I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

The soft, warm hand felt vivid.  Julia, whom he remembered even before falling asleep, was by his side.

 Fernan opened his eyes and got his body up in a hurry.  His golden eyes, still unable to grasp the situation, caught her in his eyes endlessly.

 However, Julia's presence was so vivid that it brought him a sense of reality little by little.

 Julia waited calmly until he fully recognized her.  After some time passed, Fernan spoke in a confused voice.

 “…. Why."

 “…..”

 “Why are you here……”

 Fernan knew that Julia left the Empire safely. He thought that disappearing completely from her sight was the way for Julia to be completely free.

 So, of course, he never thought that Julia would be in the Empire.

 He never thought that she would appear in front of him again like this.

 It certainly was, but at this moment, Julia was looking at him from a very close distance.

With watery eyes and a clear smile, she made eye contact with him.

Fernan slowly reached out and touched her cheek. The feel of her skin was vivid in his hand.  Julia did not let go of his hand that had touched her. She clasped the back of his hand tightly, as if reassuring him, and she buried her cheek in his hand more deeply.

 Fernan's eyes gradually began to tremble.

 It was strange.  Julia couldn’t act like this. He was sure all Julia’s memories were already back by now.

 So she should have avoided him and shunned him.

 When Fernan could no longer speak with such thoughts, Julia whispered in a quiet voice,

 “All my memories came back.”

 At those words, Fernan visibly clenched his hand. Julia continued speaking without letting go of his hand.

 “So, what I’m saying from now on is my only sincerity.”

 Her blue eyes that had shone brightly fell down for a moment, and then she turned to him again.

 At this moment, Julia had so many things she wanted to convey to him.

 “Whenever I was in danger, Your Highness somehow came and saved me. Time and time again.”

 With a calm voice, Julia recalled the countless times he had come to save her.

 For the first time, when war with monsters broke out in the Holy Kingdom.  And when he risked his life to find the High Priest to save her, who was dying.

 And half a year ago, when she was taken to the Imperial Palace by the Emperor.

 “…Thank you for finding me till the end.”

 It was a late thank you. She lost her memory and misunderstood him, and she couldn't say it during such a complicated time.

 Julia gently raised her lips.  Fernan was listening to her, barely breathing.

 “Your Highness, do you remember what you promised me?”

 “….”

 “You said we’ll be together forever, don’t worry about anything.”

 It was the promise he made while walking through the forest together last fall, when Julia, who had lost her memory, returned to the castle.

It was an empty promise that Fernan made even knowing it wouldn’t come true, but Julia never forgot that promise.

 And now that all her memories were restored, his promise was still valid for her.  She put her hand down slowly, Julia let go of his hand that was on her cheek, and then she reached out again and touched his body.

 She touched the body that had been cut and torn and full of scars, then said.

 “You said my happiness is also happiness for Your Highness.”

 “…  ”

 "So……  Let's be happy together."

 Fernan's gaze began to fluctuate greatly at the sound of her sorrowful voice that did not hide her trembling.

 With his dry lips twitching, he asked in a shaky voice.

“…  Don't you resent me?"

Unlike a man who was always strong and relentless, Fernan deeply contorted the corners of his eyes as if he was unsure.

 Fernan had always thought he had ruined her happiness. He thought she would hate him forever. 

 Therefore, for Fernan, everything Julia said now was sudden and difficult to believe.  As much as he doubted that he was still dreaming.

 Julia answered with a slightly clearer voice, as if reassuring him.

 “I don’t resent you.”

 Julia recalled the attitude of this man in the past.  Fernan, who had saved her many times and endured her hatred again, was always silent.

She had never been able to fully feel his sincerity and she had to reject him because she couldn't believe all the emotions he showed her.

 But as time passed, she stood up, and stood a step back and thought.

 It was only then that she could feel it. She knew that there wasn't a single moment that wasn't his sincerity.

