Mark of the Fool

“I do not understand why you three have banned me from a cabal meeting!” Isolde shouted through Khalik’s door, knocking insistently. “Theresa said that Roth mumbled something about a…war council? If we are going to war, then I see no reason to exclude me in such an arbitrary fashion!”

“Alex…” Thundar glared at the young Thameish wizard without mercy. “Why did you say anything?”

“I was half-awake!” Alex hissed, eyeing the door as though a demon were about to burst in. “I didn’t know she’d tell Isolde!”

‘Should I…block the door?’ Claygon said, watching the door.

‘No, no, it’s fine, Claygon,’ Alex thought.

“Hmmm, the fact that she told her in such a fashion—saying a ‘war-council’ without context—means that she did it on purpose. As a joke.” Khalik eyed Alex’s apartment across the insula’s courtyard. “Well played, huntress. Well played.”

“I know you are in there!” Isolde’s knocking grew more demanding.”

“By my ancestors, Isolde’s the last person I want to find out about this!” Thundar grimaced. “She’s gonna make fun of me for sure.”

“Hmmm, I am not so sure about that,” Khalik mused, running a hand through his beard.

Thundar looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Khalik. I got back yesterday morning. She got back yesterday evening and she’s made fun of me twice already.”

“You made fun of her three times,” Alex pointed out.

“Yeah, but when I do it, it’s funny. When she does it, it’s hurtful and tragic.”

“You were laughing when she did it.”

“I was half-crazed with exhaustion and anyway, speaking of half-crazed, what do you mean you’re not so sure, Khalik?”

“I mean, Thundar, that our friend Isolde finds herself in a similar position to yours,” Khalik noted. “She too is troubled by matters of the heart. I don’t think she will laugh at you as much as you might think, and if she does…well, you have a great weapon to strike her with.”

“What kinda weapon?” Thundar asked.

“Cedric.” Khalik tapped his heart.

“Fair enough,” Thundar grunted. “And uh…I guess, if I’m gonna ask a woman out…maybe asking a woman for advice ain’t the worst idea in the world, now that I think about it. Shit, I really was half-crazed from exhaustion. Alright, hold on.”

The minotaur crossed the room. “Just a minute! Don’t knock the door down!”

When he opened the door, Isolde stood in the hall with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping her foot. Her face was a thunder cloud. “Well? Are you through with making our cabal into a boy’s club?”

She stomped into the room, a basket brimming with books floated behind her, borne by an electric blue forceball. Isolde threw herself into the last of four chairs at Khalik’s table, glowering at the rest of the cabal before returning Claygon’s polite little wave.

“Well,” she said to the young men. “I do not know if this was your idea of a practical joke, but such pranks are the lowest form of humour. You told me last night that we have an expedition to hell to prepare for, and not calling on all of your resources is most immature, foolish and—quite frankly—hurtful.”

Alex, Thundar and Khalik looked at each other sheepishly.

“Uh, Isolde—” Alex started.

“Wait, I am not done!” She dragged a thick stack of books from her basket, slamming them down on the table. “I will have you all know that I took the liberty of raiding the fourth floor of the library for every book on demonology that I thought might be relevant.”

“Yeah, tha—Wait, the fourth floor?” Alex froze. “You…you hit fourth tier?”

A cat-like smile curved across Isolde’s lips, and her blue eyes sparked with pride. She flicked her ebony hair. “Indeed,” she sniffed. “I was nearly there when I left, and—after a few lessons with grandfather—was able to reach fourth-tier quite handily!”

“Why didn’t you tell us yesterday, congratulations, that’s great!” Thundar roared.

“Hmph!” She turned her head away, crossing her arms again. “Well, I was tired from the voyage last night, and I knew that if I told you then, you might insist on filling me with enough wine to leave me senseless for a week. I thought it would be imprudent, for that reason. Besides, since you have covered yourselves in secrecy, excluding me from cabal activities like this, I see no reason at all to share! Now!”

She began opening books. “What are we discussing?”

“Uh…” Thundar grunted, closing the door. “My uh…love life…actually…”

Isolde stared at him, a dozen expressions flitting across her face.

First, she paled.

Then, she turned red.

Then she blinked rapidly.

“Ah.” She slowly closed the book before her. “I, er, see…see why you might have wanted…a…er…boys’ club for this. Um…oh dear, by the four elements um, I…oh my, how embarrassing. Um, this is not a prank is it?”

There was a note of hope in her voice.

“Nope.” Thundar shrugged. “I’m going to ask Kohana out and I’m gettin’ some support. We’re figuring out how I can present my best self.”

