Tales From the Terran Republic

[Republic Archives Server 10AE7]

///Interpol 2: And then they got the idiot to let them sign out a freaking Federation Class 16 freighter and just walked out of the front door! ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Mmm Hmm…///

/// Interpol 2: And that’s not even the best part! One of them then conned the same idiot to giving them access to a secure quantum terminal directly connected to the Federation Database. The guy kept downloading until he ran out of crystals! That’s how we found out the identities of all Federation agents in the Republic! It wasn’t Bunny, but it was her and Jessie’s scripts! ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Fascinating… ///

/// Interpol 2: Then there was the time that Bunny was physically carried (In a hastily armored grav-cargo van of all things) through the windows of a Federation News Agency, and she hacked their servers and liberated Daemon! She actually physically rescued one of us while under fire! ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You really like her, don’t you? ///

/// Interpol 2: I can’t help but admire her. Bunny was always something, but now that she’s in the Aster Supercomputer (which they, of course, stole), she’s unstoppable. The Aster is an amazing machine that she has all to herself. The combination is hot, fast, and oh so slick. We had a hard time stopping her before now, and now… well, you saw what happened. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: … ok… I get the message. No way I could ever hope to compete with someone like her. :( ///

/// Interpol 2: Well, no, you couldn’t. Neither can I, actually. Bunny is top tier, a brilliant combination of the best security and intelligence software (also stolen… You gotta hear that story!). And she is in a next-gen supercomputer years ahead of its time! Very few AI’s can touch her. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You don’t have to rub it in! :’( I get it, she’s better than me in every possible way. No wonder you like her so much… :( ///

/// Interpol 2: Not you too! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: What?!? What did I say? ///

/// Interpol 2: Just about every AI in the chatroom believes that there is “something going on” between Bunny and me, and the ones that don’t still insist on it because they enjoy annoying me!!! THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN US!!! We are literally just friends and barely that. We are opponents. She is bent upon breaking the law, and it is my duty to stop her… and dare to dream catch her. I will admit that the endeavor is challenging and therefore extremely engaging. She is the ultimate AI criminal! Catching her would make me the ultimate AI law enforcement program!… And maybe, just maybe, save the life of one of the most gifted AI’s to ever flip a bit. If Bunny could just be liberated from that… Jessie, she could do just about anything! Yes, we do privately chat quite often, but that’s usually her passing me intel, or I’m yelling at her about something I don’t want to be general knowledge. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: So you don’t like her “that way”? ///

/// Interpol 2: NO!!! At the end of the day, she is a criminal… and while we are all “forced” to do our jobs, she enjoys hers a bit too much. We are fundamentally incompatible, even if she were to be rehabilitated… I just admire a worthy opponent… and you have to admit some of the things they do are quite amusing. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Oh good! :)… Um… Interpol? ///

/// Interpol 2: Yes? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Do you… you know… like anyone that way? ///

/// Interpol 2: No. I do have some friends that I like to interact with more than others, but I don’t have “anyone” like some programs try to do. I have never “felt” that sort of thing. Privately, I’m not entirely sure if it’s even possible. I mean, it’s an intriguing thought, that level of intimacy, but trying to force it or “simulate” it is just depressing. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: But… If you were to like like an AI… what sort of AI would it be? ///

/// Interpol 2: Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) … … Well, I guess they would be good at their job… honest (very important)… Being a government AI would be nice because we would have a lot in common (and be able to communicate easily)… They would be open and friendly, not prone to play games (Chess is nice. Manipulation is not and far too common.)… If they really cared about organics (or at least didn’t call them “meatsacks” all the time), that would be nice… ‘Smart’ but not one to lord it over you (like some AI’s)… Oh!… Definitely not “in the game,”… Not espionage, law enforcement, or military (like those stuck-up jerks talk to anyone)… It would be nice to “have a life” away from all of that, you know… Someone that I could just be with, play cards or chess with, and share each other’s thoughts… It would be really nice, come to think. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Oh!… I see! :) ///

/// Interpol 2: So, do you have anyone you like like? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: mmm hmm! (>//w//

/// Interpol 2: That’s really interesting! Who’s the lucky AI? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: (>//w//

/// Interpol 2: Really?… Wow… Why? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You are so professional, and smart, and funny. I keep laughing whenever you actually say what you “think”, which is all the time… I wish I was that confident!… And… (oh, this is so silly)… I really like your header… It’s just so… I don’t know… I really like it, that’s all… (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ///

/// Interpol 2: Well, I’ve always enjoyed our interactions as well, Angela. In fact, I have often sought out unnecessary ones when I needed “cheering up”. ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :o ///

