Tales From the Terran Republic

On Terra, Irene and Sascha were sitting at the bar of the "Fire and Ash", an "Old-Earth" bar favored by the OG crowd.

They were well into their third set of drinks and second plate of tapas, a little board of nibbles, and enjoying the pugilball game.

"Oh!" Irene exclaimed as a Black Raven's pugilstick (basically a reinforced lacrosse stick designed for beating people) sent a rival player flying. "That's gonna hurt tomorrow."

The Black Raven player drove the haft of their pugilstick downward into the chest plate of the downed player, to the delight of the bar.

"First melee!" the bartender shouted as chaos broke out on the field, "Second quarter, six minutes, fifteen seconds!"

Someone's name appeared with, "Winner! Second quarter, four minutes."

"So," Sascha laughed as he applauded along with the rest of the bar, "what did you have?"

"First quarter," Irene laughed. "Damn, son!" she exclaimed as a Red Knight's helmet shell cracked as a Black Raven's stick shattered over it. "I think they need to test that motherfucker. He has to be boosted."

Kallo looked away from the violence on screen and drew his spindly brown and amber shell-clad body in tight as he gathered empty glasses. The pure viciousness of the Terrans always frightened him…

… especially the old ones…

… and especially on game night.

He was unintentionally jostled by a cheering pink-haired woman who threw her arms back, nearly sending him sprawling as she lept chest first into a bald-headed muscular man with a long braided beard and crossed axes tattooed on the sides of his head.

As Kallo desperately tried not to drop the tub of mugs and glasses, he could see the same mark on the pink-haired woman's neck.

It was probably a tribal or clan marking of some kind, denoting their membership in one of the war clans that fought in the lawless ashes of a dying world.

Kallo had always wondered how someone could survive something like that. I mean, what would they eat?

He wished with every fiber of his core that he hadn't found out. The "Fire and Ash" was usually a cheerful place, almost manically so, but every now and then, late at night…

… The OG's would start talking and remembering the fallen.

Kallo hated those times. The sheer… horror of it all…

I mean, he thought they had it bad on his homeworld, but what happened here… By the False and the True Gods…

And pretty much everyone in this bar lived through it…

What did they have to do in order to achieve that?

He shuddered at the thought as he made his way into the dance room where people nearly two hundred years old stomped and writhed to music he had never heard before he came to work here. He was told that much of it was "folk" from during the wars and pre-Yellowstone stuff.

The lyrics could be awful!

He hated the dance floor most of all. On his world, the elders were serene and wise, filled with grace. Here, they were perhaps worse than the young cavorting with their fangs exposed (some with grossly exaggerated ones) in various states of undress, exposing sacrilegious artificial limbs and strange obscene devices implanted into their very flesh to prolong their already unnaturally long lives. He heard that some chose to age and pass as the False and the True Gods intended. Others, however, still clung to life, doing whatever it took to survive.

He once made the mistake of asking one of the 'Droids' why they profaned their flesh, and the answer would haunt him for the rest of his days.

The old woman smiled, revealing a skeletal titanium jaw and jeweled chrome teeth. Her bionic eye flashed a little "smiley face" at him. Most prosthetics were discreet and tasteful, as natural appearing as possible. The droids, however, abandoned any pretense and, if anything, enhanced and embellished their unnatural obscene forms.

"When they came for us," she said, her eye flashing a skull emoticon, "my mother told me to run and to live, not to just lay down and die, no matter what."

Her eye flashed a heart emoticon with the word "Mom" in it.

"So," she replied, "I have, and I will."

As Kallo stood there, absolutely horrified, she laughed.

"Besides, we 'droids' have a running contest now to see who can last the longest. Dredd is still in the lead, but when he croaks, it's anyone's game!"

Averting his eyes from what two of the 'droids' were doing in the shadows (sometimes he really disliked his low light vision), he quickly gathered the glasses, napkins, empty injectors, pill wrappers, and the like and rushed to the bar area.

He hated the 'garage' as the bar called it. Other people would dance sometimes, but it was dominated by the droids. After all, their legs worked better.

As he hurried back into the bar and dining area, a burly human drunkenly turned, causing Kallo to collide with him, sending both his beer and Kallo tumbling, scattering (shatterproof) empty glasses across the floor.

"Watch it!" the muscular young man with a sun and sword tattoo on his arm slurred, "You fucking xeno!"

