I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

On the day of his visit to the Imperial Palace, Fernan felt some strange emotion when he saw Julia sleeping in his bedroom without permission.

So he called the doctor and had her treated. He didn’t care one bit if she lay there sick or died that way, no, it would have been better if she had died.

So, in the end, his feelings at that moment must have been closer to momentary pity. 

Pity. It was a word that didn’t quite fit with him.

“It’s cold.”

She didn’t wake up after hours, and rambled on, buoyed by the medicinal feeling. Then, after a while, she woke up and called him with dazed and wet eyes.

“…Your Highness?”

He felt strange for a moment at the sight of her.

A woman with unpleasantly beautiful eyes. She was a woman who looked like the Marquis, but not like him.

Unlike the Marquis, who was easy to understand, she was a woman whose heart was difficult to grasp. So, when he tried to interrogate her in a bit of a vulgar way, she dismissed him with a tearful look on her face.

“I just…I just wanted to say something. I didn’t come here hoping for this….”

She slipped out of bed in a hurry and collapsed in a heap.

He didn’t know why her small body looked so weak for a moment as she shivered and curled up. He didn’t know why he felt so guilty as she tried to sit up.

Guilt. Fernan was appalled. He was shaken by this woman for a while by her appearance.

Even if he had plenty of time, he scattered the time in the air that he would not have given to Marquis Elody’s daughter.

Yes, it was obvious that something was written on it. (On the medicine bottle)

“Um, Your Highness… that’s not what I was looking for…”

Julia stared at him with an earnest expression. Her eyes were clear and watery, as usual.

“Ha…”

How many people had she fooled with this innocent face so far? He was sure it was not a small number. He was almost possessed for a moment.

The thought that he drank the potion and turned into a beast made him chuckle.

It wasn’t very difficult for Fernan to find out about this.

It was just that the last time the Marquis was here visiting Julia, Sezak* overheard the conversation between the Marquis and Julia. (*I’m not sure if the servant or who that is.)

“Your Highness, Marquis Elody has secretly made contact with the Grand Duchess. Here, I wrote down part of the conversation.”

Just before the Marquis left Fernan’s office, Sezak quietly handed the note to Fernan.

Speaking of the contents, the Marquis told Julia to use the medicine on Fernan and Julia replied that she would use the medicine in the near future.

After reading the letter, Fernan immediately sent people to the castle and ordered them to search every nook and cranny in Julia’s room.

And as soon as they came back from the Grand Duke’s castle, they found a bottle and letters in Julia’s room.

This medicine was normally used by those who lacked so-called sexual functions, but it was mixed with ingredients like hallucinogens and was secretly distributed even among some nobles.

It was not just a drug that simply ended at the level of raising one’s desire.

“I, I never meant to use the drug. I was going to throw it away right away..”

Julia shrank back in fright, stuttering and insisting on her innocence.

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

Intercepting her words, Fernan uncorked the medicine bottle.

He slowly tilted his hand and poured the contents down her feet, wetting Julia’s dress. The bottom of her white dress was now completely wet.

“The important thing is that I have no reason to respect you any more.”

Julia’s eyes gradually turned red as she looked down at her dress.

Looking at her coldly, Fernan threw away the empty medicine bottle on the floor.

Flinching at the sharp sound, Julia’s lips quivered as she looked up at Fernan.

“Your Highness…”

Fernan ignored her words and walked away. With a violent crash of the door, his figure disappeared completely.

***

“Look, here she is again.”

“Why does she keep coming when she’s going to be ignored anyway?”

Julia ignored the whispering servants and entered the main hall.

For days now, she had been waiting for Fernan to make his appearance.

Fernan had thoroughly ignored her and refused to listen, yet Julia had made a great effort to attempt to talk.

He had every right to misunderstand, and every right to be angry.

But she didn’t want to let herself be misunderstood like this. 

“Your Highness.”

Entering the lobby, Fernan walked mindlessly past the servants as he always did. He then walked past Julia, who was standing at the far end. 

Julia hurried to follow him as he stepped out of the doorway.

“Your Highness, please wait a moment.”

Suddenly Julia grabbed his hand, Fernan finally stopped and looked at her with a cold stare.

Holding one of his hands firmly in both of hers, Julia looked up at him with a limp face. 

“Just for a moment, please. Talk to me…..”

“Why don’t you just stop?”

A tremendous voice intercepted her words.

“Didn’t I tell you? You should refrain from visiting me like this in the morning.”

“I have something to say to Your Highness….”

As Julia firmly spoke, Fernan’s gaze became even colder.

“Why can’t you understand?”

“…”

“I don’t have any respect for you, so don’t play tricks and just stay in your bedroom.”

 He coldly spoke without mercy.

Julia looked at him nonchalantly, but she couldn’t hide her trembling hands.

All the servants were watching the scene with great interest.

It was already well known among the servants that Fernan was not very fond of his wife. But, they didn’t think he disliked her to this extent. The look in Fernand’s eyes towards my wife was not just cold but brutal.

“If you wanted to make me feel bad in the morning, you succeeded.”

Somewhat dazed, Fernan lightly shook off Julia’s hand.

Julia watched him as he walked out the doorway, her hand still remained flinching. The small murmur of the servants stuck in her ears.They glanced at Julia, then quickly scattered in all directions.

Standing alone in the instantly silent lobby, Julia turned away with an indifferent look on her face.

There was no time to be hurt and shrivel up. She looked back at the vow she had made so many times in her mind. The vow that she would fulfill her duty and try to be as useful to Fernan as possible. She didn’t know when Fernan would forgive her,  but she was willing to try anything.

‘First, I can read the ledgers, then I can look around the castle to see if there’s anything that needs to be repaired, and if there is still too much time, I’ll go to ….’

“Duchess.. Are you okay?”

As Julia walked up the stairs, lost in thought, Melissa came running from a distance with a surprised look on her face. Julia looked calm, however, she didn’t even know her face was soaking wet.

“Duchess, please go back to your room first. Yes?” 

A frazzled Melissa took out a handkerchief and held it to Julia’s eyes.

After Melissa wiped her eyes, Julia blinked slowly. The situation seemed unreal as if the world had somehow floated away.

Melissa was soothing her, but Julia’s tears kept streaming down.

“Thank you, Melissa. I’m fine. You can go and do your thing.”

This much was worth enduring. She didn’t even know why she was suddenly crying.

“I’ll have a proper dialogue with him and everything will be better after some time.”

She believed in the goodwill he had shown her, even if it was only for a short time. She believed that he still had the heart that cared about her and made time for her.

She might have finally gotten her senses back, but she couldn’t move her feet easily.

Julia persisted in climbing the remaining steps. At that moment, the cruel words that the Marchioness had been telling her habitually flashed past her ears.

“I want you to have no illusions that your life will change just because you became a Grand Duchess. No matter how much you hide the fact that you’re an illegitimate child, you can’t hide your lowly roots.”

‘You can’t dream of happiness when you’re a lowly person, can you?’

Julia shook her head, trying to muffle the tears that constantly covered her eyes and the evil mixture of voices that entered her ears.

”It’s okay,” she said. “Everything will get better.” 

She repeated as if brainwashing herself and bit her lip so hard that blood oozed from it.