Prologue.

Idol.

Whenever you see an idol who not only decorates various media but also promotes K-POP globally, you must have thought of this at least once.

‘How did they succeed?’

Experts say that their success is attributable to their visuals, vocals and dance. They’re pointing out entertainment. Of course, that wasn’t an accurate analysis.

There’s no way that skills can be directly linked to popularity.

Why am I talking about this?

That’s because I have a talent.

A very special talent that no one else has.

Chapter 1. I have a strange ability


“What?”

I had a headache.

Called to the office at the top of the headquarters, I asked back in a dazed tone about the sudden news.

“What did you say?”

“It’s exactly what you heard.”

Mouth open, I stared blankly at the director, who was wearing glasses and had an awkward expression on his face.

“So… you want me to leave the company?”

“I’m not asking you to leave the company. To be exact, you just aren’t in the debut group.”

“Why?”

I couldn’t understand.

“Why am I not in the debut group?”

“Woojoo-ya.”

[t/n: woojoo means universe]

“No, three weeks ago, the debut group was confirmed. You said the group’s name was confirmed as TNT. And now, out of nowhere…”

“Debuts can always fall apart, Woojoo-ya. It’s like that in this field. You know that no one’s safe until they make their perfect debut. This kind of stuff also happens a lot to your sunbaes.”

It wasn’t wrong.

TJ Entertainment.

TJ Entertainment, commonly referred to as one of the top four agencies in South Korea and nicknamed ‘idol house'[1], has debuted one of the leading boy and girl groups since the 2000s.

[1] i dont know how to say this but house as in a family/clan/whatever that has a illustrous reputation

They’ve produced many idols and this has been the case for many senior groups who debuted in TJ Entertainment, so a last minute change of members was quite common.

But I didn’t know it’d be my case.

“It can be hard to accept, I know, but…”

“Is it because of my dancing?”

There was no answer, but that was enough confirmation.

“I had a meeting with the planning team a while ago, many words were exchanged. It seems like your dance skills aren’t balanced. They said that if we debut like this, the team’s style will be affected.”

“……”

“The management department head and I were going to watch and see because we’re friends, but it can’t be helped if it’s a decision made by my superiors.”

There was only one person above the director.

Chairman Park Taejoon.

The hand of Midas, CEO of TJ Entertainment and renowned in the entertainment industry.

The company’s chief executive decided to drop me from the debut group, so there was nothing more to say.

“It’s unfortunate, Woojoo-ya.”

I felt like the sky was falling.

It felt impossible to explain.

I was on the verge of making my debut at a company I devoted six years too, and now I’m being  cut off from this company.

As if saying there was a flaw in a product they were selling.

I felt nauseous.

My face was burning with a fever and I felt like my internal organs were twisting.

The cucumber I had for my diet climb up my throat before going down.

The director gave me a sympathetic look, trying to calm down my rough breathing.

“Are you okay?”

What was unfair was that I couldn’t refute any of it.

What the company said was true.

Trainee Sun Woojoo.

I was good at singing, but I was a trainee who lacked dancing skills. At every end of the month evaluation, I was always told by my colleagues that I survived solely because of my face.

So it wasn’t unusual for me to be eliminated because I couldn’t dance.

However, no matter how true it was, I couldn’t help but get angry.

You shouldn’t have picked me for the debut group in the first place.

We took profile pictures and even unpacked my stuff with the debut group at the dorm, and now you want me to leave?

I was furious.

“Woojoo-ya.”

“I’m sorry.”

Because of the tears I didn’t know were sliding down, I picked up a tissue and dabbed my eyes.

Maybe it was because one single tear came down.

My tears kept on flowing.

Ever since my grandmother got sick, it was the first time I’ve cried in front of others.

After a while, I felt myself calm down. I took a deep breath and calmly sat down.

“Are you alright now?”

“Yes.”

The director had a composed expression.

Maybe.

For someone who cut off trainees every month, tears may be a common sight.

“Then…”

My voice was very hoarse.

“What will happen to me?”

“You have three options.”

The director explained.

“First, you can stop being an idol trainee and move on to being an actor.”

“An actor?”

Why an actor all of a sudden?

“This came from the management department, you’re not good at dancing but you do have good visuals. You’re also good with cameras, so many said that it’d be a waste of your visuals to be an idol.”

The director smiled and said, trying to warm up the atmosphere.

“Why don’t you move on to being an actor? We’ve recruited a lot of actors over the years, so we’ve gained a lot of expertise. Sooner or later, the company will produce it’s own drama, if that were to happen, the company will be willing to support you.”

“And the second?”

“If you still want to be an idol, I can connect you to another agency.”

“Other agencies?”

“Like Lemon and DNS. They may be small, but we do do business together.”

In short, he was talking about small and medium-sized agencies.

He continued.

“If you don’t like those options, then… in the end, there’s no option other than to terminate the contract.”

In the end, I can either become an actor or go to another agency to become an idol trainee. I have to choose one out of the two or terminate my contract.

I asked.

“Will I be able to debut if I go to another agency?”

“That depends on you.”

The director gave me a vague smile.

In the end, he told me to go to another company and start over again from the beginning.

Without realizing, I forced a laugh.

“I respect whatever you choose, but I think you should be an actor…”

The director said something, but I wasn’t listening.

It was just blank.

Even if the earth was going to be destroyed tomorrow, it’d still feel no more realistic than this.

All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind.

Is this real?

Am I really getting cut off from the debut group?

What do I tell grandma?

How should I take out my luggage from the dorms?

What have you been doing here for six years, Sun Woojoo?

Like a stem starting from a seed, branches of thoughts surging everywhere, complicating my mind.

When I finally got my thoughts organized, I decided.

“Director.”

“Yes, have you decided?”

“Yes.”

