Silent Confession

Silent Confession – Ch.21 – Angry for no longer than three seconds

PUBLISHED ON 20 September 2022

           “Xin Yi?”

           Zhou MuHui called him, and bowed down to carry him into the room. 

           He came back early in the evening, and the first thing he saw when opening the door was Xin Yi sitting on the sofa hugging the cat and in a daze, his movement when coming in couldn’t be counted as light, but the little kid hasn’t noticed it at all, until Zhou MuHui walked in front of it. 

           He seemed to have been scared, and distractedly looked at Zhou MuHui, Zhou MuHui asked him what was wrong, he let out an “ah”, then slowly shook his head negatively. 

           “No …”

           His voice was very light, and with an absentminded expression just like that, Zhou MuhHui furrowed his brows further, examining him. 

           Xin Yi was absent-minded, Zhou MuHui could feel it more and more clearly, he was making dinner, and the little kid’s sight landed on him, then moved away, the frequency was too high, making it very hard for him to ignore it. 

           It was even harder when they were eating, he only ate a few mouthfuls out of the bowl of rice, mostly using his time to glance at Zhou MuHui. Zhou MuHui was quite perturbed by all his watching, when he looked at him once again he hadn’t moved his chopsticks for a long while,  and carried him up with a cold face. 

           “What are you thinking about?”

           Zhou MuHui didn’t allow him to move, and asked him while pressing on his chin. 

           Xin Yi hurriedly sat up on the bed, “… nothing.”

           Mao Mao was locked outside by Zhou MuHui, probably because Zhou MuHui was a bit fierce, he was scratching the door and meowing and meowing, Xin Yi’s line of sight skipped over him, and whispered, “Mao Mao is calling.”

           Zhou MuHui hummed, but didn’t make any move, Xin Yi could also feel his own stiffness, carefully moving away his hand, wanting to open the door for his cat. 

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           “……”

           “Move away…”

           Xin Yi pushed him away, Zhou MuHui was unmoving as a mountain.

           “Why are you not happy.”

           Xin Yi’s hand that was pushing him trembled, hurriedly taking it back. 

           Xin Yi didn’t dare to look at him, didn’t dare to reply, hesitantly lowering his head, not even caring for his cat anymore.

           Zhou MuHui needed money before, but didn’t tell Xin Yi, Xin Yi sneakily learned that by himself, on the day he took the money and went to find him, Xin Yi already have forgotten what expression Zhou MuHui had back then, but now thinking about it, surely it wasn’t a happy one.

           Or else, why would he write him an IOU.

           “Speak.”

           Zhou MuHui told him.

           “……” Xin Yi drooped his ears, picking his own fingers with his head lowered, “… not speaking.”

           He wasn’t not happy, it’s just that he felt a bit depressed in his heart.

           Because he didn’t know when he lost the piece of paper that Zhou MuHui had given him, and only noticed it today. Although he didn’t even want that thing, but it was related to Zhou MuHui after all, furthermore… Zhou MuHui gave it so much importance, even working to death was for that thing.

           But now Xin Yi messed it all up.

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           He was a bit disheartened, even more not daring to lift his head. 

           But Zhou MuHui was amused by him into laughter, lowering his shoulder and leaning closer, asking him.

           “Angry?”

           He was leaning very close, Xin Yi felt a bit itchy, and also a bit shy, but he seldomly saw Zhou MuHui smile like that, so even though his head was lowered he couldn’t help but steal some glances at him.

           His heart was beating vividly, even though he was the one who was being stubborn, not willing to explain it clearly to Zhou MuHui.

           Zhou MuHui saw his line of sight, and let out a sigh in his heart.

           “Do you want to know…” Zhou MuHui’s eyebrows were tightly furrowed, as if he was thinking about what he should say, Xin Yi was distracted by him, carefully and confusedly raising his head, asking, “What?”

           Zhou MuHui was inexplicably a little bit embarrassed, even his ears turned a bit red, especially when the gaze Xin Yi was using to look at him was too bright, it was rare for Zhou MuHui to be stuck, evading his gaze. 

           “My WeChat text at noon.”

           Xin Yi was stunned, then reacted that Zhou MuHui was talking about the text that he called back at noon, Xin Yi was anxious, hurriedly sat down, and energetically, “Want!” 

           His urgency was beyond words, Zhou MuHui regretted he dug such a big pit for himself, but all in all Xin Yi didn’t have that unhappy expression he had back then, Zhou MuHui let out a sigh in relief, and said with an unchanging expression, “Still angry?”

           Xin Yi looked at him with confusion, and shook his head dumbfounded.

           “Not angry.”

           “Then what were you thinking back then?”

           “…”

           Xin Yi reacted, grabbed his collar, and widened his eyes, “You speak first…”

           He unknowingly was led by Zhou MuHui, Zhou MuHui saw that he was anxious, and didn’t tease him anymore, the wall lamp beside the bed was quietly switched off, Zhou MuHui half kneeled in front of him, whispering his name.

           “Xin Yi.”

           Xin Yi hummed, and did not really understand what he wanted to do, he was just saying something, why did the light have to be switched off.

           “It’s ok if… your guts are a little small.” Zhou MuHui said, “there’s still me.”

           Zhou MuHui slightly moved closer, lowered his forehead, looking at him gently.

           “Don’t be afraid of saying anything, ok?”

           “…..”