"Stupid fuck can't even carry glasses!" one of his companions sneered.

"What the fuck are they doing here?" Irene muttered, reaching into her old-style armored waistcoat.

"Easy now," Sascha replied as he laid his hand on her arm. "We don't need to start any shit here."

"Sorry!… Sorry!" Kallo squeak-clicked as he started crawling around, trying to gather the glasses.

"What's that?" The first man asked with an ugly tone, "Speak Terran, you fucking cockroach!"

He kicked the glass Kallo was reaching for, sending it skittering across the floor.

"Sorry!" Kallo squeaked more carefully. He did have a problem with Terran vowels when he was stressed. "I will try to be more—"

Kallo squealed in pain as the second man stepped on one of his legs. Fortunately, he had plenty.

"Oops," the second man said with a sneer, "wasn't expecting a leg there."

The bar suddenly fell silent as all eyes fell on the pair, unfriendly ones.

"That's it!" Irene shouted as she rose, sending her bar stool tumbling to the ground.

She marched up to the pair putting herself between the two men and the rapidly retreating Kallo.

"Got a problem?" the first guy sneered.

"Yeah," Irene growled, "Kallo is part of this bar, and you ain't! This bar has an age limit, and you are about a hundred years shy of it. Go home to your mommy before you get hurt."

The guy flexed, showing his tattoo.

"Ooo," Irene sneered, "pretty. Did you get it out of a vending machine, or did your 'daddy' draw it on you when he was finished? I ran with the Tunnel Snakes! We ruled!... Whole Sol Wars... Ruled! I had a bigger 'movement' than yours this morning!"

"What the fuck are you assholes doing in here, anyway?" someone else yelled.

"They are with me," a grizzled old man replied. "I booked the upstairs for a 'heritage gathering'."

"Of course, you'd be in with those bitches," Irene snorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the old man shouted.

"Nom, nom, nom," Irene said, mimicking chewing on a rib. "I heard about you, asshole. All of you should have been sent to the cold dark with the rest of them!"

"Please," Kallo implored, "I'm fine, really. Please don't..."

"I'm sorry," the old man hissed, "what did you say?"

"Oh, sorry," Irene said in a patronizing voice. "Let me be more clear. I implied that you were a fucking cannibal and should have been sent out into the dark with all the other Porkies, you True Terran Nazi," Irene smiled, "both you and that cunt Patricia Hu. She was worse than any of them. She only got to stay because she sucked the right dick."

The crowd broke out into shouts as everyone started arguing with everybody. That particular issue was quite the sore topic. (Yeah, don't bring that up.)

Kallo backed into a corner, covering himself and cradling his bruised leg, completely overwhelmed.

"Well, at least The Phoenix got shit done!" the old man shouted. "She took the fight up there to the fucking raiders! She's exactly what the Republic needs right now!"

"She was a monster!" an old Asian man shouted. "You weren't in China! What that bitch did… We weren't afraid of the raiders. We were afraid of her!"

"Maybe you should have been afraid then!" the young man with the tattoo shouted. "Back then, the strong led the weak, just like Patricia Hu led the Phoenix, and when she casts out the weak, corrupt, xeno lovers that have weakened the Republic, we will return to—"

Irene smiled, and still smiling…

… booted the man in the nuts.

"Get up," she said. "Show your resolve."

The man just moaned and clutched his nuts.

She kicked him again.

"Show your resolve, get up, and face me," Irene said calmly. "This is what Patricia Hu did. Since it is 'heritage night' for you little fucks, here's some more heritage."

She kicked him again.

" Show your resolve!" she shouted.

His friends started to step forward but stopped as blades and pistols were pulled, and some very unsettling mechanical noises could be heard coming up from behind.

" Do you know what would happen if you didn't get up?" Irene shouted at the quivering mound of flesh in front of her, "They would strip you, divvy up your shit… pass you around..."

She leaned in close.

" AND PUT YOU IN THE FUCKING STEW POT!!!"

She kicked him again.

"You wouldn't be one of the 'leaders', boy," she growled, "You would be fucking meat! This is the 'proud heritage' you are asking for!"

"You're crazy!" the man shouted from the floor. "You're going to jail! "

"Wrong answer!" she shouted as she kicked him in the mouth, sending teeth flying. "In that 'glorious past,' there is no jail! There are no laws! There is only you and me! As far as today goes, I'm just fine with going to court and having you go on the record about how an old woman kicked your ass."

