Hero’s Downfall Report

84 – Things you can only say when you look back (4)

All three people forgot what to say. I was at a loss as to what to do, and my heart became even more depressed.

From Noble mtl dot com

Even though Maria was sitting in her chair, it felt like she was sinking into the mud. Not wanting to sink into silence, she asked an uninteresting question.

“How can a person who is blind… “How do you get around?”

But Cain was calm. Piece by piece she pieced together what she knew. As she always did, she calmly organized her thoughts and then put forward her hypothesis.

“Maybe that’s why she drives shadows and creates monsters to take her around. Or, you can borrow the body of someone you want. “When I ‘borrow’, I can’t completely cover it with shadow.”

Like the unfortunate apprentice knight of the Otranto Monastery. Half of it was covered in shadow, and half of it was his own face.

“Then where did you get the power to turn people into monsters? The devil himself? Or not… “Somewhere else?”

Cain thought for a moment about Lily’s question.

At least she did not receive that power directly from the Demon King. I don’t even know where she is buried.

However, I know how he appears in front of people. In front of those who want revenge. I responded to the call of followers of a heretical religion that had recently spread.

“Maria. Do you know about the spell that turns people into monsters? “Heretical religions, twisted beliefs, those who teach revenge and punishment in this life… whatever.”

“Well… I’ll have to look into the records for that, but I don’t know much about roughly ‘inserting’ a shadow into a person’s body and ‘turning’ them into a monster in this way. But revenge… “

Maria seemed somewhat hesitant. Cain urged with silence. In the end, Maria made a groaning sound through her teeth.

“The slogan, ‘You will reap what you sow.’ Remember?”

It was an unforgettable slogan. Isn’t this the slogan the heretics shouted at Emmaus and Masada?

“Of course.”

“Ancient religious people… There is a similar teaching in the doctrine of the tree of life. But it’s not about revenge. Just… It just says that beans grow where beans are planted, and mustard grows where mustard seeds are planted. And it is taught similarly in all religions. “It is not a unique doctrine of the tree of life.”

Maria gave a simple explanation.

There is a similar teaching in the Two-Headed Eagle Church. Love your neighbor as yourself.

The same goes for Stone Buddhism. The one you ignore today will stab you in the back the next day. The one you watered today will save your life tomorrow.

These are all stories about cause and effect. It means that one small action will lead to bigger results tomorrow.

However, while the Tree of Life religion emphasizes the natural principles and laws of cause and effect, the Two-Headed Eagle and Stone Buddhism teach with greater emphasis on the maintenance of community and mutual benefit.

“The religion followed by those who live in nature and the religion believed by those who live among people are so different. But that’s about reason… It’s not a story about revenge. This… “This is a relatively modern concept.”

“Modern?”

“Just because a storm blows, the trees don’t take revenge on the wind. Just because the mountain is on fire, the earth does not take revenge on the lightning strike. But they warn that people who hold a grudge today will hurt others tomorrow. “Revenge is a more human concept than you might think.”

Mary stroked her side as if stroking it. She probably felt like she was trying to touch the leather strap of the seal.

“That’s why those who appeared recently are heretics. They emphasize only revenge and resentment to the exclusion of all other doctrines. Intense, primal… “Because it makes people blind.”

“And this sheathed knight appears to those who hold such a grudge. Those who hold a grudge against people. A group that holds a grudge against the empire…”

Cain nodded his head twice or three times.

“Then I understand that this unknown church, the Demon King, and the Knight of the Sheath are all connected. “They are all gathered under the same banner.”

“What… ?”

“Revenge filled with resentment. Until revenge is achieved, they will not fall or collapse. Even if you fall down, you get up again using resentment as nourishment. The shadows give them strength. So did Shazakh al-Dur. Arianne cut off her arm… “

It was still good in Cain’s eyes. The desire for revenge, the resentment and hatred that were strong enough to reawaken the dead, did not subside even after cutting off one of her arms. And in the end, her shadow gave her the curved sword again to stab her daughter’s back.

Silence continued again. Lily asked Cain and Maria in a trembling voice.

“Now, what should we do?”

Unlike Maria, who lowered her head, Cain answered right away.

“I have to eat dinner.”

Lily widened her eyes like a startled rabbit. Cain got up from her seat.

“We didn’t even eat dinner. I’ll see if there’s anything left to eat at this official residence. “Let’s eat first.”

Cain came out into the hallway. While she was waiting in the reception room, she asked the lodging manager to bring her some snacks.

After waiting for a while, the manager brought a leather water container, a basket containing bread, cheese, and sausage, and a cup. When I untied the spout of the water bottle tied with a string, the rich scent of grapes filled the air.

She silently chewed the slices of cheese and sausage on the bread she had cut with a bread knife, and took a sip of red wine. To be considered a meal, it was closer to a main course, and rather than being intoxicating, it was enough to moisten one’s throat.

After she finished eating, Cain roughly stuffed her belongings into a basket and put them out the door. But again she did not sit down. She asked, pointing outside as she opened the door wider.

“Shall we go to the rooftop?”

Lily and Maria also stood up.

The three-story building was not high. The view is obscured by tall buildings that are close to the large art museum nearby, and it is more frugal than the luxurious one-story houses perched on a low hill.

Still, I could breathe.

Instead of the stuffy ceiling, I looked up at the high night sky. Next to the city, there is a lake that sparkles with stars, like a bowl of the night sky.

‘They said it was a city full of bravado and vanity.’

But they aren’t all bad. Sometimes you have to say that it’s okay to not be okay like you are now. Even though I don’t have any energy, there are times when I have to pretend to feel energetic. Then, wouldn’t the mind be deceived by the lies of the body even though it knows it?

“Why did you come all the way to the rooftop?”

