Episode 59 – Concerns as a Streamer

“Kon akarin~!!”

I, Misaki Akari, aka Yuyuko Mitani, began today’s stream process.
As usual, I greeted the start with a smile, and everyone in the comment section did the same.

That alone was enough to get me so emotional that all the bad things that had happened today blew away.

I am popular. I am not the same person I was at school.
When I stream, everyone is happy. If I do something and make a mistake, there is love in the comments.
There is no one here who doesn’t recognize me.

It felt so good to get excited and let my true self out there.

“Today, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while~ – I want to play a horror game!”

In the same mood I was in, I continued my stream.

I’m not good at being scared, and I would never do it if I were alone, but not now.
I can’t see their faces, but many listeners are watching me in the comments section.

“Well, let’s get right to it. Start!!!”

From the opening, the number of viewers had been increasing rapidly. It’s always fun to see the number increase visibly. That’s because that’s how many people want to see me.

Then I put on my headphones and proceeded to play, occasionally screaming at the realistic music and noise.

And every time I scream and “GAME OVER” appears on the screen, the comment section gets even more excited.
The listeners who send comments want me to be horrified.
I guess you could say they are amused.
I know that, and I can play horror games, which I don’t like, because they make me happy.

In this way, I managed to finish today’s horror game stream.
Finally, I moved on to the feedback corner and thanked the listeners who gave me feedback and spacha.

“Let’s read the superchat! First, Ushimaru-senpai. Thank you for the superchat!”

Misaki Akari is an active high school girl Vtuber, as she publicly announces. That’s why she calls all her listeners senpai.

When I call them senpai, I see a flicker of my senpai’s face from earlier today. But I’ve never called anyone a senpai at school before, so it’s weird.

Then I remembered the look on his face when I teased him today.
That time senpai was blatantly nervous.
He had a funny look on his face.

“Fufu”

Oh, no, no, no. I’m in the middle of a stream! I have to concentrate!

“Thank you, Atsurin-senpai!”

And so, as I read the comments of the listeners who sent in their spachas, I continued to thank them.

I saw a certain superchat. It was a red superchat- an expensive super chat that cost over 10,000 yen and stood out with quite a few characters.

“I think Akarin has changed somewhat recently. I think Akarin used to have a more lively and cheerful image, but I haven’t seen anything like that in her recent videos, which is disappointing. The number of deliveries has decreased, and maybe she is busy with school as a high school student, but since she has decided to be a Vtuber, I don’t think it’s right to be like that. Don’t tell me you haven’t been well lately because you were dumped by a guy? And the last time you collaborated with a male stremer…”

My heart squeezed.
It was a comment I did not want to put in my eyes.
It wasn’t a rant ……, but it wasn’t pleasant to look at. It seemed to be a polite comment, but it definitely stuck in my mind.
It was as if he was imposing his own ideal of “Misaki Akari” on me. That’s the kind of comment.

Such things have happened before.
I have often had people try to identify me because they know I am a high school girl, and I have often received heartless comments via DM on social networking sites.
They would tell me that I was a high school student and that I was having fun, or that I had a boyfriend, or other things that were not true. Even the current comment is immediately connected to that direction.

It would be best if I could just let them go, but those harsh comments are piercing to my weakened heart.

It is painful. I thought that if I stream, I could forget about the bad things. …… Why ……?

◇

“What’s with the character?”
“Are you trying to be cute?”
“You’re so funny, it’s really embarrassing.”

◇

“You know, it’s really annoying when you’re a plain.”
“That’s why you’re so dark.”
“You’re really on top of it.”

◇

“…………….”

I have flashbacks of each word, old and recent.

My head was wobbling. I found myself with tears in my eyes.
Even though I was in the middle of streaming the message, I got stuck in my comment and cried.
I hate myself again.

“I-I’m sorry everyone. That’s all for today! Byebye!”

I somehow managed to mend my situation and finished the delivery as it was.
I should be so sparkling, but I looked terrible on the darkened display after the stream.

I don’t …… know who I really am.

That has been my biggest problem of late.
I was in pain. I wanted someone to listen to my feelings.

But there was no one like that.
For a moment, the panicked face of a senpai student flashed through my mind. But it soon disappeared.

◆

“Hm~?”

After the test was over and I was released, I was watching a Vtuber’s stream again that I had seen the other day.
I wasn’t really planning to watch it, but it came up in my recommendations and was live streaming, so I figured I’d pass the time.

I was watching it because it came up in the recommendations and was live-streaming, so I thought I’d watch it in my spare time. I was watching the live streaming and thought it would be a good time to watch.
I had no idea what was wrong, but I knew she was crying.
The listeners had noticed, and the comment section was filled with warm comments encouraging her.

“Is this kind of thing common in a stream?”

I thought I would ask Sosuke another time.
I was not sure, but the sound of her trembling voice when she cried was still in my ears.

“Does it sound familiar …… somewhere? No, maybe it’s my imagination.”

I thought it was someone’s crying voice, but I have rarely seen a girl crying in the first place.
The only time I’ve ever seen a girl cry is Asagiri.

“…… come to think of it.”

Today, Mitani-san, whom I saved, was crying in the future that I saw in my future vision.
I don’t remember that clearly because it happened in a future that is now lost to me.

Recently, I have noticed that I often cannot clearly remember things in the future that I have changed.
I vaguely remember the contents, but that was all.

So, I remember the future that Mitani-san was crying, but I can’t remember how she cried and what kind of face she made.

“I should go to bed.”

I decided to go to bed, thinking that it was no use thinking about it. Still, for some reason, I felt that the crying voice of the girl who had stream the message earlier overlapped with Mitani san’s.

The next day.
I headed to school later than usual. If I go as I am, I’m sure to be late. But running in the morning is out of the question.

The other day, I exercised with Suika for the first time in a while, but my muscles were sore the next day.
So I decided not to exercise on a regular basis to prevent that from happening.
I decided not to do any more strenuous exercise.

So it was no wonder I was late.
What, the reason for being late? I overslept as usual.

And so, as I was making my way to school slowly and proudly, I saw the future again.

“Hey, you’re being persistent.”
“That’s fine. Let’s go have fun.”
“I told you I don’t want to. You’re in my way. Get out of my way.”

A female student with silver hair and wearing our school uniform was being tangled up with a male student from another school.

“Ah, you. What are you looking at?”

And while I was watching, I was hit by a pair of students from another school who had a bad temper.

“Oh, Arase!”

That made the silver-haired girl – Fujibayashi – notice me, too. She came toward me and crossed her arms.

“I’m going on a date with my boyfriend! If you understand, get the hell out of my way!”
“What the ……?”
“You’re getting on my nerves, ……!

And she was adding fuel to the fire.

＊＊＊

“….”

It is a future with a sense of dejavu.
Fujibayashi, you tend to get picked on.

Are you getting picked on only on the Tuesdays when I’m late?

I took a deep breath and ran out of the room.
I didn’t want to miss out on being picked up again so easily by someone I knew.

I had to meet Fujibayashi before she was picked up. That way, I could avoid it.

As I rounded the corner, I saw a girl with flashy silver hair and called out to her

“Fujibayashi!”
“Arase?”
“What? What, you?”

It was …… too late.