The Calamitous Bob

Viv opened the door to Varska’s tower the morning after. Farren had begged off the usual language lesson as he was too busy, and she thought that it was a good opportunity to rest for half a day. The rest of her group had stayed back, except for Arthur, who jumped out and found a couch as soon as they were let in.

The grouchy maid mumbled something about Viv living here now, before retreating to her own apartment on the second floor. Viv climbed up and found the usual study empty. Varska had told her to show up whenever she wanted, so she was not too worried about overstepping, but she did believe that Varska’s apartments on the fourth floor were off-limits.

A voice was singing above. Viv decided to climb up. The door to Varska’s bedroom was locked.

As she moved up, the tower’s interior grew more light. She climbed the last step to the fifth floor and planned on knocking there to announce her presence. She did not. What she saw had stolen her attention.

The top of Kazar’s mage tower was a greenhouse.

Viv was reasonably certain that it had not started as one. Half a cupola of steel blocked the light, hinting at the presence of an observatory, but the other half had been covered by a transparent sheet of something that let in most of the morning’s sun. Shelves covered the wall, filled with a colorful kaleidoscope of plants and flowers of many different essences. There were carmine beauties staring haughtily from arched stems, stoic cacti with modest white flowers, and even a bulbous carnivorous plant with a fat belly, waiting patiently for its breakfast. The very air tasted of that earthy brown and green mana that Varska used so well. It tasted of life. Spring. It was gorgeous.

“Wow,” Viv said.

“Do you like it?” Varska replied with undisguised pride. She wore a white and green dress of a comfortable cut. Her dark wavy hair fell freely upon her shoulders. She used a small sprinkler like a wand, pointing at some of her more unique possessions.

“This is an Enorian Scarlet Lady, one of this land’s only poisonous plants. You will notice that it is mostly blue, but when it blooms properly, the edge of its petals turns a vibrant crimson. And so do the people who touch it. Shortly before they die. Oh, and this vine is called a verdant creeper, and it makes some of the best natural ropes you can find. The northern city-states use them for their ships. And that is the prize of my collection. A suncult marea. It will take another six years to grow to its full size. I have had the plant since I was seven.”

Varska was cute when she was nerding it out, Viv judged.

“It’s amazing! How long have you been gardening?” she asked.

“Pretty much my whole life. My family, that is, well, their specialty…”

And just like that, the mood turned somber.

Viv moved forward and took both of Varska’s hands between her own.

“Hey. It’s alright. We’re here, now, in this place, and it’s one of most beautiful things I’ve seen since I arrived into this world. I don’t know anything about Nyil gardening, and even I can tell that it’s the result of time, effort, and talent.”

“Yes…”

“So forget about the rest and let’s enjoy our moment together, right? Just relax.”

Viv massaged the poor girl’s arm. Once again, Varska showed a brittleness that she never let out in public.

“Relax and enjoy the moment,” the woman repeated in a tiny voice.

“Yep!”

Varska took a step forward and kissed Viv on the lips.

“Hmm!”

‘Oh!’ Viv thought.

That caught her off guard.

Varska was quite daring.

The little Vixen.

Also, she smelled really nice and her lips were soft and Viv liked the lithe body pressed against her own. Varska was one of the nicest things to happen to Viv, and she could still not believe her luck. Viv had spilled everything and Varska had helped her instead of backstabbing her or selling her to be vivisected.

“I’m… I’m sorry!” the mage said before pulling away, mortified. Viv had not reacted to the kiss. She had just been too surprised.

“I apologize. It was—”

But Viv did not want the tiny smiles to stop, and so she grabbed Varska by the shoulders as the woman tried to pull away.

“Not so faaaaaast,” Viv whispered in her ear. The smaller woman shivered, and Viv delicately flipped her around. They were face to face, with Varska captive in her arms.

“You surprised me, stole a kiss, and now you expect to flee without retribution? I think not.”

“I just wanted to live.”

Ouch. That came from deep within the heart, Viv could tell, so she said nothing and simply leaned closer.

Their second kiss was more tentative. Viv took the lead and enjoyed teasing and exploring, closing her eyes. Varska was breathing hard against her and she was very warm too. She tasted of tea and smelled of green things and sunshine. Viv leaned more into the kiss and Varska sort of reached a melting point. The tension in her body left completely and she practically collapsed, their embrace turning more frantic. Viv moaned as the other woman frenched her with an awkward passion that felt more genuine than anything else she had ever said. Shortly after, Varska pulled out, out of breath.