Fernan had regretted the past that he had hurt her, and tried to undo all of it.

 And in the end, he really wanted her to be happy.

 Julia looked at him with deep affection.  Still, Fernan asked again with a weak face that had never been seen by anyone.

 “Then…  Don't you hate me?"

 As if he still couldn't believe her words, Fernan covered his eyes with a trembling hand.

 “Even if I want to be by your side again……  ”

 “…  ”

 “…..Can I hold you?”

 To him who kept asking, Julia stretched out her arm without answering.

 Julia wrapped his broad back and buried her face in his shoulder.

 The sound of his heart could be heard from the bodies touching each other.  She felt his stiff breath, and Julia answered without hesitation.

 “Even if Your Highness doesn’t hold me, I will be by your side.”

 Julia hugged him a little deeper and whispered.

 "Now…  Because I want you.”

 The answer completely poured out her suppressed emotions.  Fernan pulled Julia in front of him with great force.

 In an instant, Julia, who was sitting on his legs, naturally grabbed his neck.  At the same time, Fernan pulled her closer to him.

 Fernan closed his eyes as he listened to her heavy breathing flowing from her.

 Julia said she wanted him.  It was an unbelievable word that he had never imagined even in a dream.

 However, Julia, now wrapping her arms around him, was a clear reality.

 Fernan muttered without hiding his trembling.

 “…  I want you too.”

 At his desperate voice, Julia smiled and nodded.

 At the warm embrace that permeated pleasantly, Julia felt the emotions rising deep in her heart.

 As if time had stopped for a moment, they felt each other's body temperature. His cold body quickly melted as it came into contact with Julia.

 Before long, Fernan poured out the words he had kept inside, along with his longing feelings.

 “I won’t ask you to love me again, I can love you alone, so forever, just stay by my side.”

 “….”

 “I don't need anything else.  As long as you are with me I can do anything. You can use me and deceive me. But don’t leave anymore….”

 At his rambling words, Julia smiled, feeling like she was about to cry.

 Fernan, who pulled Julia in even deeper, let out a belated, but more earnest word than ever.

 “I love you, Julia."

 Julia felt her heart start to beat. She couldn't tell if it was hers or this man's, but it didn't matter.

 As she embraced him by the shoulder, Julia, who opened a small gap, looked at him quietly.  The eyes of the two intertwined.

 Julia smiled sweeter than ever as she stroked his cheek.

 "I love you too.”

 With those words, Fernan broke the single string that was barely holding on to her, and hurriedly lowered his head to her.

 The moment his lips touched hers, Julia happily closed her eyes.

 As if not to miss a single breath that was passing, they hugged each other again.

 Yes, it was love. Julia felt it clearly at this moment.

 There were moments when she thought she didn't love him, but at the very bottom of her feelings that were entangled with him, there was always love.

 When she fully accepted her heart, the tears that she had been holding back over and over fell from Julia's eyes.

 Fernan wiped all the tears that flowed down her cheeks into her hand.  Meanwhile, the burning kiss continued more passionately.

 "ha… .”

 The moment her lips parted slightly, Julia noticed that the corners of Fernan's eyes were also wet.

 Julia, who was exhaling, raised her hand and wiped his feverish eyes.

 Her heart broke at the tears she saw from him for the first time, and at the same time, her affection surged.

 This man had always protected her, but now this man looked unstable and precarious….. Now she wanted to protect him.

 She lowered her hand that had touched his eyes, and Julia placed her lips on his again.  To the clumsy kiss that continued, Fernan gladly responded.

 Finally, it was the moment when everything was filled.

 ****

 There was warm sunlight.

 At the same time, there was a familiar winter scent right next to him.

 Julia lifted her heavy eyelids.  Then, immediately, the body of a large and strong man caught her eyes.

 Julia, who slowly blinked her eyes a few times, looked at Fernan, who embraced her body completely.

 He was in a deep sleep with a rare relaxed expression.