           Xin Yi didn’t say anything for a long time, after a long time, only he did stammeringly open his mouth.

           “Very coward, is it ok if I am very cowardly?”

           “It’s ok.”

           “Then is it ok if I say anything?”

           “Ok.”

           Zhou MuHui touched his hair, “Xin Yi can say whatever he wants.”

            But Xin Yi stopped speaking, only staring at Zhou MuHui, then hugged him tightly.

           “You’re so nice.” Xin Yi’s voice was a bit hoarse, his arms very tightly wrapped around his neck, wiping the salty and wet tears that suddenly surged out on his body. 

           “Zhou MuHui, I seemed to have worsened (being a crybaby) a little bit.”

           He was buried in Zhou MuHui’s neck, and sniffed, “Wait for me a little bit, very quickly… very quickly I’ll be asking you.”

           Zhou MuHui wiped his tears for him in the dark, sighed and nodded.

           “Alright.”

           He could see that Xin Yi was afraid, but he didn’t know why, but Zhou MuHui didn’t want to force him, Xin Yi could choose to say it or not say it, it is Xin Yi’s right.

           Zhou MuHui only wanted him to not be afraid, no matter what he does, or what he says, Zhou MuHui wouldn’t leave him.

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           In mid-June Xin Yi had to prepare for his exams, he and Fang YiHe huddled in the library for the whole day, Xin Yi’s grades were average, but Fang YiHe was very smart, and marked off a lot of important points for him, and told him to look at him at home.

           Xin Yi nodded,  the week before the exams he was hugging his books and did not let go of them, his character was too soft, in his sophomore year his family asked for his opinion, does he want to continue his studies after graduation or go to work, Xin Yi was very stupid, but he still said he wants to stay at school, thus he spent more effort than others, and managed to stay with difficulty.

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           “Those which have been marked off have to be reviewed once more tomorrow, do you understand?”

           Fang YiHe said goodbye to him in front of the library, the exam is on the day after tomorrow, and they won’t be coming here tomorrow, Xin Yi hummed, and hugged tightly the backpack in his arms.

           “And here too, all these needed to be reviewed.”

           Fang YiHe was flipping the books and showing him, but Xin Yi was absent-minded, Zhou MuHui sent a text a while ago to say that he will be waiting for him in front of the school, Xin Yi was a bit in a hurry, when Fang YiHe spoke for half a day and didn’t have the intention to leave, he hurriedly snatched the book in his hands.

           “I have to go!”

           Xin Yi didn’t have the time to say goodbye, turned his head and ran.

           Fang YiHe let out “hey”, gave him a glare behind his back, knowing that he was going to find Zhou MuHu again.

           After they talked it through last time, Xin Yi evaded it less and less, Fang YiHe wasn’t someone who was bashful either, the day after that when Zhou MuHui sent Xin Yi over, he went to apologize. He took a look when he was apologizing, although Zhou MuHui was speaking with him, all his attention was on Xin Yi.

           Hence, Fang YiHe let out a sigh in relief, and let off his old mother’s heart.

           Xin Yi ran off very anxiously, because Zhou Muhui was already waiting outside for a while, he was still sweating when he hopped into the car, Zhou MuHui saw it, pressed him into the seat, and gave him another lesson.

           The weather was hotter after the beginning of summer, Xin Yi’s cheeks were red after running for ten minutes, he obediently put on the safety belt and nodded at Zhou MuHui, saying, “I will be slower next time.”

           Zhou MuHui pulled out a tissue to wipe off his sweat, paused after hearing that, and said, “You indeed should be slower, there’s nothing to be in a hurry for.”

           “I won’t be leaving.” Zhou MuHui said.

           Xin Yi’s heart suddenly turned sour, you not leaving and me not leaving is not the same meaning, you might not leave now, but are you never going to leave? 

           He inexplicably felt wronged, and angrily pulled off Zhou MuHui’s hand.

           “……” Zhou MuHui frowned, “What’s wrong?”

           The hand that he pulled off was a bit bigger than his, Xin Yi’s guts were as big as a mouse’s, and became afraid in the blink of an eye, and stole a glance at Zhou MuHui using the corner of his eyes, then grabbed his hand and putting back into place.

           “Wrongly pulled it off…”

           He murmured.

           “……”

           It was rare for Zhou MuHui to get stuck, and let out a sigh after a long while, and pinched his face in this position, scolding him, “So stupid.”

           Xin Yi was not happy that he was told off, but he didn’t refute, only looked at him silently, and whispered, “Alright.”

           Anyway, he is indeed stupid.

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           Zhou muHui got a call after getting out of the car, Xin Yi was very close and heard a little, he quietly lowered his head, following behind the man and stepping on his shadow, but Zhou MuHui who was in front of him stopped, and grabbed his wrist.

           “Walk correctly.”

           “……”

           Xin Yi let out an “Oh”, and obediently walked next to him.

           Zhou MuHui was still on call, Xin Yi heard him saying that he was free, saying that he was going tomb sweeping, Xin Yi slowly looked at him, and guessed whose call it was. 

           “I also want to go…”

           After the call was hung up Xin Yi pulled Zhou MuHui’s sleeves, afraid that Zhou MuHui wouldn’t agree, Zhou MuHui paused for a moment, and turned his head to look at him.

           “I also want to go to see aunty…”

           Xin Yi begged him, “Zhou MuHui, take me with you.”