13 – Sosa (13)

What are fireflies? If you’re talking about me, I think it’s a symbol that fits really well.

Since I don’t have any friends right now, I can say that I’m literally a firefly.

Oh, how sad.

But aside from not having friends, I like the symbol of fireflies. Unlike others who can only shine with sunlight, they can shine with their own power.

I think it is a greater existence than the moon.

I really liked the title Lillia gave me out of the blue.

“…Sorry, I was talking nonsense about my dreams. “

But Lilia didn’t like this title so much, so she dismissed it as nonsense.

She felt dizzy somewhere and put her hand on her forehead and crumpled her face. Her gaze, which she had been able to meet confidently until now, wavered here and there.

“Whoa…”

Then she let out a deep sigh. Was it such a shocking fact? How can you experience something like this in life?

It’s not bad to experience it once or twice as long as the person you thought you killed comes back alive. Do not be vigilant and do not live optimistically.

Lilia also had a very good experience.

It’s an experience she can’t afford anywhere else, but far from being happy, Lilia still looks very confused.

“Just a few… I’ll ask you.”

It’s like the morning after drinking a lot. I feel like my head hurts from this point of view.

It was completely different from before, when he was excited after reconciling with Innis.

“When you were holding me hostage and threatening me before, you aimed at Innis and asked sarcastically, ‘I heard your magic is amazing?’? …Have you seen Innis’ magic before?”

“That’s right.”

“…Where did you see me and Innis kissing?”

“In the forest that has now turned into a pit.”

“And again…”

Lilia asked several questions after that.

She didn’t feel like she was being interrogated like before. Rather than that, it was closer to the feeling of a teacher being asked a question by a student.

The intention of the question is not a procedure to catch and deny the single possibility that I am not. It seemed like a procedure for assurance.

It was admirable that she struggled to find the perfect answer without any cloudiness. I kindly answered all her questions without complaining.

After getting all the answers, Lillia let out another deep sigh. It was a breath that followed the definition of the word ‘sigh’. It was a deep, dark breath itself, dripping with worry, sadness, and regret.

“Haa…”

I wondered how she would treat me, so I kept her silence until she opened her mouth again on the other side of her. Even in the original work, Lilia had never been in a position to commit such a serious crime. At least that’s how much I’ve read.

Even if he commits it, it has nothing to do with life. Or, the crime committed by the other side is so great that self-defense can be established.

Lillia was still looking at her from place to place. Then, by chance, her eyes met hers, and she averted her gaze in an instant.

It was unexpected.

She thought that if she could justify herself, she would. The more you avoid sin and responsibility, the more useful it is, and there is nothing good to carry on, so most people are reluctant to face sin and responsibility.

So I rationalize myself. We attach a reason to every action and dismiss it as inevitable.

That’s the way to love yourself, and it’s a defense mechanism to live confidently.

But she’s not proud of me now.

She is completely different from when she peeked into the bath.

“…Could you introduce yourself one more time?”

The time has come to redefine this bizarre relationship. The moment has come when my secret identity will be revealed.

I answered her request with a smile on my face.

“Sure, I can.”

I jumped up from the stump, snatched Lillia’s wide-brimmed, pointed witch’s hat, and put it on my head. Then, I overlapped my eyes with Lilia’s, who had been avoiding mine. It means you forcibly closed your eyes. That prevented me from escaping.

In this way, a flower bloomed from the dry conversation.

“My name is Iba. I am a lowly, low-level, lowly person. I have no education, so I can’t make sense of my own self. I have no money, so I have to beg for a thousand. . And…”

That was my voice that was so excited. A flower is a flower, but it is not very pretty. It bloomed successfully, but the petals were like dried and twisted flowers. Unfortunately that was me. I melted her overflowing self-pity and her self-consciousness into each of her words, and then I passed them on to her.

“It’s a monster you and Ennis did their best to burn.”

After I finished talking, I returned the hat to Lilia in the form of putting it on.

Again, I was speechless for a while. Perhaps it was because I forcibly made eye contact earlier, Lilia was not avoiding my eyes.

But her lips were still lingering, revealing her dizziness. Her pale red lips repeated opening and closing periodically like a flower that blooms in the morning and withers in the evening.

“I’ll be honest.”

The flower finally bloomed. It didn’t bloom a bit ugly like me, but it bloomed pretty pretty.

“I don’t think my judgment was wrong then.”

“Ooh.”

“At that time, you obviously didn’t have reason, and you couldn’t control playback like you do now. If I left you unattended any longer, it would have damaged nearby houses.”

That was the right word. I didn’t really want to argue, so I just listened.

“So don’t expect reflection from me.”

Originally, I didn’t expect that. Fortunately, I seem to be destined to do very well for Lillia’s request. Introduce yourself well, don’t expect reflection. Hey, I’m pretty good too.

“Yes, there is no reflection… But!”

Lillia gradually lowered her head. The more humble he was, the closer he was to a flower, just like the previous metaphor, rather than a grain of rice. She confidently bathes in sunlight and flowers with her head down as night falls.

She lifted her head, which was gradually descending, and then strode towards me, declaring.

“I have regrets.”

Remorse at one step.

“Regret for not recognizing the monster’s identity sooner, regret for not finding a better way at that time.”

With one step, I regret it again.

“Even though I knew I was human, I regret trying to cover it up so that I could feel comfortable.”

With every single step, I regret again and again.

The fog-covered land seemed to continue to drag Lillia’s steps even though it wasn’t even a swamp. Of course, she herself turned this land into a swamp. She herself is drowning her feet in the swamp.

