Only Villains Do That

I sort of had to let them come inside after that. These were proud people, leaders among their tribe, who’d come here to humble themselves and beg for aid; I couldn’t exactly make them stand out there in the snow and do it. I might’ve done that to somebody who needed to be put in their place but I had clearly made my point to these folks long since.

And since they were inside anyway, I provided them a generous helping of dinner and a seat at my table. Well, at least, Zui darted ahead of me to arrange that and I saw no reason to contradict her. If you’re going to offer someone hospitality anyway, you’d better offer them proper hospitality or you’ll just look like an uncivilized assclown. Besides, their awed bemusement at this sudden charity was frankly amusing.

Hey, I’ve never claimed not to be an asshole.

“So, what is it you need saving from?” I asked once everyone was seated and had a plate in front of them. The three cat people fit easily in the table at which I and the rest of my leadership council sat. Ordinarily we tended to disperse among the rank and file, because I liked to maintain good relations between the officers and the troops, but this was a unique occasion. We were the subject of much speculative staring and blatant eavesdropping, but everyone had the sense not to interrupt at least.

Djast hesitated almost imperceptibly over a bite of stew; his daughter froze outright. Well, it stood to reason whatever desperate matter had brought them here was going to be a tricky discussion. Keszil just carried on slurping down her meal, apparently without a care in the world.

“Life in the forest has become precarious since the Inferno,” Djast said, carefully setting down his spoon. “We were fortunate in that relatively little of our village was damaged, and injuries were…mostly minor. No one was lost. However, the fire spread to our storage. A goodly portion of what we had set aside for the winter was destroyed.”

I’m not sure what he saw in my expression that prompted him to clarify, but he did so hastily.

“We would not trouble you over this, Dark Lord, nor complain about…the circumstances which led to…the event. I explain this only for context: what matters is that mine is not the only tribe thus affected, and I gather, not the worst. The great peril facing us now is that the wolf tribe has come up from the south. It seems they mean to destroy us and take our home, our supplies, and our hunting ground.”

I leaned back, glancing around at my assembled people. “Have any of you seen or heard about aggressive wolf activity?”

“I had a gathering team come back just before you returned this afternoon, Lord Seiji,” Kasser reported. “They didn’t encounter anything unusual.”

“None of my scouts have reported beastfolk snooping around, and they were looking specifically for that,” Aster added. “Though I’ve set them to looking mostly north, where the cat village is. I don’t know where the wolf village is exactly but their general territory is way south of here. Most of a day’s walk, at least at the speed you can walk through dense khora.”

“My scouts are watching them,” Djast explained. “From a distance; they will not speak or respond, and have attacked my people on sight.”

“Is that normal?” I asked.

“It is not. Our two tribes have fought in the past, during lean winters, and young hunters from both sometimes cause trouble by straying into the wrong territory. I’m sure you know how young hunters are, Dark Lord. But mostly, they have their lands and we ours; we meet at intervals to trade, and avoid one another otherwise. This is a major change, and it is only part of what signals their intent. The wolf tribe have been moving north for the last three days that I know of, Dark Lord, and their progress is so very slow because it is the entire tribe. Not just hunters and warriors, but elderly and children, the sick and the lame, all of them carrying what belongings they can.”

“They would only do that if they were forced to abandon their village entirely,” Jessak said, picking up when he paused. Her eyes were fixed on me, unblinking; I got the distinct impression she regarded me as a threat. Which was reasonable. “They mean to push us out, take what is ours, and replace us.”

“That makes little sense,” Velaven commented. “The wolves live in the forest’s center. If they were interested in conquest, they could also turn south, toward the squirrel tribe’s land. The squirrels are reclusive and peaceful; your tribe would be a far more dangerous fight.”

“I have thought long on this,” Djast answered her. “I do not know what has happened to the squirrels, or on their land. But it is significant that the wolves would turn north, and I believe this indicates their desperation, and the fact that their chief warrior is barely holding onto control. I know Rath Kadora. He would not make such an error in planning if he were in full control, but he is canny enough to compromise with the designs of his shaman and the pressures of his people. We are an overall more dangerous foe than the squirrel tribe, but a less…frightening one. Our way of fighting is one the wolves can understand and meet. They can put their warriors between us and the families.”

