I Possessed the Villain in the Lily Novel

162 – Necrosis (13)

I lived a life of shame.

I couldn’t understand what human life was.

“Iva? Are you okay?”

“Of course. I know this way well.”

I think it was when I heard the difference between a slave and a human. I became obsessed with human life. The antinomic distinction the owner spoke of still looms in my heart and eats away at me like a curse.

To be arrogant, as if being human requires some qualifications.

However, the qualifications that were formed were as strong as a castle wall and hardly changed. There are so many qualifications needed to cross over to the human country, so I still just hit the wall at random.

“…How?”

“Huh?”

“How do you know the way here? Isn’t this your first trip?”

“Uh…”

Facing a certain devil, I acknowledged my slavery, accepted the devil, and admitted that I was a candidate for the Demon King. I acknowledged all my identities.

As a result, I had to put all my negativity on my shoulders and beat that wall.

Ownership means responsibility. I could look away as much as I could when it wasn’t my own, but I can’t do that anymore.

I must feel responsible for all the causalities surrounding me.

I can’t just ignore the mistakes that happened that day.

The self-loathing I felt at the moment I had narcissism is ironic.

“Sure.”

It’s a complicated life.

I felt hunger and thirst when I was happy in the hope that I had escaped from slavery.

If you meet a friend in loneliness and quietly feel affection, one day you will suffer from the pain of loss.

When you think of the person you killed and care for a new life, the new life is lost before it blooms due to the kite born from the person you killed.

There is always loss as much as hope is gained.

As I quietly roll my body on the bridle, I wonder if this is human life.

“Don’t talk back.”

“hahahaha, spinning is fun. I’m spinning right now.”

“…What?”

“Ring round and round. Very well.”

From noble mtl dot com

Someone once said, ‘The pain that doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger’.

Not for me.

The pain was like a violent blizzard walking through the snow, only shaving away my body.

“…Iva?”

The chain of hope is indeed complex.

When I first experienced this possession, I thought it was a hope for me.

But I soon realized that wasn’t the case. It was a childish possession of evil that kept me farther away from humans.

Not only that, but the cause of that possession was the starting point of all my pain.

Did that book just make me unhappy?

The reason I read that book is my friend. Through this, I was able to get closer to my friends. Should I resent this friend if I go back to the source?

As my life was linked to that book, I gained many connections. Even if it’s just a relationship next to me right now, it started from that book. A precious person who risked his life for me.

To say that the hero and the sage ruined my whole life, I had already received a lot. Then where should my anger be directed?

The bridle is twisted and crumpled rather than a proper circle, and does not give proper rewards and rewards. I have already returned far to find the cause of my unhappiness.

Like the back of a ship disappearing over the horizon, too far away.

But what I did is clear. He went mad and made someone suffer, and in the end, even brought him to death. I can no longer trust myself. Who said emotions are temporary but results are forever? Really, that’s what it says.

If you get caught up in such a temporary emotion and end up becoming the Demon King, who will be responsible for the outcome?

I have given up trusting myself now.

And just like that, the last person I could trust disappeared.

“Where are you going?”

“Lilia, are you still going through the ordeal of ‘survive’?”

“…? No, that’s not important right now.”

“Answer me.”

No matter how hard the days are, there is always one happy thing.

However, it is too much for us to continue to live this dark life, using the small satisfaction we found in the midst of deficiency as our lifeline.

Looking for hope is now painful.

The future where someone dies after becoming a demon king is drawn. It is so difficult to find the cause in such a complex twisted girdle. If you follow who started first, you will eventually come to the conclusion that ‘I’m out of luck’.

If you look for a new origin because it’s unfair, you’ll have already consumed all your time and died.

Ever since I so intuited my destiny, since I discovered the origin of my suffering, since I discovered this strange chain of hope, I was no longer half mad.

When I hit someone’s neck, I was sure.

I know it’s a delusion.

I know it’s fear.

I was scared.

You’re tired.

The ever-changing emotional ups and downs accidentally reached the end of melancholy.

“…For me, the ordeal was over when I woke up after a few days’ sleep. Maybe my target was a death demon.”

“Then I’m glad.”

Finding the culprit is tiring, contemplation is arduous, correction, repentance, and atonement are difficult.

It’s easy to stop.

As it rots and eventually collapses, it is necrosis.

I thought the thing I struggled with until now was the wide sea, but I thought it had infinite possibilities. As it turned out, it was just a puddle of dirt from which I couldn’t escape properly.

My throat hurt like it was about to burn. This feeling of sand in your mouth helps you kill unnecessary emotions.

Everything I saw around me was faces I encountered at one time. The people I once killed were still alive and well, with the same appearances as when I was about to kill them.

On second thought, this place wasn’t terrible.

It was truly an opportunity.

I don’t have the courage to kill myself, but I have the courage to kill others, so I can use this as an opportunity.

“Then, my ordeal is exactly what I had in mind.”

Here I am.

I was just released from slavery and was the happiest.

I sincerely hope that my delusion does not disappear while I am on my way.

**

“No.”

Stella firmly rejected Innis’ offer.

“…Why?”

Innis was not the only one who saw the child’s wounds. Stella, who saw that, was understandably furious. The blood cooled and boiled over and over again, and the rage that did not go away was enough to make me roll my eyes.

