Yan Xi wondered if it had been so long that she had not been in a relationship, so that she had forgotten what it was like.

Her hazy liking in high school was just writing notes in class, boys gave her tapes, gave her ice cream, and shouted her name after winning the game on the court. At that time, she couldn't restrain her smile.

She met Gao Jiming, which was her first love in the true sense. She originally thought that she was not a delicate girl, but after meeting him, she experienced both joy and sadness.

And this time, she and Liao Chengyu are getting along more like friends. They can chat well, and many of their views do not have great differences, they are plain and sincere. Comfort is comfortable, but I always feel that something is missing. Yan Xi is puzzled. Maybe now that I am getting older, the emotional fluctuations are not as strong as before? Maybe it's like the saying "whatever is plain is true?"

Yan Xi's concept of finding a partner before she met Gao Jiming has always been to make her tempted. She has lived in an environment with more male members since she was a child. His grandfather, talented, kind, and kind, had a deep love for her grandmother for fifty years. He was the most beautiful love she had ever seen.

Her brothers, such as her straight older brother with slightly more cancer, the dull second brother, and the sissy third brother, although they each have their own faults, they are all good men who treat their partners very well. . Although Yanyin Nanjiao has many girlfriends, he is basically the one who was dumped.

She didn't have much impression of her parents who died early, but she learned from the family's account that her parents were also very loving.

So when Yan Xi and Gao Jiming's love affair failed, Yan Xi fell into a state of sluggishness for a long time. Gao Jiming couldn't give her a sense of security while moving her heart. If there was no peace by her side, she might not recover so quickly.

In the few months that she was with Liao Chengyu, the two felt that they were in perfect harmony, but she just didn't have that kind of heart-warming feeling. Yan Xi often analyzes herself late at night. What are her emotional needs? Why even her second brother is very clear about what he loves and what he wants, but she is confused now, and she can't think of when the last time she felt emotional.

Yan Xi couldn't remember what happened when she was 5 years old. She only knew that she was very happy. Her brothers said she was arrogant and naughty like a little bully. When she was five years old, her parents had an accident, and she didn't know much about it. The family only told her that her parents had gone away.

Until she was six years old, at the kindergarten's Children's Day celebration, she was wearing a pink dress waiting for her grandpa to buy her a popsicle. A little girl in the same class was hugged by her mother, and the two looked at each other giggling. The young mother leaned down and kissed her cheek, on the left and right, and hugged her up and down.

Six-year-old Yan Xi looked at him in a daze, and suddenly began to sob. When Grandpa Yan came back, she was crying on the spot. When I got home, I cried for a long time, and kept shouting: "I want my mother, I want my mother..."

That was the first time she understood death.

Because there were many men in the family, Yan Xi did not feel that there was a lack of fatherly love. But when she was a child, she envied her classmates for having a mother for a long time. Although Grandma Yan loved her very much, she would be separated by Yan Yixi and Yan Yinan, which would take a lot of her energy and attention.

For a while, she was even more naughty, hitting her brothers, destroying the flowers and plants raised by her grandfather, and destroying her grandma's piano, just to attract and occupy their attention.

The second elder of the Yan family and his older brothers were worried for a while, and they were afraid that Yan Xi would become crooked. Grandma Yan took her almost all the time. She is a gentle, elegant and feminine woman. Yan Xi likes her to hold herself on her knees and reason with her softly, talk to her and tell stories.

She enjoyed that kind of maternal care, but Yan Xi always felt that there was a lack of space in her heart, until one day, she entered her parents' room and found a bottle of Kai's lotion that had not been used up on the dresser. This is the only memory her mother left her.

Yan Xi later felt that in the process of growing up, she did not lack experience in getting along with men, but with women. When she was in junior high school, because Liu Yiyi went abroad to study, she had been looking forward to making best friends since the beginning of school, but unfortunately it backfired. I didn't have very good female friends in college, but it was a lot of bad experiences.

I didn't expect that now, all the girls on the Internet now call her little sister, say something about marrying her, etc., and ask her for an autograph. At the age of 30, Yan Xi felt that she still didn't understand many things, about the world, herself, and Anzhi.

