Chapter 43

“I stopped by to tell Lord Kardien something. What about Estelle?

“I thought it would be good to learn about Kingdom Sebran’s etiquette and culture before I went there to study, so I came to learn from Lucian. Lucian once worked with mercenaries in Kingdom Sebran, so he knows about the culture there.”

I hurriedly packed my bag.

“I didn’t know there was a prior engagement between you two and I barged in on my own. I’m sorry. I’ll be on my way.”

I was trying to leave quickly because I was unintentionally rude to them, but Lucian and Estelle shouted at the same time.

“It’s okay!”

“That’s all right.”

Estelle said, holding my hand tightly.

“It’s been a while since we last saw each other because I’ve been busy preparing to study abroad. I’ll just be listening to Lucian, so stay with me if you don’t mind. Lucian would like it too, right?”


“Yeah. I’d like that.”

Two people looked at me with desperate faces. They looked like two dogs who were nervous about their owner leaving the house.

I ended up nodding my head.

───── 〔✿〕─────

Under the warm sun, the three of us sat around a table for a tea party.

The table was full of sweet desserts that must have been prepared for me.

I chewed on soft tarts, and Estelle, sitting next to me, diligently listened to Lucian and took notes.

“The people of Kingdom Sebran hate receiving help from others. Some of the more sensitive people are offended if you try to help them. So don’t say that you like to help.”

Estelle’s face turned pale at those words.

“Then, what should I do if I see a grandma having a hard time dragging a big cart?”

“They’ll take care of it themselves.”

“What if I see someone hurt on the street?”

“There are medical centers everywhere, so they’ll get there somehow.”

“But….”

Lucian said firmly to Estelle’s grim face.

“Don’t help them in any circumstance unless they specifically ask you for help. If you don’t do as I say, they’ll curse at you.”

“……Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Estelle’s shoulder sank weakly.

Seeing that, Lucian grinned a little at Estelle. At that moment, my shoulders flinched without realizing it.

“When I saw you the other day, you said it was difficult to always be helping others. And that you want to live without having to care for anyone. Now that the opportunity has come, you should be happy.”

“I did say that because I was having a difficult time, but I didn’t really mean it.”

They were just having a small conversation. This was not the first time I saw the two of them together.

‘So why am I….?’

Why did one side of my heart feel heavy as if I saw a scene I didn’t want to see?

I tried to ignore the feeling and put another piece of the tart in my mouth.

───── 〔✿〕─────

Hours later, Estelle and I stood up.

Estelle thanked Lucian with her notes in her hand.

“Thank you, Lucian. Thanks to you, I think I will make fewer mistakes in Kingdom Sebran.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Lucian replied calmly and looked at me.

“Are you leaving too, MyLlady?”

He gave me a look that said to not go, but this time, it didn’t work.

I answered in an unwavering voice.

“Yes, I can’t barge in again and eat more of your food. I’m not that shameless.”

“……That’s not a shameless thing to do. That’s the right thing to do.”

I bowed heartlessly to Lucian who was muttering those words.

“Then I’ll be on my way. And please think about what I asked you to do earlier.”

“……Alright.”

Lucian didn’t insist that I stay anymore. Instead, he looked as sad as a dog with drooping ears and tail.

Seeing that made me feel bad, but I recollected myself again.

‘I shouldn’t be dragged by him like this.’

So I left the mansion with Estelle.

We decided not to take a carriage and walk. It’s been a long time since we walked on the street together like this.

I swept my hair that was flying in the wind and asked Estelle.

“Is the preparation for the school going well?”

“Yes, His Majesty has prepared most of it so I don’t have much to do myself.”

Whether you were busy or not, I still felt restless. There were only two weeks remaining before Estelle left the empire.

She had little time to prepare for the long trip.

Estelle said, lowering her eyebrows.

“However, I’m worried that the priests are still against it.”

I wrinkled my eyebrows.

When Estelle announced that she was going to study in the Kingdom of Sebran, many were shocked.

Among them, it was the priests who reacted most violently.

Priests unanimously opposed Estelle’s study abroad.

