I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

“Are you uncomfortable with me?"

When Cedric asked, Julia shook her head in surprise.

"Not at all. I just feel like Cedric is having a hard time because of me…"

"If it's just for that reason, I'd be happy to stay with you forever.”

"But…"

Julia looked at him a little puzzled. She had no idea why he would go this far for her.

"Let me watch over Julia until you adjust to your new life."

"…"

"I know it might sound ridiculous, but Julia reminds me of my old self."

He has helped Julia so far not only because of Matheus’ request. Julia, who tried to escape the past and live somehow, kept overlapping with himself in the past. 

Cedric was a slave from a small country. A slave, born with a rare and mysterious holy power, exploited from an early age by his master. 

It was Matheus, his current master, who helped him escape from the pitch-black agony of seeing no way forward.

He felt a deep solidarity with Julia from the very beginning, though he could not see her situation and his as completely the same.

Just as he had been saved by Matheus and found a life as a priest, so he hoped that Julia would be happy with his meager help.

Cedric looked at her with a gentle smile.

"So I hope you will not be uncomfortable by my helping Julia.”

Tapping his chin, Cedric huffed and continued to speak. 

"You said you wanted to make friends. Will you make me your first friend?"

"…"

Julia stared at him with wide open eyes, then smiled softly.

"…Yes."

From the beginning, Julia also felt an unfamiliar familiarity with Cedric.

Perhaps it was because she first met him in his child form. He was as fresh as a blade of grass. She had always thought that talking with him made her feel at peace. 

Cedric smiled gently as he gazed at Julia . And finally, she too lifted her lips comfortably.

***

The Holy Land they arrived at after a long time was an archaic yet contributed country. The history of the country serving God was felt in the styles of buildings everywhere.

Gazing blankly at the monotonous streets, Julia felt her heart tingle for a moment. In fact, her body hadn't been feeling very well throughout the entire trip.

She had rested for quite a long time at the monastery, but it didn't seem to be getting much better.

As she exhaled slowly and pulled her mind together, the carriage passed through the forest and entered the castle grounds.

Its arrival point was a village that had a rural feel to it.

Here and there, they could see farms raising flocks of sheep and shallow flowing streams.

Most of all, what caught Julia's gaze at once was the endless grasslands far away.

Julia's eyes, which had been gazing blankly at the window, forgetting her pain, began to shine before she knew it.

She had never seen such a peaceful and beautiful landscape in her life.

The carriage drove for a while along the grassy field, and soon stopped in front of a large stone building.

It was the Helios Monastery, their destination. The first thing she saw was a group of children playing in the small front yard.

"Julia, you can get out now.”

Cedric opened the door and gave her a small smile. Julia got out of the carriage with a trembling heart.

As soon as they were out of the carriage, a middle-aged woman standing in the yard greeted them warmly.

"Oh, you must have had a hard time coming here"

"Long time no see, Gabrielle. How have you been?"

Cedric shook her hand with a look of happiness on his face. Gabrielle was an administrator who had worked at the monastery for a long time.

Basically, a monastery was a place for priests to gather and spend time together, but this place also served as an orphanage.

Gabrielle was the one who brought in the children who had nowhere else to go and took care of them, acting as their guardian.

From what she heard when she came, she was like a parent to Cedric as well.

“Um, hello.”

Hesitantly, Julia greeted her cautiously, and Gabrielle said, "Oh dear!” as she belatedly grabbed Julia’s hand.

“You’re Julia, right? I heard about you from Master Matheus."

"Yes, I will be indebted to you for the time being."

“What are you talking about? It's your home, you should feel at ease. You’ve worked hard.”

Warm eyes, warm voice. Julia couldn't help but bow her head at Gabrielle's gentle gaze. It was because she felt like she was about to cry.

"Yes, I know everything. You don't have to say it.”

Gabriel patted her lightly on the back of Julia’s small hand.

Most of the children in this monastery were abandoned or abused.

Gabrielle, who had taken care of such children, could clearly see someone's scars.

Julia was another child who was too young and scarred in her eyes.

“There will only be good days now. Huh? Just think about being happy."

Julia nodded with her red eyes. Gabrielle's words spread through her mind like magic.

