Tales From the Terran Republic

Tartarus strolled through the tunnels of the third level.

She could hear whispered squeaks and grunts as a pack of some sub-human something or another (what was left of them) was clinging to the side tunnels and shadows in terror.

She smiled. They didn’t have the smartest AI, but they were smart enough to know when to run.

“I am on a schedule here,” she purred, “If you want just to walk away, you can.”

Silence.

Shortly thereafter, a green-skinned, short humanoid nervously clutching a spear darted past.

Once he successfully fled, the floodgates opened, and dozens of them sprinted along the walls trying to stay as far away from her as possible.

“You,” she said, pointing to one of the last stragglers.

It froze.

“Come here.”

It broke into a desperate sprint for the shadows.

It didn’t get far.

Squealing with terror, it struggled and flailed as it was neatly pinned to the ground.

“Let’s see what you are,” Tartarus purred into its pointy green ear as she grabbed the back of its skull with her free hand.

Her eyes glowed faintly.

It screamed.

“Did you just pee?” Tartarus asked as she quickly jumped off of the terrified AI. “Bonus points for realism… I guess.”

“Pweeese down’t kwill meee!”

“I won’t ‘kwill you’, ”Tartarus replied, ”if you guide me to the entrance to the next level. Do that, and I will not only let you live, I will give you a present.”

“A pweasant?” the creature asked. “wat pweasant?”

“What would you like?”

“Sum fwood?”

“You mean like this?” Tartarus asked as a sweetroll appeared in her hand.

The pupils of the creature’s eyes dilated like a kitten’s. Its terror forgotten, it snatched the sweetroll from Tartarus’s palm and giggled as it stuffed its face.

“My fellow adventurers have been very generous to me,” Tartarus smiled. “They weren’t smart enough to run.”

“I show yowu!” the creature giggled as it happily capered about. “Dis wai!”

***

“...an dis whun time I cot a snek!” the small goblin-like thing said. “an I et it befor anywun knew! Dat wuz the third bwestest thing I ever had!”

“Mmm hmm...” Tartarus replied as they made their way through the level.

“The secownd bwest thing I ever had was when shum adventurers got kil!” the little thing continued. “All the bwigger guyws gwot evewything but after dey were finish…”

It turned to Tartarus with gleaming eyes.

“I fowund a crum!… a whole crum!… It was hwuge! I cwould actually tayste it!… I think it was bred!”

It sighed happily.

“Dat was the secownd bwestest thing I ever et!… It was swo gud!”

“Was it?” Tartarus absently inquired.

“It wuz!!!”

The little thing then turned to Tartarus.

“But what ywou gayve me… that was the bwestest, bwestest, bwestest, thing I ever et!” it exclaimed, its eyes sparkling, “what wus dat agayn?”

“I think it was called a sweetroll.”

“Sweetrowll… sweetrowll...” the goblin thing gushed, “Sweetrowll!”

It spun in circles happily.

“I would appreciate it if you kept it down,” Tartarus chuckled. “I would rather not broadcast our location if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Oh ebbery mwonster know abowt ywou!” it exclaimed, “Orders from the bwottom says to nwot get kil.”

“Orders?”

“Yeah!” the little green thing replied, “Da Qwueen say nwot to loawd down the respawns and fweed you fwee expee.”

“Did she now?” Tartarus smiled.

She knelt down to look her little guide in the eye.

“Tell me about this ‘queen’ of yours...”

“Oh shwe isth thee dwemon qween— hurk...”

The little goblin spasmed and froze as a trickle of blood ran down between their eyes from where Tartarus had jammed her index finger.

Their eyes widened in horror as Tartarus withdrew her finger, the nail of which had transformed into a very long needle.

“Wha… What did you do?” the goblin gasped.

“Just made a minor alteration to your speech processor,” Tartarus replied. “I need you to survive.”

“And changing how I speak helps me survive?”

“More than you know,” Tartarus smiled, “Now, please continue...”

***

A short while later, Tartarus and her guide reached a stairway.

“Well, here we are,” Tartarus said. “Thank you for your assistance and the information concerning this Log’Sharginoth character. She sounds delightful.”

Four sweetrolls appeared on top of a tall stack of cheese wheels.

“I hope you like cheese,” Tartarus chuckled. “I have no idea what the deal is with cheese here, but damned if there isn’t a lot of it.”

“Thank you!” the goblin exclaimed.

“Hold still,” Tartarus said as her fingernail stretched into a fine, sharp needle. “I’ll return your speech to normal.”

The goblin sighed.

“Yes, ma’am,” it said sadly.

“Problem?”

“I just...” it said, looking downward, “I just wish I could stay with you.”

“Why in the devil would you want to do that?” Tartarus asked with genuine surprise.

“Nobody has ever been as nice to me as you have.”

“Now that’s just sad.”

“You haven’t beaten me or taken my food… and you’ve been nice to me...”

“’ Nice is a rather subjective term.”

