Restricted Doomsday Syndrome

Prostitute Gao Chuan woke up in his dream. He was gradually sober, thinking gradually, some hazy thoughts were like moon shadows in the water, rising to the sky, becoming a bright moon, and the bright moon was also spreading the hazy moonlight. In half a dream and half awake, those bits and pieces that were constantly floating in his thoughts brought waves of ripples, so that he only felt that his soul was floating in a calm lake. I did n’t think of the picture. I saw a picture that seemed to be understandable, but I could n’t fully understand it. I felt that I was not an instant existence, but a diffusive whole. Flowing in a grand loop.

He felt calm, but there was another impulse, wanting to escape from this calm. He felt that he was struggling, but what kind of struggle this was, he could not imagine. He also felt that he was already used to it all.

There are countless sounds that sound when he develops self-awareness, and countless kinds of movements are produced during this process of knowing who he is. It seems that his fragments scattered in the endless sea are reunited in one place with these extremely complicated movements.

He, in such a grotesque and calm that could not be described in detail, gradually re-recognized who he was.

—I’m Gao Chuan.

A voice seems to be a voice from a certain thought segment of him, telling him:

If the "virus" is just a natural mechanism, then all the sufferings people are experiencing are inevitable, and all human self-help is meaningless.

If the "virus" is such a kind of existence, then the idea of ​​solving the "virus" to save people from the end is simply impossible.

Therefore, in terms of the existence form of "human", "virus" must be "the culprit of advancing the end with a malicious intention".

This voice appeared suddenly and continued to expand the proportion in the thinking of the prosthetic body Gaochuan. He began to realize what he thought, but many of them gradually faded with his sobriety. Only such an idea is clear and distinct, and its sense of existence is greater and heavier than other ideas. To describe this idea with color, it must be gray-black. To describe it with words he knows, it must be despair.

The prosthetic body Gaochuan is waking up, he knows that he is waking up, the memory before sleep is becoming clearer, more detailed, and more organized, however, when he starts to think consciously and actively, When sorting out these thoughts, only extremely despair and darkness filled his heart, as if to tell him that he should not wake up at all.

Soberness is painful, and thinking is also painful. That sleeplessness without knowing yourself is the only way to get a rest. As long as you live with a strong will, "alive" itself is a shackle, a source of despair and pain. However, the idea of ​​"to live stubbornly against these despair and pain" is itself a great despair-- It will definitely not bring a little peace of mind, and it has no meaning. It is stubborn in the form of the person, stubborn in the thought of the person, and imposes the subjective meaning on the objective things. This is itself a manifestation of the limitations of the person And the flash point that people claim to have in this limitation is nothing but self-deception.

Human thinking, human soul, the distinction between physical and non-physical, human's sense of independence of one's own spirituality, the spiritual level of matter relative to material is nothing but an illusion. All the factors that make up "human" are unified and harmonious, and there is no classification and boundary in human subjective cognition. It is all a trivial part of that grand and objective movement.

Man is not a creature, nor is it a philosophy, but purely an "objective movement", one of the details of an overall and grand objective movement. All cognition of the self is nothing more than a manifestation of this kind of movement-cognizing this and returning completely to that essential objective, you will know what the "doom" is and what the "virus" is.

There has never been an "end of life", only the process of transforming one movement into another.

There has never been a "virus", only the mechanism that must appear in the process of movement transformation.

There has never been an enemy, there is only one movement interfering with another movement, and this interference itself is also just a movement change in thousands of movements.

Everything is a movement. In a grand and holistic movement, every movement has its inevitable meaning. Since that is the case, then the movement represented as "doom" is meaningful, and the movement represented as "virus" It is also meaningful, and the other movements that are observed and realized in these movements, whether they are recognized as "save" or "struggle", or other meanings, these meanings are just illusions of limitation. The real meaning is that it is a link to promote the "end of the world", show "virus" and other movements.

"No, stop ... I can't think about it anymore, I can't think about it anymore ..." Yichuan Gaochuan only feels that a pale and fragile "self" is whining, where it is too grand to describe in words, if it is forced to use words To describe, what I get is nothing more than "distortion reason" thinking, the "Gaochuan" cognition produced by my own self is so small, so degenerate, so full of limitations-just like letting go Don't use a universe, instead put yourself in a small carton, and there is no external force to force yourself to shrink into this small carton. What restricts you is only your narrow and foolish ideas.

The tragic scenes that I witnessed in the past, whether about myself or others, are nothing but the false illusions produced in this narrow and foolish field of vision-in fact, there is no death, no end, no virus, then The essence of everything is nothing but purely a movement change, but only from one form to another. Unable to accept this purely objective movement change, but confined to the individual subjective self, is the culprit that makes one feel despair and pain.

——No one hurt Gao Chuan, but Gao Chuan hurt himself.

——Nothing is ruining others. The misery seen is only the meaning given to the objective movement subjectively, but others who are the main body of the objective movement are not destroyed in substance.

...

——Perhaps, there is actually no Gaochuan, no river, no virus, no mysterious experts, no so-called “human” and “non-human”.

——The so-called "self" does not exist, and the behavior of cognitive self is wrong.

-"I" does not exist, you, me, him, none of them exist, the perception of dividing the boundaries is wrong.

