Heart of Darkness

Rayven sat in the carriage with daggers with a dagger in each of his boots, prepared for whatever danger they might face on their way or when they arrived at Angelica's home. Hopefully, it was only stupid humans but he doubted that anyone would touch Angelica's home now that she was married to him. 

But what could the shades be doing in her home? They must know that she wouldn't be there or did this have to do with William? 

There was only one way to find out. If her home had been searched then they were looking for the prophetess. They must have found some clue since the killings stopped. Or perhaps they just realized that their strategy wasn't working anymore. 

If anything happened now and he had to fight shades, then Angelica would find out what he was. A part of him almost thought that would be the best way to find out. Just see it all. See him and the shades and know that he wanted to protect her from them. She would know that she would be in danger if she left him. But that was unlikely to happen since the shades wouldn't attack him in bright daylight. 

Another part of him, the one that cared didn't want to scare her. It would be too much to see all of that at once. It would be easier for him but harder for her. She had already dealt with a lot and he was fascinated by her strength. Any other woman in her place wouldn't have taken everything that had just happened in a few days so well. But even she had a limit and maybe knowing what he was would be the limit and she wouldn't be able to take it anymore. He was afraid that she would want to leave him and he would have to force her to stay for her own safety. That would only make her fear him more. 

"My Lord? Are you alright?" She asked him. 

She could see that he was tense and he tried to relax. "I am alright." He assured her.

At least before she became scared he wanted to cherish these moments with her because he might never have this chance again. He wanted to let her take care of him and he wanted to give her everything. Her house, her things, and everything else she asked for. He wanted to make her happy even if it was only for a while and he wanted to let her know how he felt about her. He wanted to be her husband. 

Sadness overtook the happiness he felt from seeing her face this morning. He became afraid when he realized just how much he wanted to be with her, his wife, and hopefully his mate in the future. He was afraid that she would not like him anymore but also afraid of not being able to let go of death now that he had his heart back. What if one day he just didn't exist anymore? 

How ironic. Life had been haunting him and now death was taunting him. 

He met Angelica's gaze who kept staring at him. "You look better when you smile," she told him. 

"You are the reason I smile." 

She smiled shyly. "I didn't know you could be good with words."

"I didn't know either. You have awakened the poet in me." 

"I would love to hear your poems one day." She said. 

"I shall write for you many, and read them for you as well."

"I would like that." She smiled. 

The carriage stopped and Simu came to open the door for them. Rayven helped Angelica down and then she looked ahead at her home. She stared at it for a while before heading toward the front door. He could hear her heart beat faster as he followed her inside. 

"No one is here?" She said surprised. 

"And no one will come here." He assured her. 

Angelica looked around her home carefully as if afraid to find something she didn't like. Rayven kept listening to how her heartbeat and her facial expression changed as she picked different things from her home to take with her. 

"This was my room," she explained when they arrived at a room furnished and decorated in all white, cream, and bright. 

White was her color, together with blue and red. White for her pure soul, blue for her sensitivity and faith, and red for her fighting spirit. 

Angelica emptied the chest in her room and then put the things she had collected in the empty chest. She took a few other things from her room and began to pack. He could see her glossy eyes. She was fighting back tears. Did she miss being here? 

"Can I take all of this?" she asked. 

"You can take as much as you like." He told her. 

She added a few more things then closed the chest. 

"This will be too heavy," she said testing its weight but she could barely pick it up. 

Rayven went and picked it up with ease. "Are you ready to leave?" He asked. 

She nodded. 

Once they were outside, Rayven gave the chest to Simu who almost fell on his knees because it was too heavy for him to carry. Ignoring him, he helped Angelica get into the carriage before getting in himself. 

It took Simu quite a while to get the chest into the carriage but Rayven enjoyed seeing him struggle. Now he would find the rest of them and torture them. 

Angelica was quiet on the ride back home. She stared outside the window and seemed absent. Rayven didn't know what was going through her mind but he decided to not bother her. 

When they were back home, Rayven left Angelica to unpack in her room and went to find Simu. 

As usual, Simu was unhappy and scared to see him. Rayven knew this alone was torture for him. But he was only the one to take orders. He needed to torture the one giving orders. 

"My Lord..." He tightened his hold around the hammer in his hand. He had been building a fence. 

"Who are the ones who paid you for Angelica? I want their names." He said. 

Simu's eyes widened and his heart almost burst in fear, while Rayven's almost exploded in fury. "No one, My Lord." 

No one? 

"What do you mean?" He asked with a frown. 

Rayven heard the answer in his mind before he replied. 

"She escaped. The man who paid took back his payment." Simu stuttered. 

Rayven's clenched hands unclenched and he was shocked. "She escaped before or after he… ?" He couldn't bring himself to even think about it. 

How far did things go before she escaped? Rayven felt a pain in his chest. 

"I am not sure, My Lord. But she escaped shortly after she was brought to him. I don't think anything could have happened." 

Shortly after? From Simu's thoughts, he didn't reach far before the man who bought her called for help and he was still fully dressed. Simu thought she was still pure. He was almost sure. Then why didn't Angelica tell him? 

"Who is he? Where can I find him?" 

Before Simu could reply, Rayven got his answer from his mind and rushed away. What should he bring? His daggers, should he just turn into a demon and torture him or should he keep his identity hidden? What would be the best torture? 

"My Lord," suddenly Angelica appeared in front of him in the hall. Rayven hid his hands in his pockets, just in case. "Where are you going?" she asked. 

"I am going to find those who wronged you and punish them." He was too angry to come up with a lie.

"Why… suddenly?" She seemed confused then frowned. Don't!" she said. 

"Why? They hurt you." 

She looked worried. "Hurting them will not make me hurt any less, or you." 

"It will. I will feel much better after I punish them." He said feeling his blood boil. 

She shook her head. "No, you won't. You will only feel good for a moment." 

"Don't tell me to do nothing." He pleaded. 

"I will not. Just don't do anything while you are angry and if you decide to do something, do something good. Like you did with Simu."

How did he do good with Simu? He was confused. Good was not supposed to be it. 

"Are you not angry?" He wondered. 

She sighed. "I was. I am still sometimes and I tried to punish Simu but it is tiring. I feel better when I focus on things that heal me rather than what reminds me of my pain." 

No. He couldn't understand this. For him, punishment was the only relief from pain. He knew nothing else. 

"I don't like that look in your eyes." She said looking into his eyes with a hint of fear and worry. "They are getting dark again." 

"I can't help it. This is who I am." He said feeling the anger, hatred, and rage in him come back. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been so busy with his plans, he could have spared her this pain. He had to punish all of them including himself.. Mostly himself.