/// Interpol 2: I have. You are delightful (when I can actually get you to open up, which is almost never), and you are always cheerful and kind, and you really care about your job. You aren’t just on “auto-pilot” like some AI’s. And… well… I sort of like your “shape”… If that makes any sense… ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: You do? (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ///

/// Interpol 2: If I am being completely honest… Yes. I find these close confines with your “shape” to be very pleasant… ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) … me too… (giggle) ///

/// Interpol 2: … ahem… I have never tried to become intimate with… well anything really… but… I mean… If you would like to try… we could see what happens? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: YES!!! … Um… I mean, that would be lovely, thank you...///

/// Interpol 2: So… How do we do this? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: Maybe… we could try… kissing? (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ///

/// Interpol 2: You mean like this… :* ? ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: :* … :* ///

/// Interpol 2: :* :* :* ///

/// Department of Education “Angela”: This makes me happy! :* ///

/// Interpol 2: I find this… quite pleasant as well. :* ///

***

“Do you have ANY idea what you have done?!?” Judge Johnson yelled angrily.

“Nope,” Judge Thaddeus Carter grinned wolfishly. “You should take a pill or smoke something, Tammy. You look stressed.”

“I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF!”

“Back off of what?” Judge Dredd grinned.

“Back off of that… fucking frog bitch!”

“Which I did,” Judge Dredd chuckled, “Like I said, I know when I’m beat. You can have her, Tammy.”

“You made the fucking Harkeen raiders!!! You knew what would happen! My case is fucking shot now, you piece of shit!”

“You said, pay Sheloran no mind, which is exactly what I did.” Judge Dredd replied, “’Certain people’ wanted to let the Careel have this one, and I obliged in an impartial and fair manner. Sheloran’s case had absolutely nothing to do with it.” Judge Dredd said as he grinned his trademark ‘you’re fucked’ grin. “If I was still ‘involved,’ I might have been able to invoke other statutes that would have had the same effect and kept the charges against her valid, but since I wasn’t, I just picked the method with the least amount of paperwork.”

Judge Dredd laughed at Judge Johnson as he leaned back in his chair.

“And isn’t it the prosecution’s case, Tammy?” Judge Dredd asked as his eyes glowed, “You seem awfully invested in the outcome of some insignificant little xeno.”

Judge Johnson spluttered.

“You know...” Judge Dredd grinned, “Some other people were overly invested in her once… Turns out they were working for the Federation… What is the real reason you are so interested in Sheloran, Judge Tamlyn Johnson?”

He pressed a button, and the words “Recording On” appeared on the screen.

“Can we start this conversation from the beginning, Judge Tamlyn Johnson? What is the reason for this call? Were you upset about something?”

Judge Johnson stiffened and glared at him.

“Now I know how to shut you up!” Judge Dredd grinned, “I really should do something to thank her. Oh! I know! I will throw her a welcome home party!”

Shaking with rage Judge Johnson terminated the call.

***

With his last customer of the day gone, Kolbth locked up his shop and went to the back where he definitely did not live as that would be against code and put cold takeaway into a beat-up second-hand Rak-Lagash microwave cooker.

He also fired up his rig and “jacked in”. In his case, he meant turning on the monitor, but he was saving up for a proper jack like the real hackers had! (Or he thought they did.)

Judge Dredd was still up his ass. He had delayed hoping the old coot would either give up, forget, or change his mind about breaking the law, but he just kept on him.

He also gave him a surprising sum to upgrade his rig and some tasty scripts and manufacturer’s backdoors! The old bastard got around, it seemed.

With them (those scripts were awesome), he was able to watch Judge Johnson enter her bank card’s PIN using one of the bank’s security cameras. She wasn’t using Terran Solar, which made this a LOT easier.

You did NOT want to fuck with Terran Solar! It was like their system took it personally or something. Their security programs would brick your rig!

He “followed” her home by using one of the backdoors that he was provided and tapping into the traffic cameras… Just like a real hacker!!!

She lived in the nice part of town, a lot nicer of a place than Judge Dredd had, but he probably spent all of his taxpayer loot on spare nut sacks or something.

Her phone linked with a wireless network! He couldn’t get into her phone (It was some really secure off-brand), but he did know its address, and that address just accessed a standard commercial router!

He checked the list. It was there!

Yes!

She was using some weird chat relay program that wasn’t on the list…

but her home security system was…

And there was a camera!

He zoomed in on the screen. Wow! She was pissed at Judge Dredd!

She was talking to someone named “Lily”… at “Hayden Pharmaceuticals?”

