Silent Confession

Silent Confession – Ch.30 – “I killed my father when I was eighteen.”

Warning: Mention of blood, assault, murder

           Xin Yi is a kid that has been bathing in sugar since he was little, with doting parents, and friends’ companionship, he was accustomed to things going smooth sailing, never encountering any hardship, until he met Zhou MuHui, and started to be sad. 

           Zhou MuHui is the person who made his heart swayed ignorantly and enlightened him, and he is also the culprit that made him worry about personal gains and losses.

           Him being scared of Zhou MuHui’s departure is something engraved in the marrow of his bone, when the other party took out that card, telling him that they were quits, Xin Yi didn’t even have the time to think about it, that one million were like something extremely dangerous, washing away Xin Yi’s sanity and courage, making him cry and make a fuss like a little kid, throwing away that card with force, and stopping in front of Zhou MuHui not letting him leave. 

Read it on milkteatranslations.wrdpres.cm

           He took this matter very seriously, but had forgotten why at that time, Zhou MuHui needed that sum of money. 

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           After Xin Yi’s college entrance exam, he successfully gotten his wish to get into S University, he felt that everything was going smoothly and was like a dream, because even Zhou MuHui who kept rejecting him has become easy to talk to, sometimes Xin Yi would secretly test him out, wanting hugs, wanting kisses, the other party would refuse to budge for a moment, but won’t really push him away. 

           Everything went along Xin Yi’s will, and furtively asked, if it meant that they are in a relationship. 

           Because Xin Yi has reached an agreement with him previously, they will be together with him once his exams are done.

           Although Zhou MuHui didn’t agree to it.

           Zhou MuHui didn’t reply to him, the man’s face was calm, only that Xin Yi never gave up on holding his hand, then quietly moved his hand away. 

           The little kid’s summer vacation was reaching its end, loving to cling to him even more, taking on the responsibility of looking after the store’s door, confidently accompanying him.

           “You won’t even speak.” 

           Xin Yi was making a fuss, mumbling behind him.

           Zhou MuHui also discovered not long ago that the kid’s temper was quite big, probably because he got carried away recently, in front of Zhou MuHui, he was delicate and innocent as hell, if Zhou MuHui slightly went against his will, he will secretly hide behind and reproach him. 

           But he will not curse people, only saying that Zhou MuHui is bad again and again, and was always ignoring him.

           Zhou MuHui didn’t recognize their romantic relationship, but became more and more indulgent toward Xin Yi, the little kid was busy for a while before attending university, because he had military training1, and didn’t have the energy to run to him every day. 

           Fortunately, S University wasn’t far from Zhou MuHui’s place, so even if Xin Yi was almost paralyzed from fatigue, he would still come over to find him once every two or three days. 

           Then squat down beside the tall man, collapsing on him exhausted.

           “I’m so tired.” He mumbled, “Zhou MuHui, I want to charge up.”

           Charging up was his exclusive term, before that Zhou MuHui would be sneakily attacked by him from time to time.

           The little kid was addicted to kissing people, wanting a hug after holding hands, then wanting a kiss after hugging, not even caring if Zhou MuHui agreed or not, seizing any opportunity to move closer. 

           But he must be tired today, and did not even have the energy for a sneak attack, only leaning on his body to doze off, his hazy consciousness saying that he wanted to charge up. 

           Zhou MuHui paused for a moment, this job of his was long-term, because the lady boss opened a branch store, and let him manage the current shop. 

           The sunlight of four or five o’clock in the afternoon, it was yet the time for the night market to be busy, the shutter door in front of Zhou MuHui was half opened, he silently gazed at him, then lowered his head. 

           Zhou MuHui didn’t kiss him, only using his lips to touch his hair, the sensation was almost inconspicuous, practically no one would be able to feel it. 

           “Sleep for a while.” 

           Zhou MuHui said with his expression unchanging, but his fingers slipped down from the place he just kissed, and pinched the back of his neck.

           Xin Yi did not perceive anything, groaning like a cat, his gate of life was pinched by the man, and couldn’t help but act spoiled toward the other party. 

           “Not charging up?” 

           Zhou MuHui covered his eyes, and told him, “Sleep.” 

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           Xin Yi vaguely felt that he got into a relationship with Zhou MuHui at the end of his eighteen’s, at that time, Zhou MuHui and him have already known each other for two years, and the little kid was wronged to death, the day before his birthday he came over to find him, and drunkenly said, “Zhou MuHui, why don’t you like me yet.”

           He probably drank some alcohol, he was by Zhou MuHui’s side and was in an utter disorder, at that time Zhou MuHui was standing by the door, a few guys beside him were teasing him, asking him if he hugged the wrong person, why would he say that he likes his older brother. 

           Not knowing which of the kid’s nerves that sentence triggered, he got up aggressively, and shouted, “No!” 

