Silent Confession

 Ch.19 – Boyfriend has to be pursued with one’s own capabilities

           Xin Yi sent him two texts in the evening, one saying I got home, one saying I’m going to sleep, but Zhou MuHui did not reply to him, Xin Yi turned and tossed for most of the night, in the end, he sneakily charged ten bucks of call credits for him, and sent another one.

           “According to the basis of seventy characters per text, you can send me one hundred texts, Zhou MuHui, begging you.”

           After sending it, Xin Yi immediately closed his mobile phone, and pulled the quilt over his head to sleep, until the day turned bright, he crawled up still dazed and confused, the first thing he did was to check his phone.

           The inbox on his phone was still empty, there was only the text that notified him that the credits were charged on the account, Xin Yi blinked, still haven’t really reacted, until he looked at it again after finishing brushing his teeth and washing his face, only then he noticed that Zhou MuHui who changed call credits for him.

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           He returned the ten bucks that Xin Yi charged for him.

           Xin Yi was in a trance, feeling wronged to death, wrote his homework absent-mindedly, in the evening directly texting him after closing his books, asking him, “Zhou MuHui, is it because you don’t want to pay attention to me.”

           Zhou MuHui didn’t reply to him, Xin Yi was afraid that he was busy, pouted and put away his phone, not daring to disturb him again.

           One week passed very slowly, Zhou MuHui really did not reply to a single of his texts, the little kid finished writing his winter vacation homework with difficulty, ran out in the evening without eating his dinner, and hurriedly went to see Zhou MuHui.

           Zhou MuHui was also stunned when he saw him, because Xin Yi came out in a hurry, he only had a thin coat on him, and the little kid was squatting in a corner and trembling, his face was frozen white, seeing that he came out, he looked up and smiled at him.

           But Zhou MuHui couldn’t bring himself to smile, his whole body was so cold that it was scary, he trotted over and pulled Xin Yi up.

           “I, I am fine…”

           Xin Yi then felt that he did something wrong, and hurriedly added, “I am not cold!”

           His voice had fallen yet, he let out a shudder,  Zhou MuHui’s face became uglier, without saying a word, dragged him to sit at a table, and left in big strides.

           The lady boss of the shop knew him, hastily got him a cup of hot water, and let him lean closer to the air conditioner, scolding him, “You little kid, how come you’re wearing so little?”

           Xin Yi started to feel uncomfortable now that he has gotten warm, holding the water and feeling dizzy, and nodded in a daze, “… I forgot.” 

           There were no thick clothes in the shop, the lady boss could only bring him cup after cup of hot water, saying over and over again, “Even that can be forgotten, look at how anxious it made your brother.”

           Xin Yi kept coming to find Zhou MuHui for these few months, his build was small, the neighbors liked to tease him, and they also assumed that he was Zhou MuHui’s little brother, Xin Yi didn’t dare to talk back, only shrug his shoulders admitting his mistake, apologizing in a small voice.

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           He eyed the entrance from time to time.

           Zhou MuHui’s reaction made him a little bit afraid, Xin Yi was panicking, afraid that Zhou MuHui was really angry, and would ignore him.

           Zhou MuHui returned very quickly, his facial expression did not become better, Xin Yi holding the water, blinked and looked at him, waiting for him to get closer, then carefully moved closer, begging him, “Zhou MuHui, don’t be angry.”

           Zhou MuHui didn’t reply to him, only handing him the down jacket he just bought, telling him in a cold voice, “Wear it.”

           They left half a quarter later, Xin Yi obediently said goodbye to the lady boss, and jogged behind Zhou MuHui and left. 

           Zhou MuHui was angry, because he turned around when Xin Yi caught up to him, and told him to go back expressionlessly. Xin Yi wasn’t willing, standing next to him white-faced and shook his head, saying in a small voice, “Not going back.” 

           He carefully looked at Zhou MuHui, and inexplicably started to feel wronged, and asked, “Zhou MuHui, why didn’t you answer my texts.”

           He got more and more guts, habitually in the past he would never talk to Zhou MuHui like this, not even mentioning having demands, one moment he didn’t want to leave, one moment he wanted Zhou MuHui to pay attention to him.

           Changed to more severe.

           Zhou MuHui thought. 

           “Go back, you are not allowed to come back again.”

           He sensitively noticed the shift in himself, but refused this shift to continue, Xin Yi and him were people from two different worlds, Zhou MuHui shouldn’t, and couldn’t continue to indulge in himself and fool around with him.  