"A grand ... grand ... grand movement, non-stop movement ..." The body style Gaochuan screamed. He felt that he could not bear it anymore. A terrible cognition was obliterating himself. The world as a life to cognize was transforming into something that could not be described even by "cold objectivity". He did not want to think that way. He kept struggling and wanted to get rid of the self-denying cognition. He exhausted all the philosophical and dialectical thinking he knew, mocked the objectivity, and emphasized subjective consciousness. The meaning of objective things, however, is of no use at all.

That terrible, cold, objective thinking is like the most essential thing. In self-cognition, it is unhurried, but it rotates unstoppably. Then he suddenly understood:

Only "stupid" can escape from it.

Only by not thinking can one escape from that fear, despair and madness.

"No, no, no! I didn't think so, I didn't think so ... Let me think about it, let me think about it again ..." Takakawa, the prostitute, hugged his head in pain, when his hand hit his head Only then suddenly realized that his consciousness had returned to the prosthetic body-no, it should be said that being imprisoned in the prosthetic body, such a feeling of imprisonment was so strong, even if he did not want to think so subjectively.

When he re-recognized the state of his own righteous body, all feelings were disorganized, making people feel pain and suffocation, just like being forcibly stuffed into a In a small box with a big thumb. However, there is another idea, trying to accept this little box.

He only felt that he was abusing himself, he was testing himself, he was restricting himself, so he couldn't help thinking: why should he treat himself like this?

The prostitute Gao Chuan certainly remembers how he thought and what factors motivated him to make a decision before things became like this. Until Sanxian Island completely took over the prostitute, he remembered clearly. He even remembered that he had already made a deep awakening. However, his soberness now made him feel the ignorance of his consciousness at that time. He didn't feel sorry for all this, but it was definitely not a "just like this" feeling.

Today's feelings are not good at all. Rather, it is completely a kind of pain, which is many times more painful than the pain caused by any encounter in the past. That is not physical pain, not mental pain, but a kind of pain that comes from the depth of self-knowledge, it is the pain of thought. As long as you are still thinking, you can't cut off the pain.

There are so crazy and unreasonable things that are depriving him of "Gao Chuan" hope. He seemed to be able to hear a deep voice question in his heart, and the things visible in front of him, whether they were understandable or not, seemed to be losing their surface form, revealing an inevitable mechanism, as if in Tell him the essence of this movement. He also saw many hallucinations, each of which was melted in a complex and ruthless movement that he could not describe with words.

"I, I'm melting ..." The prosthesis Gao Chuan murmured. He looked at the prosthesis image in the self-examination. The appearance of the prosthesis was like a candle melting. The deformed state did not let him die.

Prostitute Gao Chuan can't feel his death, but madness, fear, and despair seem to be enhanced to such an extent that he can't feel his "death", as if he will always bear this terrible madness. Everything and live. He will continue to live in pain until he gives up the behavior of "self-imposed", until he gives up the narrow self-awareness of "Gaochuan".

The prosthesis Gaochuan can clearly feel that everything used to maintain self-perception as "Gaochuan" is collapsing in an orderly manner, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, but it will not stop. When it completely collapsed, he was no longer "Gao Chuan", but it was not death, but just changed, changed into another form and continued to complete the movement under that form-when he imagined the scene, even I ca n’t imagine it, there is a feeling of relief, as if the end point I most want to reach is not to become a super Gaochuan, not to save anyone, but to be freed from the responsibility that I have given myself, from the "Gaochuan" A narrow, limited sense of detachment.

The prosthetic body Gaochuan saw that his shape was still changing during self-testing. "Melting" is definitely not the last change. After "melting", new shapes are being generated, which is by no means humanoid, but it cannot be described. , What kind of shape is that? The outline of the melted part is not clear, as if it is not a solid substance that is hard, but a wonderful phenomenon like thunder and lightning. UU reading books www.uukanshu.com But it is by no means ordinary in nature. Natural phenomenon.

He can feel from this faintly deformed silhouette that after he becomes like that, he can become any kind of image, and even he can change back to the image of "Gaochuan", but there is also a deep heart The voice of Chu told him that by that time, no matter how long the image and Gao Chuan had been, it was definitely not "Gao Chuan" in it, or even "Human".

"I will not die. I have neither been born nor disappeared. I will only change from one way to another, from one form to another, from one movement to another. Constantly changing ... changing ... "Takagawa murmured.

In this terrible process, the prosthetic body Gao Chuan thought of countless ways to try to keep himself as it is. The last straw he finally caught was also the foundation of Gaochuan's personality mechanism-the responsibility he imposed on himself.

No matter whether the essence of "Gaochuan" as a subject has such a responsibility, but when "Gaochuan" is a person, maintaining the center of the personality of "Gaochuan" is the promise made by Gaochuan himself.

"--I want to be a hero." The prosthetic body Gao Chuan muttered to himself, and his lost and lost eyes re-condensed, making his loose pupils brighten, and the facial features that had begun to melt gradually regained their faces Emerge. Most of the prosthesis as a human figure has melted and deformed, but the last remaining head, before it was completely melted and deformed, has re-solidified again and continues to exist like the "head of Gaochuan".

At this moment, his image is like a gray-black statue with a human head but no body, no hands or feet, a torso that is indistinguishable, full of twists, strange and disgusting.