Tattooed Whales

Li Jiu Lu did not want to trouble him and rejected his offer. Chi Jian however, had already began to walk out with his cigarette and his jacket.

By the time Jiu Lu finished fixing her clothes, paid for the tattoo, Chi Jian was already sitting on his bike waiting for her.

The bike’s engine was already warmed up and its headlights had lit up the entire alley.

She took her time to get out of the shop and was about to put on her backpack. “It’s fine, it’s not that dark yet.”

“Give me your bag.”

Her movement froze for a second.

Chi Jian extended his arm and pointed at her back with his fingers. “Don’t let it touch your back.”

He took over the bag, rested its shoulder straps on the bike’s handles and readjusted his position. “Let’s go.”

Li Jiu Lu’s heart quietly skipped a beat as she stared at her bag on the bike. She suddenly remembered her father, who had done the same whenever he would fetch her from elementary school. In a similar fashion, he would also latch the shoulder straps on his bicycle’s handlebars and then carry her up the bicycle.

Her father used to wear a navy striped shirt and paired it with jeans. He also had a centre parting which would cover his eyebrows. He sometimes wore a pair of sunglasses; a look that used to be popular back then.

Sitting on the back, she remembered seeing her father’s wide back which covered the scenery in-front. She also recalled clinging onto his waist for support.

The brake bells would chime and her father would whistle full songs that were simply delightful to hear.

In that summer, whenever a breeze passed by, her hair would stick on her face, and her skirt would dance along her legs.

Whistles and cooling breezes; that was what she could remembered from that summer.

The bike soon made its way out of Bai Hua Road.

“Can you whistle?”

“Louder,” Chi Jian couldn’t catch what Jiu Lu was saying due to the wind.

They flew past Yu Ying High School in a blur; it was coincidentally the end of self-study and students were pouring out the school in groups of twos and threes.

Only after they entered another alley, did their surroundings sounder quieter.

“You were saying?” Chi Jian tilted his head.

“I was asking if you could whistle.”

“What’s so hard about that?” Chi Jian demonstrated his ability immediately, and his whistle sounded especially clear in the empty alleyway.

Li Jiu Lu unconsciously closed one of her eyes and rubbed her ears. “Not like that.”

“Then?”

Jiu Lu couldn’t whistle, but started to hum a song.

1Dear little girl, please don’t,
don’t cry, where is your home, I’ll bring you back,
oh, don’t be,
don’t be sad… …

This was the first time Chi Jian had heard Jiu Lu sing a song. As her voice carried the melody into his ears, he felt his body melting for a moment. Jiu Lu was holding onto the corners of his jacket for support, and it felt like the force pulling down his jacket somehow grew stronger.

The road ahead was straightly paved, and it was his first time, wishing that the alleyway would continue as it was; unending.

“This song, whistle it.”

There was no response.

“Can you do it?”

“… … I can’t.”

“Oh.” Jiu Lu was a little disappointed.

The motorbike stopped at a small grocer across the home. There was a lazy dog lying under the streetlight. Suddenly hearing some noises, it lifted his head but very quickly laid down again.

Chi Jian supported the bike with his leg and allowed Jiu Lu to step off.

“You’re not going to visit your grandmother?”

“Not today. I’m hungry, I’m going back to eat.” Chi Jian rubbed his stomach for effect.

Now that he mentioned it, Li Jiu Lu suddenly realised that he seemed to have not eaten anything despite worked for the entire day. The takeaway box in the shop was still untouched.

Feeling a little guilty, she thought for a moment. “Why don’t I….. treat you?”

Chi Jian’s eyebrows lifted for a moment. “To?”

“Up to you, anything’s fine.”

“I want to eat seafood.” Chi Jian didn’t hold back at all. “But, treat me another day. After the tattoo on your back starts to scab.”

“Alright. I’m going in then.” She took over her bag and carried it with her hands.

Chi Jian’s gaze fell, and it landed on the whale keychain on her bag. “Are you a good swimmer?”

“I can swim well.”

“Then let’s have a competition some day.”

“I’ve been training since young,” Jiu Lu smiled. “I don’t think you can win.”

Chi Jian raised his eyebrows. “You never know.” He then turned his bike, ready to leave. “Remember, you can only wash your tattoo with warm water after another 3 hours.”