Like Lilia, I know the characteristics of a person who has strong self-respect and self-esteem, and also excels in her abilities. A person who can dismiss most problems as trivial and does not feel the need to try to solve them. People who have a little more sweet taste than others.

“I have such regrets.”

Lilia stood right in front of me. They were close enough that their warm breath could touch each other. As if he had made up his mind, he stood there without averting my eyes.

“So, I do have some regrets and guilt for trying to kill you. In other words, I want to atone for my crime of trying to kill you.”

From nob le mt l dot com

People like Lillia have one characteristic. The characteristic of all the things that bothered you is that you have to see the end to be relieved.

Those who ignore most things because they don’t need to worry about them, but when they do, they end up being either porridge or rice. Lilia belonged to that category to the end.

“Is it the sin of trying to kill you? I will give you the luster of life.”

Lillia arbitrarily decided on a reward I hadn’t even told her about and presented it to me. Actually, it didn’t matter. The reason I revealed my identity to her, excluding Innis, was also to receive and eat her reward like this.

“No matter what I do, I’m prepared to secure you human rights, compulsory education, jobs, and housing.”

Lillia thrusts her fingers into my eyes and she thrusts. I responded to that affirmation with a smile.

Only then, Lilia smiled a little. Her shy smile was so human that I fell in love with her.

I looked at her smile and said.

“I hate it.”

Yeah, give me something else.

“What…”

“Human rights will be granted by myself, compulsory education is not required. Jobs will be obtained by myself, and housing will also be built with my own sweat and blood. There is no need.”

“…I think it’s because you don’t know. Go out to society? Do you know how hard it is to get something like this?”

“Then~ I know it well. I know it very well. I haven’t learned anything, but I’ve seen it a lot.”

I know that Lillia’s words are not lies. She will do her best to make me live like a human being. But this is impossible. I don’t like getting rewards that I can’t offer.

There are few reasons why it is impossible. Because my body is not human. A life worthy of a human with a body that is not human is still severely disrupted. I didn’t think of other reasons because there was not enough space.

Thus, I don’t want to receive human rights from Lilia. Can’t receive At least for Lilia.

So, I tried to get another reward from Lilia.

“I’m going to get something a little harder to get.”

I wanted to get some sleep.

“Give me the right to challenge the sage’s trials.”

It was a sigh before, it was a smile earlier, and Lilia’s expression, which had been flustered until just before, hardened.

“…Are you serious?”

“Of course I mean it.”

Lillia put her hand on her chin and groaned for a few minutes. You seem to be very worried. That’s a good condition. She did not read [A Butterfly Lives in Her Eyes] In vain.

In this worldview, it is impossible not to know what the name of the wise man means, and what the trials presented by that existence mean. It must have been a very difficult request for Lilia.

Isn’t the life presented by the person who came back alive the same as saying that he’ll spend his whole life wasting away?

After thinking for a while, Lilia cautiously opened her mouth.

“Are you really going to do this? I’m not exaggerating. I’m really confident I’ll make your life happy. But this…”

“I’m not the type of person who prefers a life of being happy through others, and I really like this.”

“Won’t you regret it?”

“I don’t know about that, but can I return it later?”

“Are you really crazy?!”

Lilia glanced over at me as if she was fed up, then smiled.

“Okay, I’ll do that.”

Her appearance was like a butterfly finding a flower. It was the laughter of a predator who found food to live on. Her usual love for challenges gave her a new challenge goal.

Ironically, I seem to have enriched her life on my side.

“Please take good care of me.”

I held out her hand and asked her to shake her hand. It was obvious that even after leaving the foggy forest this time, we would see each other very often. It’s a relationship like that, but it’s a bit awkward, so I tried to promote her friendship and fellowship even in terms of form.

Lilia looked at my hand and pretended to hold out her hand.

“Sorry, I’m not good at skinship with men.”

“Crazy b*tch or really.”

It wasn’t a handshake, it was a sign of rejection.

If you get hit in the back of the head later in a fight, think I hit you, damn it. Hitting isn’t skinship, is it?

**

After that, we continued to talk moderately, and we walked towards the place where Innis was.

I headed as Lilia guided me, following her steps, matching her stride.

After taking so many steps overlapping her footprints, I finally learned a little more about Lilia.

Why is she weaker than usual? She found out about this.

I found out why Lillia’s magic circuit was burned.

‘Forcibly involved in someone else’s magic and burned slightly. It’s a common thing.’

He excused his wounds to me. It was said to be a common thing, but in fact, it’s not particularly true if she’s at her level. Because I’ve seen her twist and use her other people’s magic time and time again in her original work to play her pranks.

That’s why I knew. The magic that this girl with a smaller footprint than me would have been involved in now is magic that is bigger than I imagined.

The last big magic was probably the one that burned me.

The one who forcibly twisted the magic was Lilia.

She I knew that she did her best to save me in her own way.

In other words, it is thanks to that witch that I can live and walk like this now.

Lilia was so ashamed of this fact that even after she knew my true identity, she didn’t reveal it.

I moved away from her for a moment and saw her small, delicate hands swaying with each step.

I couldn’t reach it today, but I’m sure I’ll be able to reach it someday.

Just when I was thinking about that, Lilia called me.

“Iva.”

“Why?”

“Please take good care of me in the future.”

I wonder why that word was funny, I laughed for a long time until I saw Innis.

It must have been because it was a very kind word for a man-hater.

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