The Great Core's Paradox

Triss flexed her fingers, slick with sweat and grime, causing the wooden shaft of her spear to creak. The darkwood rod was well-worn by time and training, any roughness long since smoothed away by the oils of her palms. From her position just outside the great darkwood doors of the Nature Core’s sanctuary, she almost felt as if she could overlook all of Verdant Grove.

She could see the crop-towers that soared high over the surrounding null-water, the concerted efforts of Verdant Groves many generations. Their supporting columns were filigreed with ornamental carvings of leaves and vegetation; fantastical images that could only rarely be seen outside of a city that possessed a Nature Core.

Here, they were commonplace. Here, nature grew in abundance.

She shifted again, idly imagining that she could pick out the individuals that walked along the paths far below in their early errands. There, Ian the baker’s son strode to one of the granaries, no doubt in search of more flour for his father’s shop. Elsewhere, she picked out Sierra, skipping along with her mother at her side. She shuffled her weight again.

Skies above, it hadn’t even been a month yet and she was already imagining that her ankles had begun to swell. She pressed a hand against her stomach, smiling faintly. Maybe she could convince Nolan to give her a massage when her shift ended. That might be nice, though he hadn’t been in a great mood lately, what with the pushiness of the delegation from Virtun.

She shook her head at the thought. Imagine, thinking that Verdant Grove would be willing to sell their Nature Core for any price. It was practically their cultural identity. There had never been a chance.

Her shift passed on in a slow slog; boring, but she was willing to accept that. Sanctuary duty was one of the least stressful of a Guard’s duties, and stress was not something that she needed at the moment. Not at all.

Suddenly, a great boom echoed through the cavern, followed by a series of sharp cracks that pulled her gaze upwards. Stone fell from the ceiling in a great mass. The screams began.

The world shifted in between blinks, and she found herself desperately clawing at jagged stone, fingertips bleeding where the skin had split. Her spear had already been broken, snapped when she tried to use it as a lever to pull herself free from the coffin of stone. Her breath quickened, and her vision closed in.

She knew that she should stop. She should give herself a moment to think, to calm herself before the air ran too thin. Someone would come for her, surely. The fall of the stones had not been quiet.

She didn’t. The walls were too close, and they were closing in on her. Her lungs were too empty, never quite satisfied. The prison of stone ran red with blood, stained with her desperation.

Out. Out. Out. She needed out. Her baby needed out. Out. Out. Out. Out.

Please, let us out.

Please let my baby out.

Triss screamed. Her prison of stone muffled the noise, and the screams outside drowned out what remained. It was a long time before anyone came for her.

Triss gasped, breaking free from the nightmare, sweat-covered clothes sticking to her skin. She reflexively touched a hand to her stomach, feeling a familiar pang of loss. She wept.

“Miss Triss?” a little voice whispered in the darkness. Triss followed the sound. Anna, sweet child that she was, stared back at her with wide eyes and furrowed brows. One hand held onto her necklace, an almost imperceptible glow slipping from the cracks between her tiny fingers. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

Triss wiped at her eyes, pulling herself together. She was a Guard of Verdant Grove - and now, Orken. She needed to act like it.

Still, the nights were the hardest - the times when she was forced to relive everything that happened. Sometimes it was the collapse. Sometimes it was finding Nolan’s body, or watching her best friend bleed out during the retreat.

Their living situation was a surprising help. Orken simply didn’t have proper housing for all of the refugees, so they were forced to make do with what they could, sleeping on makeshift cots in huddled quarters until something better could be constructed. Someone else was always nearby.

It was nice. Triss didn’t want to be alone in the dark. Not again.

Finally, she managed to pull in a shaky breath, filling her lungs with sweet air. She was fine, she told herself. She almost believed it.

Triss twisted her lips into a soft smile. It was dark enough that she hoped it would look more genuine than it felt. “Just a nightmare, sweetie,” she whispered. “Don’t you worry about me. I’m a tough girl.”

Something in her voice must have betrayed the lie; a hitch in her breath, a shaking in her lungs. Or maybe it was just the understanding that came with common ground, because the child didn’t seem to believe her.

“I used to have nightmares, too,” Anna whispered back. “It’s okay to be sad and afraid. Miss Valera told me that.” She said the words softly, seriously, as if Triss were the scared child and Anna the comforting adult.

It was a little cute, and Triss found herself with the beginnings of a real smile.

Anna leaned in closer, pressing against the sweat-soaked cot where Triss still lay. Oddly enough, Triss began to feel a light sense of peace and calmness wash over her, worming its way past the remnants of the nightmare. She still remembered her prison. She still remembered what she had lost. She still felt that anguish.

It was a little easier to handle, though.

“Used to?” Triss asked, eager to keep the conversation going. Even now, she didn’t want to go back to sleep. Besides, the child seemed excited about something.

“Yeah,” she replied, a sad look on her face. “I missed my mommy and daddy a whole bunch and I kept dreaming that the monsters were gonna come take me away like they took my parents.”

Triss didn’t know how to respond to that. What could she even say? Before she could rattle an answer from her exhausted brain, Anna continued.

“I still miss them, but the monsters don’t come for me as much anymore.” Her voice dropped into an excited whisper, and a painfully incandescent smile plastered itself on her face. “The last time they did, the Little Guardian came to wake me up and keep them away. He was really tiny and cute, but the monsters didn't stand a chance!”

“Oh, really?” Triss questioned, not quite sure who the Little Guardian was - either a figment of the girl’s imagination or somebody she hadn’t managed to meet yet. The Seekers and most of the Guards had been hard-pressed to provide enough food for everyone, and Triss was rarely able to spend time within Orken itself. “You think the Little Guardian would help out an old lady like me?” she asked, playing along. It was a welcome distraction.

“Yeah!” the girl answered with excitement, causing a few people nearby to shift in their sleep. She lowered her head sheepishly, bringing her volume back down. “You’re not one of the Little Guardian’s children like me, but I bet that I could get a Totem for you if I asked really, really nicely!”

“A Totem?” Triss asked.

“Mhm.” She jumped onto the cot, eager to show Triss what was in her hand. She noticed a bit of tension fall from her shoulders. Anna leaned a little more, squirming closer so that Triss could see the necklace she wore - a carving of some sort of snake. It looked a little bit like the snake that fought back the Hexablades, actually. The sense of peace grew slightly, and Triss felt her eyelids grow a little heavier.

With the nightmares, she hadn’t slept much lately. Not since everything that happened, and everyone that she lost.

Anna looked at her with wide, hesitant eyes, and chewed on the bottom of her lip. “Do you...do you want me to stay with you tonight, Miss Triss?”

Triss wanted to say no; it wasn’t a child’s job to try and save an adult from her nightmares, especially not a Guardswoman. Her drooping eyes made the decision for her. She was too exhausted to protest.

She nodded, and Anna snuggled closer.

Maybe it was the comfort of a child so close by, a replacement - though not quite a replacement, never a replacement - for what she might have once had. Maybe she was simply too exhausted to dream any longer. Maybe Anna was right and the Little Guardian really was looking out for her.

Whatever the reason, for the first time in a long while, Triss slept peacefully that night.

Before she left on her next hunt, Anna gifted Triss a Totem of her own. The Guardswoman tied it around her neck and clutched it tight in one hand.

The child beamed.

Triss smiled back.