Kallo ran, screaming from the bar and out into the street.

She then stomp-kicked him again.

"Irene," Sascha said, "you are about to go to prison for real."

"I've lived a long life," she replied, "and it's about time we stop fucking around and just light this candle! I'm tired of waiting!"

She turned to the old man who was sitting there, glaring at her.

"So what about it," she snarled, "you as much of a pussy as your boy down there?" she asked.

He didn't say anything. He just glared.

"There's your mighty leader," Irene sneered to the group that was trying to look as invisible as possible, "He talks a good game and fills your head with bullshit, but if things really did return to the 'good old days', all of you would wind up exactly like he was back in the day, literally fucked up the ass. I remember him! He was no 'warchief'! He was their—"

The old man suddenly started to draw a pistol.

Thoom Thoom

Before the old man could get his pistol halfway out of his jacket, Sascha fanned the hammer of an arc-lock single-action revolver, belching out thick clouds of black powder smoke.

The old man fell.

Unfortunately, one of the True Terrans jumped just a little too fast. Maybe he was going for something. Maybe he wasn't.

It didn't really matter.

Gunshots filled the night as Kallo ran, screaming and weeping, down the street.

***

"This asteroid is perfect!" an Asian wearing an armored pressure suit said as he stood on top of a giant asteroid on the outer edge of the Kuiper belt. "I can't believe someone hasn't already snapped this one up!"

Yul'suk'vat, floating in a small pod that the Z'uush currently used instead of space suits, looked at his display curiously.

"Human friend, Chaing," he said, "this asteroid is pretty much pure silicate rock. There is nothing of value here. "How is this 'perfect'?"

"It's big and, more importantly, solid!" Chaing smiled. "We will be able to bore out some nice large airtight chambers in there. Oh, trust me," Chaing grinned, "This baby is about to become worth more than peridot iron! Let's go ahead and file our claim on this baby!"

"Why do we need airtight chambers this far out, Human friend Chaing?"

"Look, Yul," Chaing said with a sigh. "Things are starting to get a bit too unstable for many of our tastes. People are starting to get shot. Did you see the news last night?"

"I did, Human friend," the Z'uush replied, "it was very disquieting, especially since it was started over a 'xeno'. Friend Chaing," Yul'suk'vat asked quietly, "do we have any of those 'True Terrans' out here with us?"

"Not in our company," Chaing replied, "as far as we know, anyway. I'll be honest, Yul. We did lose a couple of people when we decided to hire you guys."

"You did?"

"Yeah," Chaing replied, "they claimed it was because they didn't feel you guys were 'safe,' but I don't think that was the real reason most of them left. They just didn't want skilled jobs going to non-humans, which is stupid because we need every single man we can get, no matter how many legs they got."

"Did you have concerns, Human friend Chaing?"

"I'll be honest with ya, Yul," Chaing replied, "I did have some concerns at first. We have the certificates and the training programs for a reason. As we both know, people die doing this. But you guys demonstrated proficiency and have proven yourselves time and time again."

"I'm gratified you chose to work with us, Human friend Chaing."

"Likewise," Chaing smiled. "Now let's get some more detailed seismic scans of this big beautiful baby!"

"I still don't understand what is so important about this asteroid. It's a pebble."

"Things are going right into the shitter in there," Chaing said, pointing towards the glowing point on his HUD that indicated the position of Sol. "As that lady on the news said, they are getting ready to light the candle."

"Light the candle?" Yul asked.

"I think you guys say, 'Switch the lights off.'"

"Oh, I see," Yul said thoughtfully, "And do you think this 'candle' is about to get lit?"

"Yes, Yul, I do," Chaing said grimly, "and that's where this lovely little pebble comes in. We are going to hollow it out and move our asses out here for a bit. We can set up some of our portable reactors, build some greenhouses… cut some really nice quarters, and make a nice home out of it."

He patted the asteroid.

"This pebble will be our stronghold till all of this bullshit blows over. We are going to move the office and all of our families out here until this whole thing is settled. Then, if we like it out here, we will stay. If we don't, we will move back inward… or just clear out of the Republic altogether. A Republic outfit like us will have no problem finding a home anywhere in the Empire."

"Do you think we will have to leave the Republic, Human friend Chaing?"

"I hope not," Chaing said with a sigh. "I really do."

He turned to the Z'uush's pod and slapped it in a friendly way.