[A Saintess must defend this empire so you cannot leave this place!]

Their opposition was so severe that they flocked to the Flower Grass House to protest against her study abroad.

I gritted my teeth with an angry face.

“Those oldies. How long are they going to hold you back using your title as the Saintess? If they want a saintess here to protect the empire, they can become saints themselves to do that.”

Estelle replied softly to my discontent.

“Saints are precious beings protected by God to the priests. I understand why they’re anxious and reluctant to let me leave.”

“Do you have to get permission from some old men? His Majesty told you to go, so you can just ignore them.”

“A Saintess can’t leave the priests behind. I’ll have to convince them before I leave.”

Estelle continued with a scheming face.

“Don’t worry, if it doesn’t work out, I can use my last resort.”

“Last resort? What’s that?”

Use your beauty, cry, or threaten to expose the priests’ private lives?

Estelle replied with a bright face.

“If Lucian speaks to them, the priests will understand.”

The priests wouldn’t stop their protest just because of Lucian’s beautiful features if they were not swayed by Estelle’s beauty.

In that case…

“Are the priests afraid of Lord Kardien?”

Estelle replied with a smile.

Then, she told me about something that happened a long time ago.

When Estelle first brought Lucian, the priests were wary of him.

Because red eyes were believed to have been cursed by the devil.

But contrary to their worries, Lucian was a well-behaved child.

All he did all day was follow after Estelle.

Now, because of that, the priests were wary of Lucian.

However, the priests’ thinking changed rapidly.

Estelle was late for an important event she decided to attend as the Saintess.

By the time Estelle arrived, the event had already ended horribly. The faces of priests who always loved Estelle were cold.

Estelle stood trembling with her hands together, unable to make any excuses.

Priests began to scold such Estelle with a stern face.

“We’ve given you independence because you have always been good. But I’m very disappointed that this was the first thing to happen as soon as you left the temple.”

“As expected, it seems to be too early to let you be independent. Please come back to the temple.”

Estelle begged them to give her one more chance and that she would never make this mistake again.

She begged because all freedom would be taken away once she went back to the temple.

But the priests coldly shook their heads and started to pack Estelle’s things.

At that moment, Lucian appeared.

Lucian stood between her and the priest, as if to protect Estelle.

Estelle couldn’t see Lucian’s face because she was behind him.

And the priests were facing Lucian.

After a while, the priests began to step back with pale faces.

As if they had run into a tiger at night.

“The priests were no longer angry at me. They didn’t ask me to come back to the temple again.”

Of course, even if you were a priest serving God, you wouldn’t want to die.

The priests must have felt instinctive fear at the sight of Lucian’s eyes.

Estelle said with a playful smile.

“After that day, I would often get Lucian’s help when things get tough. Whenever Lucian shows up, the priests would become quiet.”

Her smile looked very relaxed. I also wouldn’t feel any anxiety if I had Lucian on my side at all times.

That’s understandable.

Estelle must think Lucian’s feelings for her were similar to deep loyalty or long-standing affection for a sister.

‘His feelings for you aren’t just that.’

Lucian’s affection for her was much more serious and deep than she thought.

Enough to make the viewer’s heart ache.

And that’s why I couldn’t accept his feelings for me.


‘I can’t believe that someone who loved her that much now likes me…I just can’t believe that he really has feelings for me.’

───── 〔✿〕─────

The next day, Lucian’s aide, Paul, came and took all the gifts he had sent.

“Lord Lucian said that you can call him if you ever need us again.”

Looking at Paul and 20 wagons that disappeared, my father burst into tears.

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“Do you have to do this, Pernia? This is cruel. You’re really cruel. You’re just like your mother. She said that she would never leave me, but she left me. What a heartless woman. She said she’d live with me until her dark hair became white. How could she do such a horrible thing to me….”

Anne, who stood next to her father, also looked bitter.

“It’s a shame. They all looked good on you. If you had gone out to the banquet wearing them, you would have pushed down the noses of those who ignored you when you were in need.”

I didn’t regret doing this at all.

But what should I do? Asking for it back would hurt my petty pride.

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