Restricted Doomsday Syndrome

If you do n’t enter the world of repeaters, you ca n’t touch the mysterious mechanism of the repeaters, maybe you ca n’t enter this nightmare world, and you ca n’t really get in touch with the spiritual integration device-if I ’m not directly involved in the world of repeaters, Then, the rivet's roundabout approach through the ruling bureau was correct. It really made a considerable degree of preparation for the trouble we faced. The relevant information was also obtained from the doomsday truth. (Top) (Point) Novel: om

Through the Las Vegas building that seems to be connected to the nightmare world, it should be impossible to reach the nightmare world directly. That kind of connection may just be an illusion, because I stand on the streets of this nightmare world, overlooking the upside down city above my head. , And did not see any connected places-maybe just invisible, but I prefer, there is no such channel at all, there is only a channel directly into the world of repeaters, but the team is not Knowing this channel, the situation of me, John Bull and Zuo Chuan is just a special case. Of course, there may also be people who understand this channel, quietly entering the world of repeaters in a proactive way. Carmen should have come through the channel of doomsday truth, but I did not forget that at the time he mentioned that there were mysterious experts who used some channel to enter the world of repeaters faster than the team, and these Like Carmen, people have been preparing for the spread of "mystery".

Therefore, the people who have arrived in the world of Las Vegas repeaters should be divided into three parts: the doomsday truth religion, and the joint team of the 51st district (the 51th district has a small proportion, just some defeated soldiers), and A group of mysterious experts acting independently. I used to be in the second category, but now, I might prefer the third category.

I quickly found the building that I climbed to reach the upside-down city when I first entered Las Vegas. Sure enough, as expected, there is nothing special about it in this nightmare. What we saw in the ruins of Las Vegas at that time, maybe a phantom, a trap. Although it is not clear why the Nazis were so arranged. What is the meaning of this "visible but inaccessible upside-down city scene", or just a lack of technology, in short, from the results, we still have reached the necessary link in the strategy plan- Enter the world of repeaters.

At this time, I entered the nightmare city. Based on the above assumptions, it is probably the second necessary part of the strategy plan. In the time before and after, someone should arrive here one after another. Maybe not just mysterious experts, but even ordinary people will be involved. Time can prove everything. Before more changes occur, all I can do is just to wait and see the changes.

I wandered in the nightmare city for a long time and wanted to run into something. Whether it is human or non-human, whether it is a mysterious expert or ordinary people, or monsters and demons. It's better than staying alone in this empty, lonely and deserted city, with no clue. The boring situation is better. However, before finding those things, I woke up suddenly. There was no sign, the scenes in the nightmare, and what I saw when I suddenly opened my eyes, a strong sense of violation was produced. However, this "wake up" feeling is strong enough to remind me that everything I experienced in the nightmare was really just a "dream". The ceiling seen at this time is the more real thing-no, maybe it can only be said that it is relatively real ... No, it should be, in this doomsday illusion, whether it is the outside world or the world of repeaters, medium The nightmare in the world of relays is good. Everyone is the same thing. None of this can be said to be completely false, nor can it be called true.

I began to feel that the line between "truth" and "illusion" has become more and more blurred, and I know that this is something that cannot be done. I dare not be sure of the authenticity of "hospital reality", how can I go about How clear is the situation in Doomsday Realm? When I think about it this way, I feel very exhausted, even if the clock has reached ten o'clock the next morning, according to the time, I should have slept nine hours, even if dreaming means that the quality of sleep is not high, but There will be no such heavy fatigue.

My brain seemed to be blocked by something, and I felt a little difficult to breathe, as if I felt uncomfortable in a nightmare, and I brought it out after waking up.

If Dr. Ruan Li knew that I would have this nightmare and felt this way, the decision she had made before to stop the foot was undoubtedly prescient. However, even if it was just by mistake, it made me no longer have the feeling of resistance last night. I know that my current state is really bad. This "bad" is caused by nightmares. However, some of the reasons for nightmares also come from me. From the perspective of Dr. Ruan Li, this must be a further manifestation of my "mental state deterioration", and her view is not completely nonsense from the perspective of doomsday syndrome.

