Sleeping Scholar of the Forest

My Future is Yours Alone

The bus stopped in front of the hospital. Shuuji Shiraishi got off, along with a number of other passengers.
It wasn’t that he was ill. He was here to meet Koutarou Seno, who worked here. It was faster for Shuuji to come meet Koutarou here than it was for him to wait for Koutarou to get home, so whenever the two of them went out for a date, it ended up being at the hospital. Today, too, they were going to wait until Koutarou was done with work, and then go out to a movie.
They always arranged to meet at whatever time the bus was scheduled to arrive, so Shuuji never had to wait long. Usually, Koutarou was waiting for him already when he got off the bus, but today was different.
Shuuji spotted Koutarou talking to a couple of young women. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about from here, but although the girls were smiling, Koutarou’s profile was expressionless.
“When your lover is popular, your worries are endless.”
Suddenly, he could hear a bantering voice from beside him. He knew who it was just from the voice, and when Shuuji turned, Nagasaki’s smiling face was standing there.
Nagasaki was clearly referring to Koutarou’s current situation, so Shuuji responded without much regard for time or place.
“Even though he hardly meets with anyone?”
“Hardly anyone isn’t no one. People still catch sight of him, even shut up in the meeting room like that. People can see him there, you know.”
“And so it ends up like this?”
He didn’t mean to blame Nagasaki, but seeing Koutarou brought to a halt like that did bring an unintentionally chilly note to Shuuji’s voice.
“Listen, it bothers me, too. I feel like he’s gotten so stylish lately, he looks like another person, you know? I get random gangs of ladies who figure out I know him and start pestering me about who is he, and can I introduce them to him,” Nagasaki answered, smiling wryly. This was a country hospital, so maybe Koutarou’s appearance stood out too much. It wasn’t unreasonable for women to get excited over him.
“Those women are like that, too?”
“Nah, those two didn’t come to me. They’re young, they’ve got enough self-confidence for a direct attack,” Nagasaki said admiringly, as he watched the women.
Both of them were probably in their mid-twenties. They were very different from each other, but quite beautiful, and stylish too. Shuuji nodded at Nagasaki’s comment about their self-confidence.
“The ones who come talk to you, Mr Nagasaki, I assume you refuse them all?”
“You are worried after all, then?” Nagasaki asked, calmly.
“Or maybe you just don’t want to cut into Koutarou’s working hours?”
“It’s a bit of a surprise, but I think maybe you’re happy about it?”
“Is that what this looks like?” Shuuji answered back, and just then, Koutarou must have realized they were looking at him, because he suddenly turned towards Shuuji. In that instant, Koutarou’s blank face gained an actual expression. Koutarou started to smile, and came over to Shuuji at a fair clip. He didn’t even glance at the women, who were still talking about something.
“You’re early, huh,” Koutarou said, looking straight at Shuuji, and only at Shuuji.
“Same time as usual.”
“Oh, I see.” Shuuji’s response seemed to have reminded Koutarou that he’d been captured.
“What did those girls want?”
“Mm…” Koutarou tilted his head like he was confused. “I couldn’t really understand what they were saying. I mean, I know they asked what kind of relationship I had with Mr Nagasaki, but…”
The women had probably mentioned Nagasaki’s name in an attempt to find out Koutarou’s background. But Koutarou being Koutarou, he didn’t have any idea why some women he’d only just met would ask him something like that. Koutarou was indifferent to other people’s emotions, except for Shuuji, so he often didn’t catch the meaning behind direct invitations, nevermind the round-about approach.
“Maybe they decided to ask because they wanted to get to know you,” Nagasaki inserted himself in the conversation, not content to simply listen.
“Mr Nagasaki. When did you get here?”
Koutarou noticed Nagasaki for the first time, and finally turned his gaze to him.
“I’ve been here. From the beginning,” Nagasaki answered, looking dumbfounded.
“My apologies. I didn’t see you.”
“So no one but your lover even comes into your field of view?”
“Yes. If Shuuji’s there, I can’t see anyone but him,” Koutarou answered, with an earnest look on his face, which only made Nagasaki more shocked.
Koutarou had no shame. If he did occasionally hesitate to speak the truth, it was only because he was seriously thinking it over.
“So you’re just always this lovey-dovey. Incredible,” Nagasaki said admiringly, looking back and forth between Koutarou’s face and Shuuji’s. However true that might have been, Shuuji’s heart wasn’t so strong as to have it pointed out by a third party and be able to talk back. Shuuji wasn’t saying anything, so in his place, Koutarou opened his mouth.
“What part of that is incredible?” Koutarou was seriously asking, and Shuuji couldn’t help but smile wryly. Nagasaki looked over at Shuuji for an instant, and seemed to be rethinking his ideas about whether Koutarou was even a human being.
“If it were me, I couldn’t just act like nobody was even looking at us.” He said it in a joking tone, but the man was telling them his actual opinion.
“That’s because you haven’t met the one you’re fated to be with yet, Mr Nagasaki.”
“You’re pretty smooth with those embarrassing one-liners.” Nagasaki put his palm to his face, to say that it was embarrassing just to hear such things. Shuuji was embarrassed again too, and averted his gaze. It was pretty obvious who Koutarou thought his ‘fated person’ was, even without asking.
There was no waffling in Koutarou’s words. It was proof he wasn’t lying or trying to deceive anyone. No matter how popular Koutarou got, or why, there was no need for Shuuji to worry or get uneasy.
“I get it, I get it. From now on, if anybody asks, I’ll refuse them, and tell them you’re heavy on with your lover.”
“Yes, please do.”
Nagasaki’s words had been directed at Koutarou, but it was Shuuji who answered, and Koutarou looked at him, curious.