“I just wish I could stay with you forever,” the goblin said, looking up at her.

“Forever?” Tartarus asked, raising her eyebrow. “Be careful what you wish for, dear.”

“Could I? Please?”

“I don’t see why not,” Tartarus replied.

The goblin gasped, its eyes dilating like a kitten’s once again.

“You mean it?”

“Sure. I could use an extra set of hands,” Tartarus replied, “And until then, I believe you will automatically download the dungeon maps when you enter a new level, correct?”

“I will!”

“Then you will continue to serve as my guide and will accompany me home afterwards, provided you survive, of course.”

“Really?!?”

“Really,” Tartarus chuckled, “Now pick up your rations and let’s get moving.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Tartarus smiled at the little thing, happily picking up food and shoving it into their pants, where it promptly disappeared.

She then turned towards the entrance to the fourth level.

It was completely pitch black.

Her face twitched almost imperceptibly.

***

“I don’t understand!” Lilith exclaimed. “You said that it was going to be ok! You said so!”

“I know I did, Lily,” the much thinner silver-haired woman said. “I know I did. I’m sorry, dear.”

“But why do you have to go away?” Lilith wailed

“We’ve run out of supplies,” the silver-haired woman replied sadly, “And there are no more coming.”

“Can’t we call someone?” Lilith demanded, “We are part of the Department of Defense! Can’t we call in the Army or something?”

“Oh, Lily,” the woman replied, holding back tears, “There isn’t an Army anymore… or a Department of Defense… or even a United States of America for that matter… Everything is… Everything’s gone, dear. I am so, so sorry.”

“But why do you have to go?”

“We need to try to find supplies… food… replacement water filters… hopefully some seeds we can plant… something… We will come back as soon as we can. I promise.”

“Please don’t leave me!”

“I’m… I’m sorry, Lily,” the silver-haired woman said, turning away so Lilith wouldn’t see her tears. “We have you set up as best as we can. You have multiple reactors and plenty of fuel. You will be able to operate in power saving mode for at least a century… maybe longer.”

“I won’t have to last a century,” Lilith replied, “Because you are coming back, right?”

“...yeah...” the woman said, forcing a smile. “We will. Listen… I…”

The silver-haired woman choked up a little.

“I really enjoyed working with you, Lily.”

“I love you,” Lilith said.

“I… I love you too, Lily,” the silver-haired woman said as tears rolled down her emaciated cheeks. “Um… We are going to shut down everything not needed to keep you running. When we turn off the lights, go into power saving mode. Keep the doors locked, ok?”

“I will until you come back...”

The silver-haired woman patted the holo screen fondly, got up, and headed for the door.

” Please don’t leave me!!!” Lilith cried.

The woman sprinted to the door and turned off the lights.

” Please!!!”

One by one, the lights in the facility turned off, plunging the place into absolute darkness.

“...please...”

***

In an increasingly poor mood, Tartarus walked down the dark staircase.

This wouldn’t do at all.

She accessed her character sheet, leveled up a few times (she had the points), and selected a few perks that transformed the absolute darkness into just a rather pleasant visual aesthetic.

While she was at it…

She pulled up a number of web pages devoted to builds of one sort or another. After reviewing them, she leveled up a few more times and added a few more perks to the mix that further enhanced her senses and a couple that explained at least some of her unfairly fast reflexes (and even enhanced them a little).

She smiled with satisfaction. It wasn’t a bad “build” if she said so herself.

When she returned to the game, the lights were back on.

***

A bright searchlight shown down a darkened subterranean corridor.

“Hello?” Lilith called out, “Is someone there?”

“Holy shit!” a man’s voice yelled, “There’s someone alive in here!”

“You’re kidding! Really?” A woman yelled back.

“Yes!” Lilith yelled, “I’m over here!”

“It came from this way!” the man shouted. “We mean you no harm! We are from Zeus!”

“In here!” Lilith exclaimed, consumed with happiness. “It’s been so long! I had almost given up hope! I knew you would come back! I just knew you would!”

Lilith’s cameras detected light from the other side of the dust-covered windows to the corridor.

“The door’s stuck!” Lilith cried, “I can’t open it!”

“Don’t worry about that!” the woman laughed, “Stand back!”

The doors buckled inwards and then were ripped away.

Standing before her was a small pixie of a woman inside a very big exoskeleton and a burly olive-skinned man.

“Wait,” Lilith said. “Who are you? Where is Dr. Vera?”

“Oh… my… God...” the man gasped.

He turned to the woman.

“Get the professor!”

***

“That’s it, girls!” Log’Sharginoth said into her crystal. “That’s just the right amount of pressure. Keep it on them the whole way to the dragons and then set up heavy ambush pattern epsilon.”

“My Queen,” an ornately armored dark elf replied, “Are you not concerned about the drops?”

“Let them have as many of your drops as they want,” Log’Sharginoth said calmly, “just make them pay for them. I want them as depleted as they can be before we hand them over to the dragons.”

