Daily life of an American TV drama agent

With an absolute force like Ron as a deterrent, the head of the US branch of Kingsman suddenly turned into a middle-aged uncle who was easy to talk to, especially when they were opening their own safe, according to two British gentlemen. After being verified, Ron was even warmly entertained.

"Hello, I'm Champagne, but everyone who knows me calls me Champion." The middle-aged uncle extended his hand to Ron kindly.

Ron grinned and held the middle-aged man's hand: "Hello, my name is Ron, but everyone who knows me calls me a vampire. By the way, does your winery pay taxes properly?"

"What?" The middle-aged uncle looked confused.

"Did I say that your winery has paid enough taxes?" Ron repeated the words loudly: "Really, if your ears don't work, find a doctor to treat them, or find someone with good ears. , I don’t know which genius’ idea it was to use disabled people to do reception work.”

The person in charge of Ace Agent, who had trouble hearing, was automatically classified as a disabled person by Ron. He almost couldn't breathe and collapsed. Fortunately, he was relatively strong because he often rode horses, and he was able to withstand Ron's mental damage.

"Just like your clothing business in the UK, if you don't do something about taxation, where do you think we will get the money to build such a good base?" The middle-aged uncle winked at Ron humorously: "We have already We have been operating independently for a long time, but this is the first time we have received rescue from the headquarters. Why don’t we talk about the purpose of your trip and why are you here?”

As everyone knows, what he just said played into Ron's hands, and Ron suddenly laughed happily: "Really? You haven't paid your taxes properly?"

"This has nothing to do with our topic today," the middle-aged uncle frowned. He felt something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what was wrong:

"I'm sorry for having you wronged just now. As your American cousin, all the resources of the United Distillery are at your disposal. Now tell me, what help do you need from me?"

"Why don't you pay the tax first?" Ron put on his business-like fake smile again: "It's best if you can show me your account books again. Believe me, no matter it is legal or illegal income, as long as the tax is paid , the Federal Tax Office will be your strongest support.

By the way, my name is Ron Lee Cooper, and I am a senior agent affiliated with the IRS. The two guys who came with me, Galahad and Merlin, are your companions, but thank you anyway. To be honest, if it weren't for you, I don't know how long it would take for me to find evidence of your tax evasion. Thank you. "

The middle-aged uncle's expression suddenly became as uncomfortable as swallowing 10,000 flies. Not only did he treat an outsider as one of his own, he also casually informed his company of tax evasion. What kind of behavior is this?

Recently, Gin has been complaining to himself that there are undercovers within the organization, and he is the biggest undercover?

"Ahem... Put the tax issue aside for now. I will arrange for someone to deal with you later." Uncle Champagne glared at the housekeeper who brought Ron with him. Her eyes seemed to be blaming him for why he didn't do it beforehand. Make your identity clear.

However, the housekeeper was also very unjust, because Ron never said a word from the beginning to the end that he and the two British gentlemen were not together. Although it seemed that his temperament did not match, the housekeeper thought that he was just a little different, just like being raped. Like the winery agent who was knocked unconscious, he always seemed out of place compared to the others.

If the other winery agents looked like capable western cowboys, the guy who had just been knocked down by Ron looked like a male striptease in an adult show, the kind that would win the championship.

"Dong dong dong~" There was a knock on the door, and the housekeeper opened the door. The real ace agent Eggsy walked in and politely drank champagne and bowed to thank you: "Thank you for saving Agent Galahad..."

"Wait a minute, you said his name was Galahad before." Xiang Bin turned his questioning eyes to Ron.

"No, he is talking about the amnesiac Butterfly Man. This boy is his apprentice. The two of them share a code name."

Ron explained for Eggsy that the reason he came up first just now was because Eggsy and Merlin went to visit him. Agent Galahad who was sent down by the American branch was the one who had met Ron before. That guy.

Speaking of which, this guy is really lucky. After he jumped into the river to avoid being chased, he was rescued by people from the American branch. It's just that his head may have hit a stone on the river bed when he jumped into the river, and he lost his life. All the memories he had before, now he only regarded himself as an entomologist studying butterflies.

"You go on."

Eggsy straightened his tie and continued seriously: "Galahad said in the past that if you investigate the cause of the matter, you must focus on the overall situation. If someone wants to eliminate the Kingsman, then they must be planning a bigger conspiracy. "

Ron curled his lips secretly, "Does it still take so much trouble to deal with you guys?" One Winter Soldier wiped out all of you. Of course, considering that he was on someone else's territory, he didn't say much.

"Then what did you find?" Uncle Champagne asked.

"We believe that the other party should be a drug monopoly. During the investigation, the term golden circle appeared many times."

"We will investigate. Is there anything else?" Uncle Champagne glanced at Ron secretly and replied perfunctorily. He was currently muttering in his mind about how he should face the scrutiny of the US Taxation Bureau.

"Of course, we have a trainee who was not selected and is now one of theirs. His name is Charlie. He is very shameless."

Eggsy secretly glanced at Ron's face and replied that this was information he had not told Ron, and it was a small thought on his part. However, Ron's face had no expression, and he finally felt relieved.

Ron's expression remained normal: "This is a good entry point. Do you have any clues about him?"

"I know he has an ex-girlfriend and tracked her down through Twitter, I think he's still in touch with Cha Nian and he's planning to go to Glastonbury Festival."

Eggsy took out his phone, and on the screen was Charlie's girlfriend's Twitter feed.

"Agent Tequila, take out your dancing shoes, you have a new mission." Uncle Champagne ordered, and then Ron realized that the codename of the agent he had just knocked out turned out to be Tequila.

Probably because he was beaten to the ground by Ron just now, he didn't say a word to Ron during the whole process of leading Ron.