“A child of that age will end up sitting on the side of the road without a guardian.”

But. Endured for none other than a child.

“Looking at the bare ribs, at least I wasn’t starving. What do you think would happen to a child with no means of earning being alone in this day and age?”

“…”

“Sorry Innis, but I can’t help it.”

She repeated it.

“It can’t be helped…”

As if a sheep trying to convince himself.

“So, then, let’s leave that child alone?”

But Innis was not easily convinced. I accepted it rationally, but my emotions forbade it. I couldn’t let the past of the person I liked be unhappy.

“Of course, there are other ways.”

Someone said that after some time someone would kill that owner. Now this intervention may bring about a great butterfly effect. The knowledge gained from numerous media cultivated over the years poses the danger of time paradox.

But.

“We’re teaching it. Stick to that child until he returns to his original world. Protect himself and teach him how to survive in the future.”

It is cowardly to turn a blind eye to a child who suffers for such reasons.

Stella held onto Innis’ shoulders and continued. A strong grip was felt, but Innis did not frown in pain.

“Killing the master… Comes next.”

Don’t ruin everything with a moment of pity. Thoroughly.

“Okay?”

Take someone you love as your disciple. Don’t you feel any romance? Stella forced a smile and persuaded Innis.

“…For now, I understand.”

Innis nodded heavily.

“Then I have to teach letters from now on.”

“I don’t like it.”

As soon as Stella put an end to her small whisper and turned her back with a bright smile, she was resolutely rejected.

“This kid… Doesn’t like it.”

The child’s eyes were sharp as she was still leaning on Wiz and wary of the two. Stella had no choice but to withdraw, holding back her tears.

“Because I’ll tie you up… First of all, the two of you can put the child at ease… Can you separate them for a moment…?”

“Ah! Exclusive? It’s despicable!”

“Even, monopoly?! That, something like that… Isn’t it……”

Maybe.

I didn’t bother to say the last words.

With a suspicious glance, Innis took out the staff he was carrying and held it up. He was one of those makeshift staffs.

As I swung it, a bright and pretty light welled up from the tip of the staff. Drawing hearts and other patterns with it, Innis smiled brightly.

“Look~? Sister, can you do something like this?”

“…It’s magic.”

“How is it? Isn’t it amazing? If you tell my sister, she can teach you!”

The child muttered as he hid inside Wiz’s shoulder again.

“No, not particularly strange…”

“…!?”

I thought it would work for sure!

The magic she tried by recalling her own past experiences did not make much of an impression on the child. It was natural. Growing up in the city, he already had the experience of looking sideways at the magic of many people.

“…Innis. You seem to be wary too?”

“Sir, it’s noisy!”

In the end, Innis had no choice but to give up and withdraw.

“Then we’ll hang around a bit to make up for Innis’ wasted wand.”

“Me, waste! This was all necessary…”

“Yes yes. You guys are hanging out.”

Like that, the two of them left behind the sadness of not being able to play with the child and avoided the body until he calmed down.

It was only then that the child came out over Wiz’s shoulder.

“…Are you gone?”

“Yes. I went…”

“Whew…”

Only then did the child sit down next to Wiz and open the book he had been given.

“This book… By Tom Sawyer… Huh?”

Then I started to read more and more. Wiz asked in surprise.

“What…? Can you read…?”

“I can’t read most of them. I just learned from stealing a few from my master’s study. I’m assuming that someone can read this like an asshole.”

“Still, it’s amazing…”

Wiz smiled proudly.

“As expected, Eba has been smart since the old days… Aww.”

“?”

“Oh, nothing…”

“What is it? What a fool.”

The child said in his own way. I don’t know what swearing is, so I didn’t use ‘sickness’ and ‘sickness’, which were previously judged to be swearing.

“…Yes. Stupid.”

“Will I lose money later if I’m honest?”

“You know what I mean?”

“I don’t know what the damage is!”

The child looked at his eyes and carefully asked.

“I just had a terrible thought.”

“What is it?”

“My sister… She’s a pervert like the two of you earlier… Treating her so kindly is all a lie! Same idea.”

“You’re too honest… Didn’t I say earlier… That if I’m honest… I’ll lose money…?”

“Of course I did. But isn’t it too frustrating not being able to talk? I’m going to live at a loss! I don’t know what that is!”

At those words, Wiz laughed briskly.

“Of course not me… It’s not because they hate you… It’s because they love you so much… I’m afraid the wounds on your body might be serious…”

“If you take off other people’s clothes just because you like them, you’re crazy!”

“Whoops… That’s right…”

The child stopped reading and covered his chin. It was impossible to decipher, so it seemed that he finally gave up.

“Then your sister doesn’t like me?”

“…What?”

“You said they tried to undress me because they liked it.”

The child still spoke frankly, without hiding anything.

“Then did my sister stay quiet because she didn’t like me? Or just because she wasn’t interested? Or, like I imagined earlier, is she actually a more terrifying pervert?”

He asked.

Why didn’t you approach me?

Your love for me is not enough compared to the two of you.

“Or… Are you afraid of me?”

It was said jokingly, but more than anything, it hit the point.

What are you afraid of?

From noble mtl dot com

“I…”