“Ah, quite right…how, er, sensitive. Well, I um…” She cleared her throat. “I suppose…if you invited me in…then…you are seeking my council as well?”

“Yep,” Thundar said. “Probably a good idea to get a woman’s perspective. Come to think of it, maybe I should ask Theresa too.”

“Oh no, that is not a good idea.” Isolde shook her head furiously, catching Alex off-guard.

“Wait, why not?’ He asked. “She’s smart! And wise!”

“She also viewed you like a stag to be hunted over a period of years,” Isolde said. “Theresa talks about it with a rather frightening smile.”

Alex could imagine that smile.

The fact that it did strange things to him in no way meant that he had issues.

“Wait, that can’t be, I’m not some sort of prey animal!” He glowered, looking at the others. “I slay monsters and demons, I’m a predator! Aren’t I, boys?”

Khalik looked away.

Thundar coughed awkwardly.

“A-aren’t I…boys?” Alex asked again, his confidence plummeting.

“Anyway, I do not think her specific advice would apply too well to your situation, whatever it is, Thundar,” Isolde said, pointedly refusing to meet Alex’s gaze.

‘Don’t worry…father…’ Claygon said. ‘I think you are…a dangerous predator…to monsters.’

‘T-thanks, Claygon,’ Alex thought glumly.

“Anyway, except for maybe Khalik, you have the most relationship experience of any of us,” Thundar said.

Isolde’s face washed bright red once more. “I certainly do not! I have had all of a single relationship—which was a terrible mistake, I might add—I am not some lout at the bar who has more relationships behind her than there are shot glasses before her!”

“Yeah, well, you beat my zero, Alex is still in his first relationship and you’ve got a new crush,” the minotaur said casually.

“I most certainly do no—” Isolde’s voice grew shrill, her blush deepening so that she resembled a ripe cherry.

“Isolde…” Alex leaned over to pat her on the shoulder. “We can all tell. There was a reason Khalik made that redhead joke back at the Festival of Ghosts.”

“I am well aware you can all tell, but to admit that would be to admit defeat!” She cried in consternation. “He was supposed to be interested in me! I am not some silly little girl whose heart flutters at the sign of red hair!”

“To be fair, he also has quite the sculpted physique,” Khalik pointed out.

“So do all of you and yet I do not find myself melting into a puddle!” She moaned, her head dropping to the table. “By the elements, when he smiles—” Her breath caught a little. “—he somewhat resembles that maniac, Tyris Goldtooth! Why? Why am I attracted to that?”

“I think Hart’s wondering something similar, but from the other end,” Alex muttered.

“What was that?” Isolde looked up.

“Nothing,” he said. “Well, then. Isn’t this lovely? Love is in the air for two more of our cabal!”

Khalik made mock kissing sounds, drawing glares from both Thundar and Isolde.

The minotaur shook his head, turning back to the young noblewoman. “Look, I ain’t gonna make fun of you if you don’t make fun of me.”

He held out his hand, almost like a general calling a truce.

“Deal,” she said, shaking his hand. “So, you were first. Tell me of this woman. Who is she?”

“Kohana: me and Alex’s Cleansing Movements instructor,” Thundar said. “She’s an upper year.”

“Really? Hm. And you wish to present your best self?”

“Yeah, I’m fine with her turning me down,but not if I don’t present my best self, you know? That’d be…terrible,” he grunted.

“I…I can respect that, Thundar. To give one’s all, whether it be in relationships, in statecraft, in study, or in battle, is the only noble way to go through life.” She nodded, acknowledgingher own words. “But…you seem to be rather fascinated by her. What do you find so captivating?”

He winced. “I dunno, what do you find so captivating about Cedric?”

She squirmed in her seat. “I asked you first!”

“Hrm, fair enough, fair enough,” he grunted, his eyes rising to the ceiling as he gave the question some thought.

Khalik leaned forward with curiosity, as did Alex.

To be honest, despite knowing that Thundar had an obvious crush on Kohana, he’d never asked the minotaur anything about his feelings. He’d just assumed it was because his friend liked her tails or something.

But, the last day had shown him that Thundar had put much more thought into this than he’d ever considered, leaving him wondering what his friend might reveal now, about the feelings in his heart.

“I like her tails,” Thundar said.

“I’m going to murder him,” Alex said.

“Well, that’s what it was at first, but…she’s…I dunno, she’s dedicated,” the minotaur shifted uncomfortably. “She comes to our classes ready to go every time, and she really seems like she’s steady as a rock from the way she talks about the cleansing movements and life. She was kind enough to come see me when I was healing after that battle with the mana vampire. She just…seems like a good person. And uh, it’s really cute when she straightens her spectacles.”