           Xin Yi was still a kid, but he wasn’t. 

           Zhou MuHui called a car for him, and forcefully stuffed him inside, Xin Yi was dumbfounded by these subsequent actions until the man closed the car’s door, did he anxiously call him, “Zhou MuHui!”

           “Study well.” Zhou MuHui looked at him coldly, and said, “Xin Yi, you don’t belong here.”

           A clean and bright sun, should not be associated with dark night.

           Snow has fallen in the morning, it was actually very cold, Xin Yi knew that he was wrong, he should have turned around and gone back when he noticed that he wore the wrong clothes, and not been uncaring and disregarding, and come to find Zhou MuHui in a hurry. 

           But he wanted to quickly come to see him.

           I just, just missed him so much…

           Xin Yi thought, was that also not ok. 

           His feeling of being wronged skyrocketed, maybe what Zhou MuHui said was right, he indeed unconsciously pampered, and spoiled Xin Yi, that’s why it made Xin Yi get an inch and want a mile, wanting to ask for Zhou MuHui’s love.

           Even though Xin Yi never noticed it.

           He was just like any hot-headed young person, sometimes reckless and impulsive in front of their beloved, clumsy and laughable, but impatient to see the other party.

           Hence, Xin Yi told the car to stop in the next second.

           He was probably getting a fever, because cold sweat was starting to emerge from his body, don’t know why Zhou MuHui walked faster than usual, Xin Yi ran for a while before he got to see his silhouette.

           His legs soften, almost kneeling down, Zhou MuHui heard the movement and turned around, but he still hadn’t said anything, Xin Yi staggered and pounced over.

           He gasped for breath, his tone was also trembling, the first thing he said after opening his mouth was.

           “I came seventh place in the exam.”

           Xin Yi felt wronged to death, he progressed in his studies, and also finished all his winter vacation homework, he didn’t even get angry that Zhou MuHui didn’t reply to his texts, why did he still want to drive him away.

           His cheeks were a little red, not ashen like it was before, when he looked up at Zhou MuHui, his body was leaping with a degree of heat.

           He has gotten a fever.

           Zhou MuHui caught him when he fell over.

           “……”

           “You made me so angry that I got dizzy…”

           Xin Yi’s words made sense, he grabbed his collar and complained, asking him again, “Zhou MuHui… What do you want to do?”

           His breath was very hot, when it sprayed on Zhou MuHui’s arm it gave him goosebumps, Zhou MuHui paused for a while, and avoided his glance.

           “……”

           “Where do you live, I’ll send you back.”

           He shut up refusing to talk, but Xin Yi wasn’t anxious either, only resolving the most difficult problem.

           “Then I’ll come again tomorrow.”

           Xin Yi used a pair of watery eyes to look at him, saying in a small voice, “Is it ok?”

           Zhou MuHui wanted to say that it wasn’t ok, but Xin Yi’s eyes were too red, that pair of eyes were full of carefulness and apprehension, and even the hand that was supporting his arm was trembling, Zhou MuHui paused for a while, and couldn’t bring himself to say the ‘not ok’ that was on the tip of his tongue. 

           Xin Yi couldn’t detect anything unusual, he didn’t dare to get any closer after the other party helped to support him, his uneasiness seemed to have taken roots, he pitifully looked at Zhou Muhui, and said, “Zhou MuHui, I’m begging you.”

           Zhou MuHui’s face was chilly, Xin Yi was anxious but not scared, asked softly, “You don’t want to pay attention to me, is it because you hate me?”

           His cheeks were still red, and the air he breathed out was also scalding hot, Zhou MuHui looked at his watery eyes, and only opened his mouth after a long while.

           “… No.” 

           He seemed to have compromised, and was also convinced.

           Zhou MuHui thought, it’s just a little kid, it was the age when one goes fishing for only one day and dries the net for the rest two days, the interest he had for someone could be maintained for many days, there was no need … to arouse his rebellious mentality.

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           “You have to reply to my texts.”

           Just when he was about to get off the car, Xin Yi emphasized once again, “You can reply to only one, but you cannot not reply at all.”

           Zhou MuHui looked at him, and said, “I know.”

           Thus, Xin Yi smiled again, his face carrying a dizzying heat, and waved his hand at him, “You’re so nice, then I’ll go.”

           He went home all excited, it started to snow again outside, after drinking the medicine Xin Yi watched while sprawled on the windowsill, Zhou MuHui left a long time ago, but he still did not want to move, he grabbed his phone to send him another text, asking him if he has arrived.