“Oh.”

She walked across the road and didn’t turn her head.

Chi Jian shook his cigarettes, and bit a stick that jutted out. “Li Jiu Lu.”

Just as Jiu Lu was about to step inside, she turned around. “Ah?”

“What was the song you were humming earlier?”

“The little girl under the streetlight.”

Chi Jian froze for a second, lifted his head and saw a street lamp just right above where she stood, and his eyes gradually narrowed in warning.

“I’m not joking, that’s really the title.”

“Alright, go in.” He waved his hands irritatedly and lowered his head to lit his cigarette.

When he lifted his head, Jiu Lu was already gone, and the gigantic gate had obscured his line of sight into the home.

Chi Jian sat on his bike and stared. A circle of warm light could be seen on the ground, where Jiu Lu had just stood before. Chi Jian smoked, and tried to hum what he could remember of the tune.

A breeze blew past just then, and his jacket flew in the wind.

It seems, like there was really nothing in his life thus far that he so resolute to achieve.

When Jiu Lu opened the door, there was no one inside.

Dinner was already prepared and was set on the dining table; Jiu Lu only needed to warm it up before she could eat.

She carried her bag upstairs and could feel a burning pain every now and then on her back. After locking her door, she took out her test paper, and changed the scores like she had always done.

The maths teacher had a somewhat neat handwriting. As such, it wasn’t that hard to change ‘3’ to ‘8’. After changing the score, she moved the paper away from her and checked. It was good enough.

Jiu Lu was in the science route, but other than languages, she wasn’t good at any of the subjects.

If she hadn’t changed the scores, she would definitely be subjected to additional tuition classes, which was why she was at her wit’s end thinking up temporary fixes to hide her results.

Jiang Man did not come to find her that day, she only instructed a few words when Jiu Lu was eating before returning to her office.

When Jiu Lu went to shower that night, she remembered what Chi Jian had said, and lowered the temperature on the water heater.

Jiu Lu then wiped off the condensation on her mirror and tried to get a look of her tattoo. The contrast of the blue whale and pink flower petals really did bring out a indescribable sense of allure. Jiu Lu turned her head and admired the tattoo, seemingly liking it. Her fingers cautiously touched her skin and she felt parts where the tattoo were faintly uneven.

This tattoo, was about to become one with her skin, and become a part of herself.

Her sight moved up as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Suddenly, beside her, another reflection appeared – A reflection of him smiling, seemingly up to no good.

She didn’t know his name, and was even unable to pinpoint what sort of relation they had. Jiu Lu shook her head and quickly wiped away the condensation that had formed on the mirror. It was not appropriate to think of him at this time.

Now that she had her tattoo, shouldn’t telling Ma Xiao Ye be the first thing to do?

She wiped herself dry and stepped out of the bathroom.

The instant her call connected, Ma Xiao Ye’s mom answered, saying that he had went over to his classmate’s to study and has yet to return.

Jiu Lu didn’t call again. The impulse she had earlier had cooled and she no longer felt the urge to tell him. She decided to do so some other time.

Jiu Lu couldn’t sleep at all in the night; it was impossible to pretend the pain on her back wasn’t there whenever she turned. Irritated, she sat up on her bed and stared at her window.

The moonlight outside was shining palely but barely lit anything in the pitch black surroundings. It was quiet. She suddenly remembered a figure calling for her that night.

Jiu Lu shifted her focus elsewhere and she sighed tiredly. Her heart was divided between peace and chaos; she felt like was being tortured to death by her thoughts.

It felt almost as if the tattoo that was engraved into her bones was slowly undergoing a process to grow into the whale on her back.

No one told her if it was worth it at that time.

The next day at school, everyone was making theories about Mo Ke Yan. Some said that she had missed school as her father had finished the project and thus went back to Qi Yun Town with her.

Jiu Lu was not that interested initially. Even after the bell rang, the seat beside Ma Xiao Ye remained empty; Mo Ke Yan had not showed up for class.

Just then, their teacher walked into class and announced formally that Mo Ke Yan had transferred and went back to Qi Yun.

Chatters erupted among the students.

The teacher knocked on the blackboard for a few times and started his class.

