In Line

When I left my room the next morning, I was greeted by my brother waiting for me in the hallway. He hadn't slept all night from the looks of it.

"How was it?" my brother asked as he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"How was what?" I said

"Don't play games, Brother, I know she was in your room last night. The guards have been talking about it all morning," he informed me.

I was embarrassed. It just happened, and already it was common news spread like wildfire.

"I was worried when she went missing, imagine my surprise when I found out she was with you," Louis teased me further until I pushed him away.

"She's not here anymore," I said, opening my door wide enough for my brother to see inside.

"What?!" He exclaimed.

He pushed me out of the way to get into my bedroom. Searching around as if she might be hiding, Louis acted like a dog.

"I think she left last night or maybe this morning, sometime while I was asleep," I said.

"Fuck! She's a Lady of a very wealthy house in Oboshi. We need to find her," he said, still turning my room upside down as if there were actually so many hiding places.

I felt oddly naked in front of my Brother that morning. So often, I was the one who met him after a night of escapades.

"It's alright. I'm sure I'll find her. But in the meantime, how were things with the inventor?" he asked as he finally returned to me.

"It was fine, he was fine," I said as Louis took me from my chambers.

"I'll take it he wasn't fascinating if you left him to come home to Lady Yale," he joked at my expense.

My brother could be very smug at times. You could hear a laugh shadowing the background of his voice as he teased me.

"It's not like that... things were going well, but we hit a snag towards the end," I corrected him.

"What kind of 'snag'?" He asked.

"The kind that I'm keeping to myself."

"Fine brother, be private about your business, I suppose I should send Non and Jin away since you've grown so close to Yale and Santo."

"No, don't do that!" I exclaimed just loudly enough to embarrass myself.

"You still want to try the land, do you?"

" Lady Yale was ... I don't think I can see what we did becoming something serious," I informed my brother.

"Something serious? The point of my bringing you these 'guests' was not to become serious," he said as we stopped walking.

I had to look away.

"I know that, but I'm not like you Louis, I want more than just a 'physical' release," I said.

He sighed before stepping back into my line of sight.

"Must be so much easier to say after you've gotten just that," he teased.

"I'm serious," I said.

"I'm sure you are, brother."

He took a moment to look me over before he continued.

"Fine, if you want to turn guests meant to be laid into relations, then I have one piece of advice."

"And what's that?"

"As a royal, you can have as many concubines as you wish, but sometimes less is more," he said.

It felt like an odd thing for him to say.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Who knows, it's something Father told me once. But you're the one with the brain, remember."

I imagined it was a warning not to give myself too many times. After all, there would always be those who wanted a seat next to a royal. Then I imagined maybe it meant even if I found those who were right for me, I would still only be a single person limited in what I could give. Honestly, the idea of being in a relationship with more than one person had yet to cross my mind until my brother threw it. I was eager to find out if any of my other guests could similarly meld with me as Santo seemed to. Or perhaps better than Santo if possible, but he set a high bar to climb.

Non was somewhere outside the castle, but Louis informed that Jin and her family were in the courtyard.

"You know just because Father says you have a heart doesn't mean you have to love everyone," I said to my brother as we sought after the lovely performer.

"I wouldn't call it love Brother, what you're doing may be closer to it than I," he said.

My brother left me to return to his search for Lady Yale while I went to join Jin in the courtyard.

There was a full-blown circus. Music was played loud, dancers danced, and perhaps the most notable eye flow went to the many odd performers. As I walked out of the castle into the family of acts, I passed what I assumed were the main attractions.

There was a fire-breather named Salvador. He juggled balls of fire like fruit. As I passed him, he offered to toss me one of his flaming orbs, of course, I declined, but he seemed intent on passing me the ball. He prepared to throw them all my way, and for a moment, I was terrified until he released them up into the air, and they fell into his mouth, extinguishing them. He then regurgitated the orbs and placed one in the palm of my hand. It was a fantastic show, so fantastic that I ignored the substantial amounts of saliva that came with the ball in my palm.

I continued my walk through the courtyard and came across a woman who could change her face. Her skin was grey and her body feminine, but with her hands and makeup, she fit her face to match mine. It was like looking in a mirror as long as I didn't allow my eyes to fall below her shoulders.