           Zhou MuHui replied to his text half an hour later, saying he was still on his way.

           Xin Yi was lying under his blanket and smiling, his whole person sprung up to sprawl on the bed, replying to him word by word, “Then you be careful on the way, I’ll come to find you tomorrow.”

           He sent a kissing kaomoji, but covered his phone in embarrassment after sending it, buried his face, and smiled like a fool. 

           He confusedly got clear-headed during the night, and thought about the fact that they got a forty-minute ride on their way to come here, how come Zhou MuHui was still on his way back at that time.

            But before he got to think further about it, sleepiness swept him up, and when he woke up once again, he had put that behind his mind.

           Xin Yi went to find Zhou MuHui the day before the Lunar New Year’s eve, he wore the cloth that Zhou MuHui bought him the other day, stood in front of him super obediently, and said in advance to Zhou MuHui, “Happy New Year.”

           He won’t be able to come for the next few days, Zhou MuHui probably also has to go back home, today the man has taken off his mask on one of the rare occasions, Xin Yi was so captivated that he was giddy, looked up and said, “If I send you a Happy New Year tomorrow, you have to reply to me, ok?”

           Zhou MuHui hummed, “Understood.”

           Xin Yi couldn’t help but smile, his fingers were restlessly twisting behind his back, looking at him anxiously.

           “Zhou MuHui… I want to hold your hand.”

           Zhou MuHui didn’t indulge him anymore, putting his two hands in his pockets, and saying expressionlessly, “You can’t.” 

           His face was cold, and wasn’t even wearing the gloves that he gifted him a while ago, Xin Yi was anxious and disappointed, in the end,  he could only feel wronged and replied an “Alright then.” 

           But today wasn’t a loss, because Zhou MuHui wasn’t wearing his mask the whole time.

           He had to leave after saying that, approaching the new year, he couldn’t be capricious like before, his dad and mom were still waiting for him at home to eat.

           “I have to go once again, Zhou MuHui, tomorrow is the New Year, I’m wishing you in advance good health, happiness, and may all go well with you.

           “Although you’re not willing to hold my hand…”

           The little kid sneakily looked at him, his cheeks puffed in anger, Zhou MuHui didn’t reply to him, and he once again found himself a way to back out of the embarrassing situation, “Alright, alright, I’m really not gonna say anymore.”

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           Xin Yi held back until New Year’s eye, in their family they had to habit of staying up all night on Spring festival’s eve, at eleven they each went to their own bed, on Xin Yi’s bedhead were the three share of lucky money1 his dads and mom gave him, Xin Yi took it to count, then sneakily stuffed it into his pocket. 

           He texted Zhou MuHui, and wished him a happy new year, after a short while Zhou MuHui answered, Xin Yi pursed his lips into a smile, asked him what he was doing.

           He was thinking that at this time Zhou MuHui must have just finished eating, or must be watching the television, outside, the Spring Festival Gala hasn’t finished broadcasting, if he went to switch it on, they could watch the same show.

           As if they were both together.

           “Busy.”

           Zhou MuHui said instead.

           Xin Yi was stunned, and hurriedly asked, “You’re still at the bar?”

           Zhou MuHui didn’t reply, and only said after a long while, “Yes.”

           Xin Yi knew that he was surely special, because of his identity, also because he was in dire straits at the moment, but Xin Yi never asked him, he was afraid he would bump on Zhou MuHui’s wounds.

           He was afraid that Zhou MuHui would be hurt.

           “……”

           Xin Yi suddenly got up from his bed, wore his clothes in a tearing hurry, and texted Zhou MuHui forty minutes later, asking him, “When do you get off work?”

           Zhou MuHui replied very quickly, but Xin Yi had already seen him.

           “Zhou MuHui!” 

           Along with his voice, the sound of falling fireworks filled up the night sky, bright and dazzling rose mid-air, then became bits and pieces that fell down, Zhou MuHui’s eyes rose from his mobile phone, and saw Xin Yi who was waving at him not far away, his heart suddenly skipping a beat.

           They both have forgotten, that it was already midnight at that time.

           “Zhou MuHui, Happy New Year!” 

Notes:

Money given to children as a spring festival gift.

So sorry for the late update!!! I was so tired that I was convinced that I didn’t translate this chapter while I actually already translated 90% and was 2 paragraphs short of being done with it? I opened the file yesterday and I was like “wtf why did I not publish it then??” I can’t believe I was so out of it during the whole week and I literally had some kind of partial amnesia…