After all, doomsday illusions and everything in the doomsday illusions, including the stories that occurred around the repeater, and the "nightmare" I did, are the mapping of the disease of the patients with the doomsday syndrome to the ideology. , Then, "Because I am a mental patient, for some reason my condition deteriorates, so I will have nightmares, and then I will get worse and worse because of this nightmare", "Because I am a mental patient, I will look at It ’s also very correct to say that weird hallucinations produce various delusions.

Dr. Ruan Li plays the role of a psychologist and an ordinary person. Her perspective on things is very different from my perspective. There are many ideas that have diverged from the beginning, but this does not mean that what she got The conclusion is completely wrong. Although I feel that the decision made by Dr. Ruan Li based on his own position has caused me a lot of trouble, but in many judgments, her views are more simple, or more realistic.

Of course, I can regard my current abnormal state as a series of negative phenomena caused by the spread of "mystery" and the formation of nightmares. I think that it is because of a dangerous situation that it affects me, and I have to do something, and I think it is natural to understand the current situation in this way. But this does not mean. Dr. Ruan Li holds himself, "Because Gao Chuan is a mental patient, he will see those things and view the world from that wrong angle. It is not the world that makes the mistake, but Gao Chuan himself" is wrong.

The most fundamental differences between us are:

"Does the end of the world really exist."

as well as--

"It is the end of the world that causes Gao Chuan's own mental illness." Or, "Just because Gao Chuan is a mental patient, he feels that the world is coming to an end. Everything he sees on his own is just because he can no longer distinguish reality, hallucinations, delusions and nightmares."

Among the above differences, the conclusion that "Gaochuan is a mental patient" is consistent.

Therefore, the conclusions drawn by Dr. Ruan Li on the basis of "Gao Chuan is a mental patient" are what I must face squarely and accept. If it is simply that "Dr. Ruan Li is wrong, she does not understand me". Will make me feel stupid. In this long and unexpected adventure of consciousness, I did not fail to try enough to look at my own problems from the perspective similar to Dr. Ruan Li. And the conclusions made in this way are also full of temptations, which make people feel real and make people feel relieved-

Indeed, if I think that it is happening, I have to do these things. It's just my delusions of mental illness, and the real me. In fact, living in an ordinary and normal world, then, in this "delusion", those tragic things must have been false, haven't they happened. From this perspective. Zhenjiang, Misaki, Bajing, Marceau, Seise and Dorothy, they may still be alive and well, at least, it should be more than what they encountered in the delusion of the "end of the world caused by the virus" Much better.

But I finally abandoned this idea. A long time ago, the reason for abandoning this idea may have been mixed with a lot of selfishness, such as:

——In fact, I am longing for this exciting life. Although it is not completely beautiful, it is full of heroism and makes me feel strongly that there is something in this world that I must bear, and there is only Things you can do.

——Even if it is the end of the world, he is a special one. In this part of fate, he shoulders an important mission.

Thoughts such as this make me unwilling to admit that "the end of the world" is just a delusion, and it also makes me think that "hospital reality" is also unrealistic. Yes, initially, these thoughts full of selfishness and selfish desires were probably the important factors that prevented me from denying Dr. Ruan Li's perspective.

However, this is no longer the case.

I hope all this is my own delusion, a delusion of a mental patient. In fact, the real Zhenjiang, the file file, the colleagues of the network ball, and the patients with doomsday syndrome all over the world are in a common daily environment Live well. The "virus" that caused all anomalies was just a "conjecture" created under negative emotions based on my mental illness. Then, when I "recognize the reality", everything will end-it will be a world where no one dies, but I must live as a mental patient. But what about that? I will become even more tragic, because even in this world of doomsday, I am also a mental patient. On the contrary, if you only need to admit that "everything is your own spiritual delusion", you can make all the pain, anomalies, and losses that I have seen disappear, then it is probably a good ending.

