Chapter 164: She's a monster

I was peering at Xavier. He sat down on the bench next to me. He was a lot older than me. He looked anywhere near middle-aged. He wore a brown leather jacket, a bit glossy. His hair was messy, with a lot of frizz; strands poking out from different arbitrary areas. On his face, he showed nothing but stoicism—slit, impenetrable, tired eyes, lips closed—that made me utterly concerned about him. What was he even doing here?

I guessed he just found me. Or, much more daunting, he could have been stalking me. Now, that would be scary. After a few seconds of musing to myself, I decided to talk to him. Our conversation went well the last time we conversed. I turned to him. "Ohhh, Xavier. It's you ... what brings you here?"

He remained silent for a while. But then, he turned to me. His eyes were still impenetrable, but darker, much darker now. "I saw you here, so I decided to say hi." His tone was slow, much slower than last time, and calm. 

I sighed. "I see. It's really nice to meet you again. It was sudden, and I least expected it but it's still all good. How are you? Did you succeed in retrieving what that organization took?" I asked that. But in truth, I knew he wasn't alright. And I had a hunch he didn't retrieve anything either. 

He averted his eyes. "Unfortunately, I didn't get my sister back from them. Christopher was doing all he can to get her back to me. Yet, last night I decided to set the building aflame." 

'That's not good, that's not good. I warned you, man,' I thought. Why did he set the building on fire? Did his sister die in the building because of the fire?

He continued, "I could have killed her. But luckily, as I expected, they were able to extinguish the fire without many casualties. It didn't matter if my sister died in that building anyway. You see," he looked down at the floor, "my sister ..." suddenly I felt the air growing hotter, tingling my skin, "my sister's not ... she's ..." the heat intensified, "... she's a monster!"

What was he talking about? I knew the organization only held her captive because she was considered tainted with what would appear to be the same energy the demons carried. But ... what did Xavier witness to wish her dead? It was his sister; he only did what he did last night for her. What he saw in that organization had to be one of the worst possible.

I started to perspire. It was hot, my body manifesting sweat to cool itself down. There were no visible flames around him, only heat. But at this rate, there was going to be a whole fiery explosion in proximity, and I'd be toast. 

'Maybe he didn't see his sister in that organization ... he probably saw something else,' I thought, 'something that reacted to his presence differently. In a way he knows his sister wouldn't." I shook my head. I had to stop him before he combusted. 

I turned to him. "I don't know what you in that organization sir. But don't you know your own sister? You said it was a monster. That means it wasn't your sister. You're supposed to know your sister the best—"

"She was my sister," Xavier said, "She looked exactly like my sister. She recalled things from our past. That thing in the organization is my sister." His naturally dark eyes smothered in stark radiance. He cursed. 

I wiped the sweat from my forehead with an arm. Then, I looked at him, serious. "Sir, I don't know if you came here to kill me ... but I don't want to burn to ash, just so you know."

He gazed at me, a nuance lingering on his face.

I leaned in. The heat making my skin go red. "We can resolve this problem together. Your sister ... she's alive, isn't she? If she was hexed, there must be a way to undo the curse."

Xavier's produced heat began to diminish. He gazed down at me, nuanced, staring thoughtfully. "I ..." he fumbled. 

"We can fix this. I have more than four major problems at hand. But I'll find a way to assist you. I will. In this new world," I frowned, setting sight upon the floor, "we have to fight. The ten thousand of us ... if we were are truly warriors—if we are truly brave and strong—we're not supposed to be within this dome.

"We're supposed to be out there. Fighting off the creatures even if it means we're risking our lives in the process. I had friends out there. I don't know if they're alive, but if they are ... they are the true warriors. The ones fighting in the real apocalypse.

"I'm a coward. I'm not sure how I was able to befriend people here at all. I'm a loser. The god of cowardice. But I've been thinking about something," I looked at Xavier, "we're all cowards in this new world. We all are. We're hiding from the apocalypse in here ... this new world."

There was no longer heat emanating from his body. He seemed calm now. But I ... I wasn't finished.

I glared at him, furrowing my brows. "Y'know ... you had it easy. Your friends," my glasses slipped down my nose bridge, "you didn't lose them. You didn't lose your family like I did. Even if you did, you still have your sister. I don't have," I squeezed my eyes closed tightly, wrinkling, "anything left of the outside world."

Xavier stared at me, almost fearful. It became quiet for a while. Then, he suddenly threw a smile at me. "Actually, I ran away from home at a young age. To make money, I decided to become a madman's butler. He was crazy," he laughed, "he didn't deserve a butler. He couldn't even afford one. But just serving somebody, and watching his or her life change was always fascinating for me. The mad man died. I even got his name. Later, I found a homeless girl in the madman's house. She snuck in to steal food.

"It was on the day the old man died in the house. I didn't know what I was going to do. I grew up serving people. That's why I became a butler after leaving my parents. I was my parents' slave; I always served them. And when the old man died, I saw the little girl and I just knew she would be the next person I served.

"And that she was," he smiled, "I wanted to call her princess. But she insisted I'd be her big brother and not her butler. I was secretly serving regardless but she didn't know the definition of the word 'butler' so she had no idea doing like serving her food still made me her butler. Now that she's gone ... I don't know what I'll do with myself. She was the first I served who didn't treat me horribly.

"But I'm getting new ideas. If she somehow dies," he frowned, "I'll move on to play a butler to someone one last time to cope. And then .... maybe .... I'll be my own butler. Maybe even become the unrivaled fire user. Become a King ..." his eyes burnt red, "who is his own butler. "

The guilt I felt inside made my stomach hurt. I judged him. He suffered more than me. I had two good parents. He didn't. I had a nice home and friends. He didn't. The girl isn't even his real sister. He wasn't normal. He was obsessed with the idea of being a butler. His life was much worse than mine. 

I heaved. Closing my eyes and looked down. "Xavier, I'm really sorry. I didn't know ... I didn't know your past. I stupidly assumed my life was worse than yours. But ... all lives are horrible in their own ways. They're all unique. I guess," I forced a smile, "that's what makes them so beautiful."

Ironic. Because my life wasn't beautiful at all. 

I looked at Xavier again. Suddenly, I was no longer on a bench. I was in a strange place. Xavier was standing opposite me. We were amidst a ring of fire. I felt much taller. I seemed to be taller than Xavier. I looked around. I sensed malice. I looked down at my hand. Since when did I retain my metal bat? 'Xavier planned to steal my throne? Become the king of the mafia?' These thoughts ... from where did they emerge?

Suddenly, the scenery changed. My head began to hurt. I was then looking at Xavier on the floor, begging for his life. I held the bat in both my hands. I charged an attack, about to finish off Xavier. What was I doing? My lips started moving on their own. "It's a new world, Xavier. One in which we must suffer. I can't suffer any problems with you anymore. So you must die. I can' have backstabbers in my empire," I raised my bat higher, "by the way, it's nothing personal ..."

"ASH, WAIT! LET'S TALK THIS ONE OUT!"

"I WAS JUST TESTING. I WAS PLAYING!"

This was familiar. 

"FORGIVE ME! SPARE MY—"

Whack!

I just watched myself kill Xavier. 

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