Alex and Khalik gave Thundar a warm smile.

“Now, you!” The minotaur said. “I shared, so your turn now!”

“Oh, well…if you must know,” Isolde sighed.

Alex turned to her expectantly, wondering what had attracted his friend to the Chosen of Uldar.

‘This is Isolde,’ Alex thought. ‘I kinda doubt she’s going to say it’s because he has nice hair and muscles.’

“His hair is beautiful,” she said dreamily. “And my goodness, he could model for the statues of gods.’

‘...you know, I walked into that one, I’ll accept that,’ Alex thought.

“But more than that,” she continued. “He is brave, and has a very curious mind. His sincerity is unreserved, and not just with me, but with everyone I see him with, whether that be his fellow Heroes, we students, or others. And his voice…just…oh my, I have said too much.”

“Well, this is entirely too wholesome for my tastes,” Khalik said. “I hardly have any new ammunition to mock you with, how dull!”

“Hmph, well I for one am glad for Thundar’s sincerity,” Isolde sniffed, then looked at Thundar. “But, Thundar, I cannot help but wonder why you need us. You seem to have an understanding of what you want, and you are determined to get it. You say you wish to put forward your ‘best self’, but do you really need us to help you with that?”

“Yeah,” Thundar grunted, looking at them earnestly. “Like…look, I’ve never been on a date before, you know? I mean, unless you count walking around the meadows with some of the girls back in my tribe ‘dates’.”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

“Yeah, but Kohana’s all sophisticated and shit like that. I don’t think saying ‘hey, let’s go walk in a meadow’s’ really…putting my best self forward, you know?” He sighed. “I wanna get to know her better and I want to let her get to know me. The best me…but uh…” He glanced at his friends. “What’re…what’re my best qualities?”

“Pardon?” Khalik asked.

“What’s good about me!” Thundar cried, his voice rising. “That’s what I need help with! I know what I’d say: I can drink most under the table, bench press a good sized boar and crack a monster’s skull open. But uh, none o’ that’s real good for dates. It’s who I am, but I’m wondering what other people see. So yeah, why’re you all friends with me, you losers?What makes me good?”

“That is the neediest question I have ever heard in my life,” Khalik chuckled.

“Well, I’m being needy, you happy?” Thundar snapped. “Just…help me out, okay? This shit’s embarrassing enough.”

“Alright, alright,” Alex laughed. “I get it, man. Well, that’s one thing I’ve always liked about you right there. You can take a joke. Anyone can go around making fun of others but when we make fun of you, you give right back but…it’s all good-natured, you know?”

“Good-natured,” Thundar nodded. “Alright.”

“You are loyal, as well.” Khalik tapped the tabletop, deep in thought. “There are few that I have met who are as willing to risk themselves for their cabal and friends. You watch our backs, and I will always appreciate that.”

“You are also humble,” Isolde added.

“Humble?” Thundar laughed. “Now that’s gotta be a joke, I’m always going on about how I’m the leader of the cabal, right?”

“True, but you are still humble in a sense: intelligent enough to receive admission to the greatest university of wizardry in the world, but yet you downplay it,” there was a note of respect in her voice. “You do not show off your intellect as a point of pride…which is something I could never imagine for myself.”

“Alright, alright,” Thundar said, coughing in embarrassment. “Ugh, this makes me feel a bit awkward…but uh, you know what? Thank you. That’s just what I’ll say…I’m not too sure all this’ll help me ask someone out though. This is all deep stuff.”

“Well, you got a lot going for you in other ways too,” Alex said. “You’re a member of a very special expedition, you won or placed in multiple events in the Games of Roal, you’re built like a brick shit house…but also, you care about others. You’re sincere, Thundar, otherwise you wouldn’t be going through all this trouble in the first place.”

“Hm?” The minotaur frowned. “Hey, that’s not bad…yeah…that’ll help me.”

“What will help you?”

“When I ask her out…I make it about her,” he said. “I go in sincere. I say that I like her and that I wanna take her out for a meal or something so that I can get to know her better. Shows my sincerity and…my…humility, I guess. The rest I can show off on the date itself, if she says yes.”

“You know, I have a feeling you are overthinking this,” Khalik said. “But…that is not a bad strategy, at all.”

“I can agree with that,” Alex said. “Well…now all that’s left to do is date planning.”

Thundar waved a hand dismissively. “Bah, date planning, date schmanning. She’s probably gonna say no, anyway, if I’m honest. Better to be spontaneous? I mean…what’re the chances of us actually going out?”