Tech Hammer

Hit an academician's face with his teaching assistant certificate?

Tian Yan could say this as a matter of course, but Ning Wei naturally couldn't take it seriously. As for the position of assistant coach, to be honest, I would rather take it than resist it. Anyway, it’s not like I haven’t taught classes before. During the summer vacation, I have already given twelve classes to many doctoral students, so at least I won’t have stage fright.

If you just help Senior Brother Lu teach, it's actually nothing. After all, Lu Dongyi helped him a lot during his growth. He occasionally helped with two classes and corrected homework and papers, so it was not a big problem.

Anyway, there are not many homeworks that need to be corrected in college. At least Ning Wei didn't think Lu Dongyi would spend too much time correcting homework.

As for taking Jiang Chenshuang out for a walk...

"Let's go back and see March, it just happened to come to life." Ning Wei suggested as soon as Lao Tian left.

"I have class tonight."

"Your course schedule is so tight? Do you still have classes at night?"

"The professor of Introduction to Economic Law went to a meeting last week, so all the courses he missed last week were scheduled to be made up tonight and Friday night."

"Then I'll take you back to your dormitory first, and then I'll go back to find March."

"oh!"

…

To Ning Wei's satisfaction, Jiang Chenshuang was probably used to being asked to hold his hand as soon as she walked out of the door, which made Ning Wei feel quite comfortable. But just when he took the girl to the entrance of the research center, he happened to meet Tan who had just arrived. The professor met.

When their eyes met, both of them were stunned.

"Hello, Academician Tan, are you here to see Mr. Tian? He just went out." Ning Wei immediately spoke up.

Student Jiang struggled quietly, but unfortunately he couldn't break free. He could only stand beside Ning Wei obediently, with his head slightly lowered. Although she was used to being held by Ning Wei in school, she still felt a little panicked in front of the professor.

"Ahem, actually I'm hungry and I didn't come here to see you, Director Tian. This should be your little girlfriend, right?" Probably because Jiang Chenshuang was beside him, the old professor who was originally very energetic also slowed down his tone.

"Yes, her name is Jiang Chenshuang, from the School of Economics in our school. Chenshuang, this is Academician Tan Dejie, the deputy dean of the School of New Materials in our school." Ning Wei introduced to both parties.

"Hello, Academician Tan." Jiang Chenshuang greeted Tan Dejie.

"Oh, hello, Xiaojiang. Are you in your junior year? Have you decided which supervisor to apply for as a graduate student? I have good relationships with many professors in your college. If you choose, I will help you say hello." Tan Dejie said kindly. .

"Thank you, Academician Tan, but I don't plan to take the postgraduate entrance examination. I will find a job first after graduation." Jiang Chenshuang answered gently.

"Ah, huh?" Tan Dejie glanced at Ning Wei and found that Ning Wei didn't express anything, which made him a little confused. Ning Wei's girlfriend didn't choose to go to graduate school? This answer really interrupted his train of thought.

"Well, that's it. I'll send Chen Shuang back first, see you Academician Tan." After saying that, Ning Wei pulled Jiang Chenshuang around Lao Tan and walked away.

A young man wants to fall in love, and if he stops her by force at this time, it will ruin his goodwill.

…

"You really have no plans to go to graduate school." Ning Wei asked.

"Yeah, I want to work early." Jiang Chenshuang nodded and replied.

Ning Wei thought for a moment and stopped continuing the topic. It was still early in his junior year, so there was no need to forcefully change the girl's mind now.

"By the way, do you, Director Tian, ​​have a conflict with Academician Tan? Why did Director Tian let you smash your teaching assistant certificate into Academician Tan's face?" the girl asked.

"Academician Tan probably thinks that I am more talented and wants me to study for a double Ph.D. in materials science." Ning Wei said truthfully.

Jiang Chenshuang glanced at Ning Wei in surprise and said, "Are you Xiangmomo?"

Ning Wei glanced at the girl next to him in even more surprise and said, "Oh my god, you just realized that? Did you know that when I went to attend the STOC conference, I could choose any Ivy League university by just nodding my head? By the way, it wasn't an invitation. I went to study abroad to be a professor. A professor from Harvard also said that if I want a doctoral certificate, he can print it for me, from whichever school I want."

