Retrograde Gaming

Chapter 22: My Woman Is In Danger?

Translator: Henyee Translations

Editor: Henyee Translations

Li Huailin went offline in exasperation, he immediately opened the official forums and discovered a pinned thread as he expected.

‘Jianghu’s emergency aid, Kickass Brother is troubled!’

Original Post: I went online this morning to go outside the main city’s northern gates to level up. I unexpectedly encountered Kickass Brother just outside the gates. What was even more unexpected was that Kickass Brother was robbing people. After delightfully handing over 20 Silver Coins and returning to the city, the more I thought about it the more I felt something was wrong—why did a figure like Kickass Brother reduce himself to robbery? Was there some trouble he encountered? Was there something he needed to do that he couldn’t tell anyone? I couldn’t figure out why, however, I felt that during a disaster, everyone should help. Hence, I called on players who had spare money in hand, why not come help by going to the northern gates and get ‘robbed’? And, I hope that everyone won’t say that they went to make donations, or else Kickass Brother might be embarrassed and not accept them.

First post: Is this true? I’m going online to check it out.

Second post: Kickass Brother lacks money? I’ve got a load of money, I’ll donate a Gold Coin.

Third post: You got problems? Why give him money?

Fourth post: Oh sh*t! It’s hard to farm money in ‘Glory’ as expected! Even Kickass Brother is short on money.

Fifth post: I’m just looking around, I don’t have any money.

…

…

“Oh crap…” Li Huailin almost coughed out blood from indignation, who said he lacked money? He obviously wanted to seek death, however, in the end, so many came to donate to him. Now that this happened, how would he seek death in the future? If he ran to the southern gates, someone else would just post a thread ‘Kickass Brother is robbing at the southern gates!’, and if he ran to the eastern gates, someone would post ‘Kickass Brother is robbing at the eastern gates!’. Most importantly, he inexplicably owed so many people favors now—even the Spiritual World guild gifted him 10 Gold Coins. Although they said he didn’t have to return it, Li Huailin still felt bitter on the inside.

The more he thought about it the angrier he became—a whole day’s effort didn’t even add a single bit of experience! He also inexplicably attracted a little troublesome girl, Red Face Drinks Water. He absolutely didn’t know how the hell things ended up this way.

Most annoyingly, how would he level up in the future? After he gave it some thought, he concluded that all of this mess was because he provoked a girl. Now that his stats were terrifyingly high, not to mention finding people to PK him, even monsters couldn’t do much to him—even if over a dozen monsters attacked him at all angles, they would still take several minutes just to be able to reduce his Health Points to 0. And this was under the circumstances that there was no one fighting over the monsters with him.

“Forget it, there’s only a seven-day time limit.” Li Huailin turned and tossed over these thoughts before suddenly figuring it out. It wasn’t like he couldn’t level up forever, he just couldn’t do it in the next seven days. He really didn’t need to worry about wasting seven days’ worth of time just because his leveling up wasn’t the same as other players, the others would need to accumulate experience by fighting monsters—there would be ample time for him to do something similar in the future, it wasn’t necessary for him to be upset over this.

“In the next few days, I’ll just roam around inside the game and get to know the distribution of monsters inside the game—find out which places are faster and more convenient for seeking death—this can be considered as preparation work. When the seven days pass, I’ll crazily go to those spots and have the monsters kill me to level up.” Li Huailin clapped his hands, feeling that his plan was too wonderful.

“Okay, time to sleep! I’ll start assembling information tomorrow.” After setting up his plans, Li Huailin turned over onto his bed and peacefully entered slumberland.

The next morning, Li Huailin still regularly woke up at seven. But today, he wasn’t in a rush to get on the game. This was because he was screwed over an entire day yesterday, so, he simply wanted to adjust his mood first. After changing into a set of clothes, Li Huailin decided to go for a jog on the streets and eat some breakfast afterward.

Just when Li Huailin opened the door, he heard a delicate cry—’Ah!’.

At a glance, Li Huailin discovered that it was his neighbor, Chen Juan. Chen Juan wore a red strapless evening dress, a red gauze shawl was draped over her shoulders, her originally charming face had a bit more grandeur and frigid beauty.

It seems that Chen Juan had just returned home, she was walking to the doorway of her unit when unexpectedly, the door at her side suddenly opened, accidentally scaring her.

“Little handsome brother, you scared me by suddenly opening the door.” When Chen Juan saw that it was Li Huailin, she patted her half-revealed chest and pretended to be terrified while saying this.

“How could I… to scare someone to death just by opening a door, wouldn’t I already be in jail if that was the case?” Li Huailin laughed. “Sister Juan, how come you’re back so early today?”

“Can’t I come home early?” Chen Juan rolled her eyes, “This sister wasn’t lucky yesterday, I couldn’t scoop up anyone. All men nowadays are blind, aren’t they? Don’t you think? This sister’s so beautiful, and yet there’s actually no one who asks me on a date.”

With this said, Chen Juan sized up Li Huailin and then made a seductive pose. “Little handsome brother, do you think this sister is beautiful?”

“Extremely beautiful, look, I’ve drooled all over the ground. The mop? Where’s the mop?” Li Huailin immediately responded.

“This sister’s so beautiful and couldn’t find a man yesterday. Now, I feel empty, lonely, and cold, shouldn’t you do something?” Chen Juan said as she leaned in closer to Li Huailin.

