Always By Your Side

Chapter 4: Reunited at the First Acquaintance

Gao Ling and Mr. Fu had made an appointment in the morning to meet in Gaoling1 Village, but because Boss Gao wanted to see a local kiln house owner, he requested Yuanyuan’s opinion and the two drove to the village earlier than the appointed time. Yuanyuan believed that she would be a hindrance if people were discussing business, so she told him she would walk around first.

After parting from Gao Ling, Yuanyuan went up from Shuikou Pavilion, all the way along the ancient road. On either side of her were ancient trees stretching high up to the sky, the branches and leaves dense and concentrated, obstructing most of the sunlight so that in this hot weather she could actually feel a faint coolness.

Not long after, Yuanyuan discovered that there was an interesting and appealing pavilion sitting up ahead, and also a large stone monument.

She quickly ran up, lifting her eyes to read the name of the pavilion – Jie Fu Ting, the Husband Pavilion. It turned out that this was where the ancient kiln workers’ wives waited for their husbands to return from excavating porcelain clay.  

Yuanyuan was lost in thought when someone suddenly came out from behind the stone, startling her so much that she jumped. It wasn’t that the person who had suddenly appeared was unsightly. On the contrary, he was very good looking – his stature was tall, and he wore casual, light grey summer attire without any superfluous adornments. Standing alone, he called to mind some words: “Desolate and solemn, straightforward and upright.”2 His age was somewhat mysterious. He didn’t seem to be more than a few years older than her, but his steady and graceful manner seemed to have the precipitation of time, which made people unable to guess.

Yuanyuan couldn’t help but look at him stupidly for a while, and inexplicably gave birth to the feeling of déjà vu. She nearly blurted out “Have I met you before?”, but fortunately she was able to resist as it sounded like an especially clumsy pickup line.

“I’m sorry, little sister, did I scare you?” the man asked. His voice was low and mild, with a hint of hoarseness when she listened carefully. As he spoke, he gazed at Yuanyuan, and the corners of his mouth seemed to smile. This kind of gaze was like staring, but it felt wonderful and it wasn’t disrespectful.

But “little sister”? Cheng Yuanyuan bowed her head to look at herself: White shirt, cropped denim overalls, two plaits because she was wearing a summer hat, and a backpack…Eh, the whole result was indeed very immature.

At this time, Gao Ling called her phone, and Yuanyuan quickly picked up. Boss Gao said that he was already finished with the matters he had been busy with, so he was coming over to meet her. While talking with Gao Ling, Yuanyuan found that the man in front of her was still looking at her. After, he called her name: “Cheng Yuanyuan?”

“En,” Yuanyuan responded stupidly.

The man showed a faint smile and said, “Hello, I’m Fu Beichen. Gao Ling mentioned you to me.”

Fu Beichen?

Yuanyuan looked at the man in front of her and sighed: As expected, he was someone she had met before. If she remembered correctly, he was the grandson of Cheng Bai’s grandfather’s aunt3. According to seniority, he and Cheng Shenghua were of the same generation, yet he was only five years older than Cheng Bai. However, because the Cheng and Fu families’ relations were quite distant, the two families had stopped visiting one another. It was only when she had just arrived in the city to study junior high, not long after she had moved into Uncle Shenghua’s house, that Fu Beichen had come to the Cheng family to return a pile of their great-grandfather’s medical records from before. She did not want to intrude back then, so she had just silently peeked from upstairs until he left. Because he had given her an indescribable feeling of closeness, and because she had the ability to remember people better than the average person, it had left an impression on her even though she had been young and watching from a distance.

At the end of the day, it turned out that the “Mr. Fu” from Boss Gao’s mouth was “Uncle Fu”. It really complied with the phrase “life is full of coincidences”.

Yuanyuan thought to herself, Do you want to climb up these friendly relations? But very quickly she shook her head in her heart. He didn’t know her, and the relationship between him and her was so distant that it couldn’t get further away.

Yuanyuan swiftly squeezed out a smile, respectfully extended her hand, and responded procedurally: “Teacher Fu, it’s an honour to meet you, I’m an editor from Chuancheng4 Magazine. My name is Cheng Yuanyuan. I’m currently doing a topic on porcelain. I hope Mr. Fu can give me lots of advice.”

Fu Beichen reached out and politely shook her hand.

His hands were dry and warm, and Yuanyuan noticed that he had very excellent hands……Fu Beichen found that the other party’s grasp didn’t intend to loosen, and he looked at her as if he had noticed something strange. Yuanyuan couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. A flush of red burst across her face, and in a fluster she quickly withdrew her hand. In a low voice, she said the words “I’m sorry”. Fu Beichen didn’t think much of it, and carried on with what she had previously been saying: “No need to be, let’s just chat casually. I’ve read your magazine and it’s very good.”

