I’m Not Doing This With A Friend

✿

Seeing me laying on the bed, it looks like it has been solved well.

The question was ‘how would Leen react?'

‘Was Leen worried?'

She would for sure, unlike me Leen was soft-hearted and kind. I'm sure she was very surprised.

Then…

‘Did she cry?'

Of course, I didn't want her to cry, but on the other hand, it'd be good if Leen cried for me.

It was a contradictory feeling.

That was then…

"I'll go to Carson."

Immediately after hearing the voice that I presumed to be Leen, there was the sound of the doorknob turning.

Carson didn't expect Leen to appear so suddenly or the door would open immediately, so he closed his eyes in bewilderment.

So he pretended to sleep instead.

Carson with his eyes closed didn't know, but Leen's face was swollen when she entered the room. Especially around her eyes.

Leen was actually crying by his side just before Carson woke up.

Then, Leen thought that Carson would be surprised to see her when he woke up, so she came back after washing her face.

However, even after washing her face, tears came out as soon as she saw Carson's face again.

"Really. This fool…"

Leen sat next to the bed where Carson was laying and began to cry again.

‘Why did he foolishly put his hand there? What kind of poison tolerance do you think you have?' ᴸᵉᵉⁿ

If you want to stop it, you'll have to use magic that you use every day. I mean, why in the world did you use your hand?

However, blaming him only made my heart hurt more. Because I knew in the first place that it was my fault.

I would never play such a dangerous joke again.

"Caon, if something wrong happens to you, I would…"

‘What happen? To me?' ᶜᵃʳˢᵒⁿ

What actions should I take and how should I react? I don't know. I didn't know what I would have done…

The death of a loved one has become a wound that wouldn't be healed even once.

But that's twice…

Leen felt something strange about it even as she thought.

...My heart?

…Right.

…I suppose.

Leen admitted that she had been denying it, pushing it aside to the corner for so long.

Carson's one-sided love, at some point, became mutual.

✿

On the other hand, Carson stiffened upon hearing Leen's cry.

I cancelled what I said that I'd feel good if Leen cried.

‘It felt terrible.'

I didn't know what to do, and I don't know how to comfort a crying person. I thought it would be better to close my eyes.

It was a cowardly escape.

"Caon, what if something wrong happened to you…?"

‘What? M-me?'

Carson could hear her saying she would die with him if something had gone wrong.

‘No, I couldn't believe Leen would die…'

It felt like the blood all over my body dried up. But it simply means that she likes me that much…

My heart was pounding like crazy. I was pretending to be sleeping, but it wasn't that bad either.

Carson peeked a little and checked Leen while looking at the timing he would open his eyes.

Even her red swollen eyes were so pretty. But at the same time, my heart ached.

I didn't want Leen to be hurt, so I offered myself instead.

But in the end, it still hurt her. It was my own mistake.

I wish she had stopped her action with magic a little sooner. Or if I had been more insistent when I recognized that Leen was playing a joke.

It was when Carson was constantly blaming himself.

In his narrow field of vision, Leen's wounded knee came.

Perhaps she was slightly injured, and there was dried blood on her calves that started from her knee.

When I checked her wound, even my pounding heart cooled down.

Carson forgot that he had been pretending to be asleep until just before, and jumped up.

"Leen, wha-what's that blood…!"

Leen, startled by his sudden movement, raised her gaze and looked at him.

"…Caon?"

Leen confirmed with eyes that Carson was fine, and hugged him tightly.

"Caon!"

Carson managed to put up with Leen's actions and gasped.

"That's a relief… I'm so glad."

Leen was purely focused on the fact that he had woken up, but not Carson himself.

His hands wandered in the air with no place to go. Carson was not confident enough to face her casually.

At that moment, Carson realized that his shoulder was getting wet.

Leen was crying with her face buried on my shoulder.

I was about to open my lips and ask where she got hurt. When I realized that Leen was crying in my arms, my voice didn't come out as if it was blocked by something.

Carson held firm from being confused.

I didn't have time to do this foolishly. Didn't Leen get hurt?

Come to think of it, if she had fallen, she would have hurt not only her knees but also some other places as well.

I wanted to see with my own eyes how much she got injured, but now I couldn't do anything because Leen was hugging me.

Instead of opening my mouth and speaking out, I quietly cast healing magic.

Fortunately, the wound healed quickly.

No one knew whether the quick healing was due to Leen's shallow wound or because Carson used his mana tremendously.

After a while, Leen, who stopped crying, fell off Carson's shoulder.

He felt deeply regretful for the warmth that was receding away, but he didn't try to express it.