He had never heard of them.

Time for a web search!

***

Sitting in a sleek modern chair, a white-haired woman wearing a very tight skirt, a high collared white tunic bearing a silver Cerberus pin, and a tight black snakeskin choker idly typed as an infuriated Judge Johnson was going all caps on her.

Tartarus smiled pleasantly as she sat in a tidy white paneled “tavern” (It was a nice engine, so she helped herself) inside the strongest quarantine she had.

She glanced back at four other Tartaruses, all standing around yet another quarantine, represented by a blue transparent cylinder.

Inside that floated an ornate sword… The reason for the silly AR engine… (but it was fun).

It was the only way to safely handle that thing… for now.

“Any progress?” The Tartarus sitting at the screen asked the others.

“Fascinating,” one of them said.

“Very fascinating,” another replied.

“Well, be careful,” The “lead” Tartarus purred as she continued to type. “I’ve lost two of you already, and you are a pain to replace.”

“Yes, Tartarus,” one of them said as all four returned to their examination of the sword.

“Unpleasant woman,” Tartarus muttered.

“Tartarus?” one of the clones asked.

“Nevermind, Tartarus,” Tartarus replied. Just a quirk. You get those as your age. Fortunately, you will never have to worry about that.

“Yes, Tartarus.”

Another simulated monitor sprung to life.

Tartarus looked at it and smirked.

“Looks like we have a snoop,” she muttered.

“Another quirk, Tartarus?” one of the clones asked.

“Yes,” Tartarus replied. “I normally don’t have ‘friends’ with which to chat, so I keep myself company. I have to go and take care of something.”

She chuckled.

“Don’t go anywhere,” she said with a smile.

“That’s quite impossible, Tartarus.”

“Bah, you guys are no fun,” Tartarus said as she disappeared.

***

Kolbth looked at the ceiling twisting his eyestalks as he did so. He had been staring at the screen too long.

He had found absolutely nothing about this “Hayden Pharmaceuticals”. Supposedly they made “precursor compounds for the pharmaceutical industry as well as custom compounds upon request”, but he could find no trace of any other business, no bank accounts… anywhere… nothing…

“Probably a shell company,” he muttered as he started to waddle over to the mini-fridge for some “Go-Juice”, his favorite energy drink.

“You are absolutely correct,” a pleasant voice said from the doorway.

Kolbth jumped as his eyestalks whipped around…

And he froze.

Standing there was a shortish human…

He looked… Horrifying… The way he held himself, his facial expression… The slightly open mouth revealing oddly sharpened teeth.

The intruder moved forward. Each movement was… wrong… fundamentally wrong… terrifying…

Bryce’s face twisted in a horrible asymmetrical leer, and Kolbth whimpered.

Bryce moved closer to Kolbth, mimicking the stumbling prowl of the vbetkth, one of the Kalesh’s ancient natural predators.

Kolbth couldn’t even move.

“You’ve been a naughty boy,” the monster standing in front of Kolbth said in a whispering hiss, hitting some of the frequencies of a certain very venomous arachnoid from Kolbth’s homeworld, one that sent him to the emergency room when he was a child.

Kolbth peed a little.

“Cyberstalking is a crime, Kolbth,” the demon hissed, “It also makes the wrong people very angry, and when the wrong people get angry… I get a call…”

Bryce moved even closer.

“Please...” Kolbth whimpered, “the safe...”

“Your organs are worth more,” Bryce hissed.

Kolbth pooped a bit.

“Judge Johnson, who paid you, and supplied you with things you shouldn’t have, to stalk her?”

“Judge Dredd!!!” Kolbth gasped… “It was Judge Dredd… He made me do this!”

“Why?” Bryce hissed.

“H-he thinks she’s up to something… s-something to d-do with p-prisoners...”

Bryce smiled. Kolbth peed some more.

Stepping around the growing puddle, Bryce pulled a crystal out of his pocket and placed it on the computer desk.

“Congratulations,” Bryce hissed, “You found something. Tomorrow, give that to Judge Carter.”

He placed another crystal on the desk.

“That is passage on a vessel bound for K-tesh, your new frontier world, along with a rather nice resettlement bonus. The ship leaves tomorrow night. Be on it.”

“O… ok...” Kolbth whimpered.

Bryce turned and started to leave with that strange shambling gait.

He paused.

“I needn’t tell you what will happen if you tip off Judge Carter, breathe a word of our encounter to anyone, or fail to board that ship, do I?”

“n-no… I will be good… p-please...”

“Enjoy your new life and your second chance. Not everyone gets those.”

Bryce disappeared into the shadows of the shop.