Viv licked her flushed lips and savored the moment, but soon her friend’s terribly flustered face begged for some ribbing.

“Feeling alive yet?”

“Hm. Not sure. Weshouldtryagainjustincase!!!”

Varska had brought a couch up into a greenhouse at some point in the past, and they made use of it. Varska lacked experience, though she certainly did make up for it with enthusiasm, and so Viv refrained from going too far. They simply snogged and snuggled until the smaller woman rested her head on Viv’s shoulder. The outlander caressed Varska’s shock of dark curls slowly, and wondered at the change in her companion. Varska had deflated, there were no other words for it. Her composure had fallen apart, and even now she was letting out deep sighs of contentment.

“I am lucky I found you,” Varska finally said.

“Err no, pretty sure I’m the lucky one. I mean, you helped me, guided me, and you did not even sell me even though I’m an outlander.”

“Well, I did consider it.”

Viv frowned and looked down, meeting Varska’s amused gaze. The mage smiled mischievously. It gave her a much younger and happier look. Viv realized that Varska was probably, in fact, a bit younger than her. It made her decisive action that much more impressive.

“Oh, do not look at me like that. We scions of the glorious city-state of Helock are trained from birth to wield magic and influence in equal measure. I had to consider it, but I dismissed the option immediately.”

“Can’t resist my charms?”

Viv’s brows danced up and down. Varska pinched her flank.

“Ow!”

“Nope. The more charming, the more valuable. No, it goes beyond that. You cannot know because you are a foreigner, but the mark has left me… tainted. My presence would be shunned in any court or school of the continent, and you would be condemned by association. In fact, I should perhaps…”

“Tatata, no backing out now. You’ve helped me a lot and you are still helping me, and I like you. If people are pissed about it, I will gladly sit backward on a tall chair, so that they may all kiss my ass.”

Varska considered the expression in silence.

“An entertaining image. Thank you. As I was saying, this shame is mine to bear until I die. I was made by Helock’s environment, I followed its rules, and here is where it led me. I do not deny my own responsibility, but I will not fall to their ploy again for the pleasure of being someone’s shameful, shadowy servant. Never. I will keep whatever strands of honor I still have and make something out of it.”

Varska nodded with determination.

“Damn, girl, that was inspiring!”

“You... think so?”

“I do like when you look so confident. Oh, errr, while we are at it. What’s Param’s view on, you know, our kind of attraction?”

“Girl and girl you mean?”

“Yes.”

Viv watched as the mage triggered her ‘lecture mode’, growing suddenly serious.

“It will depend on the culture. On our continent, Param, there are several different approaches to it. In Enoria, any pleasure of the flesh is frowned upon because it was one of the excesses of the old king. Nobles and commoners alike are supposed to be focusing on rebuilding the land and, ahem, repopulating it. It’s not a crime, but it’s discouraged. Let’s see. The kingdom of Baran is pretty lax when it comes to it. You can marry up to five people regardless of gender, I believe. It’s the only place to allow that. Err, then the northern city-states each have their own rules. In Helock, for example, you are supposed to marry and produce heirs first, then every couple is left to decide what they want to do according to their proclivities, as long as it's discreet. The norm applies to men as well. Halluria is the only odd one out. Most of their administrative body, high merchants and so on are women, so same-sex intercourse is the norm.”

“I think I’ve heard about Halluria before. From Farren. He did not paint the land in a favorable light.”

“That’s because they’re a bunch of twits. The only reason why they still exist is because of their military. They have a path called Hallurian warborn, that only the sickest minds could produce. Trained children from infancy, forced to kill their friends in bloody games and so on. The fiercest and most cunning join the ranks of nobility, while the losers die in some ditch in one of their many civil conflicts. They only unite if attacked, or if they decide to launch an invasion. It happens from time to time. There is a tacit understanding among all nations of the continent that they will immediately unite any time Halluria starts something.”

It reminded Viv a bit of ancient Sparta. The education of children was supposedly quite rough, though she did not remember anything about killing each other. Those Hallurians sounded like nasty buggers.

“Ok enough about horrible people. How about lunch!”

“Excellent idea. Then, we can start today’s lesson. Do not think that I will take it easy on you just because our embrace sent tingles right to my toes. You will still apply yourself!”

“Can I hope for rewards if I behave?”

Varska’s light green skin grew darker, which Viv interpreted as a pretty blush, though you could not tell from her poise.

“I shall consider it. Results first, rewards later!”

“As you say.”