Perhaps the most curious performer was a young man in make up. I believe he was known as "Clown" by the sign he wore around his neck. Not "a clown," not "The Clown," just "Clown." Everyone else seemed to avoid him, but to me, he seemed harmless. It's worth mention that he was in an unkempt cage and a tiny one at that. I began to step closer to the bars reaching my hand out to the almost depressing sight of a beaten man. Before my fingers could slip beyond the metal frame, I was finally met by Jin as she pulled me away.

"He only acts sad to draw you in," she said.

"He does it well. Why is he in a cage?" I asked.

"He is Clown," she said.

"What does that mean?"

"He has done things outside the need of the family, so now he is Clown."

"It's a punishment," I said.

"Only for a week or two, he gets a pie in the face and takes the lesser positions in acts," she informed me.

"And he stays in a cage," I repeated.

"To keep him from running when it is his time to perform," she said.

Her accent was so flavorful. It made even the slightest of syllables color-rich. Still, seeing a man, a boy close to my age locked in a cage, was a bit hard to swallow.

"What did he do?" I asked.

"He stole the families money and spent it on cheap wine and entertainment of the cheaper brew," she said before promptly kicking the exterior of the cage enough to make the metal din.

I could understand being punished for going against one's family. Family was all we had after all. Take away the castle, the fortune, the name, and all we were ever left with was family. Loyalty had to be important.

"Don't worry about him. I have an extraordinary surprise for you," she said, offering her delicate hand to mine.

"A surprise greater than that I've seen so far?"

"Greater and growing still as your mind can not comprehend it until your eyes have been opened," she said.

"You give me high expectations," I said as I finally took her hand.

"We would not want them low," she remarked.

She guided me through a sea of performers until we were on the castle's great yard. I suppose I missed the tents being set up the night before because of the cover of the night. Even still, I couldn't believe they managed to set up such high structures without being noticed. How Queen Mother had yet to go into a rage over our castle being overrun by a circus was a mystery, but as I entered the tents with Jin Queen Mother was far from my mind.

It was dark, pitch black, even with daylight outside. I lost Jin in the void and tried to find her. I called out for her but was denied an answer. I couldn't tell where I was, and couldn't find a way out. Then I saw it. A light in the distance. I walked to it and found I couldn't see the hand holding it. As I grew near the flame, It extinguished itself, and once again, I was lost in the dark.

I counted 5 seconds before there was an explosion of light around me. Dancers surrounded me in clothes set on lovely bright, colorful fire. Jin was their center. She sat me in a seat I couldn't see, and it began. I was entranced by stars floating around my head, pulling me into a dream. One by one, fire became constellations until they faded and came again bigger and bright than the last. In the end, all stars dimmed, and Jin came from the above to offer me a soft kiss before she too disappeared like sparks in the night.

I spent the day with Jin and her family. The sight of her at the center of a fading and bright universe of stars stayed in my eyes. Out of all the acts I came to know, her's was the one that spoke to me. I couldn't hear the words, but I knew they were there.

I got to speak to her alone when her family started to pack up their circus. The castle guards felt there were too many unknown faces around at a time when King Father was still recovering, and recovering well might I add.

I took Jin into the gardens on the castle rooftop, and we sat surrounded by juniper trees stretched out to the sky.

"You were right," I said.

"Was I?"

"It was amazing, you are amazing," I offered my admiration for such unknown arts.

"I am but a feather on the bird that is my family," she said.

"You are the eye of your family's bird," I said in an attempt at conveying the same poetic air.

It came out differently than I thought it would in my mind, but she laughed, so I wasn't embarrassed.

"How did you know you wanted to be in a circus," I asked.

"I had no choice; I was born to this life," she said.

"But you seem so happy, so sure of yourself."

"I was born into the circus, but I decided what I would do here. My start was given to me, but I created my path from it. I'm sure you must be doing the same?"

"Making a path? There are only two roads for me to take as an heir to the throne, become king, or don't," I said.

"And which do you want?" she offered the question as a choice.

"You're the first to ask me that," I said.

Everyone always assumed I wanted to be the next king, but I never knew for myself.

"I knew I had to be in this life, but I decided how I would live it, King or no king, circus or no circus, what matters is how you rule your life and what you do with what you are given," she said.

But what life would I have as a king?