Fu Beichen’s academic achievements were so rich. He was also supported by so many people. Yet he was unexpectedly so humble. This was all very hard to come by.

As for her being so distracted from the previous moment, Yuanyuan concluded: The picture was just too beautiful…

After that, Yuanyuan corrected her bearing and asked: “Teacher Fu, is your name taken from the phrase, ‘He who exercises government by means of his virtue may be compared to the north polar star (bei chen), which keeps its place and all the stars turn towards it’?5 The ‘bei chen’ in the middle?” As soon as she finished speaking, she was aware of her own foolishness – it was as if she had directly called his name.6

Fu Beichen looked at the girl in front of him, having worn a smile all along: “Yes.”

Yuanyuan didn’t seem to be aware of the other party, she secretly released a sigh of relief and said: “Teacher Fu – ”

Fu Beichen interrupted her: “Just call me Fu Beichen.”

Yuanyuan felt awkward to straightforwardly call the name of this high-level figure. But thinking of how she had met him before, there had always been the feeling that he was an “acquaintance”. In the end, Yuanyuan readily accepted his goodwill: “Okay, then I’ll start calling you…calling you Fu Beichen!”

“Good.”

The two were still talking when someone walked into the pavilion. His age exceeded half a century and his looks were very distinct, with eyebrows that hung upside down, triangular eyes, an upturned nose, and two whiskers accompanied by a goatee. He was also dressed in the so-called Chinese-style attire. As soon as he entered the pavilion, his eyes twitched to Fu Beichen and Cheng Yuanyuan immediately. His eyebrows moved slightly, and he opened his mouth as he smiled: “The two of you are unmarried?”

Yuanyuan stared blankly, and subconsciously leaned towards Fu Beichen’s side. Who knew, Fu Beichen looked at her yet replied to the man: “I’m unmarried.”

Yuanyuan’s heart couldn’t help thinking, how could he be so sure that she was unmarried?

The man laughed mischievously, and his whiskers trembled along: “Two people’s love road will be bumpy. It’s best not to get married within these three years. However, all things can be resolved in some way, it just costs a little effort.” This sentence that was spoken was very artistic. He hadn’t called the two of them lovers because if they were not, then he wasn’t wrong. But if they were, the two would continue thinking about it.

Yuanyuan glanced at Fu Beichen, waiting for his response. She herself didn’t know how to deal with this kind of “fortune-teller mister”. If she had been alone, she wouldn’t have cared, but Fu Beichen wasn’t revealing any clear intentions.

“Oh?” Fu Beichen raised his brows.

The man saw this as an opportunity, and without delay he continued: “I have a few Tianxi talismans here. You can buy a pair and wear them with you, and you will successfully marry the person you love as soon as possible.”

When Yuanyuan heard this, her heart thought: As expected, the swindler’s tail has been exposed. Thinking that way, she wanted to hint at Fu Beichen for them to go, yet upon hearing this, Fu Beichen asked: “How much for one?”

“I can see that fate has brought us together, so I mean, one hundred each.” The man stroked his beard and his expression looked reluctant.

“That expensive?!” Yuanyuan finally couldn’t stand it and the words left her mouth.

Fu Beichen looked composed as he took his wallet out of his pocket, drew out a couple of hundred dollar bills, and handed them to the man: “I want a pair.”

Yuanyuan looked at him in astonishment, her expression unfathomable.

The man slapped his leg: “Great!” Immediately, he fished out two yellow embroidered pouches from his bag, passed them over, and turned his hands out to accept the two hundred dollars.

“You two, I have to go to the mountain as I still have some matters to attend to. If we are fated, we will meet again. I wish you two an early marriage as a happy couple, a blissful marriage that is predestined by fate.” Since the transaction was complete, the man cheerfully left.

Seeing him disappear at lightning speed to the mountains, Yuanyuan turned around to ask the man at her side: “You…he is obviously a swindler, why did you want to spend money on his talismans?” She didn’t believe that only she could see the fake, and Fu Beichen could not.

“Genuine or fake, there’s no need to mind too much. Besides, sometimes it’s better to believe. There is nothing wrong with that,” Fu Beichen said in a mild tone.

The youthful leader really isn’t lacking in money, Yuanyuan lamented in her heart.

Fu Beichen picked a pouch embroidered with twin lotus flowers on one stalk7 and gave it to her: “Since I bought it, then I’ll give this one to you.”

“Ah?” Yuanyuan waved her hand hurriedly and awkwardly smiled. “This pouch, I don’t want it.” Looking at that man just now, he’d used his mouth to match two people in order to sell a pair. If she took that pouch, then it wouldn’t make a pair any more.