Jiu Lu rested her chin on her palm and looked outside in a daze. Other than shock, she felt that her efforts had sort of been in vain. Other than that, she had no other thoughts on Mo Ke Yan’s transfer.

Ma Xiao Ye didn’t appear to be affected, but had became less busy. The two had seemingly returned to where they used to be; he would occasionally pick her up to school, have lunch together and went to the library whenever they were bored.

Neither of them brought up Mo Ke Yan, almost as if she had never appeared in the first place. Even their memories of her blurred with time.

Similarly, her tattoo underwent a process too. After it started to itch, her skin grew redder and finally began to scab. The scab fell off, and after a month later, the colour of the whale became much more natural than it was initially.

Jiu Lu had grown infatuated with it; it was a surprising outcome seeing as if had gotten it for Ma Xiao Ye. Yet, Jiu Lu never really told him about the tattoo.

In the last week of exams, Jiu Lu met Chi Jian again.

Chi Jian was free that day and had just left from visiting his grandmother. The sky was getting greyish by the time he left.

Following Wan Peng’s directions, he turned into another alleyway from Yi Fang Xiang Road. There was a audiovisual store somewhere there.

The store was hard to find and Chi Jian decided to walk on foot instead. He locked his bike and wandered around looking for the store.

In the end, instead of the store, he found someone familiar.

Though he was not that familiar, and Chi Jian has yet to speak with him. Just that, he had made a very deep impression that night in-front of the restaurant. If memory served him right, this person was Ma Xiao Ye.

Said person was currently hugging another girl and kissing her like they were inseparable.

The sky has yet to grow dark and Chi Jian recognised him right away.

The location the pair was standing in was a dead alleyway; there was nothing there save for some blocks of wood, cement boards and a couple of wilting trees to act as a cover. The pair was very immersed. As they kissed, his hands gradually slid down her shirt and went in it.

Kissing was like taking drugs; the first experience would eventually make way for the next, and after doing it multiple times, doing it one last time doesn’t seem like it would change anything. When Ma Xiao Ye didn’t tell Li Jiu Lu the truth, the wall between him and Mo Ke Yan broke through easily and everything became uncontrollable. Since it was uncontrollable, neither of them care and did as they wanted.

They were so immersed, that they didn’t realise someone else was there.

Chi Jian turned and walked away.

After another 2 turns, he finally found a plain looking store.

This was his first time in such a place, and hence he took the chance to look around as he removed his gloves.

The store was named Tong Da Audiovisual Company and was protected by a set of blue glass doors. On the doors was a label: Magazines, Novels, Movie Stars Posters, Cassette Tapes and New Movies.

He pushed the doors open, and a chime on the door sounded.

The store was very small and the items were arranged messily. Appearing from a pile of discs, the owner spoke up. “Looking for?”

Chi Jian, with his hands in his jacket, tried to remember the name as he looked about. “Looking for a cassette tape.”

He then turned to face the owner. “Called… The lady under the light?”

“… …”

“The little girl under the light?”

The owner tried to best to search for a similar title in his head. “The little girl under the streetlight?”

“Yes, yes, that’s the one.”

The owner smiled weakly and pointed to a stretch. “The shelf beside that wall, try looking there.”

There were a total of two rows of shelves in the shop. The first row faced the front door, and held various magazines and posters.

He walked back, stopped abruptly after passing the middle of the two rows and stood a few steps back.

“Li Jiu Lu?”

Jiu Lu was standing beside a shelf, reading a book the size of her palm. On the cover was a picture of a petite lady, and the title was called ‘Unreasonable… …’

Before he could read, Jiu Lu hid the book behind her.

Chi Jian straightened his head, smiled faintly and leaned on the side. “Your mom said you were at self-study in school.”

“Did you say anything else?”

“I spoke a little.” Chi Jian didn’t answer directly and tucked a hand into his pockets as he took out a novel from the shelf. “But what a coincidence, to see you here.”

Jiu Lu turned her head and returned whatever she was holding behind her and turned to the shelf of tapes.

“You come here often?” Chi Jian followed behind.

“Just for fun.”

“Is your tattoo healed?”

“Should be.” She paused, “I’m going swimming later, is that okay?”