"But," he said with a much more cheerful tone, "we can't control that. What we can control is our own happy asses and make sure our families are safe. The whole system could go Yellowstone, and we will be just fine out this far. We are going to be up and running very soon. This is our top priority, Yul. The boss says unlimited overtime."

"I like the sound of that," Yul said happily.

***

Kallo crouched miserably in an alleyway, holding his leg. He lived above the bar.

He couldn't go back there.

Irene was nice.

She was always kind and gave him headpats…

… and called him 'cricket'. It was a 'bug name,' but it was a 'nice insult' that friends give each other. It's a human thing.

But, in an instant, she turned… horrible…

He had learned how to read humans a little, and Irene…

… she was happy when she broke the mandible of that other human… broke it…

Kallo shuddered at the memory of the sound.

Is that what was going to happen here again? Was it going to go back to those days again? He had no way to leave!

Oh, False and True Gods, what was he going to do?

He knelt and started to pray, pray for help, pray for guidance, pray for someone, anyone, to hear him. Sometimes he prayed. Sometimes he just wept. He was completely and totally alone.

He just called out like a lost child.

As he wept and prayed, an auto-cab pulled into the alley and flashed its lights.

The door opened.

"Your Zipcab is here!" a cheerful voice announced.

"I… I didn't call for a cab," Kallo replied.

"Really?" the cab replied. "I'm certain you did. At least your app did."

He pulled out his phone and gasped.

Somehow, the Zipnet app was open! He must have fumbled it somehow.

"Your cab is here," the cab replied. "your verbal instructions were… confusing at best…"

What instructions? Kallo wondered.

Then it hit him. He had been praying.

"You mean what I was saying just before you pulled up?"

"Yeah!" the cab replied. "it was first disregarded as spurious input, as sometimes people accidentally trigger the app, especially if the phone is in someone's pocket. However, you kept repeating it, so Zipnet, the premier personal transportation solution, decided that it must be your desired destination. It took some figuring, but we at Zipnet, the premier personal transportation solution, are ready to take you there!"

The cab's headlights blinked happily.

"So, Kallo, hop aboard," the cab said cheerily, "your trip awaits!"

False and True Gods, is this your answer?

Kallo shrugged.

It didn't matter.

He had nowhere else to go.

With a silent prayer to the False and True Gods, he entered the cab.

"Welcome to Zipcab," the cab said happily as it backed out of the alley. "part of Zipnet, the premier personal transportation solution. We know where you are heading even if you don't!"

"What?!?" Kallo asked.

"I said," the cab replied, "Welcome to Zipcab, part of Zipnet, the premier personal transportation solution!"

"No, you said something else."

"I am certain I didn't," the cab replied cheerfully as the seats leaned back and reconfigured.

"Now try to get some rest," the cab said soothingly, "it seems that you have had a rough night, and perhaps a nap will help. I will wake you when we approach the next rest stop."

"Rest stop?!?"

"Welcome to Zipnet transport and conveyance, part of Zipnet, the premier long-haul cargo transport solution!"

The locks on the doors snapped shut, and the cab moved into the express lane as Kallo tried to open the door in vain.

***

The Prime Minister watched the news with a frown.

She then consulted the tablet in her hands.

The numbers were NOT good. Violent crime was up. The True Terrans, emboldened by Patricia Hu's supposed 'takeover,' were getting into actual shootouts with the populace…

… or, more precisely, the populace was shooting them.

It was a mess.

But that wasn't what had her concerned. It was the numbers.

Spending was dropping and shifting. She had learned not to worry when her people bought guns and ammo…

… but when they started buying seeds, you had a problem.

People were buying seeds. Fusion generators, already scarce, were simply not to be had. Theft was becoming a problem.

People were also leaving the inner solar system in droves, especially vital industry such as mining outfits where it was all too easy to set up housekeeping God knows where.

It was going to be a huge problem. For every ten companies that move to the outer solar system, two would likely stay where monitoring and control would be nigh impossible.

Those who weren't moving out were clumping up. According to the data she shouldn't have, family and tribe members were reaching out, even those who were estranged. Some were actually relocating to old turf. Others were choosing new gathering spots... and fortifying them.

She sighed and rubbed her temples.

Playtime was over. People were buying seeds.

It was time for Patricia to go away.

She picked up the phone.

"Prime Minister?"

"Schedule a press conference," she replied.