There would  be only good days from now on. She thought she would be able to be happy. It was the first time she could be sure of something in her heart that had been unstable for so long.

"Who is it?"

At that time, a child pulled Gabrielle’s sleeve and asked. A curious but wary expression came to Julia's face.

"This is the sister who will be staying with Theo. Come on, let's say hello to your sister."

"…"

The child named Theo winced and hid behind Gabrielle.

"The children here are still having trouble with strangers."

Gabrielle whispered. Julia bent her knees as she looked at Theo, who was peeking.

"Hello. Theo. I'm Julia."

"…."

"Let's be good friends from now on."

When Julia smiled, Theo, who was blinking his big eyes, clapped his small lips and completely hid behind Gabrielle.

Julia slowly got up. She knew that she and the children needed time to get used to each other. Moving to a different location, Julia asked Gabrielle for more information about life in the monastery. The monastery was divided into two buildings, one with a chapel and the other for for accommodation and lodging.

Julia was shown to an empty room, unpacked, and sat down on the bed.

It was a cozy room, small but large enough for one person to use.

From the window, she could see a small rear garden behind the building. A flower bed placed in the corner was beautifully blooming with spring flowers.

Julia approached the window and looked at the flower bed with a slightly excited expression on her face. The center of the flower bed was full of white lilies, her favorite flower. The flowers swayed in the breeze, as if welcoming her to a new beginning.

Life at the monastery was going smoothly.

The village where Julia stayed was one of the most secluded and quiet territories in the Holy Land.

It was a small territory covered with wide grasslands to the south and surrounded by mountains bordering other countries to the north.

It was a place where there was very little interaction with the rest of the world, and a peaceful and relaxed atmosphere prevailed.

It was an unfamiliar peace that she had never felt while living in the Empire, but it came every day.

It didn't take long for Julia to fall in love with the village.

She decided to help Gabrielle and take care of the children of the monastery. At first, the children were unfamiliar with her, but they gradually began to open up to her kind attitude.

 "Wow!"

Julia let out a small laugh as she watched the children running around among the swaying grass.

It was the greenest, most peaceful day of the year, the end of spring.

"Julia!"

At that moment, a child with her hair tied up in a pretty bun ran over to Julia. It was a little girl named Rosemary.

Rosemary was a lively girl who was particularly easygoing with Julia since their first meeting.

"I'm giving this to Julia!"

Rosemary squeezed Julia's hand and tugged.

She put a flower ring on Julia’s finger, which she had woven with her little hands. The ring was a mess in her tiny hands, but Julia patted Rosemary's head happily.

“Thank you, Rose. It's beautiful.”

"Hehe!"

Rosemary's eyes lit up as she looked at Julia, who was pleasantly looking at the pretty flower ring.

“You know, Rose is going to marry a prince later, right? I want a big palace, a pretty dress, an entrance, and a sparkly jewelry ring!"

"Yes, I do. Rose can be a princess."

Julia responded by sweeping over the disorganized child's hair. Rosemary stared at Julia and asked.

"Who is Julia going to marry?"

Julia’s eyes opened wide at the sudden question, and she couldn't reply for a while.

Julia esitated for a moment then replied casually.

“Hmm…I don’t know. Who should I marry?”

"Julia should marry a prince, too! Be a princess like Rose!"

Julia just gave a small laugh when she saw Rosemary smiling brightly. Rosemary stayed next to her, chatting for a while, and then quickly ran off to join the other children. 

Julia stared at her and lowered her gaze with a subtle expression. Sometimes she didn't know how she should feel when a moment like this came to remind her of the past. 

Even though only one season had passed, it somehow felt like too old a memory. Was it because she was satisfied with her life here?

Or was it because of the desperate desire to forget the past?

However, after inevitably recalling the memories of that time, it opened the door and brought out other memories.

The first thing that came to her mind was Fernan.

‘I'll probably think of him for a while.'

She loved him with all her heart and she wouldn’t be able to forget him for a long time.

After spacing out for a while, Julia averted her gaze and looked over the meadow. This was her home now, this was her life.

One day, she hoped, she would not have to worry about remembering the past like this.