Lord of The Chaos
8 The fall
I always fall from bad to worse. I Fall into a world of filth, murder, and r*pe.
I remember 14 years ago I was a Boss mobster.
Everyone was afraid of me, and everyone was scared to say my name. But then again, I was falling psychologically and morally.
The name was just a human title, but everyone knows it as a monster.
I still remember the eyes of the girl I raped. The last time she was beautiful and Bright was like a sacred jewel.
She is dark and sad now. But I didn't do anything wrong. I did what I wanted to do.
She couldn't protect herself. So don't blame me.
I am.
When I was dying. I heard her mother cry why she was crying when she was killing me. Is she sad for me? Or was she crying because she was falling, too?
Did anyone cry when they found out I was dead?
Hahaha
Would that make any difference?!
And now I'm still falling, but this time I'm falling from a high mountain to the ground to die.
Is it all ended?
Falling is a strange and lovely feeling. Your body feels free. No one controls you. But as always, everything beautiful ends up colliding with ugly reality. There's no way out.
That bitch is the one who made me fall now. I don't know why she did it, but there's no difference.
I'm gonna die again.
The fall has always had bad memories of me.
When I first fell. I was a little kid in my real world.
I was not yet the beast that stands before you now.
My mom saw me crying, she looked at me then she smiled. This was the first time I saw my mom grinned since I found myself alive.
She carried me into the kitchen, lit a fire, put a knife on the fire.
And she told me "I didn't want to hear you scream"
And she put the knife in my hand.
When I was screaming, she was torturing me even more, so I didn't talk.
I was hurting in silence, crying in silence, feeling in silence.
So I've hated falling since that day, but it feels good.
That strange world despite repeated stories.....But everyone in it falls for the same mistakes and repeats the same events... And it hurts the same pain.
Everything revolves around human life, between.
Hope... Pain.
Same shit.
But the worst thing that could ruin anyone's life is you give him hope, then take that hope and give him pain in return.
So I learned a lesson.
We can't trust anyone, we can't love anyone, and everybody's bad, and so I have to be worse.
Freefall.
What's new about it?
Ever since I was born, I was falling free.
Everything I was raised by... All I ever loved...All my morals and dreams.
It was gradually decreasing until the last moment of Impact, death!
So I asked myself an important question.
Do I want to shave?
Do I want to feel like a bird with No limits, no restrictions?
Or do I want that black finish?
She's still standing there looking at me ...that bitch.
She watches my failure and the moment I die.
I don't want that ending.
Not in front of her...
All I kept scanning for was that feeling of free fall.....
Free and clear and the pain is over...
I felt everything...
Without falling.....
At that moment, I thought of her words before I fell completely.....
Before my head hit the ground.....
And I die.
I remember...
"Control Mana and turn like it."
I did. I controlled the Mana with all my power, with all my inner energy.
I turned it into an income form. A form I've always loved.
"I learned the shapeshifter specialization"
I opened up the skills, went to the shapeshifter class, opened up the first skill, and raised him to level four.
Then I closed my eyes.
I whispered.
"Change"
I remember 14 years ago I was a Boss mobster.
Everyone was afraid of me, and everyone was scared to say my name. But then again, I was falling psychologically and morally.
The name was just a human title, but everyone knows it as a monster.
I still remember the eyes of the girl I raped. The last time she was beautiful and Bright was like a sacred jewel.
She is dark and sad now. But I didn't do anything wrong. I did what I wanted to do.
She couldn't protect herself. So don't blame me.
I am.
When I was dying. I heard her mother cry why she was crying when she was killing me. Is she sad for me? Or was she crying because she was falling, too?
Did anyone cry when they found out I was dead?
Hahaha
Would that make any difference?!
And now I'm still falling, but this time I'm falling from a high mountain to the ground to die.
Is it all ended?
Falling is a strange and lovely feeling. Your body feels free. No one controls you. But as always, everything beautiful ends up colliding with ugly reality. There's no way out.
That bitch is the one who made me fall now. I don't know why she did it, but there's no difference.
I'm gonna die again.
The fall has always had bad memories of me.
When I first fell. I was a little kid in my real world.
I was not yet the beast that stands before you now.
My mom saw me crying, she looked at me then she smiled. This was the first time I saw my mom grinned since I found myself alive.
She carried me into the kitchen, lit a fire, put a knife on the fire.
And she told me "I didn't want to hear you scream"
And she put the knife in my hand.
When I was screaming, she was torturing me even more, so I didn't talk.
I was hurting in silence, crying in silence, feeling in silence.
So I've hated falling since that day, but it feels good.
That strange world despite repeated stories.....But everyone in it falls for the same mistakes and repeats the same events... And it hurts the same pain.
Everything revolves around human life, between.
Hope... Pain.
Same shit.
But the worst thing that could ruin anyone's life is you give him hope, then take that hope and give him pain in return.
So I learned a lesson.
We can't trust anyone, we can't love anyone, and everybody's bad, and so I have to be worse.
Freefall.
What's new about it?
Ever since I was born, I was falling free.
Everything I was raised by... All I ever loved...All my morals and dreams.
It was gradually decreasing until the last moment of Impact, death!
So I asked myself an important question.
Do I want to shave?
Do I want to feel like a bird with No limits, no restrictions?
Or do I want that black finish?
She's still standing there looking at me ...that bitch.
She watches my failure and the moment I die.
I don't want that ending.
Not in front of her...
All I kept scanning for was that feeling of free fall.....
Free and clear and the pain is over...
I felt everything...
Without falling.....
At that moment, I thought of her words before I fell completely.....
Before my head hit the ground.....
And I die.
I remember...
"Control Mana and turn like it."
I did. I controlled the Mana with all my power, with all my inner energy.
I turned it into an income form. A form I've always loved.
"I learned the shapeshifter specialization"
I opened up the skills, went to the shapeshifter class, opened up the first skill, and raised him to level four.
Then I closed my eyes.
I whispered.
"Change"
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