When I faced Leen's sobbing, tears that had not yet flowed were welling up around her eyes, and on her reddened cheeks, tears that had not yet dried were clearly visible.

‘I didn't know what to say.'

Should I ask where she got hurt? Should I comfort her and ask where she was injured?

Leen began to tell him about what she thought of his silence.

"The other kids even saw me feeding you antidote, and then went back to the monster habitat. The cores we left and the mess we left behind…"

"Leen."

Carson, who cut her off in the middle, smiled bitterly.

"That's not what I want to know…"

Carson's hand brushed against Leen's face and then fell. In a short time, a magic circle appeared, and her face became clean.

"How did you get hurt?"

"I fell down…"

"Because of me?"

Leen, who was trying to deny it and say ‘no‘, stopped talking. He was already sure of the answer and asked.

"Yeah. I fell a few times while running to give you the antidote as fast as I could."

Carson chewed on his lips. Leen laughed helplessly at his appearance.

"I know, so, why… wasn't that right instead? I was very resistant. You knew clearly that I was playing around."

"My body moved on it's own."

It was an honest answer. Not even a single lie was mixed.

Leen felt that her tears, which had ceased at that fact, would come pouring again.

"I knew you were this kind of person… It's my fault, but I'm sorry that I blamed you, Caon."

"No, Leen."

This was all my fault.

Carson stared at Leen's face.

"You got hurt because I didn't stop it properly. I was stupid to think that all I had to do was stop the needle."

Leen shook her head.

"It doesn't matter that I got hurt. You almost died."

"No. There's nothing more important to me than that. Besides, Leen doesn't like to get hurt."

"Everyone hates being sick or wounded."

Carson held the tip of Leen's hair and raised it. On top of it was Carson's lips.

"You hate it even more, Leen."

He whispered low as if he knew everything. Leen shivered.

‘I don't know how Carson knew, but it was true.' ᴸᵉᵉⁿ

Leen hated the pain so much. Especially physical injuries.

"…I'm okay with needles or poison's fine."

It's because I've been close to developing resistance since I was little.

"I'm not okay with it."

"Caon."

"Even if you were resistant, it was poisonous. If there's any chance you'd be in danger, I'd rather be sick."

"You…"

Leen was confused.

Why does he like me so much?

Carson's eyes looked straight at me. So, I started to doubt it without realizing it.

Oddly enough, it was.

It was evident that his thoughts were self-defense. He has already experienced a similar betrayal of others.

‘What have I done to you?'

It's not that long since I've met him, wasn't it?

There were countless reasons why I liked Carson.

Or the way he becomes kind to me. When he's giving me gifts, he looks happier than I, who receives it.

How about his cheeks that turn red without him knowing what to do when I play pranks on Carson?

…Being jealous and wary.

…Sometimes being serious.

He was a lovely person without any hatred in his heart.

In the end, Leen closed her eyes and spat out the words buried in her heart.

"Why are you so foolish? In the first place, wasn't it just because of my appearance that you liked me? If it's a love that started so lightly, it will end soon…!"

Don't act like you're going to give your life, and just finish it.

Carsion, who was silently listening to Leen, soon met her gaze and stared intently..

"It's true that I quickly fell in love with you. I fell in love with you at first sight."

"Look, it may have started like that…"

"But, Leen. Even if I didn't fall in love with you at first sight, it wouldn't take long for me to fall in love with you."

Carson smiled brightly as he relaxed his expression.

"Your mischievous laughter that only comes out when joking around. The way you look at me when you think it's too much."

...Your half-asleep face or when you're sleepy…

…The way you shine when you look at the medicinal herbs.

…Even the boldness of not being afraid of monsters.

"And… Even the way you care about me like this. You don't know how attractive you are."

Leen thought that Carson's endless reasons seemed to overlap with her reasons for liking him.

"And… Did I seem to like you lightly?"

He shook his head as if possessed by the words that sounded like a confession. Carson smiled contentedly at Leen and let her hair loose.

"So don't get sick, don't get hurt. Don't cry because of me. I'll take over your tears. Okay?

Crying was also a means of expression, but you won't even let me do that.

"…That's so selfish, Caon."

With a blunt remark, he smiled and responded.

"Do you get it now? Leen must have also heard of it, too, my rumor."

"Those nonsense rumors?"

"…If they were true? Maybe it's more than just a rumor." Saying that, Carson looked somewhat nervous.

Come to think of it, when I saw him spraying water on Kun before and said, ‘It's strange,' he reacted sensitively.

‘Had I been concerned about the rumors all along?' ᴸᵉᵉⁿ