“Don’t. Sister Juan, don’t you think it’s strange to be neighbors with someone you’ve had friendship sex with? We’ll see each other everyday in the future, how awkward would that be?” Li Huailin said with a smile.

“Yes…” Chen Juan thought about it. “You do have a point, besides, you’re also a poor wretch that can’t support this sister. Forget it, I’ll spare you.”

“Hehe.” Li Huailin laughed, he closed the door behind him and got ready to go out.

“Wait…” Suddenly, Chen Juan reached out her hand to stop Li Huailin.

“Hm?” Li Huailin turned around again. “What’s the matter?”

“Thank you for last time, back when I was drunk.” Chen Juan laughed and added. “You’re a good man.”

“I’m really confident in being one.” Li Huailin laughed as he waved his hand. “Sleep early, I’m heading out.”

“Tsk, you’re getting full of yourself already.” Chen Juan spat, she then opened the door and returned to her unit.

The city in the morning was both quiet and peaceful. Although it was summer, it was still a bit cool and refreshing. At seven in the morning, the majority of youngsters were still resting, and because it was the holidays, the majority of children weren’t awake yet since they slept late. Only some elderly people would wake up around this time everyday to exercise.

Li Huailin jogged along the QT riverbank near his house. Even though it was just a simple jog, but everytime Li Huailin cycled his breathing, he had his own unique rhythm. This was an extremely peculiar breathing mechanism. For normal people, it was an extremely difficult thing to change their breathing habits. However, Li Huailin trained this breathing technique for a total of seven years before he finally managed to adjust to this method—now, it became a natural habit every time he took a breath.

After running to the riverside park, Li Huailin slightly slowed down to adjust the breathing duration and frequency, and then, he walked to the park’s horizontal bars and started to do pull-ups. Recently, he spent a little too much time on gaming, this made Li Huailin’s body feel somewhat rusty. Taking advantage of the fact that he was out today, Li Huailin hurriedly did a few more exercises.

Exercising for roughly an hour, Li Huailin gradually felt a little tired, and so, he jogged back to his own apartment building, ate some breakfast at the entrance, and went up to his floor. After showering, he then continued to sit in his gaming pod.

With the flash of the black screen, Li Huailin appeared at the main city’s northern gates, this was the location where he went offline yesterday. Before he even stabilized his footing, Li Huailin suddenly heard a headache-inducing voice.

“Brother-in-law!”

Li Huailin rolled his eyes, there was only one person who called him this. He slowly turned around and there was Red Face Drinks Water, as expected.

“Brother-in-law, you’ve come online! I waited for you for so long.” Red Face Drinks Water said cheerfully.

“Why were you waiting for me?” Li Huailin said gloomily.

“Of course it’s to play with brother-in-law… Oh! It’s to learn the profound secrets of robbery—robbing with the expression with one’s eyes!” After accidentally blurting out her true intentions, Red Face Drinks Water hurriedly corrected herself.

“…” Li Huailin was truly speechless.

“Oh right, brother-in-law, are we going to rob today at the same place?” Red Face Drinks Water asked expectantly.

“No, we won’t be robbing today, brother-in-law still is occupied with something, you can go and practice on your own,” Li Huailin hurriedly said—he wanted to slip away from the girl.

“Hey… brother-in-law, wait, wait.” Red Face Drinks Water hurriedly pulled on Li Huailin. “Brother-in-law, what are you occupied with? I’ll go with you.”

What could I possibly be occupied with? It’s just to get away from you—however, Li Huailin naturally wouldn’t say this, after he thought about it, he said, “Brother-in-law also needs to level up. Do you remember that Wind Also Flows is going to find me for a duel 10 days later? I can’t lose to him, it’ll be too embarrassing.”

“Ah, brother-in-law!” Suddenly Red Face Drinks Water cried out, “There’s trouble!”

“What?” Li Huailin was momentarily startled.” What trouble?”

“Sister’s in danger!” Red Face Drinks Water shouted urgently.

“She’s in danger?” Li Huailin was distracted. ‘It’s not my goddamn business that she’s in danger, we aren’t even in a relationship, let alone friends.’ However, he naturally couldn’t say this, so he asked her, “What’s the matter?”

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“There’s a gang of people from a large guild, they’ve surrounded my sister, they said that their guild leader wants my sister to be his girlfriend. Brother-in-law, this is a slap on your face! You should hurry up and rescue her, strike them all down!” With this said, Red Face Drinks Water pulled on Li Huailin as she started running.

“Hey, hey,” Li Huailin originally wanted to say something, but he suddenly had a lightbulb moment. ‘Oh crap! why didn’t I think of this? If one person can’t kill me, will a group of people still not be able to kill me? Why don’t I just provoke a large guild and have tens of thousands of people chase after me—I’m absolutely too f*cking smart!’

With these thoughts in mind, Li Huailin suddenly became enthusiastic. “M*therf*ckers! Which guild’s S13 dares to touch my woman? I’ll definitely kill them till they call me daddy!”

The corner of Red Face Drinks Water’s lips lifted up in a pleased smile. “Yeah! Yeah! Brother-in-law, you have to teach them a proper lesson!”

“Let’s go!” Li Huailin gallantly said.