However, it can't be done now.

Because, I ’m scared, I ca n’t tell whether it ’s all delusional or real—if the “virus” is real, everything caused by the “virus” is true, then admit that “everything is a mental patient "Paranoia", you will really lose everything. But I couldn't find any evidence to prove that "all these are just the delusions of mental patients".

Without evidence, I cannot deny that what is happening today is the possibility of "real". Therefore, we must regard it as "true" and do more things. Because, in doing so, it is the least harmful of all trade-offs.

Suppose that what I regard as "truth" is really just "delusion", then everything I do has no effect on the true "truth". It will not hurt the happy, beautiful and ordinary life of people like "True Zhenjiang", but I am only struggling in this boundless endless reincarnation. Perhaps, in the eyes of others, this is a very sad ending, but for me. It is very beautiful. Only myself is sinking. For me who decides to give everything to save them, what's so scary about me?

However, it is assumed that "everything is the delusion of a mental patient" is the real delusion, and ignores the current abnormality caused by the "virus" and is immersed in that delusion. There will definitely be things that make you extremely regretful.

Therefore, in fact, I can no longer face the possibility that "everything is the delusion of a mental patient". I was afraid that one day, I couldn't bear the temptation to believe this possibility, and implicated Miyake, Bajing, Marceau, Seise and Dorothy ... and "Jiang" they had unpredictable consequences.

From the perspective of Dr. Ruan Li, to me, it looks like a sweet poison. However, I cannot deny its possibility. It is just not possible to face up to this possibility. It is not non-existent, but it is deeply buried in my heart, and has never been abandoned. Then, when this possibility is presented to me in the form of "the judgment and conclusion made by Dr. Ruan Li as an ordinary person from this perspective", it is considered a compromise.

At least, I don't hate this situation. Because, Dr. Ruan Li's observation of me. For me, it is another way to prove that "everyone is living well".

I took off the vest I didn't know when it was wet with sweat. The temperature maintained by the air conditioner gradually made me feel cool. I changed into a set of pajamas, pulled the curtains open, and the room suddenly brightened. The house is very quiet, because I am alone, so it is slightly empty, compared with that nightmare city. But it is full of breath of life, making people feel clearly that they are not alone. Waking up from a nightmare, I just feel more sensitive to this breath. There is a breakfast that has been cooled down and needs to be reheated, and Dr. Ruan Li's message on the dinner table. There is no important information. Just told me not to leave home as much as possible. When she went out, she had locked the door.

I tried it, as it was, it couldn't be opened from inside. The window is still open. In terms of ordinary people, there is no need to care that someone can go out of the window, because the outside is a smooth and vertical wall, which is extremely high from the ground, and it is not ordinary people can climb. However, it is not challenging for the "Magic Embasser Gao Chuan".

However, since Dr. Ruan Li has done so much work, I do not intend to go against her will, unless there is an abnormality outside that must be brought out personally by me. Now, let me take a break for now. I took breakfast out of the microwave calmly and enjoyed the daily life of ordinary people after nightmares. I suddenly found myself staying at home, and I didn't have much to do. Maybe I can watch movies, read novels, and study the combat equipment that I will use in the future, but I just turn on the stereo and listen to the jazz collected by Dr. Ruan Li, sitting quietly on the sofa.

After a while, I suddenly heard footsteps ringing in the back. I looked back and found nothing. At this moment, the footsteps changed place, it seemed to be on the side of the bedroom. I listened carefully, and the footsteps were gone. If you put it in the eyes of ordinary people, this is probably a suspicious situation, because in common sense logic, this voice should not appear, but for me, it is already used to it. The anomaly surrounds me. This kind of life seems to have been for a long time. However, the time in the doomsday illusion where I was born and the reality in the hospital is only one or two years. It's just like a stormy sea, full of unexpected, vicious and turning experiences, which makes people feel the illusion of time-in the ideological world, this situation is actually very common when there are dramatic fluctuations on the conscious level.