The next morning, someone knocked on the door as they were having breakfast. Marruk opened the door, and turned to Viv with a curious expression.

“It’s for you.”

A plump woman with her hair in a ponytail was waiting before them, holding a broom. She wore a plain dress and an absent expression. Viv could not help but assess the woman’s beauty. It was at ‘bulldog’ level.

“I’m Gogen the cleaner. I clean for you.”

“Errr, you do?”

“Yes.”

“Did… someone send you?”

“I sent myself. You saved my son so I clean for you.”

“You… want me to hire you?”

“No. I come in, I clean. Every three days. Can I come in?”

[Housekeeper, not dangerous, follows a path dedicated to turning a house into a home. Meticulous. Patient.]

Nice resume.

“Alright. Thank you?”

“No need to thank me. I am Gogen, the cleaner, and you saved my son.”

Viv watched with curiosity as the strange woman went through their large home. Viv had the time to warn her to stay away from Irao’s room and Solfis, but it was a close thing. Two facts soon became apparent.

First, Gogen the cleaner was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. In fact, she was not the sharpest spoon.

Second, she was damn good at cleaning. It was literally magical. In fifteen minutes, their rented mansion was left sparkling clean and smelling faintly of pine. She had done in minutes what would have taken hours for Viv and Marruk to achieve.

Then she left without a word.

Viv wrote herself a note to ask Irao if the woman truly was who she claimed to be. You never knew.

Viv soon left to see Farren and noticed a change in the city. She had a good reputation now, and people naturally greeted her and cleared the way. The clearing the way part might have been Marruk though.

Two weeks passed without incident.

In that time, her Focus and Acuity both rose by one point, which was encouraging. As expected, it took effort and dedication to make progress in terms of statistics after the low-hanging fruits had been plucked. Nyil rewarded effort and commitment over time, or maybe it was just magic itself being shaped by repetition? Viv did not know.

Viv’s Power and Endurance also raised by one point each, thanks to her practicing forms to enhance her mana perception under Solfis’ strict supervision. She expected that those would slow down as well before long. In any case, the results of her training showed mostly in runes and magical skills.

With one or more rune per day mastered, her versatility improved with blinding speed. The problem was that understanding was one thing, using in the heat of battle was another. She focused on a select few, and managed to combine spread and direction together with the annihilation meaning to create a flamethrower of sorts, which she nicknamed the ‘werfer’ after the German word. The werfer was far from being as powerful and… definitive as the blight spell, but it had the merit of being much faster to cast, and it did not linger with the risk of rending allies into their component atoms.

Hopefully.

It would be kind of fucked up if blight destroyed matter completely. She did not think that it had that sort of physics-fucking power. Physics-defying was a thing. Eliminating the very blocks of the universe was another.

Probably.

Besides that, she managed to make the purge spell thinner and faster, which meant that she could essentially throw lasers that cut through stone and use them as whip. The range was average but it did pack a punch, and it was fast and cheap.

Another thing Viv noticed was that black mana was poor in terms of defense and utility. Varska could erect protective walls that stayed there even after her mana had been spent. Brown and green mana had plenty of tools to work with while black mana could basically destroy and that was it. Arguably, it did that last part pretty well.

Varska mentioned useful spells that used colorless magic that Viv could add to her bag of tools. She demonstrated it by erecting a transparent shield that blocked sound, which was super neat when your neighbour snored or something. Unfortunately, it required the ability to manifest colorless, or neutral mana, and Viv could not do it reliably yet. In fact, her extreme attunement worked against her in this instance. Solfis and Varska both judged that it would be better to focus on her strengths right now, as her progress would eventually lead her to colorless manipulation as a natural consequence of a better control.

Viv also got the hang of placing enchantments on surfaces. Those were rune-triggered spells that lasted for a while and could be employed as traps, early warning systems or alarms that blared when a scaly hand tickled the meat drawer.

Her skill progress spoke for itself. Except for danger sense, they all made rapid improvement.

Path skills

Meditative Trance

Intermediate 8 - 9

Mana manipulation

Intermediate 1 - 2

Mana sense

Beginner 6 - Advanced 1

Danger sense

Beginner 3

Mana absorption

Beginner 4 - 9

Besides training, there were other things to do. Farren had a small library of books, including legends of mighty heroes and heroines and their many deeds. This gave Viv a good outlook on the culture of Mornyr, at least, and she was absolutely certain that if she ever went there, she would make a fucking mess of things. Values and etiquette were just too complex. It was already a miracle that she hadn’t offended anyone yet, or at least not anyone important.