“That’s a point, the squirrels are scary,” Aster agreed. “Not so much dangerous as scary. They don’t like fighting, but they do like setting traps, hiding up in khora and shooting darts out of the shadows. And they use poisons. Even the King’s Guild advises members to stay out of their territory, and that’s with them being the least aggressive of the beast tribes. If you accidentally wander too close to their village you can die in pain without ever knowing why.”

“True, the squirrels know some of the same arts as our shadow scouts,” Velaven murmured. “I still would prefer to fight them, of the four beast tribes on Dount. They have the fewest fighters, the least inclination to fight, and stealth operatives cannot seize or hold territory.”

“And if you were on the move with all your most vulnerable citizens?” Djast asked her. She frowned momentarily in thought, then nodded acknowledgment. He nodded back and continued, turning back to me. “As I said, Dark Lord, I believe this to be an act of desperation. If the chieftain I know is still in control, it is barely so. Were we to fight… In terms of warriors and hunters alone, our numbers are close to even and it sounds as if mine are better fed and rested, but if all the wolves fight, their numbers are likely to prevail. In any outcome, the losses for both sides will be catastrophic.”

“And so,” I mused, “you want to align yourself with me, so that if they attack you they’ll be facing my own forces as well.”

He dipped his head once in acknowledgment, continuing to meet my gaze proudly. “I do not come to you as a beggar, Dark Lord. We are skilled hunters and craftsmen, and capable in a fight. Our allegiance will benefit you, otherwise I would not dare offer it. Nor am I proposing to lead your people into a bloody brawl. The wolves are not foolish enough to face the sorcerer who caused the Inferno, even if they don’t know you to be the Dark Lord, especially not backed by your own army and your fortress. Once they know my people are yours, I believe they will turn back.”

“Mmm.” I drummed my fingers once on the table. “How many of them are there?”

“In the tribe, a little over two hundred. Maybe fifty who are capable fighters.”

“And what about your people?”

“Roughly the same.”

“So,” I sighed, “effectively, two villages worth of people who have less than one village worth of supplies between them, going into what’s already promising to be a lean winter. That is a lot of mouths to feed.”

All three of the cats straightened up, blinking at me in evident confusion.

“He is not idly boasting, my lord,” said Velaven. “They are not dead weight. Dount’s beast tribes live closer to the land than any of us; even the noncombatants possess many useful skills.”

“Their hunters and scouts are straight up better than ours,” Aster agreed. “Plus I bet they know their way around the western forest better than anybody else; they’re the only people who actually live there. That stands to become extremely relevant when people start sniffing around looking for us out here.”

“All right, relax,” I said irritably, “I don’t need to be sold on it. Obviously we’re taking them in. I just need to figure how difficult it’s going to be. Sneppit, what’s our supply situation like?”

“This is gonna put more of a strain on our food stores,” she replied, “but still not enough of one to cause an immediate crisis. Just moving us a week or two closer to the point where we start having real problems, which’ll still be a few months out. Long as we spend that time working on the problem… Well, if we can acquire more food supplies somewhere it should tide us over. Next year’s expected to be crazy productive, thanks to the Inferno’s effect on the khora. We just gotta last till spring.”

“One of our next priorities is getting the relief supplies from Fflyrdylle and Lancor properly distributed anyway,” added Aster. “I don’t think it would be out of line to take a little off the top. That stuff is for everyone on the island, and we’re the part of everyone who won’t get help through formal channels.”

“How’s that project going, Kasser?” Nazralind asked. “The hydroponics Lord Seiji suggested?”

“Ugh.” Sneppit rolled her eyes.

“I assure you, it works,” I snapped.

“Yeah, I’m sure it works in Japan, with the kinda tech you’ve got there. I have seen the innards of that truck.”

“It’s actually way simpler than the truck,” said Kasser. “We’ve got an experimental system set up down in the tunnels; Youda’s really optimistic about it. In terms of timing, though? I don’t wanna raise expectations of getting significant results from that by midwinter. Remember, we’re still just experimenting; right now Youda’s refining the nutrient solution and we’re still not completely sure the illumination put out by light slimes is equivalent to sunlight, for purposes of plant growth. Once it works, yeah, this’ll revolutionize food production. But it’s not a short-term project.”

