The Life Of Normal-Taro

Pretty early in the next morning, Thankappan called in an autorickshaw and took Taro to his destination. "Here you go—we're at the mall now." The special agent proclaimed as he got out of the rickshaw.

"Thanks again, my man! I would've invited you into the mall, but since you said you had things to do, I'm gonna refrain from doing so." Taro bowed towards Thankappan to show the absurd amount of respect that he felt for the guy. He didn't imagine someone helping him to these lengths, even if they were orders from the higher ups.

"Ah, no worries." Thankappan gave out a bitter smile upon seeing Taro's sincerity. Thankappan lied about him having things to do. The special agent was tired of escorting the alien, even though this was supposed to be the first job assigned to him. "Fuck, I feel kinda guilty now. Well, whatever." He was pretty quick in getting rid of the guilt inside him.

"Okay then. I'll go buy my basic necessities." Taro waved his arms and jogged towards the mall, only for Thankappan to stop him.

"You sure you'll be able to come home by yourself?" The agent asked.

"Home, huh..." A smile came forth in his face as he heard Thankappan's words. It had been a long time since he considered some place as his home. "No problem. I got them cards that you gave me. If I can't get back, then I'm not even qualified to live on this planet." Taro laughed.

"Don't say that!" Thankappan retorted. "By the way, be careful when you get back. The traffic over here is four times more than any other place."

"Sure, I'll keep that in my mind." Taro gave a thumbs up.

"I see. I'll get my ass out of here then." Thankappan nodded his head and got back into the rickshaw.

#

In Holy Land; Thankappan had arrived after his short trip to the mall with Normal-taro. The special agent took no time to turn on the fan and jumped into the sofa. It felt like bliss. "Whew! Finally, the rest that I deserve!" Thankappan sighed.

"I see. This is the important thing that you told about to Taro, right?" A voice was heard beside him, which startled Thankappan. It was Plankton, in his human appearance.

"#69420! What—what're you implying?" Thankappan was flustered by Kunjan's question.

"I'm implying that you're a good-for-nothing lazy bum. You didn't think anyone else would hear your conversation now, did you?" A sharp gaze pierced through human Kunjan's stoic face. It was the gaze of the plankton—a gaze so sharp, that it sent shivers down Thankappan's spine.

"How?" Thankappan dared not to follow up. He was literally frightened still by Kunjan.

"You idiot! I'm an elite species from the plankton civilization thriving in those secret agent stuff you see in your movies. How dumb can you be if you think that I couldn't hear a conversation four feet away from me?" Kunjan gave out a triumphant laugh.

"I didn't account for that." Thankappan cursed on himself inwardly.

"You should've." The plankton placed a hand on him and continued. "By the way, how ruthless can you be to send an alien out in the wilderness all alone? I don't think he even knows the way back."

"It's just fifteen minutes from here! And he promised that he'll be back, safe and sound." Thankappan protested.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, young man! You basically left a child out in the streets." Kunjan clicked his tongue in disappointment.

"But he's no child!"

"He might as well be, since he doesn't fucking know the way!" A slight anger was heard from Kunjan's voice. The plankton had already got quite fond of Taro within the few hours since they met.

"Damn it! Enough with the emotional blackmail already! You're speaking as if I don't feel any remorse about it." Thankappan's guilt-ridden mind couldn't comprehend the barrage of arguments and rebuke from the plankton.

"What's up with the early morning spat?" Lonappan, who had been in the house beside for the entire night, joined in on the conversation.

"Lonappan! You see, Thankappan here ditched Taro in the middle of the road." Kunjan explained the situation in short.

This ticked off Thankappan. "Hey, what's up with the change in narrative? Look here, Lonappan. Taro asked if he could buy some basic necessities and so I took him to where he could buy it." He explained, hoping that his colleague would understand his side of the story.

"And where's that?" Lonappan asked.

Thankappan didn't quite get how the flow of the conversation changed into that direction, but he answered. "Koma-mall."

Lonappan took a deep breath and shouted. "YOU IDIOT!"

[Sigh] "Indeed, what an idiot!" Kunjan shook his head, the disappointment clearly visible through his body language.

