Restricted Doomsday Syndrome

In the days when Xiaomei struggled to survive on the battlefield, she has become a qualified mysterious expert, and like every qualified mysterious expert, she trusts her intuition more than evidence.

Although only calculated from the time in her memory, probably not even half a year has passed, but now she rarely recalls the days when she used to be a female high school student.

She witnessed what happened to the earth with her own eyes, and at a very close distance, she realized how human beings are becoming. Before the night of Valpuss, which was involved in Las Vegas, the peaceful and everyday time now seems more dreamlike than any dream-she sometimes doubts the past in a state of confusion Whether those normal times are really a dream.

Everything that was once good is gone. Things that used to be troublesome, troublesome, painful, and boring, now look like dreams. Compared with the pain and despair that I have suffered today, what can be the setbacks in the past in daily life?

She has dreamed of going back to the past countless times, but after waking up, she will only feel more painful, and now, she can't even shed tears.

Compared to people who are still alive, maybe people who died can get peace? This is the thought she sometimes produces when she witnesses the death of people she knows or who is strange.

Today, she is standing on this battlefield as a warrior and a survivor-this situation no longer allows her to think too much about "if" things. She was n’t quite sure how the actions of others and others would affect the situation, but she knew that what she was doing was the only thing she could do.

Why are you different from others? Is this just an illusion, or is it really a mission? Or, is it left in the London repeater, and I do n’t know how Madoka ’s expectations are now?

You must do something yourself.

Just because I seem to be a little special, it is necessary for me to use this particularity to do something-for some modern people, this is not the correct logical relationship, but for Xiaomei himself In other words, on this battlefield, there will be no specialities that are different from others, and they will appear for no reason.

It's like a script, all the characters who show particularity can't just be passers-by.

The magical girl Xiaomei has connected the disappearance of the school sister with the impact of the implementation of engineering components. When the two things are connected in a line in her brain, she can't ignore it anyway. The degree of her concern, in her own view, exceeded those of the Nazis.

She must find out the black hand behind the scenes, because this is likely to be the key to saving something. As for what she was going to save and what she could save, she didn't even know. Maybe it's just school sister? Perhaps it is this space joint experimental fleet? Perhaps the scope is larger, but it is difficult to imagine a too large scope, and it is impossible to be related to "save the world".

However, when she tried to confirm where the enemy was and who the enemy was, there were already more and more companions or active or forced to stop activities and stop thinking. Of course they are not dead yet. When necessary, they will still fight, just as they did in the past. From this perspective, this "enemy" hidden in the space joint experimental fleet may not be an outright enemy.

However, what is the position of the "enemy" in the current situation of the Universe Joint Experimental Fleet? What is the plan for all this? The other party obviously does not intend to let others know too much, and this secretism is what makes Xiao Mei most uneasy.

To the mysterious experts who have survived today, even if everyone has their own ideas, but the actions taken in the collective action are by no means purely in accordance with their own ideas. The practice of gathering people's ideas and wisdom to check for vacancies has been strictly followed, and it cannot be said that the results are better than other methods. However, from the facts, this method is not bad.

Mystery experts, mysterious organizations, all people and groups with the word "mystery", believe in and implement secrecy, it is not a special case. However, even if people in the past thought this was taken for granted, Xiaomi does n’t think it is still correct to do so now.

Today, there is such a guy who may or may not be an enemy, is still pursuing this kind of secrecy, and has caused the interior of the Universe Joint Experimental Fleet to be seriously affected. Not to mention, now there are fewer and fewer people who can think normally and provide suggestions. Once the situation develops, eventually, when everyone must implement someone's ideas, it will inevitably come. And what determines the destiny of everyone is no longer everyone's own idea, but the last remaining idea.

It may also be the idea of ​​the black hand behind the scenes.

Xiaomei is reluctant to put her future in the hands of this secret hands behind secretism. Even if everything he saw in front of him was pain and torture, he was like a small boat in the tide and could only drift with the waves. But she still wants to decide, to a certain extent, how she should act. I also hope that others can express their own ideas and implement their own decisions.

She has various reasons to be dissatisfied with this behind-the-scenes approach.

However, before pulling out this guy, she can't show herself too special to avoid being exposed to the other party's vision.

Even after becoming a mystery expert, Xiaomei never thought that she would one day need to do something like a spy. And, she never had the experience to do this kind of thing. Those who are accustomed to secrecy should easily adapt to avoiding and hiding. However, as a mysterious expert of the new generation, she grew up in a semi-military organization "Magic Girl Crusader" who believed in collectivism. Not a secretist, but also consciously opposed secretism.

Therefore, when she had to reverse the bright and upright actions of the past and concentrate on disguising herself and screening the enemy in secret, she did not have much thought.

Before and after becoming a magical girl, Xiaomei once worked with Mr. Gao Chuan, an independent mysterious expert. Because of the special encounter and special experience, the memory is very deep, including her, Madoka and Xue The three sisters, after joining the Magical Girl Crusader, also often follow Gao Chuan's activity. For the three, Gao Chuan himself is the textbook of a living mysterious expert. When three people encounter difficulties, they often think about it: if Mr. Gao Chuan encountered such a thing, what would he do.

