Chapter 38: Daddy Just Wants to Calm Down…

With its fresh air and pleasant views, Twin Pearl Peak of the Sun Moon Sect often had cranes flying high and hovering nearby, and every now and then, some fellow from the neighboring peak would yell, “Whose f*cking crane pooped!”

Returning from Black Tortoise City and sitting in the middle of his small grass hut, looking at the newspaper after newspaper brought back from Black Tortoise City, Jiang Lin was very melancholic.

NC[1] Breaking News Department:

[Breaking news! The monster maiden’s bright red cheeks are the work of Jiang flower-picking thief? Please read… that day, the things that Jiang Lin did in the mystic realm with the monkey monster maiden…]

Old Wave Headlines:

[One man battling hundreds of people alone? The Jiang flower thief actually defended Mysterious Sword Bridge alone, and used the forbidden sword technique, the Extreme Domination Sword, in front of many female cultivators!]

Wutong Province Black Tortoise City Penguin Watch Report:

[Why did the mystic realm collapse!? Who ended up with the so-called dragon spirit? Why did Fairy Lin leave the mystic realm with nothing? Jiang Ling, the flower thief, fought against the Non-Pearl Willow and the Totally Limitless Sects alone? Is Jiang flower picking thief’s lewdness too powerful, or are the two sects too weak? Now, Penguin Watch will bring everyone the cultivator interviews early tomorrow morning. See you tomorrow!]

Putting down the newspaper he brought back from Black Tortoise City in his hand, Jiang Lin pulled a long face. Why did things end up like this?

How could so many things go wrong when he had done nothing in the mystic realm?


And that monkey girl, he only remembered treating her to a banana… How could this even be a scandal?

As for Extreme Domination Sword and guarding Mysterious Sword Bridge alone… ‘What the hell, I never even went there, what the hell would I guard…

‘Wait! Could someone be pretending to be me?’

Standing up, Jiang Lin paced back and forth in the small grass hut.

“Forget it. Let’s see the interview with the mirror scroll first.”

Looking at the time, it was almost time, so Jiang Lin hurriedly took out the mirror scroll (taken from The Sword Comes) that was used to pad the corner of the table.

The mirror scroll was a tool similar to the one used to watch live broadcasts, and Jiang Lin remembered that he had carried a bag of rice to the second floor at that time, and the grandmother had given it to him.

Once a spirit stone was put into the mirror scroll, it would produce an image.

There were cultivators from the agricultural families who specialized in trying all sorts of strange herbs and meats live, as well as Mohist geek cultivators who taught others how to build puppets, and cultivators from the Yin Yang School who did online divination.

Of course, there were still more female cultivators from many mountain sects who were painting or writing calligraphy through the mirror scroll, and some of the more open ones would also dance with swords.

Anyway, the content played varied, and for different content, the rates were not always the same, most of them set by the broadcaster.

Some of these streams with technical aspect would be more expensive, costing five low-grade spirit stones to watch for half an hour; Jiang Lin once wanted to see if that Mohist fellow could create a Gundam or not, and ended up spending two medium-grade spirit stones (200 low-grade spirit stones) from the start to the end.

As for the beautiful cultivators’ livestreaming, the price would be a bit cheaper, but the income wouldn’t be any less. He recalled a founding ancestor generously rewarding a female cultivator who livestreamed landscape paintings with a high-grade spirit stone. That female cultivator’s hand was trembling at that time, and the tone when she expressed her gratitude for the reward was also much more coquettish.

That time, Jiang Lin remembered that he had also gifted a… low-grade spirit stone on a whim. As a result, he didn’t even get thanks, and seeing this, his master pouted angrily for most of the day… and wouldn’t even eat…

From then on, Jiang Lin no longer dared to look at beautiful girls’ live… He didn’t even look at the technical streams; after all, he had no money…

Thinking of his master, Jiang Lin looked gloomy again. He had thought that he would be able to spend more time with his master this time, and make more delicious food for her, but how come she went into secluded meditation?

