PS I'm Over You

Have you ever wondered why people fall in love? Why is it that you encountered one person that will instantly turn your world upside down? Why can't we teach our own hearts to love someone without going crazy? Why can't we love without getting hurt at all?

Every single day we encountered new people and let them become a part of our lives whether we like it or not.

She fell hard, so hard that she knew she couldn't do anything about the unrequited love that trapped her.

Do you know how it feels to see your loved one with someone else? Have you spent so many sleepless nights crying over that person?

Have you tried forcing yourself to believe that you will get over it by running away? Why can't you stop loving that person? Why can't that person return those special feeling you have for them?

He was like a ruthless barbarian, trespassing her lands and conquering everything that she had. She was jailed and tortured by this man. Unforgiving—destroying every wall and protection that she built for several years. Taking everything that she had: claiming her body, her mind… her life.

Ririna knew it was useless to run away. Every turn she took, every move she made… everything reminded her of him. Like a restless ghost haunting her, refusing to let her forget. There were so many times she found herself holding her breath, staring at him from a faraway distance. Her heart clenched at the thought that he could never be hers. She was just like a wind that he would never notice. Why? Why was loving him the most painful thing she should suffer?

He raised her as his private assassin. She suffered from so many painful training to learn the art of torture and had done so many nerve-racking missions. However, those were less painful than loving him. These feelings that she has for him—why couldn't she stop loving him? Why was forgetting him almost next to impossible?

She's a fool. A fool who fell for someone so dangerous that it could kill her. She admitted—only to herself—that she still loved him, but the thought of meeting him terrified her. He might get suspicious. He might find out that she deceived him to get her freedom by taking advantage of Karissa's assassination plan.

On the night she had left his side, the paranoid and selfish fiancée of his attacked her while she was on her way to the nearest airport. Suffering from a severe third-degree burn that tarnished her left shoulder and arm, she managed to fake her medical records with the help of Ginny's influence.

Pretending that she suffered from amnesia—losing her memories due to the head injury she got, she redeemed her instant freedom from Eli. If Eli saw her now, she's not sure if she could stay calm in his presence. Seeing the man she loved—knowing that he would never return her feelings would be another type of torture for her.

She knew. Yes, she knew. He never did and would never love her.

It didn't matter how many nights they spent in each other's arms, sharing passionate kisses and making love. It was just sex for him. A desire that needed to be satisfied. She made love to him—gave everything she had: body, mind, and soul. She loved him so much even if it hurt. He said so himself—that he was incapable of love, that she's just another woman to share and warm his bed. No matter how it broke her already-shattered heart, she complied. During their first night together, Eli made it clear to her that she was his. His woman. No other man could have her aside from himself; if she so wished to be free from him, she could only kill herself.

Such possessiveness and the clear warning from his voice sent shivers down her spine. His clear eyes and intimidating aura told her this man would rather see her dead than share her with others.

There were times she almost told him 'I love you' and 'you don't have to love me because I love you too much that it will be enough for both of us.' She left him, trying to save her child with the remaining dignity she had for herself. Only in her dreams could she express the feelings she was trying to kill within.

She could never defy him, not until she got someone to protect. Even a lioness would bare her fangs at anyone who dared to hurt her cub. She would never hesitate to kill once more if needed, but could she fight the lion who fathered her child? There were so many enemies lurking around, waiting for her to make a mistake. Not that she's worried that they could beat her—she was actually excited to see and play with her preys.

Unbeknownst to these fools, a lioness was stronger when she had something to protect. Although she's a fool who fell in love with a monster, she wasn't stupid enough to endanger her own child. Aya's suggestion would serve as a death warrant from the grim reaper himself. That man was so possessive; he would surely find out when she's with another man. 'Thank you very much' but she didn't want to die yet. She hadn't prepared her last will and picked her own headstone yet.

When she prematurely gave birth to Skyler four years ago, the resemblance between the two almost made her cry. She was so happy to see her newborn son, and yet it was also too painful that he reminded her of his father. The process of forgetting him instantly drained from every will she had.

Of course, she couldn't blame her son for inheriting his father's features. His dark silky locks and gray eyes would sure prove that he was his blood kin. No DNA testing needed.

She sighed.

There's no point thinking about him at this time. Ririna looked at the reflection of herself in the windows and praised Erica's eagerness to find a suitable place for her new business office. Although she was mostly known as an artist who made well-known paintings and sculptures, her business now was to gather the stocks of her father's company little by little.

Only by provoking the hyenas in their territory would she have an opening to find out who really was behind the death of her mother.