“Well, the cats and the wolves between them should increase our ability to gather resources from the forest,” I said, sighing. “Of course, they’re so desperate they’re going to war, so…that’s not an optimistic sign.”

“Excuse me.”

Everyone turned to look expectantly at Djast, who had entirely stopped eating to stare at us in puzzlement. As had Jessak. Keszil was still slurping down stew and looking terribly amused.

“Perhaps I have misunderstood,” the cat tribe chieftain continued. “You make it sound, Dark Lord, as if you intend to recruit the wolf tribe as well.”

“Obviously,” I replied. “What did you think I was planning to do, massacre them? You yourself made the point that they’re only doing this out of desperation. Well, they’re desperate because I burned down the forest, which I did because you forced my hand. This is our fault, Djast, and we are going to take responsibility. Everyone needs food and shelter; it makes more sense to share what we can than fight over the scraps. Now, as of your most recent intelligence, where are the wolves, and moving how fast?”

He opened his mouth and blinked twice, but after taking a second to gather himself, managed to answer with composure.

“They crossed the stream which marks the southern border of our territory at dawn this morning. In the time since, they have made poor progress; their numbers, their encumbrances and the density of the forest slows them, especially given the vulnerable and weak members they are shepherding. At the pace of their movement they will not reach North Watch until perhaps this time tomorrow. It will probably take much longer to reach my village, as I do not believe they will risk approaching the fortress and it stands directly in their path, forcing them to take a wide detour.”

“That’d put them outside the radius we actively patrol,” said Aster. “Unfortunately I can’t say whether they’d be hostile to us as we haven’t had any hunting parties in that area for them to encounter in the last few days. Djast, what were relations like between your tribes before this happened? More specifically, I’m curious how fast since the Inferno they decided to do this. Also, you said they’ve been moving for three days but only crossed into your territory this morning? Were you scouting on their lands?”

“We have shared history but prefer mostly to keep to ourselves. There has only been serious conflict in times when resources were scarce, such as now. As for their decision to go to war, the wolves’ leadership…”

I was suddenly being poked in the side. Turning a scowl to my right, I beheld Zui beckoning me closer. I leaned in with only slight irritation, because Zui was worth listening to no matter how irritating she chose to be about it.

“Gonna be trouble,” she murmured right by my ear once it was in range, her words hopefully masked by the surrounding babble of the mess hall. “Regardless of relations between the two beast tribes, the cats and the North Watch crew have very recently lost friends to each other. And this is on top of trying to integrate your people and the goblins. It’ll be dicey for a while.”

Indeed, I couldn’t help noting the people watching this table from all sides. My crusaders continued to behave; nobody appeared about to interject or even complain, but also absolutely no one looked happy to have the cats here eating with us. The expressions ranged from hostile to idly curious at best.

Still listening with half my attention to Aster and Djast’s conversation, I frowned and nodded agreement, whispering back. “Yeah, we’ll have to handle it carefully. I’ll speak with Sneppit about a detailed plan.”

“And Minifrit,” she replied, “and especially Velaven. Snep’s a logistics ace but she’s not who you want handling social problems. We’re talkin’ about integrating entire cultures with complicated histories. Perfect opportunity to utilize your pet Queen.”

I purposely did not look at Velaven; I could see her peripherally, eating dinner and watching the others talk. No sign she could hear this, but then, there wouldn’t be. Velaven usually took her meals elsewhere, often with goblins or alone; the command council didn’t typically eat together and we were the closest thing to friendly toward her that she was likely to find in North Watch.

“I’m leery of relying on her too much,” I murmured, “at least until she has demonstrated…reliability.”

Zui shot me one of those incredulously irritated looks she was so good at; her version of the Aster Look was noticeably spicier. “And how’s she gonna do that, sitting by herself in the corner? Let her prove herself. Give her jobs and let her work.”

I straightened back up, not deigning to reply. She had a point. I didn’t much care for her delivery, but it was a point worth considering.

