The Love of a Lycan

The life in front of you is far more important than the life behind you.

-Joel Osteen-

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"Why?" Raine asked almost immediately. It was caused by her curiosity that washed over her. She was sure that she had heard some rumor about Torak's past. But, never had she ever thought to be given the chance to actually ask about it. She never had the courage to do so. It was now different. The chance to ask about it was upon her, it just felt so right to do so while they were still at it. 

Seeing how it was her sense of curiosity that was surfacing as a response to his long explanation, Torak was relieved. For him, it was better to see her being curious like this, rather than to see her being suddenly in fear. Or worse, if he had to see her having this disgusted look in her face for what he had done. Curiosity was a far better reaction than all these possible things in his head.

"Because there was this curse." Torak started to explain it further. After seeing that Raine's reaction was far better than he expected, he felt relaxed. He then began to play his fingers between the strands of her hair again.

"What kind of curse?" This was the question that she had been dying to ask for so long.

"A curse that gave me this miserable fate of not having a mate for my entire immortal life." Torak said it lightly. To think about it now, he realized that when he talked about the curse, he didn't feel any of the familiar wrath that would usually gather, and center within him anymore. 

"But, didn't you say... I am your…" Raine puzzled after hearing his further explanation. Wasn't it him who always said that I am his mate?—she thought to herself.

"My mate." Torak brought her hand to his lips, and kissed her fingers. "I did something meritorious, and then the Moon Goddess decided to lift the curse off of me. Also from my brothers as well."

Raine beamed when she heard this. "What you've done must've been something extremely remarkable, that it got the Moon Goddess to change her mind!"

"I guess so." Torak shrugged his shoulder. 

"But, what did you, and your brother actually do that made the Moon Goddess give this curse to you?" Raine kept asking questions, since they were still in this topic. She thought that it would be better for her to ask away whatever it was regarding the curse, or anything she was curious about his past. In fact she meant to satisfy her curiosity while at it. Now was her chance to do that.

However, for some reason, Torak seemed to be unwilling to answer that in detail. "Unfortunately, it was an extremely dreadful sin, that I feel too ashamed to even say it to you my love." He leaned over and kissed Raine's forehead. "I am sorry, I can't answer this question."

It must've been something deeply unsettling, and grotesque. Because it somehow made Torak feel this way, to an extent of refusing to share this matter with her. Raine contemplated for a while before she remembered something about what Torak just said before. "Wait, you said that there was another thing. Something that was a way more important reason for you, to take the guardian angel away from the village. What was that?"

Torak sighed, Raine was too observant. "First, because Selene didn't like the rule that the shadow warriors set for guardian angels. And the second reason was that because we needed them to fight against the devil." Torak explained it as if he was telling a bedtime story to a child.

"Centuries ago there was this great war between Lycanthropes, and the devils. And this involved all the creatures that existed in all realms there were." 

Raine's breath hitched as she listened to him. She couldn't imagine if she had to be where that war happened. Because for her, after seeing Torak fight in his Lycan form for just a couple times alone, it was already a frightening scene to experience. Let alone if the scene had to be topped with thousands of creatures, or more, fought with each other!

"Who was the winner?" Raine asked with fear in her eyes. 

"Who do you think won it?" said Torak, smiling brightly to answer her innocent question.

Seeing how he smiled, Raine also smiled beautifully when she realized the answer to her question. "Glad to hear that." Raine slightly pushed herself up, and kissed his chin. 

Torak was beyond satisfied with Raine's reaction, especially when she kissed him voluntarily. It seemed to him that she didn't look at him in disgust or fear, at all. In fact, she rather seemed to be accepting of him even after what he had told her. She doesn't hate me, right?—he thought.

"Do you see me as a beast now? A bloodthirsty, pathetic beast who lives by killing other creatures? Do you?" Torak asked her in honesty. Although his voice was as calm as ever, he was truly worried with what Raine's answer could actually be.

Raine gave some thought to answer Torak's question. "Even now, there's so many things that I don't understand. The part that you have to kill other creatures, all to achieve what you want, is the scariest thing above all that I ever heard. But…" Raine caressed Torak's face, tracing her fingers on his jaw line. "I think humans are also the same. Some of them killed each other to survive, or they would try to hurt other people to make themselves feel better."

It was like the treatment that Raine had received in the hospital and orphanage. That nurse had this need to hurt her, because he wanted to feel superior and strong. Rumor has it that he was depressed for a long time because his chief kept pressuring him at work.

In the orphanage, other kids would talk bad about Raine, because they wanted to make themselves appear better. They were just a bunch of people who thought that hurting other people emotionally, would get them to find, if any, a secure feeling to themselves. That someone else had to have a more miserable life than them, all to make themselves feel better. That was exactly what they did to her back then.

But what Serefina did was another thing. She did it in a different way though. Behind her action of burning her mother's diary, other than the good intention that she claimed to be her based motive, Raine felt there was something personal about her action. There was something more behind it, which made her treat Raine harshly.

No matter what form it took, they did that all to survive. It was their natural instinct to save themselves. 

"It's their natural instinct to survive when people hurt other people. In your case, you just brought it to another level." Raine said it calmly. "It's not my place to judge what you have done, you must have had your own reason for that. Maybe I can't accept some of it. But, all of that had already happened, and there's nothing I can do about that."

Torak looked at Raine without blinking, his mate really grew from a scared little girl, who was always afraid of her surroundings to be a beautiful girl, who could learn the lessons from what had happened in her life. 

"Thus, I want to live my life with you now, and I don't want the past to be a burden, or bother what I have now." Raine smiled sheepishly, realizing that she had talked too much. 

"Thank you for being understanding towards me, even after all the things that I just told you about." Torak couldn't describe the flow of this blissful feeling that ran through his veins now. On the edge of his mind, his beast purred in total satisfaction with his mate's cognition. 

"But, can you promise one thing?" She didn't want to ask too much from Torak, but she needed his answer for this. "From now on, can you refrain yourself from killing others?"

"Everything for you my love." Torak kissed her hand, pulling her close to him. "As long as they don't do any harm to you, I will try." said Torak neither agreeing nor rejecting her request.

Actually, that wasn't exactly the answer that Raine wanted to hear, but she knew Torak would try to keep his words.