The girl blinked, looked up at Ning Wei, and asked, "Then why didn't you agree?"

Ning Wei replied matter-of-factly: "Of course it's because of you."

The girl was stunned, unable to recover for a long time, and pointed to herself: "Because of me?"

Ning Wei nodded and replied: "Didn't I agree that I would go to the meeting to win glory for the country, and you would agree to be my girlfriend when I came back? Do you want to study abroad?"

Jiang Chenshuang shook her head subconsciously.

Ning Wei immediately said: "That's it. I guess you haven't thought about studying abroad. After all, it's too far away and you can't take care of your sister and family, so you simply refused. The professor also said, They wanted to turn my thesis into a textbook. The news seemed to say that Google invested a million dollars to make that textbook, including the cost of editing the thesis and arranging future courses at the university. At that time, they wanted to invite me to teach in person. of this course.”

The arguments are very solid. After deciding to sponsor, Google specifically mentioned it at a press conference. The news has already spread to China and can indeed be found.

The girl was a little bored, and after a while she asked: "Ning Wei, can you tell me what's so good about me? Don't you really think there's a big gap between us?"

Hearing this question, Ning Wei's mind flashed to the unreasonable words Xu Ruixuan looked like drunk and roared at Xu Mo shamelessly at the school gate.

"You, you, why didn't you show up earlier? I didn't meet you until my senior year? It makes me feel like I wasted the best four years of college! Mo Mo, why did you hide from me for so long? Why can't you Let me see you on BBS soon..."

Then he got goosebumps all over his body. Well, this completely shameless approach didn't suit him after all.

"this problem……"

Ning Wei frowned and thought carefully. He had an intuition that this seemingly inconspicuous question was actually very important: "Actually, I have been trying to interpret love from the most rational perspective. I have also read some biology books to understand I learned about the impact of hormones in the body on people's emotional characteristics, such as phenylethylamine, dopamine and endorphins, how they affect different senses of human beings in different love stages through neurotransmitters. But then I gave up, do you know why? "

Jiang Chenshuang shook her head blankly. Although she had never been in love, she still felt that there was something wrong with her painting style. So she had to study biology before falling in love? Are academic scumbags really unworthy of falling in love?

"Because it is difficult to explain love from a completely rational point of view. It can only be attributed to the purely physical manifestation of the brain's subconscious activation of hormones. More specifically, it is the irritability and anxiety caused by the inability to obtain enough hormones when we cannot meet each other. and other symptoms. These are the most direct physical reactions.”

"Then let's analyze your question rationally. It's not actually about what I like about you, but whether a simple liking can be transformed into a more lasting and stable relationship between the sexes, such as marriage. I have also thought about this question carefully. , after all, the phenylethylamine produced when falling in love at first sight and the dopamine secreted during passionate love cannot last forever. In the end, endorphins are still needed to stabilize people's emotions."

"Now it is confirmed that I like you, and it can even rise to the level of love, because during the few days when you lost contact, I could clearly feel that I was emotionally unstable, which manifested itself as anxiety, and I didn't like anyone. Now that the conditions have been met, we know that the essence of love is a linear programming, and the variables we need to bring in here are time and goals."

“In linear programming problems, the Hessian matrices of the objective function and the constraint function are both positive definite. At the same time, since the Hessian matrices of the linear function are both zero matrices, they are both positive semi-definite. Therefore, linear programming is convex programming, so As long as the feasible domain is bounded, there must be an optimal solution. And the optimal solution to a linear programming problem must exist when the feasible domain is non-empty and bounded, and appears at the vertices or boundaries of the region."

"So what is my goal? That is, what is the constraint function? In fact, it is very simple. I hope to do as much research as possible within my limited life, so I am destined not to spend too much energy and time on love. .So after I am determined to fall in love with you, I no longer have any more time and energy to like another person of the opposite sex. Therefore, from all the above conditions, it can be seen that you and I are the ultimate non-empty bounded convex set. There is no better solution."