Then there was Varska.

Viv was living the dream. Varska was cute, smart, and really into her. She was also fragile in a way that Viv did not know how to manage. There were periods when the proud mage would grow moody and despondent, and there was little Viv could do besides being there. She suspected that it would take a therapist to handle the massive wound on the girl’s psyche. As such, she had never pried into her past. It made conversations a bit awkward sometimes, but Viv judged that she had to wait for Varska to open up about her past. In the meantime, they snuggled and kissed and Viv had even baked her a cake. There were few dating options in Kazar, and Varska was shy, but they did manage a nice picnic in a nearby meadow on a particularly sunny day.

Viv was taking things slow. Varska clearly lacked experience with the physical aspect of things. There was no need to rush. Viv even thought that the girl was a virgin, as she had mentioned that it was considered better to remain chaste before marriage in her culture, and also that her fiance had understandably broken things off when she fell from grace. Viv had never broached the subject, of course. She only let Varska set the speed.

Viv was not the only one to keep herself busy. She had managed to push Marruk into joining the temple guard’s sparring sessions every morning while she was learning Enorian. As expected, the stout Kark woman could hold her own against any but the most able opponents, though she grew a reputation for being a frustrating partner. Marruk’s style was slow and vicious, relying on counter-strikes and other quick, efficient movements to capitalize on the enemy’s mistakes. At any other time, she would huddle safely behind her door, occasionally bashing it into someone’s face. Viv once asked her if this was a Kark tradition, or if Marruk was an outlier.

“Shield lines are a Kark tradition, yes, but I learned the style by, errr, fending off mobs.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sometimes, humans would see me and get ideas. When that happened, I would find a place to cover my back and fight like this until the assholes grew tired or they would run out of intact tibias.”

Viv let the topic drop. The more time she spent with Marruk, the more amazing it was that the Kark had not lost it and massacred a bunch of people before being put down.

Arthur was also progressing in her own way. She was still tiny, but she was growing fast. Like a kitten. The dragonling could now reach Viv’s waist when standing on her back legs, though she was still quite light. Arthur could now understand simple instructions. She also liked to disobey them. Viv took things patiently and took some time to explain why destroying the furniture was a bad idea, though she doubted that Arthur understood her. She spent a few iron talents on toys for the small one to test her claws on. Viv had experience babysitting her cousins. Arthur was a strange mix between a toddler and a tiger cub. The new ‘surrogate mother’ skill did not seem to be doing anything, so Viv just did her best to stimulate and educate Arthur. It seemed to work. For the rest, her instincts guided her. Arthur took to hunting small game and flying by herself.

A month after the caravan attack, Farren came to her with a new request as they were wrapping up the day’s lesson. Viv was now fluent enough in Enorian to hold most conversations.

“Preparations to explore the tunnel are well on their way. I will have enough supplies and personnel to start after the seeding festival at the end of the month.”

“Seeding festival?”

“The local spring celebration. In any case, there is something I would like you to do. Against payment of course. Are you familiar with the mountain tribes?”

“There are mountain tribes?” Viv asked, surprised. She had never heard of them.

“They seldom travel during winter. You will see more of them as summer comes. How should I put it? The tribes are one of the hardiest and poorest people in all of Param. They cultivate the mountain flanks using a specific kind of agriculture that employs basic earth manipulation to create flat planes. Quite clever. Anyway, I can explain more during our trip. Suffice to say, they rely on ward stones to keep black mana away from their crops, and those stones need to be recharged. Normally I could request support from a squad of hybrid fighters, like those arcane blades, for that task, but it would be cheaper if you handled it. We would also get a few more benefits.”

“What kind of benefits?”

“Well, first, I want to use one of their villages as a base camp to search for the mine entrance. Mountain people do not trust outsiders easily, so your help might win us a lot of goodwill. You are… easily recognizable.”

“Fair enough.”

“You would also know what to expect from the deadland mountains. Lastly, the church is one of their crops’ main purchasers. You see, due to the overabundance of black mana, the veggies and cereals they grow last for ages. It’s perfect for military rations. By securing our supply, we can get in the good graces of my Enorian counterparts. The gods know that they will need food in the months to come. The war, you see?”

“I get it.”

Viv was reminded of Solfis’ words, about how Farren would be used by his colleagues. She hoped that the golem was wrong.

“I am authorized to pay you two gold talents for the entire operation, plus whatever undead you kill on the way. Would that be acceptable?”

“Yeah okay. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow morning.”