An Zhi has become estranged from her recently, and she doesn't know whether it is because she feels that she is alienated as an adult when she is a teenager, or because she is preparing for the competition and has to deal with homework, so she is too busy.

Yan Xi wanted to find a time to have a good chat with her, but she was busy recently, and she felt that Liao Chengyu was becoming more and more ambiguous to her recently.

One night they were going to the movies and came out of the movie theater when it happened to rain. Rainy night, cinema. There was a young couple in front of them, the girl was holding the boy's arm, the boy looked at her with a smile, bowed his head and kissed intimately.

Just when Yan Xi felt that the young feelings were really pure and lovely, Liao Chengyu reached out his warm hand and held hers.

Yan Xi was stunned for a while, her first reaction was strange, she thought about it, but she still didn't break free, it wasn't unbearable.

She was led by him for a while. The man's palm was warm, with a thick feeling of thin calluses. But Yan Xi didn't have any special feeling in his heart, he just felt that it was just a pair of human hands.

The two walked silently for a while. Liao Chengyu suddenly whispered her name, "Yan Xi..."

Yan Xi was distracted at first, when he heard her name, he subconsciously said "um" and turned his head to look at him.

Yan Xi was startled, and subconsciously turned his face away, Liao Chengyu's lips fell on her cheek.

Yan Xi frowned and took a step back.

Seeing her obviously displeased expression and restrained by her upbringing, Liao Chengyu apologized embarrassingly: "I'm sorry."

Yan Xi sank her emotions and didn't know what to say, she shook her head and continued walking.

Liao Chengyu caught up with her embarrassedly, "I'm sorry, I can't help myself, Yan Xi, I find that I like you more and more."

Yan Xi glanced back at him embarrassedly.

Liao Chengyu knew that she might say something he didn't like to hear, "I'm sorry, I promise not to next time."

Yan Xi endured and felt that he should not make a fuss, so he nodded.

After this incident, Liao Chengyu apologized to her several times, but Yan Xi actually wanted to forget about it. She began to feel that the "trying to get along" model between them would not work, and it was unfair to him. But Liao Chengyu must have read her mind and said something that he didn't care about.

Yan Xi endured. When her grandmother was awake last time, Yan Xi was silent again from the reassuring smile that her family heard that she was in love.

On the night of her 30th birthday, Yan Xi agreed that Liao Chengyu would help her celebrate the birthday. She put on light makeup and wore a light blue dress at home. Grab a bag and walk out of the room.

An Zhi was in the kitchen, Yan Xi came in and told her about the matter. She put her long curly hair in the back of her head, her sideburns curled down to the side of her face, her skin was white, her temperament was gentle and gentle, and she was holding a long skirt in one hand, which was incredibly beautiful. thing.

"Is the preliminaries coming soon?" Yan Xi asked her.

"Well, after the National Day. It's a bit later this year." An Zhi didn't dare to look at her, and answered without looking away.

Time is fast, An Zhi has reached the first semester of the third year of high school. She hesitated and asked, "Auntie, are you in a hurry to leave?"

"Don't worry, what's the matter?" Yan Xi asked softly.

In the past few months, she has been busy, and Anzhi is also busy. In the evening, when she came back to Anzhi, she went to bed early, and the daily phone calls were no longer continued. During the summer vacation, An Zhi even accompanied Yan's grandfather and Yan to go to the temple where he often went to escape the summer, and the two of them hadn't seen each other for more than two months. After You Qi passed her fifteenth birthday, Yan Xi felt that she became more and more quiet, less talkative, and turned into a teenager who completely refused to communicate.

Yan Xi always felt that something was wrong and couldn't say it. I can only follow her, give her free space, and wait for her to take the initiative to communicate with me.

"I'm thinking, I want to move to the school." An Zhi felt that this period of time was too tormenting for her, and she didn't dare to live in the same room with her, so she tried her best to avoid it. Going to school is usually fine, but at the beginning of the summer vacation, An Zhi seized the opportunity to go to the temple with Grandpa Yan and Grandma Yan to escape the summer. In a place far away from the city due to the mountains, she couldn't see Yan Xi, she missed her madly, and even thought about the plot of her love.

Seeing pain, not seeing pain.