I knocked **** the coffee table, and the noise drove out the anomaly for a while, as if the thief was scared back, but after a while, the footsteps sounded again, this time very close. I suddenly realized that from the first time I heard this footstep sound, and then I heard the footstep sound again, although the direction and position of the three times are different, but the distance is closer and closer to myself. The goal seemed to be me, and I couldn't help thinking about it. At the next moment, the distorted murmur from the sound sounded like it was going to be broken. It made me feel an impetuous emotion at the bottom of my heart, a kind of huge emotion similar to that produced in a nightmare. Rolling around, inflating, as if to break through the feeling of restraining their bodies.

I started to have tinnitus, dizziness, and my nostrils seemed to be burning. I wiped it, and blood stains appeared on the back of my hand. That thing is behind me, it feels very close, but it is difficult to judge how close it is. A strong intuition made me choose not to look back, but to start a quick swipe at the first time, and distance from the things behind me. I broke into the study and did not close the door. The time didn't even pass for a second. At this time, I turned my head to look at the abnormal location, but found that there was nothing there. However, the sound returned to normal, and the low-pitched blues chanted like it had never been disrupted, and the swell of emotion in my heart was gone. I raised my hand and looked at the back of the hand. The blood on it proved that the previous encounter was not an illusion.

There is really some kind of weirdness here. It may hurt me unintentionally or intentionally, but in any case, it is not a good thing to get along with. I prefer to believe that this weirdness is full of aggression. I don't know what it is, but the house is filled with an uncoordinated atmosphere, as if suddenly cold. The warm and bright tones had changed abruptly, and it reminded me of the somber gray tones in the nightmare. This home, like suddenly, becomes a "ghost house" commonly seen in occultism.

Even if the bright sunlight outside the window is not covered by curtains, when it reaches the room, it seems to lose vitality. The dim feeling is reminiscent of the dusk in the deep mountains. Large shadows spread on the ground, so thick that they seem to turn things into two kinds of feelings: "a little dark" and "dark", and there are only these two feelings.

I ca n’t feel the source of the abnormality, but logically, it should be caused by the weirdness of the footsteps. The problem is that I ca n’t see the weird essence, and I ca n’t find a solution to the current problem for the time being- — The easiest response is to open the window and jump out, but I do n’t want to be so embarrassed in my own home. I subconsciously touched the waist, but suddenly realized that the knife-shaped critical weapon was not around. Moreover, what makes people more concerned is that until now, I realized that when I returned to the world of repeaters, the knife-shaped critical weapon was no longer around.

I'm wearing pajamas, and I don't have any weapons to defend and attack all over my body ~ www.readwn.com ~ even a knife. That weirdness is still nearby, but I still tentatively walk towards my bedroom. Compared to the props in the kitchen, I believe in the props in my room. Moreover, the footsteps sounded before, I think, will it also look for something there.

The atmosphere became gloomy and weird, and the haze of the environment contrary to common sense was enough to prove that the weirdness had not yet gone. Because it is possible to be attacked at any time, and this kind of attack is nowhere to be found, which also means that quick swept cannot let me evade before being attacked. This kind of mental attack has the smell of Las Vegas City in a very nightmare. I suspect that this thing comes from the nightmare. Perhaps it was because I had entered that place that it could reach this side.

If this speculation is true, then, once people continue to enter that nightmare in the future, we will continue to get rid of weirdness. Is this situation also a sign of "mysterious" enlargement? I do n’t believe it at all. The strangeness of attacking me at this time has nothing to do with me. In occultism, if weird things are brought out of weird places, it proves that there is a clear and direct relationship between the weird things and the people involved. Perhaps this relationship will be overshadowed by too much information and emotions, but it must exist, and this relationship reflects this weird essence.

In this world, there is no accident for no reason. (To be continued ...)