2 – The Escaping Village Guardian NPC (2)

“He’s crazy!! Village Guardian Jack has gone crazy!!”

“He hits people!! That lunatic is beating people!!”

What are they saying? Fools.

It’s obvious to anyone that they swung first and I was simply engaging in completely fair and reasonable self-defense.

If anyone saw, they’d think I was a gangster.

I ignore the trash screaming like idiots and head straight for the biggest wooden house in the village center.

The village chief’s house, the only place to exchange goblin gems in this village. And my employer who pays my wages.

-Knock knock.

“Chief. It’s Jack.”

No response. It’s like a graveyard.

-Crash!

“Pardon the intrusion.”

“Th-this crazy bastard!! What are you doing?!”

I lightly kick down the door, and inside two fat pigs holding clubs are trembling and shaking.

Oh my. Could it be after hearing from the guard punks that I turned them into popcorn with the popcorn machine, they barricaded themselves in the house?

“What are you doing. I came to get paid. Ah, no. I came for my weekly wages. Pay up.”

“Y-you crazy punk!! Ungrateful for the care given, asking for money?! You should be paying me!! For the repairs to this broken door!!”

“…Heh. Are you serious, Chief? Your judgement of the situation seems a bit off.”

What care did you give me?

I wasn’t sickly, but my frail little sister. I just wanted to feed her some tasty things and asked for a bit more money, but they would say I was greedy for money and curse at me.

And now all the villagers were on the side of those punks. When stupidity reaches this point, it’s a disease.

Maybe the reason why this country perished before the tutorial is because trash like this was rampant?

Somehow this seems factual.

“What, what did you say?”

“You already know your two guard punks have been turned into popcorn launching pads missing their right arms. So how about I turn you into the same thing here… No, since you have a lot of fat, why don’t I slice up that belly a bit thinner? Once you become like that, you’ll want to give me money, right?”

“W-wait!! Ah, fine. I’ll give you the money so wait!! Y-you!! Bring the money to give this punk!”

The female pig next to him, who looked to be his wife, waddled into the room and came out holding a pouch.

And she threw it at me like tossing a stone at a rabid dog. Really no affection at all…

-Jingle!

“Th-there!! I gave it all!! Pick it up and get lost!!”

“……”

Because she threw the pouch without closing it, all the coins spilled onto the floor. Seeing that, I roughly counted.

…Ha. 800 coins again.

“…Pig bastards. That’s why you can’t understand words. I told you to give me back the money you’ve been skimming off me until now. And again 800 coins? Are you a beast? Should I treat you like a beast for you to understand?”

“Squeal!!”

When I glared at the village chief’s wife who threw the money at me, she must have sensed something and let out a pig-like shriek.

I wouldn’t really know though.

“Wha-what are you saying?! You forgot that 800 coins was the money we originally gave you…!!”

“How much are your weekly living expenses? In a world where a single skewer is 300 coins, you lived on 800 coins for 3 years. If I hadn’t been taught by my father as village guardian, didn’t know how to find food in the mountains, my sibling and I would have starved to death already. Got it? But you raised me? That was the original payment? Did you also scam and abuse my father like this? Huh?”

As I started swinging my fist and approaching, the pig trembled, tightly gripping his club.

Yes, let’s try an experiment.

I walked right up to him, and the village chief’s complexion instantly turned blue. And as soon as I entered his attack range…

“Th-this!! Murderous punk!!”

-Slam!

He relentlessly slammed my head with the club.

Ah. Damn that hurts.

“Ow… f*ck. That hurts.”

However, after rubbing my head once, I look straight ahead.

My status window that doesn’t disappear no matter how much I sing for it to go away.

On it was:

[HP: 300,000+???]

My HP that didn’t decrease one bit was displayed.

If this status window isn’t glitching, then the clubbing right now isn’t dealing any damage to me.

Of course there’s pain though. Oww my head hurts.

“…Th-this… mon…monster…”

“Hm?”

The club he swung was broken in half and lying on the ground, while he was plastered against the wall trembling.

Hmm. My defense isn’t shown separately, so just how high is it?

“Well. The experiment is done. Next is time for punishment. Hey pig wife over there. Don’t think about running away. I’ll give you time to slowly think while your husband pork belly becomes a popcorn machine.”

“Squeal!!”

Was it because she saw her husband’s club break and me unharmed? The pig collapsed right where she was, as if her waist gave out. After glaring at her once, I went right up to the village chief, grabbed him by the collar, and slammed him into the ground.

“Oof!”

“They say the whip is medicine for those who can’t understand words. Hmm, hitting like this won’t kill you right?”