It was a decision I would come to regret later on.

“The contract… will be terminated.”

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

“……joo-ya.”

“……”

“Punk, Sun Woojoo.”

“……”

Someone shook my shoulder.

I must have fallen asleep.

When I came to my senses, I saw a young man looking at me anxiously from the driver’s seat.

A man wearing glasses.

If you take away the skin colour and beard, he had a similar face to the devil in ⟨The Number Devil⟩, a book I read as a child.

Yoon Seokhwan.

A person I’ve known for a long time.

He was the deputy of the management team for trainees.

He had a troubled look on his face.

“Are you okay?”

“Sorry, hyung. I must have dozed off.”

“We’re in front of the lodgings, wake up.”

The car stopped at an apartment complex in Gangnam-gu.

This was the accommodation of the boy band that I was apart of, TNT .

After having terminated my contract with the company, I’m here to remove my luggage.

Seokhwan hyung, who was driving the carnival, was the last person to think about how I felt.

“It’s funny.”

“What?”

“When my debut was confirmed, I felt like I was in heaven, but now I feel like I’m at the gates to hell.”

Seokhwan hyung wasn’t able to give me a reply.

“And the guys? Are they not at the dorm?”

“They’re all in the training center at this time.”

“Well, they must be busy practicing the choreography.”

It’s already starting to sound like someone else’s business.

The guys probably think I was called in for a brief profile photo shoot or something.

Yoon Seokhwan asked while fixing his glasses.

“Are you really leaving without telling them anything?”

“It’ll make it awkward between us.”

“But you guys are so close, they’ll be sad. Taehyun in particular, if he finds out you’ve left…”

“Seokhwan hyung.”

My voice was hoarse.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can afford to concern myself with other people’s feelings right now.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Hyung, why are you sorry? I’ll just get my stuff and leave.”

I thought it would be awkward if I stayed there, so I quickly got out of the passenger seat.

17th floor of the apartment.

The elevator to the lodging never stopped and went straight up.

“……”

Inside the dorm.

Since we were an eight-member group, the living room was filled with hangers, a bunch of clothes placed on them.

I quickly entered the room and packed my luggage.

I didn’t bring a lot because I hadn’t brought all my clothes from my hometown Gunsan yet.

A family photo taken with my parents when I was a baby.

And some clothes.

Lastly, the musty tracksuit I hadn’t washed yet.

When I packed my luggage, I was filled with emotion.

I bit my lip to stop my tears from flowing.

I held back my tears until I came back to the car.

Yoon Seokhwan asked worriedly.

“Your lodging? Do you have anywhere to stay for today?”

“Well…”

“Do you want to crash at my place?”

“Nevermind, I don’t wanna bother hyung’s family.”

“I’m independent, punk.”

“If hyung is alone then I don’t want to.”

Yoon Seokhwan laughed softly at my joke.

“I’m going down to Gunsan, hyung.”

“Didn’t you study in Seoul?”

“I dropped out because I wanted to focus on the debut team.”

The company told me not to do that, and I didn’t have to, but I wanted to focus solely on my debut.

Stupid Sun Woojoo.

“And your grandmother? Did you tell her?”

“Not yet.”

“She must be very worried…”

“What do you mean, worried? She’ll either curse me out or dump a bowl of cold water on me. ‘You little bastard, I knew this would happen’.”

I shuddered when I recalled my grandmother’s loud swearing.

Whatever.

At least I don’t have to worry about starving.

My grandmother wasn’t the president of the agency, but she’s the owner of a homey restaurant.

“Are you really quitting?”

“Yeah.”

When I lowered the car window, a spring wind flew in and ruffled my hair.

“I think you’re going too far. You should take your time to think about this. Are only idols celebrities? There are so many other options. There are actors and models too.”

“I think hyung regrets it more than me.”

“Of course, if I had a face like yours, I wouldn’t do this.”

“Do I look that good?”

“Look in the mirror, punk.”

“There are many handsome and pretty people in the world.”

Yoon Seokhwan laughed as if it was nonsense.

When I was a new trainee, Seokhwan hyung was the youngest member of the management team.

The bond we built over the past six years was not weak.

However, Seokhwan hyung was the youngest deputy.

I was still a trainee in my latter years.

[t/n: i though you were like 20;;;]

I said with a smile.

“I don’t want to be a celebrity anymore.”

“Why?”

“Just, I’ve opened my eyes to reality. I think, I just got tired of preparing for six years straight.”

“Then, what will you do?”

“Well…”

Perhaps, because of the warm spring atmosphere, the streets of Gangnam were crowded. I opened my mouth, looking at the scenery outside the window.

“I think I’ll live a normal life. I’ll study and go to college, come out to see cherry blossoms in spring, date, and go to the army when the time comes.”

“Uu.”

“What?”

“The army… nevermind.”

I tilted my head when I saw the ‘you’ll see when you get there’ expression on his face.

Meanwhile, the car stopped before I knew it.

“We’re here.”

When we arrived at the express bus terminal, Seokhwan hyung gave me his business card.

“Woojoo-ya.”

“Yeah?”

“You may not be able to make a proper judgment because you’re having a hard time now. You can say you’d quit being an idol when you really don’t know what you actually want. So if you change your mind……..”

“Can I call this number?”

“Yeah.”

Seok-hwan smiled and extended his hand.

“Goodbye. Let’s see each other again.”

After shaking hands, I got out of the car.

With a backpack slung over one side.


Taking a glimpse of the car going leaving, I looked around before entering the terminal.

It was spring all around.

Everything was spring, not only the clothes of people, but the flowers around them too.

“Ah, the weather is good.”

I entered the terminal while looking at the clear sky.

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Then I thought.

I don’t think I’ll ever get involved with idols again.

But that was my misunderstanding.

Three years later, my life changed.

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