Chapter 83

Chloe stood blankly for a moment, staring at Eric.

He had a face full of joy, an expression that could not hide his joy at the thought that she had finally woken up, while Chloe was expressionless.

She didn’t know how long she had been lying unconscious, what had changed, what condition her own body was in—nothing. Maybe it was because she didn’t know those things that she was showing this attitude.

Such a cold attitude.

“Why did you bring me here?”

A surprisingly calm voice came out, and Eric involuntarily drew in a breath. It was such a cold attitude that he paused momentarily though he shook his head a couple of times before coming to his senses.

“Heath didn’t have the right doctor to treat you, and it was a rural area that was not good for patients who needed immediate treatment, so I had no choice.”

“Treatment?”

Chloe laughed mischievously. She had a dry smile, not a single hint of sincerity.

“Can I be treated?”

She uttered, placing her hand on her heart. The patient must have been Chloe, but on the contrary, Eric felt a throbbing pain in his chest.

He let out a sigh.

“Chloe. Those words…”

“I am already dying, and I will die no matter what treatment is given, so is the presence of a doctor that important? I’m fine, I want to go back.”

Eric clenched his fists.

…Go back? Where? Heath? Back to that heath where she could only last a couple of months?

He pursed his lips.

“This is the only place you will go back to.”

Saying that, he grabbed her bony wrist. However, contrary to his rough movements, his grasp is soft.

“There is no going back, just here.”

The wind blew through the open window again. The wind, mixed with snowflakes, sharply brushed her cheeks, causing a gap between Eric and Chloe.

After staring at him for a moment, she shook his hand.

“I have work to do there.”

Perhaps she was talking about the newspaper. What was so important about that?! Eric tried to hold back the screams that were about to jump out of him, but he gathered his breath and calmed his mind.

“Even if you have work to do, you cannot go there.”

“Why? Why are you stopping me?”

“Because I need to save you!”

Eric finally couldn’t stand it and screamed.

D*mn it!

Even though he could clearly see Chloe’s frightened eyes, he couldn’t swallow back the words he had already said. He raised his voice more.

Because I had to save this stupid woman!

“I cannot send you back. To save you, you can never go back! Until you live…!”

“I am dying!”

Chloe didn’t lose, either. She cried out, closing her eyes tightly.

“I can’t live! There is no way to live, so how the hell are you going to save me!”

She hated that Eric kept speaking as if there was hope. Even though she was going to die anyway, she didn’t like it when he whispered that he would let her live even though death was still imminent. It was because she knew better than anyone that she had no other way.

“I was prepared to die for a long time, so it’s fine now. It’s okay to die.”

“Where is there a person who would be fine even if they died?!”

Eric screamed in shock. What a stupid, foolish woman she was!

He punched the wall with his fist and stamped his foot.

He was angry. He was so angry that he couldn’t stand it! He thought that Chloe’s acceptance of her death so calmly was what he had been doing all along, not instilling in her the will to live and not finding her bluebird.

That made him feel even more heartbroken.

If he had done it right, Chloe wouldn’t have been waiting for death like she was now.

Whoo.

He caught his breath and lifted his chin.

“I will make a mechanical heart.”

“….!”

Chloe slowly opened her eyes. Their eyes meet.

“I have all the blueprints. Now all I have to do is create it. Just make it and transplant it to you,”

“So, you’re saying I’m going to be a person who lives with a lump of scrap metal in my heart?”

“Chloe.”

She couldn’t stop the spontaneous laugh that flowed out of her mouth. A mechanical heart… did that make sense? In the first place, a heart was a thing with a soul, but he wants to put that soul in a lump of scrap metal…?

No, no. Chloe shook her head. She couldn’t accept this.

“That doesn’t make sense. It’s not the right thing to do.”

Eric’s eyes narrowed.

“Then, is it not right to live with a chunk of scrap metal attached to a broken leg?”

“That…”

She lost her words.

Taking advantage of that, Eric continued, “Leg or heart, it’s the same. It’s broken, so you fill it up with something else. That’s possible. I can do it.”

“….”

“It means I can save you.”

Chloe took a deep breath.

…She could live.

If she transplanted a mechanical heart, she could live… Chloe thought she’d rather die than to live like that. She thought that dying living according to the laws of nature was the way to get closer to God than living the rest of her life with a heart that had no soul.

“No, I don’t want it.”

She shook her head.

“I want to go back.”

Saying that, she turned her body towards the door as she wanted no further conversation, so Eric became impatient. He looked at her back and shouted.

“Don’t you have a dream, too!”

He exclaimed as he recalled what the people at the newspaper had said, how hard she had worked, how well she had done, and how much potential she had for improvement.

“I will help you make that dream come true so that you can survive and do everything!”

Chloe’s shoulders twitched. She was the one who had finally found her bluebird. She was the one who had finally decided that she would try what she did. However, it was a shame that she would die without even enjoying it for a year.

She was torn between life and death, dreams and resignation.

Turning slowly, she opened her mouth to Eric, who had a white face.

“After that…”

She paused for a moment.

What should she say? What could she say not to hurt this man? Even at this moment, she kept considering him. She was such a fool herself.

She laughed sadly.

“After that, will you break up with me?”

In the end, Chloe uttered those words even though she knew that he would be hurt. Eric’s face grew whiter. His eyes trembled, and his lips became dry.

She stared blankly at his changing face.

“…Would you want that?”

Eric asked, slowly, very slowly, approaching her.

“Do you really want to leave me?”

Chloe blinked slowly at the approaching question.

Did she? Did she really want to leave him behind? Could she leave this man whom she had loved with all her might and wanted to be loved?

“…I don’t know.”

Chloe spoke her mind.

“I don’t know anything anymore.”

She lowered her head and buried her face in her hands.

Eric went up to her and tried to touch her shoulder before withdrawing his hand and trying to stroke her back instead. Still, he withdrew his hand again and walked around her. What should he say to change her heart…?

After thinking about it several times, he spoke to her in a serious voice.

“Just know that I love you.”

Chloe slowly raised her head and gazed at Eric, witnessing the sincerity and sadness in his eyes.

“I love you so much. Please understand my efforts to save you somehow.”

…Why now?

The thought did not stop.

If he was going to be like this, love her right away… he shouldn’t drive her to death. Resentment welled up. However, the tip of the arrow of this resentment was not directed at Eric, but at Chloe herself… to her stupid, foolish self.

“I thought marriage was the most perfect and beautiful thing.”

‘Betty… Is there really nothing better than marriage?’

She thought so. Even seeing what had happened between her mother and father, she thought that only marriage could save her life.

“But it wasn’t.”

…But, it wasn’t.

“It was the most horrific and painful thing.”

Throughout her married life, Chloe has never been happy. This time, the arrow of resentment flies towards Eric.

Chloe looked up at Eric with sad eyes.

“But how can I trust you?”

“….”

“How can I rely on you?”

Eric pursed his lips.

He knew.

While he didn’t know everything about her, he did know what he had done wrong to Chloe, what he had done, and how he had hurt her. Therefore, he could not back down from here. He had to keep her by his side anyway.

“I will make it reliable.”

Eric slowly reached out his hand towards Chloe, and he hugged her.

“No, you don’t have to trust me. You can hate me endlessly, and you don’t have to accept me.”

Thump, thump.

He could feel her heart beating slowly.

He closed his eyes, feeling her irregular heartbeat. Gradually, the hand that was holding Chloe was getting stronger.

“…Still, you must live.”

So, he decided again.

He would definitely save Chloe.

 
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