           “I just like him!”

           The guys were roaring with laughter, they were prepared to leave, and didn’t take these words seriously, simply coaxing that little drunk, egging him on, “Then go kiss your older brother, it has to be the kind that is mouth-to-mouth.”

           Xin Yi confusedly widened his eyes, looked at the man who was locking the door, and nodded vigorously. 

           “Ok! Just you wait!” 

           Xin Yi probably really drank too much, Zhou MuHui could hear them speaking, but didn’t hear specifically what they said, only that after turning around he saw Xin Yi standing behind him, he was just about to ask him what was wrong, that Xin Yi already threw himself over. 

           Xin Yi’s body was very warm, his lips too, and that pair of eyes were sparkling and emitting light, Zhou MuHui was stunned by his kiss, but the little kid ran very fast. 

           “Did you see that! I really kissed (him)!”

           He acclaimed while running over, going in circles around them, the guys were laughing so much that they could almost not straighten their waists, they clearly took his act as acting crazy while being drunk. 

           Zhou MuHui looked at it on the side for a while, then called him over.

           “All of you go back.”

           Zhou MuHui held down Xin Yi, not letting him move, and said to the guys who were beside him. 

           The weather was still very hot at the end of spring, Xin Yi was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and walking beside Zhou MuHui, he was walking crookedly, Zhou MuHui at his right was looking at him, sending him back.

           He took his evening off and didn’t need to go back to the bar.

           “My mom even laughed at me.” Xin Yi was grumbling beside him, “I pursued you from seventeen years old to eighteen years old, and I’ll be nineteen years old tomorrow, how could you still don’t like me?” 

           Zhou MuHui didn’t speak, he continued to speak by himself, “If you still don’t like me, then I’m gonna stop liking you.” 

           Zhou MuHui paused for a moment, his steps slowed down half a beat, but before he got to say anything, Xin Yi raised his head dumbly, and spoke ahead of him, “Joking with you.” 

           He didn’t where he go to drink alcohol, his cheeks turned red, when bouncing and jumping and stopped before Zhou MuHui, that pair of moist eyes were scorching, Zhou MuHui also stopped, asking him, “What are you doing?” 

           Xin Yi was smiling dumbly, the alcohol made his brain messy, just going along with his instinct and moved closer, and furtively said, “I want to be in a relationship with you.” 

           It seems like he was telling a secret, he lowered his voice until it was very quiet, Zhou MuHui didn’t speak, only paused, then lowered his head, avoiding his gaze. 

           “The kind that is wanting a dating partner!” 

           Xin Yi stood up, and forcefully hugged him, Zhou MuHui felt that someone went into his pocket, the little kid got a handful of coins from who knows where, giving them all to him. 

           The sound of collision was crisp, spinning around in his pocket, Zhou MuHui watched his wrinkled face, leaning on his body and humming, and said with complete confidence. 

           “I have money, then, then it’s decided!” 

           The little kid let out a burp, then smiled sheepishly, “Hehe.”

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           Zhou MuHui looked at him quietly, after a long moment he held his arm, and took him toward the bus station. 

           Catkins were growing in late spring, but there were not too many of them, but the kid was tangled and anxious, he was shaking and swaying his head beside him, avoiding the white fluff that was flying over. 

           Zhou MuHui was quietly leading him along, and putting the hat on him, a light shaking sound came from his pocket during his movement, he slowed down half a beat, but just pretended that he hadn’t heard anything. 

           “Zhou MuHui…” Xin Yi looked up at him letting him put the hat on him, calling in a sticky manner, “Do you know that I like you?”

           “……”

           “I know.” 

           Zhou MuHui said in his heart.

           “I have a hundred likes for you.”2

           Xin Yi sneezed, rubbing his eyes and leaning on his body, saying, “In the future, once I’ve earned money, I’ll give it all to you.” 

           “We’ll buy a big house, a big car! Then open a shop, let you be the boss, alright?” 

           Zhou MuHui lowered his gaze, straightened his crooked body, and made him sit on a chair next to the bus station. 

           He didn’t say yes or no, only sitting quietly beside Xin Yi, listening to him speaks nonsense. 

           Xin Yi had even more things to say than when he was sober, nagging on his own, resting against Zhou MuHui’s shoulder, and wouldn’t stop no matter what. 

           But Zhou MuHui didn’t cut him off, he just quietly looked in front of him. The cars under the streetlights were coming and going, on the opposite side was a couple holding hands, chatting and laughing and walking this way, but the little drunk ghost next to him was still going crazy, holding firmly Zhou MuHui’s hand, intertwining their ten fingers. 

           “I killed my father when I was eighteen.” 

           Zhou MuHui spoke amidst his muttering, his voice hoarse, “On the second day after I received my admission letter.”