[Village Chief: Level 8]

As expected, his HP isn’t shown and I can’t turn it on and off.

I slammed the fatty’s face into the ground several more times, then threw the battered meat at the female pig.

Phew. That feels so refreshing.

“Hey pig two over there. Wanna bring money? Wanna make popcorn?”

Seeing her husband turned into a fresh marble pork, the female pig dashed into the room without a word. Soon, she came out carrying a large pouch and handed it over, groveling on the ground.

…Oh, wait a minute, the smell. Did this ahjumma piss herself?

“…The stinky piss, how old are you wetting yourself. Sheesh.”

I moved away from the stinky pig and opened the pouch.

…Oh. Large coins. Large coins are 500 coins each. Around 20,000 won with this much. 20,000 coins?

“Ugh. Considering the amount of hunting until now, this is lacking but I’m busy so I’ll let it slide. Live well, pigs. You don’t have much time left once I leave anyway.”

I left with the travel funds in hand.

The villagers stare at me like I’m crazy, and I glare back straight at them. They all cough awkwardly and turn their heads.

Some were holding clubs, thinking they could stop me with their numbers. But they don’t step forward, not wanting to become popcorn machines.

And so I left the village…

-Slam!

“…Gotcha.”

Ignoring the footsteps approaching from behind, as I tried to leave the village, a critical back attack struck my head.

Ah. Damn that really hurts.

“…Attacked first?”

Seeing the three men holding clubs and standing arrogantly, their eyes on the large pouch I was deliberately holding, I smirked.

*

“Hmm. Back attack means guaranteed double critical damage, but my HP still isn’t decreasing?”

Feeling great with the even fatter pouch, I climb the mountain leisurely. I’m Jack, the king of unemployed humans.

The villagers thought that with their numbers, they could certainly overpower me. So more than just the three guys jumped me. And I had even more fun.

I feel so refreshed.

The village chief scamming my money. And me receiving unfair treatment, the villagers all knew about it.

But I didn’t intend to get revenge on them all just for that. Since the bastards gave me the excuse, I deliciously took that opportunity.

Just how many popcorn machines did I make today? Isn’t this creative economy?

As I cheerfully climb the mountain, a small hut comes into view.

In front of the house is a single grave. Yes, just one.

And when I open the door and go inside.

“Oppa~ Why are you so late?”

My cute little sister with red hair and purple eyes runs up to me and wraps her arms tightly around my waist, rubbing her face against me.

“Oh my. Did our princess wait a long time?”

“Yes. I waited a long time. Oppa. I’m hungry.”

“Is that so? Our princess must be hungry, so Oppa brought some food too.”

“…Huh? Skewers?”

“Yes! Your favorite meat skewers!”

There’s a vending machine that sells meat skewers, so I emptied my pockets and bought a few skewers. My sister loves skewers the most. It was a golden goblin I could plunder.

I pick up my little sister in one arm and sit her down on a chair, then hand her a skewer.

My sister is now 8 years old, but has the body of a 5 or 6 year old girl. Of course, the reason is obvious – she’s underfed and malnourished.

Everyday I can only bring back wild grass and roots. For meat, only the occasional rabbit or two that gets caught. And even those are often contaminated by the poison from the monsters that live in these mountains, so I can’t let my sister eat them.

The village can extract the poison, but they would only give me scraps of meat when I begged them to remove the poison, after bleeding me dry.

Ah. Just thinking about it makes me mad again. I should have gone there and wrecked the place.

-Om nom nom-

“Is it tasty?”

“Yes! Delish!”

I put down my happily eating sister for a moment to pour her some water and place it in front of her.

“Eat slowly. You’ll get sick if you gobble it down.”

“Okay. I’ll eat slow.”

“……”

With such a small sister to take care of, my heart sinks thinking about the long journey we have to embark on. But there’s no choice. We have to leave no matter what. If we stay here, my sister will definitely die.

“…Ira.”

“Nom nom- Hm? Oppa?”

From noble mtl dot com

When I look at her warmly and speak seriously, my sister stops nibbling on the meat like a squirrel and turns her head to look at me.

“Should Oppa and you move somewhere else?”

She might not want to leave this house where she had lived with our father. I asked thinking about that. But–

“Yes!! I’ll go wherever Oppa goes!”

“…Okay. Then let’s leave right after you finish eating.”

“Yes! Nom nom!”

With my sister’s permission, I immediately started packing.

Our luggage isn’t much – just a blanket and some old clothes. I’ll need to buy more clothes for us at the next village with the money I earned.

As I make these plans, I feel very fortunate.

Thanks to regaining my past life’s memories, there probably won’t be two graves in front of our house now.

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