Because Mary guessed Cain’s intentions, she grumbled on purpose. Because if Cain disguised ‘her daily life’, she had to fit in with her too. Just as if you force your hands to clap, you have to eventually meet them to make a sound.

“The rain has stopped… The room was a bit stuffy. “What if I couldn’t eat dinner properly?”

“They said they would buy me something delicious.” Maria nudged Cain playfully.

Lily grinned and rummaged through her pockets. She handed the paper wrapped items to Cain and Mary, one by one.

“What is this?”

“I secretly picked it up from the Count of Edese’s house. “They say it’s called caramel, and I heard it’s made by melting sugar, stirring it, and hardening it, so I took some.”

It was hard before I put it in my mouth, but once I got into it, it felt sweet as it subtly melted on my tongue.

“hehehehe. “This won’t make you gain weight.”

But Mary let her arms hang limply and leaned her body against the railing, like a doll whose strings had fallen.

“I still can’t believe all of this. It seems like a very funny joke. I don’t even know what happened today. So, I’m not sure what to make of this.”

The night wind gently tore through Maria’s hair as if it thought the same thing. Maria responded by humming and shaking her head slightly.

“What I learned while serving as an Inquisitor was that humans are not much different from animals. I thought that the only difference between animals and people was whether they could say the word ‘God’ or not. “That’s why I think sometimes we can be worse than animals.”

“What do you mean?”

Mary lowered her head in response to Cain’s question. She landed on the roof with her heel.

“Because it is God’s will, we do things that even animals would not do. In reality, God never ordered a widow to be hung on a burning pyre. Instead, he asked them, “Who are you and why are you tying this woman up here?”

The same goes for the Crusaders. The two-headed eagle and the stone fire were killing each other while looking for God. But what’s left now? A money tree called Magdeburg grows in that blood field. Is this God’s will? “You want me to pick and eat golden apples in a land rich with blood and corpses?”

Cain looked up at the stars in the sky. A story someone told me a long time ago in the East suddenly came to mind. The night sky she saw back then was different.

“This is a story I saw when I was in the Eastern Allied Powers. There was an old man who committed a great sin and lived a wandering life. In the East, ‘big sin’ means embezzlement. Money is the lifeline there, so stealing money is the same as taking someone’s life.”

Lily slowly approached Cain. This was almost her first time talking about the Eastern Allies, even in passing, and she wanted to listen better.

“But one day, the old man suddenly crossed the border and returned. I was like a penniless beggar. And as soon as he arrived, his heart stopped and he died. What is even more incomprehensible is that the Allied people split into two sides and fought.

People of similar age to the old man argued, ‘But since he came back, we should bury him in the ground.’ Young people countered that he should be burned or thrown into the sea.”

Maria also knew that in the Allied Powers, where most of the islands were islands, burying the dead was considered the highest courtesy. Or maybe he is a person with enough money and power to buy land to lay his body down when he dies. Of course, most of them will be cremated and placed in urns in the charnel house.

“I heard you ran away with the money. And yet?”

“The old man was originally a galley slave.”

“What?”

“He started out as a galley slave and rose to become the owner of a large shipping company that operates ten sailing ships. He was lucky and had good timing. But what made him even more famous was his actions that were close to charity.

Like himself, he paid smart slaves and hired them as employees. He was a slave, no different from a free man. He taught them letters and numbers, and gave them places according to their abilities. If he saved up a little bit of wages, at least after five years he would be able to buy himself freeman status.

He was often criticized as being ignorant, spoiled, and rude, but he still had great sense and luck. And he knew how to share that good fortune with others.

Then something big happened. All ten sailing ships sank. Storm. Pirate. Reef wreck. Missing… And at the same time. “As far as I know, such misfortune has never happened all at once in the Eastern Allies.”

“… So you ran away? “With money?”

“He ran away with not only the money, but also all the company’s bills and ledgers. No one could hold former slave employees accountable.

The older people said that they could not hate him because they had watched his rise and fall right next to him for a very long time. Running away irresponsibly was definitely wrong and not right, but there were quite a few people who tried hard and were rejected by him.

Because he was a lighthouse for the poor, the hungry, and the thirsty for success.

But in the eyes of young people, he was just an old man who ran away because he didn’t want to fail. He saw only the mesh and the iron.

The doge thought that both sides were plausible and came to a conclusion.

On a very windy day, it was decided to load the body into a small boat with one sail and send it out to sea. In the harbor that was once filled with his sailing ships.

Anyway, it wasn’t buried in the ground, so the young people complained, but they didn’t get very angry. The old people insisted that they should be treated better than this, given that the body was intact. And anyway, I didn’t say anything more because I thought it was a funeral fitting for those glorious times.

Doje did not satisfy both sides, but he did not give an answer that neither side liked.”

Cain stamped his foot slightly. As if I wanted to be sure that the ground I was stepping on was safe.

“They say that you can only see some things clearly when you look back. You can only understand it after it has passed, after you are far away, after you have sacrificed time and gained wisdom enough to understand it. I think this will be the same now. I’m confused now… “There will definitely come a day when you will understand.”

“Is it more positive than you think?”

Maria smiled and looked up at the sky. Lily came next to Cain and leaned against her. She looked beyond the horizon. Wide hills and small mountains, a lake of stars and a city brightly lit with lanterns.

“When all this is over… What will we see?”

“Face.”

Lily looked at Cain with a questioning look. Cain clenched her fists.

“Face. At least I can clearly see his face. Other things… Well.”

Cain opened her hands. She was tired of thinking any more. It may have been the intoxication of the wine she drank just enough to quench her thirst.

“I think the professor in the Department of Literature, whom I’ll meet tomorrow, might be able to give me at least a hint.”