"So the essence of this question is not what I like about you, but that many things have been determined after the condition of liking occurs. So what if you refuse? If we continue to bring it in, we will find that when the feasible domain is empty, There is obviously no optimal solution to the linear programming problem. So the result is that when we are separated, there will no longer be an optimal solution. For me, the future may be to devote myself wholeheartedly to research and depend on each other in March. For you, The trajectory of life may not be much different. So the question is, from a mathematical point of view, would you choose to take another path when there is an optimal solution?"

Really, Jiang Chenshuang was completely stunned.

After asking the question just now, she thought of all kinds of possible answers in her mind, but she didn't expect to get an answer that she seemed to understand but didn't seem to understand. She felt that her mind was confused.

At this time, the girl's appearance fell into Ning Wei's eyes, like a ripe apple, especially the red lips, so Ning Wei followed his heart and bowed down without hesitation while classmate Jiang was wandering. He lowered his head and gave it a peck...

It's soft and a little cold, but it feels really good. No wonder Xu Ruixuan is thinking about something wrong all day long.

"Yeah..." This moment also woke up Classmate Jiang from his daze. He subconsciously took a step back, then looked at Ning Wei with a blushing face.

"Well, um, do you still have any questions? Ms. Optimal Solution?"

Jiang Chenshuang shook her head subconsciously, feeling a little panicked. Is this the feeling of a first kiss? It seems pretty good...

"Ahem, just don't do it! Remember, you don't have to believe me, but you have to believe in science. After the rigorous scientific analysis just now, it has been mathematically deduced that the love between us is the mutually optimal solution. For this Do you still have questions? Do you want me to list the formulas for you?" Ning Wei asked seriously.

Jiang Chenshuang shook his head.

"Well, okay, let's go!"

…

Ning Wei was very satisfied with his explanation. It was obvious that his mathematical optimal theory of love was recognized. For example, today he sent Jiang Chenshuang to the door of the dormitory building, but the girl timidly said goodbye to him before entering the building.

This made him feel very comfortable all the way back home, until he walked into the room and looked at the lazy cat on the lighted screen. He was still struggling with the question from last night.

Yes, for the alternative test he gave March last night, he is still optimizing the laboratory procedures and building mathematical models until now. However, what makes Ningwei happy is that in the process of repeated calculations, the solution given is indeed getting closer to the results in the paper, which means that March is not simply relying on the exhaustive method to solve the problem.

After checking the calculation process in the background, Ning Wei found that March was indeed constantly summarizing experience and constantly eliminating solutions that were ineffective or might cause counter-effects. At least as far as laboratory assistants are concerned, March is undoubtedly very qualified. At least using it to integrate the plan can save a lot of time in the early stage.

After browsing it for a while, Ning Wei ignored it. As long as he continued according to this pattern and gave March enough time, he believed that March would be able to calculate the correct results. Since he decided to give March After upgrading the hardware, you can let this lazy cat do these calculations that require computing power after the upgrade.

So, he gave the email address and password specifically for March's application directly to March, and then helped March accept the three paper review tasks lying in the mailbox.

"March, from today on you will not only be a laboratory assistant, but also a competent paper reviewer. Conduct a preliminary review of these mathematics papers, find out the errors, and propose revisions. Do you understand? I'll give it to you." A small task, if you can successfully review twenty mathematics papers, I will upgrade your little home for you, how about it?"

Ning Wei said in a persuasive manner.

"Meow..." March, who had been lying there lazily, suddenly became energetic. He finally raised his body up with his limbs, tilted his head and looked at Ning Wei, then raised a small paw, pulled it, and directly opened the WeChat dialog box. Pulled to the top of its head.

"The guy who cheated on kittens wet the bed at night and was beaten by his mother!"

Look, look, my daughter has grown up and knows that when good things happen, she has to be sure twice...

It's just that this threat doesn't seem to be very lethal.

"Haha, March, isn't my credibility high enough? Have I lied to you before? You should think about how to do a good job in reviewing manuscripts. I will show you how to review the first manuscript, and I will do everything after that. No matter, come on, let’s see what the title of the first manuscript is, um, generalized operation matrix of mixed partial derivative terms and its application in multi-order fractional partial differential equations. The title is very important, it is about I can tell you the research direction of this paper. The second step is to look at the abstract..."