Secret: Those years when I was a foreign aid for the Aurora Club

Uninteresting, boring, lackluster. If it weren't for some idiot's wishful thinking, there would be no need to waste time trying to remedy this.

This was a tiresomely long road. The wind and snow covered both the place where it came from and the end of it, and it also made him develop some bad habits.

Like starting to hate things that are worthless but alive.

On the way, He gradually gave up the things that a living being should have, such as the concept of time, sympathy for pain, and the perception of happiness. Humanity voluntarily gave up on itself, and reason and divinity took its place and became the most important components of Him. No longer understand that joy is good, so that you will not change your purpose due to pity. It is good to be unable to understand sorrow so as not to allow them to continue to suffer out of sympathy.

Even negative emotions no longer exist, so you can roam calmly in solitude. To sum up, this has no harm at all.

Step after step, there is no one on the ladder that can stop Him. Brannka's wrong performance made her condition worse, and even the uniqueness of the adjacent path could not accommodate it. If she is unwilling to give up the possibility in her hands and admit that her world has long been destroyed, then she will never be able to accept the nature of "decline".

"A monster without blood, tears and heart," she told Him.

"Boring," He said.

After watching the boring world for so long, he has forgotten what boring feels like. He is probably full of joy and finally able to get something, only to find that this thing is not as he thought... No, this should be "disappointment"? Or "sadness"? Well, it doesn’t matter what it is. Anyway, no one will discuss these issues with him in the future, and he will have endless time to think about these things slowly. Perhaps this is just because his "emotional confusion" curse was triggered by the true god of the adjacent path, affecting him slightly.

To be fair, He - neither this person nor him actually hates life. Living life has infinite possibilities. Sooner or later, the earth that has experienced desolation will be rejuvenated, and the life that has overcome pain will be more beautiful. Pain and sorrow are necessary, but beauty and hope are also necessary. Trapping life in a cage of despair, even if you pay for a thousand years of pain in advance, all you will get in the end is destruction.

When she was reminiscing about the past, missing the beautiful blue sky and vast grasslands, while he was looking forward to the future and looking forward to the unknown world, they were destined to be unable to understand each other, let alone forgive.

"What you can't accept, I'll accept it for you."

Under the polar night sky, on the pale snowfield, the sky is silent, the earth is silent, and the long dream is cruel and beautiful. Thousands of years ago, God did not want to admit the despair and misery of family destruction and death, so he chose desire and escape. Thousands of years later, the cold wind howled and was as sharp as a knife, covering up cries and burying prayers. Before the new god could sit firmly on his throne, he could not bear to face this broken world and made a solemn declaration:

"I curse my hometown, this is the end!"

"I curse all the creatures here, curse your cruelty, selfishness and ignorance. You will lose your life, existence, history, and the fog and snow will swallow everything. Then, I wish you that you can finally find peace."

"...I wish this planet, no matter how broken or declining, will give birth to new life."

"I wish that the lives in the future will have the arms to open up the road to civilization, and they will no longer have to survive in the haze and cold."

Roaring, crying, cheering, cursing. Filling the ear drums, some people are crying, some are laughing, some are cursing the gods because they are trying their best to survive but their existence is denied by God, and some are happy because they have received the announcement of death in the midst of painful life and confusion. The New God looked down at the creatures at his feet from a height of ten thousand feet. There were only five or six hundred intelligent creatures, and the number of animals and insects could also be counted. But that's it, that's it, but it has thrived in the only pure land for thousands of years and has not become extinct. If there are no many prerequisites, no divine intervention and no selfish motives, this can be regarded as respectable.

It’s hard to tell how much impact that madness had on me. The moment I glimpsed the truth, awakened myself, and embarked on the escape road to find the future alone, I ushered in my first long death. Nowadays, in the endless void and cold silence, I can occasionally hear Brannka chattering in my consciousness, saying words such as missing my homeland, sincerely loving my hometown and the planet. In the past, I still felt the same, but now they have drifted with the wind. go.

Without her protection, the strong wind roared into the last grassland, dyeing the grass white and wrapping the body with ice and snow. All life would die in just a few minutes, and the continuation of thousands of years was only for this moment of destruction. . I don’t feel sad, I feel relieved, and even finally feel the joy of embracing this planet. Die, Brannka, die, no more whispering in my ears, only my reason will live with the divinity.

Suffering makes life progress, and it also made me finally give up my feelings of being born as an insignificant being, my attachment to my homeland, my nostalgia for the past, and my ability to miss the smile in my memory. This is the kind of peace of mind that comes from knowing that everything is futile after death. The end is coming, and I just feel bored.

"Cry, cry as much as you want."

"Or curse me, or laugh, or hate me!"

Facing the various forms of life when death came, He said angrily for the last time: "At least at the last moment, live for yourself!"

TBC

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The next chapter of the fragmentary diary ends.

Small setting addition: Brannka's real name is Branna, and Enka is a tribal surname. When strangers or in very serious situations, when calling the person by his full name, the last sound of the name will be omitted and the surname will be added to make it appear more solemn.

The full name of decline is "Alcatulian Winter". After the "cold wave", the surname customs of the two races disappeared. The surnames no longer have blood and family meanings, but only represent the date of death. "ER" is a common humanized sound, which is silent like the e at the end of English. "Ka" is a class name, representing the priestly class. The "lia" at the end of the name refers to gender, and lia means "nothing". Reproductive ability, genderless (worker ants, laborers, a type of resource). These nouns are used to identify individuals and are only equivalent to code names. So if you remove them all, his name is Atua.

"Winter" was translated by Decay himself when he needed to introduce himself on Earth. The word was originally just "winter", but because in his civilization, winter is a disaster, the word has a derogatory connotation and the context is more complicated. Such as "life-killing cold" and "bitter cold wave".

↑These will be introduced in more detail in future sections.