So, classic Zui.

“All right,” I said at a more conventional volume, interjecting into a lull in Djast and Aster’s discussion of details. Even distracted talking to Zui, I’d taken in the gist. “Then we have the luxury of time, but not much. Presumably they can’t move all night, or at night, not if they’re bringing all their civilians along. Or am I mistaken?”

“The chief warrior and the shaman might either of ‘em try to force-march the families,” Keszil replied before Djast could, “but whichever suggested that would have the other use it against ‘em, and the population wouldn’t side with that idea. Knowing that full well, neither of ‘em will suggest it. I reckon they’ll deliberately set an even slower pace than necessary.”

“You’re pretty well-versed on their politics,” I observed.

“Much as an outsider can be, I expect.” Grinning, she tapped her temple. “Priestess of Memory, Dark Lord. That’s what I do. I can’t get you into their heads, but the things they might do are shaped by the things they have in the past.”

“I believe there are some very worthwhile conversations in our future, priestess,” I said thoughtfully.

“Hah! Would you look at that, a powerful young man who’s eager to listen to sense. You’re a real special boy, aren’t ya?”

Djast and Jessak both tensed up as if expecting to be Immolated on the spot. They seemed as confused as relieved that Aster and Nazralind both burst out laughing.

“So, I need a location,” I said, ignoring this scurrilous byplay with all the solemn dignity of my position as Dark Lord. “I’m looking for a relatively open spot in the path they’ll be taking, somewhere I can confront the wolves’ leaders in the open. With room for at least some of their and our forces to assemble. As much visibility as can be arranged among the khora.”

“Ooh, is it showtime?” Nazralind trilled.

“Naz, when it’s showtime, you’ll know.”

“There is such a place,” said Jessak. “A glade in the shadow of two khalthin khora, with a stream running along one edge. The place we use for trade meetings with the wolf or lizard tribes, when they are willing to hold such. It is south of this fortress, less than an hour’s walk at a brisk pace.”

“If it is confrontation you seek, it will matter who you bring, Dark Lord,” Djast agreed. “They will likely turn aside from a large force, especially one comprised of humans with crossbows. If it is a few individuals, however, I doubt they will bother; easier to bluster past that. So far as I know, the wolves have no way of knowing it is a Dark Lord they are dealing with, nor even that the Inferno was the work of a sorcerer.”

“Hmm. What do they know?”

“That a large and growing gang of organized, heavily-armed humans has gathered at North Watch,” he replied. “That my tribe confronted them and were repelled, and weakened by the encounter, on the night of the Inferno. That Shylverrael’s attention is distracted and the lizard tribe are staying firmly within their own borders. Based on the intelligence I believe the wolves have, it is the ideal time to move against the cats. They will be curious about you and yours, especially as they are planning to move into the territory around North Watch; I don’t believe they have any idea just who and what you are. As a rule, beastfolk on Dount are reluctant to fight with humans, even obvious bandits. We never know when the Kingsguard will decide to take offense.”

“So I’ll have to enlighten them, then,” I murmured. “All right, then we’d better talk timing. With the sun set and the snow coming down, they’ve probably camped for the night. We’ll move out and confront them in the morning; we should have plenty of time to reach this glade before they get there, right?”

“Easily,” Jessak confirmed, nodding.

“Then that’s the morning agenda determined. Tonight I will visit your village, Djast.”

He and Jessak both froze, and glanced at each other.

“I assume,” I continued patiently, “that you have at least some sick and injured among you. All members of the Dark Crusade receive free healing. I will also need to get a look at your setup and meet your personnel. I’ll want at least some stationed here at North Watch. You have enough housing for everyone?”

“It is…tight, but not too uncomfortable,” he said warily. “Some homes were damaged and the weather has not been conducive to large repairs. The village is mostly sound, however.”

“All right, good. I will also be stationing some of my people there, so there’s going to be some back-and-forth. We have space here in the fortress for more people, and plenty down in Kzidnak. Minifrit, Aster, work out who is needed to oversee operations at the cat village, and can be trusted not to make trouble. These are also my people now and regardless of what’s happened between us in the past, I’m not going to have them mistreated under my banner.”