           The little drunk ghost was ignorant, pulling on his shoulder and smiling dumbly, “Like you, I want to earn money…” 

           “He was committing domestic violence, and ever since I can remember I have been fighting with him, that day he became crazy and tore my admission letter, I wasn’t at home, my mom sent me a text.” 

           “I told her to ignore it, an admission letter wasn’t something that important, and I wouldn’t be unable to go to school because of that, but she didn’t listen.” 

           “So tired… When has the car gone…” 

           “Elders are all like this, thinking that this thing is our life, wanting to snatch it from that person’s hands, then use the glue to stick it back together, and continue to use it.” 

           Zhou MuHui didn’t lower his head, looking at the yellow light flashing weakly from afar. 

           “But she didn’t listen to me.” 

           “I was working outside at that time, earning my tuition, and also the living expenses for her and me in the future. 

           “I needed money, a lot a lot of money.” Zhou MuHui smiled, and said, “Because she finally planned to get divorced.” 

           “Buy a big house… Not bullying Zhou MuHui… so tired…” 

           “I went back home very late that day, the building was very quiet, there was not a single sound, I opened the door with the key, pushed it open, and it was dark.” 

           “She should be at home, but the house was dark, very quiet, very dark, very smelly.” 

           “I switched on the lights, she was lying on the floor, told me, ‘Run.’ “ 

           The red light lit up, the pedestrians on both sides stopped, and the white crosswalk looked like a gulf, Zhou MuHui turned to look at it, struggling to use his sight to cross it.  

           But it was very difficult, as if there was a barrier, firmly blocking him, Zhou MuHui couldn’t leap over, staying on the side that was dark, unable to see the bottom. 

           “He was angered at work, venting it on my mom, I didn’t see him, there was only my mom lying on the floor, seeming to have lost her lift, looking at me with her eyes widened.” 

           Passer-by was making noise, cars honking through, the little drunk ghost beside him was chatting endlessly, hugging Zhou MuHui’s arm and yawning, and randomly rubbing against him. 

           “Her voice was very hoarse, speaking very strenuously, I ran over wanting to help her up, but she kept repeating…” 

           “Run.”

           “Run!” 

           “The house was very messy, the floor was full of broken alcohol bottles, and the admission letter that was torn into pieces, he was laughing hidden behind the door, when I had my back facing him, he suddenly pounced on me.” 

           “Wu, the light is green… why hasn’t the car come yet…” 

           “I pushed him away, he turned crazy after drinking alcohol, I saw blood stains on the corner of his clothes, he was kicked to the ground by me, laughing at me, and I ignored him.” 

           “My mom had to go to the hospital, I didn’t know where that person had hit her, her pupils were almost completely dilated, but when I helped her up, I saw that there was blood on the back, it was a slash made by a knife.” 

           Zhou MuHui said, “I could recognize it.” 

           “Want to go home… Mom is waiting for me…” 

           “He halted his laughing, the room was full of his intense panting, it was similar to a drum, but carrying a knife and waving it over.” 

           “His steps were very light, his breathing very heavy, carrying a stench of alcohol, but I didn’t notice it.”

           “I didn’t notice.”

           Zhou MuHui smiled, “I don’t know what happened back then, the alcohol stench was obviously very strong, so close to me, but I didn’t notice it.” 

           “I didn’t have the time to turn around, my mom saw it, and did her best to pull me away, but her strength was very weak, her voice very quiet, I saw her mouth open, anxiously pulling me, calling him, pushing me… but I didn’t react on time. That person rushed behind me very quickly, the knife he was holding was full of blood, it was my mom’s blood.” 

           Zhou MuHui paused.

           “She stood in front of me.” 

           “It’s raining, it’s raining.” Xin Yi was shaking his head, blankly falling toward Zhou MuHui’s body, “Want to go home.” 

           “The admission letter on the floor was dyed red, I was pressed by her on the floor, and she was lying in front of me, that person was holding the knife and stabbed down.”

           “One stab, two stabs.” 

           “It was full of blood.” 

           Zhou MuHui took back his glance.

           “I was a bit afraid, I was very afraid.” 

           “Will someone come to save her.” 

           “Will someone come to save me.”

           “Probably none, I snatched the knife in his hand.”

           “I couldn’t let my mom die.” 

           Zhou MuHui lowered his head, looking at Xin Yi in his arms, “I killed him.” 

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           The feeling of the sharp blade cutting through flesh and blood was terrifying, he obviously already fell down, but Zhou MuHui didn’t stop, the next moment the knife landed down, he finally downed himself to death along with him in that damp air, with no way of turning back from then on. 

           “Where is my home.” 

Notes:

Students have to take part in military training for a period of time (two weeks to a month, it depends).The meaning is close to ‘I love you 3000’ but I didn’t really want to take it as a ref.