In Xiao Mei's impression, the mysterious expert Gao Chuan himself is not a secretist. Although not a secretist, it is full of secrets. Although in memory, Gao Chuan has never experienced a head-on battle, but what impressed her most was the fact that the other party remained silent.

Gao Chuan's silence does not seem to be hiding anything, but rather he is carrying something so heavy that he can't speak to people. Xiaomei thinks that his own personality may not be so restrained, but that he has to face things that make him have to do it-just like himself now, of course he is not a person who likes to keep silent, but in this At times, it may be best to keep silent.

You do n’t need to express yourself, you do n’t need to hide yourself, look more and talk less, and keep silent, just like you are just a humble screw in this declining group of mysterious experts.

Xiaomei is neither a person who particularly dislikes talking nor a person who particularly likes to talk. All of her character performances will not be prominent among all high school girls, and she considers her character to be mediocre. When she deliberately speaks, she feels uncomfortable. However, compared with the feeling of not speaking deliberately, it makes her feel that it is better to be able to speak.

Xiaomei doesn't know how other people feel when she keeps silent. For her, this kind of silence is like putting all the bad things in her heart, and everything that makes her feel sad can't be released. Your emotions and feelings become extremely sensitive when you are silent, and you can clearly feel the pain, madness and despair that permeate everything in front of you more than ever before, and all this is like being unable to vent and accumulate more and more The flood caused her to have a fear of breaking the dam in her heart sooner or later.

The more silent, the more clearly you can feel the pressure, the more you can clearly feel a terrible situation, and you are approaching step by step.

It turns out that Mr. Gao Chuan is fighting in such a world under such pressure? Xiaomei felt that she gradually understood why the other party could make some incredible achievements in the eyes of other mysterious experts. At the same time, after she passed the initial torment caused by silence, she also began to realize that silence is poisonous.

When a person begins to be silent, and withstands the pressure of silence, and continues to extend the time of silence, it becomes increasingly difficult to speak again. What accumulates in my heart seems to deteriorate in the process of silence, and becomes something that I ca n’t even talk about, even if it ’s so hard, so deep, so complicated, even if I deliberately let others see When it comes to it, other people can only see its surface, and can't understand it at all. For itself, it has become something.

The toxicity of this silence will not only cause abnormalities in the language system, but also cause psychological and spiritual abnormalities. When Xiaomei feels this more clearly, she cannot stop because she cannot find anything but silence. To better disguise their own special methods.

Before she was eroded by the silent toxicity, she could not help but accelerate the investigation. She wants to hide herself, but she has to do some more powerful temptations. The two are contradictory, and she must strike a balance in this contradiction.

She has only one person to act. Although she has thought about finding one or several allies and telling her concerns and guesses to the other party in order to obtain the cooperation of the other party, but this idea has been tested by her several times and seems to be able to think normally. After companions, they have given up.

The so-called "normal thinking" is also relative. As long as these companions ’enthusiasm for“ executing engineering components ”does not change, there is still the idea that they must rely on it to be able to face increasing pressure, as long as their vision of the universe joint experimental fleet is still in consciousness and behavior , Centered on "executing engineering components", many of their ideas and plans have been skewed in Xiaomei's eyes.

Their seemingly "normal thinking" is nothing but a skin and part of the "executive engineering component". The core of their thinking is not their own, but more like "executive engineering component" has replaced their brains.

No, rather, they are all part of the "executive engineering component" ~ www.readwn.com ~ whether the conclusions of "normal thinking" come from their ego or from hiding here What kind of executive engineering component is behind this "self"?

Now, is it the collective formed by the surviving mysterious experts who dominate the joint experimental fleet of the universe, or the one behind the scenes represented by the “executive engineering component”?

However, it may be because most of the mysterious experts who are still active are no longer discussing it, but are working around "executing engineering components". Even if they do not communicate, they are as precise as machines. The decisions made by each person and the ideas they are implementing are being combined in an efficient manner, so that the operation of the Universe Joint Experimental Fleet is getting smoother and smoother.

Xiaomei can clearly feel that the temporary joint space experiment fleet that he is in is in a more practical sense, from a relatively dispersed whole to a carefully crafted individual, and thus shows More powerful and concentrated than before.

The distance between the Nazi Lunar Repeater and the Universe Joint Experiment Fleet due to the mystery of the space-time factor resulted in sufficient time and opportunity for the transformation of the Universe Joint Experiment Fleet. In terms of the changes in the fleet that can be observed and felt in front of him, Xiaomei can say that he does n’t like it, or that he does n’t think it ’s correct, but he ca n’t deny that such changes are not just what he thought The disadvantages are also obvious.

After soberly recognizing this, Xiaomei can finally silently examine the behind-the-scenes behavior from a more objective perspective.

However, this objective inspection does not shake her out of the other party's ideas. This idea has nothing to do with the reason, but in silence, it has become a deep-rooted goal.