‘Forget it. A breakthrough in tier is a good thing too.

‘But, if Master regains her divine sense after fully advancing into the Uncut Jade Tier…

‘If it’s restored, that’s a good thing, but will Master be less clingy and more distant than she is now…’

Jiang Lin thought about it, feeling as if there was some small loss; in reality, his master was quite good now—carefree, innocent, and lovely.

“Forget it. Don’t think about it so much. Better watch the interview.”

Returning from a somewhat sour mood, Jiang Lin spread out the mirror scroll, and cast two low-grade spirit stones into it with extreme reluctance. Injecting his spirit energy into his fingertips, Jiang Lin fired into the mirror scroll.

The spirit energy scattered and spread out like tadpoles towards the scroll.

After a while of fuzzy snow-like pixels as if there was no signal, the picture gradually cleared. A reporter from the Penguin Watch held a cucumber-like device, or what looked like a cucumber-shaped sound amplifier, and the interview seemed to have started for a while.

The cultivator reporter: “Senior Brother Ye, Senior Brother Zhao, I heard that the Totally Limitless Sect and the Non-Pearl Willow Sect were surrounded by the Jiang flower thief alone in the middle of the mystic realm, and he also seized the fragment of the Cosmos Matrix map. Is this true?”

Ye Liangchen: “Ridiculous! Is the Non-Pearl Willow Sect’s Bury Love Ghost Fire’s[2] reputation fake? It was Jiang Lin’s sneak attack! Yes! His sneak attack!”

The cultivator reporter: “Brother Zhao, what do you think?”

Zhao Hao: “Sigh… Unbelievable! Truly unbelievable! That Jiang Lin actually dressed up as a girl and mixed into the Totally Limitless Sect, seducing my junior sister, who eventually made a grave mistake…”

Suddenly, Zhao Hao grabbed the cucumber, and shouted at the camera, “Jiang Lin, the lecherous thief! I, Zhao Ri Tian, will never stand you! I ———!”

“Let me say a few words.” A hairy but pretty-looking (probably single for a long time) monkey demon girl grabbed the cucumber. “Jiang Lin, thank you for the banana you gave me. It was really delicious. I’ve never had such a delicious banana before. Remember to come find me at the Waterfall Gate.”

“Jiang Lin! Do you hear me?” In the middle of the screen was Chen Jia’s figure. “You have to be nice to the little dragon! If you dare to bully her, I’ll hammer your chest!”

“Jiang Lin, I will come find you! No matter how far, I will come to you!” said the girl with the muli in the middle of the scroll in a soft voice, and when she said that, Xiao Xueli thrust her sword directly at the camera. “Don’t think it’s over just because you’re gone!”

“Junior Brother Jiang… I… I…” said Lin Qingwan, her pretty face slightly red, her white teeth lightly biting her cherry lips, as if she was annoyed. The girl also drew her sword and pointed it at the camera. “Wait for me to enter the Uncut Jade Tier! I will come find you!”

“Jiang Lin! How dare you explode to eliminate me! I’m not done with you!”

“Jiang Lin! I want justice for my senior sister!”

“Jiang Lin, are you watching? I like you, come and pick me up~”

“Jiang Lin! How dare you tempt my junior sister! I’m not finished with you!”

“Jiang Lin, beauty is only for the strong! Fight me!”

“Brother Jiang, I am from the Brother Sect. Would you like to practice Purple Qi Comes From the East with me[3]?”

For a moment, the scene was in chaos, and Jiang Lin hurriedly put away the scroll and rubbed his head.


“Daddy… don’t be sad… Here are flowers…”

Wagging her fat little tail, the little dragon girl who had run back in climbed onto Jiang Lin’s knee and sat on his lap, her chubby little hand holding up a white-edged morning glory.

“It’s okay… Daddy just wants to calm down…”

‘Jing Jing[4]?’

The little dragon girl’s head tilted to the side, blinking repeatedly.

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‘Who’s Jing Jing?’

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