An Zhi felt that she had to move to the school, maybe in a better environment. Another point, Yan Xi and that man have been in love for a long time, maybe they will have the personal space they need. An Zhi was afraid that Yan Xi would bring that Liao Chengyu home.

Yan Xi didn't care about her anymore. She wasn't by her side for so long during the summer vacation, and they didn't talk on the phone for so long. Yan Xi didn't seem to care either.

And there was nothing she could do, and she couldn't be coquettish with her like before. Saying this, she didn't dare to look up at Yan Xi.

Yan Xi didn't speak for a while, An Zhi looked up at her uneasily.

Yan Xi frowned, "Do you want to move to the school?"

An Zhi lightly bit her lower lip and nodded with difficulty.

"Why? It's not good at home. You say it's because of the third year of high school, I don't believe it." Yan Xi was puzzled. Is it because it was for the convenience of getting along with Xu Jiaer? She would make a phone call first to ask her head teacher if Xu Jiaer was also staying.

Her hair was already very long, black and soft, tied with a tail, revealing small and white ears.

Yan Xi frowned, was she forcing her too much, or else...

"I think, you are now um... Will I disturb you at home?" An Zhi looked at her with a faint gaze, and after saying this in a low voice, she lowered her head again.

Yan Xi suddenly froze.

Suddenly I realized what I had overlooked.

The author has something to say: I want to say a few words for Yanxi here, she is not too old, especially when she is around the sensitive age of 30, when she is more or less confused, she is not so strong, not so Thoughtful, everything can be handled rationally.

Don't forget that she has been bullied and isolated. She lost her parents when she was young and was hurt in love.

Someone asked me why I should arrange the plot of love, it is very simple, the plot needs it.

And I have been paving the stalk for a long time, since the name "Liao Chengyu" came out, it is paving, so this is a plot of smooth sailing.

Why would Yan Xi agree? Very simple, she is 30 years old, she has not dated for ten years, and has not been in love. And her grandparents are getting old. The first is the pressure of age. How big is the pressure of 30 years old? I don’t think even people who are 26-27-28 can really appreciate it, let alone those under 26 years old, let alone junior high school and high school students.

I'm not betraying the old, (well, a little bit), it's also possible that your young body will get an old soul, but you won't understand the feeling of anxiety that your hair will burn out without pain.

When you were a student, when you were still in your early 20s, you might have said that when I was 30, what would happen to me, and even when you were lazy, you would think that it is not yet 30, so don’t work too hard. When I was 29, my heart sank for a while, the job was not stable, the house was not yet, I was even single, and even my face was getting old. Every day is the youngest day, and every day is the old day.

Yan Xi is okay, has a successful career, has a house and a car, is gentle and beautiful. What is she missing? There is a lack of people who can talk to her and chat with her soul and body. Although she loves Taotao, she has not yet reached another kind of love. At this time, someone she doesn't hate appears, and the other party pursues it unremittingly, even for that's sake, won't you try to get along? ? Besides, they still start from the most common friend mode.

There is another point that no one has noticed. You look back. Is there a reason why she chose Liao Chengyu because of Tao Tao? Because Liao Chengyu can accept Tao Tao, because he will not gossip about Tao Tao's life experience.

Tao Tao has always been in her heart.

Maybe some children will say: lights. I understand the reasoning, but I just can't bear to see Yanxi fall in love with others, not even holding hands!

Well, back then, so many of you were worried that I couldn't write a good emotional line, but now I've finally managed to spread the stalk, and I've started to dig my way forward, and you're not with me anymore. He also said to wait for the sweet part, but you won't find the details if you jump over it. You don't have the patience to find the little desserts in each chapter. You may come and ask me at that time: Deng, is the emotional line too abrupt? Why did you kiss without saying a word?

You say, is this the truth? Am I aggrieved or not?

In your Hong Kong, people have been reading pirated texts and hanging in front of me all day long. I am depressed enough and aggrieved. I can't bear it even if I'm old, is that the truth?

I'd rather you read them all, and then confidently slap me in front of me: Lamp! You just didn't write it well. For example...

I think it might be acceptable! (perhaps…)

(Lights at 3:30 a.m. on June 29)

(Cultivation can't sleep, I wrote a long review for myself)

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