“Alright, later then.”
In the end, Nagasaki strode off without ever explaining why he’d even been there in the first place. His appointments should all have been over, but he didn’t seem to have finished working.
“What were you talking about?” Koutarou asked, as they both watched Nagasaki’s retreating form.
“About how you’ve been so popular lately,” Shuuji said, and summarized what he’d heard from Nagasaki.
“Oh I see,” Koutarou said, just to keep the conversation going, like it was someone else’s affair entirely. It had just occurred a few scant moments ago, but he acted like he didn’t have any interest in it at all. “Well, it’s not just with those girls, I’ve always been popular, you know.”
“When was that?”
Shuuji asked, surprised that there were things even he didn’t know about Koutarou. Once Koutarou relaxed, it wouldn’t be weird for him to be popular, but Shuuji had never once heard any such thing from Koutarou himself.
“After I met you, Shuuji, right through till today,” Koutarou answered, grinning. “I’ve always been popular with you, Shuuji.”
Koutarou’s smile brought one out on Shuuji’s face, too.
As far as Koutarou was concerned, Shuuji was the only partner whose attention he wanted to attract, and because Shuuji felt the same about him, the result was, he’d become popular.
“I’m fine with whatever, but aren’t we going to be late for the movie if we don’t get going?” Koutarou said, feeling happy just to chat with Shuuji, but still prompting him, as his legs weren’t moving at all.
“Oh yeah. We still have a little time, but we can’t stand around here just chatting, huh.”
When Shuuji walked off, Koutarou started walking too, staying beside him. They’d have to take the bus to get from the hospital to the movie theater, so they talked it over as they walked, and decided to head to the bus stop.
“If I was popular, would that bother you, Shuuji?”
When they reached the empty bus stop, Koutarou asked his question like he’d just remembered it.
“Not really bothered exactly…”
“But didn’t you tell Mr Nagasaki earlier to refuse them?”
Koutarou had overheard the conversation without really knowing what it was about, but he could still point out inconsistencies.
“I’m not bothered, I’m not even worried really, I’m just a little jealous.”
It was embarrassing to admit to his own honest feelings, and he ended up speaking quickly. But Koutarou never thought anything was embarrassing, and didn’t notice.
“You’re jealous, Shuuji?”
“Is that weird?”
“Yeah. You don’t need to be.”
The words that came in reply from Koutarou made a smile slip from Shuuji’s mouth. It was exactly something he thought Koutarou would say.
“I was reborn and I still fell in love with you, Shuuji. In other words, I like you on a cellular level. Liking anyone but Shuuji isn’t really something possible for this body, right?”
So many years had passed since they started going out, but Koutarou confessed such a passionate love even now. He was constantly telling him that worry and jealousy were pointless.
“In that case, me too.”
Shuuji was looking away, but he put his feelings for Koutarou into words. Koutarou knew it already, but he had to say it anyway. “No matter how cool you get, even if you’re uncool, I think I’ll always love you like this, Koutarou.”
Shuuji conveyed his feelings carefully, choosing his words. It wasn’t just that they’d decided not to hide things from each other, he wanted to make Koutarou feel the same happiness he did.
A smile that couldn’t be any happier spread on Koutarou’s face. That alone brought so much joy to Shuuji, that he almost started crying.
“It’s okay even if I get old?” Koutarou asked, just confirming it, still smiling.
“I’ll get old, too, so we’ll be doing it together, right?”
“You won’t change, even if you do get old, Shuuji. You’ll still be the Shuuji I love. I guarantee it,” Koutarou declared, full of self-confidence.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’ll always love you, that’s how.”
Koutarou’s feelings never changed, even when the actual eyeballs that were looking at him had, so it followed that Shuuji would always be the one he liked. If someone else had talked about eternal love or whatever, it would stink of lies, but only Koutarou made it sound like the truth.
Shuuji wanted to go somewhere right now where no one could see them, hold Koutarou tight, and be held tight. Stolen over by a storm of emotions, Shuuji stared hard at Koutarou, trying to convey those feelings.
The bus stopped in front of them. It was the bus headed to the movie theater. But Koutarou nodded at Shuuji as he stared at him, and took Shuuji’s arm and walked away. It was a taxi stand that would get them to their destination, not a bus stop.
Koutarou selected the fastest way to get them home, to the apartment where the two of them lived together. It gave Shuuji a sense of his irresistible love, and made him feel how reliable those broad shoulders were.

– – –

Afterword

Good afternoon, pleased to meet you. I’m Ioka Itsuki. Thank you indeed for picking up “Scholar of the Sleeping Forest” this time.

This story is one I’ve wanted to write for quite a long time now. Years passed and I just wasn’t blessed with the right opportunity… I’m filled with so much emotion to be able to finally write it like this.
I tried to change the uke character a little, from when the first section was published in a magazine. As a result, I feel like the relationship between the two of them has become easier to convey. I’m wondering if people who’ve already read the magazine version will read this with fresh feelings, as those who never read the magazine version of course will.

To Koyamada Ami who drew the illustrations, thank you so much for these two wonderful people. This confident looking man who’s actually a delicate uke is so in line with how I’d imagined him that I was quite moved.
To the editor who graciously began working with me starting with this book, you have been a huge help. Thanks to your accurate advice, I was able to cleanly untangle my mess of a head.

And so, in the end, once more, to those who have been so kind as to pick up this book, please accept my greatest thanks, I am grateful.
2017 January Ioka Itsuki