“That promises to be more…complicated than integrating with the goblins,” said Minifrit, “but I believe we can find enough souls with the right disposition. Depending on how large a complement you mean to place there, we may need to cycle some people in from the outlying bandit camps.”

“Good. Be sure not to half-ass it, but I do need all this set up as quickly as possible. I’ve got a shit ton of other things across this island to take care of, starting with my next big visit to Gwyllthean.”

“Give me two days,” Sneppit promised, “and I’ll have that tram line running. If you can get the beast tribes settled in two days, at the end of it I’ll have you in Gwyllthean between dawn and breakfast.”

“I thought two days was your optimistic forecast? With the other end being as much as a week?”

“That was when it was just one variable among all the balls we’re keepin’ in the air. With the very real prospect of having all this vague beast tribe nonsense settled in that time frame? I will go down there first thing tomorrow and make sure that tram line is priority one. Two days, or I’ll let you shave my head.”

“The absolute fuck you will,” Zui barked. “I didn’t style that hair so you could wager it on a bunch of engineers being properly motivated!”

“Then what we need to have ready and waiting by tomorrow night is housing for about two hundred of the wolf tribe,” I said. “That’s…more than we can squeeze into North Watch, isn’t it.”

“Physically, we could,” said Aster, “but not in arrangements that would be remotely comfortable for anyone. We’ll pretty much have to put most of them in Kzidnak. The question is who goes where, and how.”

“Velaven,” I said, noting peripherally but not deigning to acknowledge Zui’s approving nod, “this is a politically charged idea. Your thoughts?”

The erstwhile Queen of Shylverrael delicately wiped her lips with a napkin before answering.

“The best method is to separate them. This must be done with care and a light touch, my lord. A more heavy-handed variation of the same is a means of annihilating a culture, which we must avoid doing by accident. If these people feel mistreated or oppressed, their resentment will preclude the integration you seek. The tribe itself should be housed in multiple locations, and those who will go into your direct service assigned into groups with other members of the Crusade rather than their own racial units—but, crucially, without breaking up any families or denying them the ability to see one another during their free time. The point is not to damage their existing society, but to interweave it with our own.”

“Well, we don’t really need to be all surreptitious about it since that’s pretty much what we’d have to do anyway,” said Sneppit. “There’s plenty of space in Fallencourt to house the whole wolf tribe and whatever extra cats we need to. It’s, uh, somewhat less inhabited than it was a week ago. What there is not is a single free location big enough to house all of ‘em at once. We’d have to spread various families across different locations regardless of anything else. I think this’ll actually help our extant social goals, in fact; putting beastfolk down there is a good start on getting us gobs used to having tallfolk around the city. It’s just humans and elves we’ve got tension with. Most goblins have never interacted with the beast tribes, and those that did were trading, not fighting.”

“Then it’s a plan,” I declared. “Well, it’s the outline of a plan. I’m going to have to rely upon you all and your individual expertise to hammer out the details, but that’s exactly why you’re all here. I have the utmost confidence in you. Now everybody finish your dinner. It’s gonna be a long night and a longer tomorrow.”

“It’s worth keeping in mind,” said Aster, watching me closely, “that we’re deciding things well in advance. What if the wolf tribe doesn’t want to join up?”

“Well, I’m not going to enslave them or anything, so if they really want to starve and freeze in the forest, I guess we’ll have to respect that. If they’re desperate enough to risk all their lives fighting the cats for their village, though, something tells me they won’t turn up their noses at a much better deal.”

“They are not unreasonable,” said Djast, “but you should keep in mind, Dark Lord, that they have their pride. We forest tribes all have our pride. Between the demands of the Shylver and the Fflyr, it is sometimes all we are allowed to retain.”

“It’ll depend on how our…conversation goes,” I said, picking up my spoon. “I am able to bring people under my aegis and preserve their pride in the process. I am also entirely capable of taking it from them. In my experience, once I demonstrate both of those facts, the choice makes itself.”

Keszil grunted, returning her focus to her stew. Djast just nodded slowly, his expression wary.

I could feel the weight of Jessak’s eyes on me all through the rest of dinner. Obviously, I never showed it.