Chi Jian carefully counted the days and nodded in silence.

“But it seems like the colour has faded.”

“That’s normal. No matter how good the quality of the ink, it can’t compete with the regeneration of new skin cells.”

“Will it fade and be unnoticeable?”

“No, not to that extent.” He answered half-hearted and frowned. He then flipped the pages of the book and narrated its content out.

“His gaze burned like a wild creature as his fingers forcefully grabbed her tiny face: ‘Woman, you’re playing with fire.’ He then kissed her, and licked… …”

His hands fell empty as Li Jiu Lu snatched away the book.

“What’s wrong? I wasn’t finished.”

“Lame.” Jiu Lu’s face flushed red.

Chi Jian smiled gleefully. “So girls like it when boys play rough?”

Li Jiu Lu rolled her eyes and walked further away, trying to pretend like he was just air.

Chi Jian turned in the opposite direction and walked around the shelf, back to her.

The store was playing Li Ke Qin’s2 《Unchanging in this Life》.

The song played softly in the background, but the lyrics could still be heard.

Worry and sorrow plays constantly,
Lost in the warmth and the cold,
My heart melts when my eyes meet yours.

… …

The old melody, accompanied with the hissing sounds of the cassette playing, circled about in the small store.

The lamp above them was dim. The yellowed walls, the unchanged cement floor, old magazines in the corner of the store; everything made it appear especially crude and aged.

Even so, the store still held hints of gentleness and warmth.

As his cold fingertips gradually warmed up, he realised he had fallen in love with this place.

He stared at her but she was focused only on the cassette tape in her hands.

She was still in her usual attire, carrying that heavy backpack, standing in-front of the densely arranged cassette tapes. She had seemingly been dyed with a similar aura as this place.

With his hands in his pockets, he spoke. “Li Jiu Lu.”

“Yeah?”

“You came by yourself?”

“Do you see anybody else in this store?” She replied softly.

“What I meant was, have you broke up with your boyfriend?”

Jiu Lu’s focus shifted away from the tape and glared at him.

“So you have not.” Chi Jian spoke confidently, with a hint of gloating.

“Did I do something to you? Why are you always cursing me?” She asked, frustrated.

“Nope.” Chi Jian walked a step closer and grabbed her wrist. “Come with me, I have a surprise for you.”

Before Jiu Lu could reject, she was dragged out of the store with the tape in her hands.

The owner took a few seconds to realise what was happening and came running out in his slippers. “Wait, you haven’t paid? Pay me… …”

Chi Jian was too fast and the owner’s voice gradually softened behind them.

It was cold, and Jiu Lu felt a shiver as the wind blew into the alleyway they were running in.

“Where’re you taking me?”

“Just a minute.”

Chi Jian was only in the store for a while but the sky had grew completely black by then.

Smells of various food from shops wafted about as they ran.

Whenever Jiu Lu tried to breathe, the air would fog up and it blurred whatever was in-front of her.

In that moment, Jiu Lu felt like she was living in an illusion; was she actually enjoying the thrill and exhilaration running to a place she didn’t know?

This boy in-front of her, had brought her all sorts of new experiences and emotions.

A unspeakable and foreign feeling welled up in the bottom of her heart.

Finally, the two arrived at a dead alleyway where she saw wood, wilted trees and some cement boards. Other than that, there was nothing.

After calming down for a few seconds, Jiu Lu caught her breath. She looked in-front and then to him.

Chi Jian blinked, froze for a moment and cursed under his breath.

“Fuck.”

1 – The song Jiu Lu is humming is called 《路灯下的小姑娘》, which literally translates to ‘The little girl under the streetlight’. It is sang by 邓洁仪 (Deng Jie Yi) and is actually a cover of Modern Talking’s ‘Brother Louie’.

Link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdJ9utT1RCc
Link to Brother Louie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp2qcCrdBLA

2 – 李克勤 (Li Ke Qin) or, Hacken Lee is a Hong Kong singer. The song referenced is called 《一生不变》or ‘Unchanging in this life’. It is sang in Cantonese.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvYU58NMUqc

For those interested, the lyrics in this chapter goes

忧忧戚戚循环不断

冷冷暖暖一片茫然

视线碰上你怎不心软