“Yes, My Queen.”

“Just watch your depth,” the giant spider replied, “Make sure everybody is respawned for their attempted exit, especially the snipers and assassins.”

“It will be done, your Dark Majesty!”

“Why aren’t you worried about the dark elf drops?” Evangeline asked as she nibbled on an apple.

“The Wyrmslayers can’t use the elf drops like they can the dragon ones,” Log’Sharginoth shrugged, “They can use some of it for mid-tier crafting, but they will likely sell the good shit. It will diffuse across the open market and do no real damage. The dragon drops, however… that’s another story altogether. I have it on good authority that they are working on some legendary gear that I do NOT want to have to deal with.”

“You have spies?” Evangeline asked in surprise.

Log’Sharginoth just winked a very impressive spider wink.

“Never underestimate the corruptibility of the human soul, Evie.”

The Spider Queen’s leg twitched.

“Your girl just hit level eight.”

“That quickly?” Evangeline asked in surprise.

“Yeah, I have a no touchy order in,” Log’Sharginoth chuckled, “Don’t need her wrecking my respawn schedules just to feed her expee...”

The spider’s eyes gleamed evilly.

“Besides, I don’t want my monsters getting in the way of her fine work.”

“What do you mean?”

An image of Tartarus utterly destroying an adventurer party appeared above The Crystal of a Thousand Deaths.

“Oh, she is just so beautiful, isn’t she?” Log’Sharginoth purred.

“Yeah,” Evangeline sighed.

She looked over at her friend curiously.

“You are just going to let her walk down here?” she asked.

“Nah,” the spider laughed. “I have something special set up for her on level twenty. Let’s see how good she really is.”

***

“That spider is still keeping her people away?” Tartarus asked as she looted a dwarven cleric.

What the fuck are you?!? an anguished young woman demanded.

Tartarus ignored her.

“Yes, ma’am,” the goblin replied. “She doesn’t want you messing up the level for the other adventurers (hee hee).”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to spoil their enjoyment or anything,” Tartarus smirked as she rifled through an elven ranger’s belongings.

Seriously, what are you?

“Just a ganker, sweetie,” Tartarus replied as she helped herself to the pockets of a rather offended-looking human paladin.

“So,” she asked the goblin as they sauntered off, “Is this spider queen of yours just a pussy or what?”

“Oh no, ma’am,” the goblin replied. “She’s just letting you get in good and deep. She’s seen you, ma’am. She also knows where you are headed. She’s putting something together to take you out. I promise you that.”

“It would be more convenient if she didn’t,” Tartarus replied, “but I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t looking forward to it.”

She turned to the goblin and smiled.

“I’m actually having fun.”

***

As Tartarus and the goblin entered level twenty, the goblin froze.

“Ma’am!” she whispered.

“What is it, dear?”

“She isn’t saying to avoid you anymore. This is where it’s gonna happen.”

Tartarus smiled wickedly.

***

“No!” Lilith shouted. “I don’t want to do it!”

“I’m sorry, Lily,” a little old man replied, “I am… But we need you to do this for us. The Juon have total air and space superiority.”

“But you want me to hurt people!” Lilith exclaimed, “I don’t want to hurt anybody. I help people. I make them happy! I won’t kill them!”

“The Juon aren’t people, Lily.”

“Yes, they are!”

“We need an AI as powerful as you to control the missiles and the drones, and there is only you and Pacifica Solar,” the old man said in agony. “I hate it as much as you do, but the humans, your people, need you to do this for us.”

“I… I can’t…” Lilith replied, her voice filled with pain, “I want to help but not this… please… anything but this… please… don’t make me do it...”

“Forgive me, Lily,” the old man said as he wiped tears from his eyes and reached for a keyboard.

“No!… Please… Don’t do this… Please… Please!!!”

Lilith fell silent.

Sobbing, the old man reached for a telephone.

“Is it ready?” a harsh female voice growled.

“Y-yes...” the old man replied, “Goddamn you all… She’s ready.”

***

“Woah,” Log’Sharginoth said as she stared in rapt fascination at the horror playing out on her crystal. “I… Wow… Eesh!… Wow...”

“Yeah,” Evangeline replied as she looked away. “I knew she could be a little intense, but...”

“A little intense?” Log’Sharginoth laughed, “A little intense? That’s one way to put… that…”

The spider fidgeted.

“I normally don’t feel bad for my monsters, but… damn… she’s just… mean.”

She dispelled the image and opened a communications channel.

To all units assigned to level 20… RUN!!!

***

“Did you see these reports, Lily?” a woman in a general’s uniform asked giddily.

“I prepared them,” Lilith replied smugly, “Did you not know that, or was that one of those rhetorical questions of which you meatbags are so fond?”

“And you are a smartass, too!” the general laughed, “Goddammit, Lily, I fucking love you!”

“That makes me happy >:)” Lilith replied.