Defying Natural Order With DeoxyriboNucleic Acid

-What? With that na- I mean, you're sure?

As expected, the fastest to react was Silent. As discreet as his name may be, he as a person is pretty loud.

He's certainly the most exuberant person in the group, and as such, without a doubt, the prime offender of saying whatever goes through his mind way too easily.

My disciple RedFairy is here yet he almost did it again. At least, the side glance he threw towards him might prove he understands how grave his screw-up could have been.

Maybe I'm getting paid as his teacher, but I don't trust RedFairy to not spill the beans if he ever learns that the name of the guild is shameful.

-Do you think something happened to him?

Dartagnan... I hear you.

-I don't know, maybe he hit his head?

Et tu, Pinky? Aren't we basically more than friends, less than lovers at this point? Why are you doubting my mental health?

-It might be worth checking if he's drunk.

Soul! You finally speak and it's to stab me in the back?

Seeing Pinky ready to have me count her fingers, I quickly cut the wave of comments:

-Enough joking around.

-I was no-

-I know Soul, I know...

I know that contrarily to the others, there was not a bit of second degree in what you said, and that's why I want to hear nothing further.

-Anyway, I decided to recruit someone by the third Guild War. We're lacking in a few ways for such large-scale battles, and we need to strengthen if we want to defend our title. We have about a month to recruit a member and integrate them into the group, so I intend to use this dungeon as an announcement.

Indeed, with the habits of our guild, it kind of became a tradition for players to look forward to our records. Our performance is almost reported on by various influencers, from social media to media sharing websites, there is no greater publicity stunt than to announce that the most closed guild in the game is recruiting through our most followed channel of information.

Using the global chat would definitely make reaching most players difficult, as it'd have to spread through word of mouth, and we never set up any kind of social media to use as our public face.

So not only is it our only method of communication, it actually is the best we could have had anyway.

-It's a democracy, so let's make sure. Everyone is fine with it?

I wait a bit, and once everyone confirmed, I let this part of the conversation end here.

Just as I was about to get to the matter of the dungeon, Silent asks me:

-Tell me, you were going to do it anyway, right?

-Just like a true democracy.

For once, you're the one who'll have to feel stifled! I placed this hook especially for you, I'll let you know!

Oh, and I seem to have gained a few points in Scheme with that. It was definitely worth it.

Anyway...

-So, everyone knows this dungeon by now. We didn't train as much as for some others, only two sessions actually, but I think we can do it.

-It's more that we could beat the record without training already, but yeah.

Silent comments.

-With our eyes closed.

Dartagnan adds.

-Without using our legs.

-Anyway, our goal isn't just beating, it's crushing. If we wanted to beat the record, just having Pinky and Soul would be enough.

-What a way to undermine your teammates...

You were looking for it, Dartagnan!

Anyway...

Just a random thought, but why do I feel that sometimes people could know who I am just by my extensive array of uses for the word "anyway" and my jumpy thoughts?

-I won't do a speech today, because someone, yes, I'm looking at you, had me understand that it was too efficient at relaxing the atmosphere.

-Pfft!

Yes, Pinky, you laugh at my shitty jokes, I'll be your fan forever!

No matter how weirdly Soul looks at me, I'll definitely ȧssume this piece of self-deprecating humor!

-Let's go!

-Yeah!

Silent.

-Yes!

Pinky.

-Yeah!

Soul.

-Here we go!

Darta.

-Umu!

Darta, Red, are you both trying to give yourselves some kind of style? Don't jump on people's heads, Darta! You're a Dark swordsman, not a samurai, Red!

At least I guess I can be glad my student is used enough to our weird discussions to not notice we have something to hide about the guild.

[...]

Usually, when a dungeon run starts, I'm more likely than not to pick Pinky up, but this time I don't see the need to.

The fact is that Silent wasn't just trash-talking, even without the specific strategies we developed, we could probably go straight through the dungeon with brute force and still beat it.

This is why the gain of speed our team as a whole would gain from me carrying Pinky is not worth the trouble.

Keeping a slower pace than our best also means that we are leaving ourselves quite a margin of improvement should we have to retake the record later on.

After all, we don't just take records, we crush them. And doing so requires quite a big margin.

Anyway, the first encounter of the dungeon is a bunch of canyon-themed skeletons. The goal is probably to give first-time players a sense of familiarity.

For such mobs, we don't need to fight them, as we'll naturally lose them just by running.

Which is why we run straight through them.

I also use slip on a skeleton. It is the only one that had the time to attack Pinky, the last member of our group, and the slowest in terms of speed.

Just like that, starts the dungeon run that will announce our victory.. The single most important one in the history of our guild, you could say.