"Yes, sir." Tequila drank all the whiskey in the glass and was about to get up when she was suddenly stopped by Ron.

"Wait a minute, what's that on your neck and face?"

Tequila picked up the cup and saw through the reflection on the surface of the cup that there were winding blue stripes on her face and neck along the blood vessels, like little snakes crawling on them. Same on body.

"No, it's nothing. There's nothing wrong except being a little tired."

"Is that a blue rash? I think you need to take a good rest, dry ginger water, and take him to the infirmary for a checkup." Uncle Champagne had just finished speaking when Ron immediately interrupted.

"Wait a minute, Tequila, right?" Ron stood up and walked to him to observe carefully: "Have you done anything special recently? For example, you have encountered something similar to big drugs?"

"I..." Tequila's expression became strange.

"Don't be nervous, I'm just asking casually, because I happened to have seen similar symptoms to you in other places," Ron waved his hand: "Those people who are like you, without exception, have been exposed to people from ' The Golden Circle' is a mysterious organization's drug, but because there are currently too few samples, it is not yet known what the specific use of this disease is.

But I think that the conspiracy of this organization can be roughly guessed. I think they must be an anti-drug organization, planning to poison the drugs, and then let people all over the world detoxify.

Well, although they are an unorthodox terrorist organization, Mo Ming thinks they have some positive energy~ I started to appreciate them. "

Uncle Champagne's casual expression turned serious again: "Ron, can you go take a look with our agents? I think we need to pay more attention to this matter."

"It's enough for Galahad and your agents to go with you for this small errand. I have to go back to Los Angeles first, where there are more important things to do."

"Does Los Angeles also have important information about the Golden Circle? Do you need me to send you someone to help?" Uncle Champagne asked solemnly.

"No, thank you, unless you can send me a top game master. Yesterday Blizzard just released the second expansion pack of World of Warcraft, Wrath of the Lich King. I want to go back and play games with my friends. I heard There is also a new profession called the Death Knight..."

At the same time, just as the agents at the winery were in disbelief at Ron's addiction, the same symptoms as the Tequila agents began to spread to almost all drug users.

On the third day after Eggsy and the others set out, something even more serious than Tequila appeared. Suddenly, large-scale medical resource shortages began to occur in most places around the world, but the government was unable to do anything about it. , until a videotape was hacked into the TV station and played on all channels.

"Hello everyone, my name is Bobby Adams, and now I want to talk to you in front of the TV about the largest hostage-taking incident in human history."

On the TV, a woman in a yellow dress talked to the camera: "A few weeks ago, a specially designed virus was released all over the world through my various products, including marijuana, cocaine, heroin, opium, ecstasy, and methamphetamine." .

Some of you have already been infected with the virus, and next, you will experience the following symptoms. "

The woman reached back, revealing four glass windows with curtains: "After a short incubation period, the patient will have the first symptom: a blue rash."

The curtains opened, revealing a man with the same rash as the original Tequila agent.

“Then, the second stage begins, which I call madness, when the virus has invaded the brain and causes great suffering for the patient and those around them.”

The second window opened, and the person inside looked like a lunatic except for the rash, moving his hands and feet around as if dancing.

"The third stage is paralysis. The muscles of the whole body enter a high-level epileptic state. Once the muscles of the throat are also infected, the patient will become unable to breathe and die in a very tragic state within twelve hours."

While he was talking, the third window opened, and a large amount of blood flowed from the man's eyes and nose at the same time. Although the man was still standing, everyone knew that he would not live long.

At this time, the camera was pulled back, showing a big close-up of the woman's proud smile: "But, I have good news to tell you, that is, all of this is actually avoidable, and I have an antidote here."

The woman took out a bottle of yellow reagent and showed it to the camera, while the fourth window behind her had been opened. The staff poured the antidote into the mouth of the old man who was standing frozen in the window. After a violent shaking, the old man resumed action. !

Even the blue rash on his face began to disappear little by little.

"Look, my antidote can cure diseases. As long as I give an order, they can be shipped to all over the world immediately, as long as they meet my following two conditions:

First, stop all crackdowns on drugs, legalize all illegal drugs, create a new market, and standardize all drugs. Yes, not only regulate, but also tax, just like the alcohol industry.

Second, give me and my men complete immunity. As long as you agree to my conditions, I will definitely help your country become more prosperous and stimulate our increasingly depressed economy.

Moreover, because of the legalization of drugs, law enforcement costs can also be greatly reduced..."

There was no emotion or anger on Francis' face. He turned off the TV with a snap and sat on his office chair: "This is the main reason why I called you here. Ron, what do you think?"

Opposite him, Ron, who was rushed out of his home, scratched his head helplessly: "After collecting taxes for such a long time, all the capitalists I met tried their best to avoid taxes. I still want to pay taxes proactively like this. First time meeting you, Mr. President."

Ron shook his head and said regretfully: "But it's a pity that she is a drug dealer. I guess her proposal will be opposed by the House of Representatives and the Senate. You know, they are the territory of the Republican Party. In the eyes of those conservatives, Here, they wish all the drug addicts in the world would die together.

In this way, the world can return to the time when everyone held hands and sang gospel songs together, and everyone was happy. "

"Of course I know that the House and Senate will not pass her proposal. The question is, what do you think?" Francis stared at Ron, and a huge momentum belonging to the president pressed against him.

But Ron spread his hands as if Si Hao didn't feel anything. "You know me. I'm a Texan and a born member of the Republican Party."

"Then what?" Francis' expression remained unchanged and he nodded to indicate for him to continue, because based on his understanding of Ron, he knew that there must be more to say later.

Sure enough, Ron spread his hands and continued: "At the same time, I am an agent with a flexible moral bottom line, Mr. President."