Since then, I have carried my feet to the church regularly.
I'm not asking for advice, I'm not asking for comfort, I'm just asking you to listen to me.
And then...
It was worthwhile to keep listening to me, and I was mentally stable enough to be able to perform my role normally.
And I said, "What does a stallion have to do with the church? No way! You're here to feed the nuns!? There was a voice, but I couldn't care less about that.
That's why I was sitting in my familiar confession room today.
And when I put the coin in the box, I talked to the nun (Sister) who would be across the wall today.
"I came to thank you today."
"Is that a thank you?
Oh, thank you.
I went on.
"Thanks to you, I think I can calm my mind to the point where I can do my job normally."
"Have you been able to fold your feelings a little bit?
"Oh, thank you."
"That's really good. Congratulations."
"Coming here really saved my heart. Thank you. Thank you very much."
"I'm not doing anything, but I'd be really happy if I could help."
So...
"Yes"
I wasn't sure if I should cut it out.
But you have to say it.
I can't move forward unless I say so.
"I came to say goodbye to the nun today."
"Well...."
"I'll be here for the last time today."
…………
The Sister is silent because she can't find the words to call me.
"I want the nuns (Sisters) to be the salvation of the people who are really worried about me as I have always been. I just want to make room for them."
"You must have been hard on yourself... so gentle..."
"That's not true. I wonder if he pities his fellow patients."
I'll keep going.
"Well, it's not really the last time, but if you have any trouble again, I think you'll let me carry your feet. Say hello again."
"Unfortunately, it's a good thing for you, so I have to be happy. Hopefully, I will pray with all my strength so that you don't have to carry your feet here again."
A nun (Sister) blesses me with contradictory feelings.
"Thank you. I'm not thanking you for that."
"Yes"
"It's trivial, but in addition to the coins I just put in the box, I personally donated them to the church, so I want them to be used meaningfully. Well, it's a church with a nice nun like you. I'm not worried about anything around here."
"Oh, I've never seen you face to face, is that nice? I might be a horrible ugly woman.
"That's not true. I don't know what it looks like, but my heart is a beautiful woman. Definitely."
"Well...."
Thus, my church visit, which had lasted a long time, stopped.
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