"What happened guys?" Meanwhile, Gibli who heard the commotion in the living room, asked.

"Gibli, this idiot took Taro to the Koma-mall to buy his stuff." Kunjan took it on himself to explain the situation.

"Truly, his idiocy is incomparable." Gibli agreed with Kunjan and Lonappan.

Seeing the three calling him an idiot time after time, Thankappan finally snapped. "Hey, cut it out. What did I do so wrong for you freaks to call me an idiot?" He screamed.

"Ah, I see. Years of training inside closed doors wasn't meant to teach you common sense after all." Lonappan placed a hand over his shoulder and sighed.

"What are you talking about?" Thankappan didn't get it. He was confused as of why these people called him an idiot.

"Look, how much did Taro have on him?" Lonappan asked.

"One lakh [1], probably?" He replied.

"Well, by the end of this night, he'll not have a single penny of it left on him." Lonappan explained.

"What do you mean?" Thankappan still didn't get it, yet he was intrigued.

Lonappan took a few steps towards the window and opened it. A cool breeze flew through the opening. Lonappan stared at the rising sun for a good few minutes before he spoke. "You don't know shit about the underlying evil of this planet—shopping malls. Taro's current mindset is indecisive. He doesn't know what to buy. And the devil of the shopping mall resides in an indecisive mind. You know what? Even an indecisive mind is fine. Do you know what's not? An indecisive mind with ample cash to spend. That's where the demon king of all the evil resides." Lonappan brushed his hand past his head as he continued. "Places like Koma-mall—you should only enter that god forsaken place if you have no cash to roll or if you have a clear cut decision on what to buy. Taro's the complete opposite. He has the resources, yet he doesn't know shit. Basically, you let a simpleton run amok in the demon's castle."

The scene of Lonappan explaining a shitload of nonsense about shopping malls was worth the watch, according to Thankappan. The others were in awe about Lonappan's storytelling skills too. But Thankappan was still confused about a thing. "Dude, what's up with the demonic innuendo?" He asked.

"That's the reality when it comes to those malls, isn't it?" Lonappan asked back, putting on a cool yet cringeworthy smile on his face. Anyone else and that would've been pure cringe. Somehow, he managed it.

"True." Plankton nodded his head on agreement.

"I agree with that statement." Gibli doubled down on it.

"Wow, everyone's on sync." Thankappan was amazed that the three were in complete agreement on this case—even though the topic of agreement was his idiocy. All of a sudden, he caught up with Lonappan's crazy storytelling and was in a frenzy. "Wait, I let Taro buy stuff from such a fearsome place. What the hell am I supposed to do now?" He asked, as he got into an intense panic mode.

Lonappan looked at him and shook his head in disappointment. "Right now, there's nothing you could possibly do. Once an innocent person gets his sight on the allure of the demon incarnate, there's no saving that person. We could've done something if you told me before you did it. Only if you did that!" He grabbed tight onto Thankappan's shoulders and was visibly in immense pain.

Thankappan, swept over by the Oscar worthy performance from Lonappan, suddenly came back to his senses after his little panic session. "Hey, don't place the blame on me!" He squeaked.

Lonappan stopped his acting for a second and looked straight at Lonappan. "It's a hundred percent your fault." He bluntly replied.

"For real, that's on you." Kunjan joined in.

"This is what you get for your idiocy." Gibli, once again doubled in on it.

"Now, we can't just bash on him for lacking the common sense. For now, let's wait and hope that Taro has a strong will." Lonappan said.

"Highly unlikely." Kunjan replied. "Other than that, you're fucked if he went missing too, since you were the one who left him alone in an unknown place. Just gonna remind you that part too."

"Don't make me suffer like this, please!" Thankappan spoke in a low voice. "Taro, please be safe!" The special agent cried on the inside. He knew it—if it went wrong and Taro goes missing or something, this had the possibility of ending up as a diplomatic issue that might even end up in a war with Taro's home planet. And if it doesn't, it'll at least end up with him being dismissed from MIB. His life and job depended on whether this one alien safely shops from a random shopping mall. What a fucking life!

#

[1] One lakh INR is roughly 1300 USD. That's some big bucks for a broke guy like myself.