Fu Beichen smiled and didn’t insist, voluntarily putting the two pouches away. By the time Gao Ling arrived at Husband Pavilion, Yuanyuan and Fu Beichen were chatting about Gaoling Village’s historic sites. During that period, Yuanyuan had sent a message to Boss Gao saying that she was already with “Mr. Fu”.

“Beichen, I’m sorry you’ve had to wait for so long! But seeing that you and Cheng Yuanyuan are having quite a pleasant chat, it should be no problem that I’m late.”

Fu Beichen was like a warm spring breeze, only smiling at Boss Gao’s excuse.

This is probably the charm of Boss Gao, Yuanyuan thought to herself. She didn’t notice that when Fu Beichen was talking with Gao Ling, his eyes would always roam towards her side with a meaningful glance.

 

Fun fact, the line about the swindler using one mouth to sell to two people (一口一个二位) was a line I couldn’t understand for the life of me. It just didn’t make sense. At first I thought it might have the same meaning as killing two birds with one stone, but when I asked my mom she said she had no idea what it meant. My dad then explained that the man was using his one mouth to sell to two people, and that he was trying to pair them up in order to double the sale. When I asked them if it therefore did have a similar meaning to killing two birds with one stone, they both went “NO!” (…..but I think I’m kind of right…..T^T)

Anyway, if you’re reading this, I hope you had a good weekend. Please let me know if my footnotes are annoying, I’m self-conscious that I use too many. I have two finals this week so I may not update the next chapter until Thursday. The original text splits Chapter 4 into two parts.

Not to be confused with the character Gao Ling. The names sound the same, but use different characters. 萧萧肃肃爽朗清举: This seems to be a saying. I didn’t know how to translate the right feeling without being overly descriptive when it’s meant to be short, and I could only find one source on Baidu that gave an in-depth explanation saying it’s a description of his refined bearing, his peacefulness/calmness, his temperament being straightforward and bold, and his uprightness. The words I chose for the translation were just what came up in the dictionary. I was hoping to do this phrase justice, but I don’t think I captured the profoundness. Cheng Bai’s grandfather is from his father’s side, and Cheng Bai’s grandfather’s aunt is a paternal aunt. Chuangcheng is the name of her company. According to the dictionary, it means a continued tradition, inheritance, or to pass on to future generations. Since it’s being used as a name, I kept the pinyin. This phrase comes from the Lun Yu II, part of the Analects of Confucius.  The phrase is “为政以德、譬如北辰、居其所、而众星共之” (zǐ yuē wéi zhèng yǐ dé pìrú běi chén jū qí suǒ ér zhòng xīng gòng zhī). Cheng Yuanyuan is asking if Fu Beichen’s first name, Beichen, comes from that line, in which “bei chen” means north star. Cheng Yuanyuan feels foolish because she’s called out his first name when she isn’t close to him. 并蒂莲: Bìngdìlián, it directly translates to twin lotus flowers but it’s meant to symbolize a devoted married couple. 

That day Yuanyuan benefited greatly. Not only did she get to see many of the real objects from Gaoling Village that had been mentioned in her materials, but also under the guidance of her two famous “specialized tour guides”, she learned about the specific purpose and usefulness of each object, which she never would have comprehended with just her materials.

At the end, she was brought to meet one of Jingdezhen’s remaining great Ba Zhuang masters1, Wang Jiawen.

Regarding this great master’s information, Yuanyuan had naturally looked over it before coming, but she was unable to understand the fundamental parts. The only thing that had left a profound impression on her was the Ba Zhuang master Tong Binwan from the Wanli period of the Ming Dynasty, who had died in the kiln. Even though he was later conferred the title “Immortal Master of Wind and Fire” to accept generations and generations of kiln workers’ sacrifices, Yuanyuan still thought that his story was far too tragic – so tragic, that she often felt a lingering emotion rising up in her heart at once.

Nowadays, because many of the kilns and furnaces had been restored, Master Wang Jiawen had turned into an irreplaceably busy man. Therefore, it was difficult to meet him. This time Yuanyuan was able to pay a visit to Master Wang, and naturally this was by depending on Fu Beichen and Boss Gao’s face. The old master who had surpassed seventy years of age and Fu Beichen seemed to have known each other for a very long time, and the manner of speech that came from the old man was great praise towards Fu Beichen.

Not long after Yuanyuan interviewed Master Wang, there was a car already waiting for him outside. Yuanyuan understood that the old master was very busy and didn’t have the nerve to ask any more questions, hurriedly concluding the interview. After Master Wang left, it was not too early anymore. The three of them stayed in Gaoling Village and tried to find a family restaurant for dinner. 

When returning to Gao Ling’s place, Yuanyuan sat in Fu Beichen’s car. As soon as she got into the car, she immediately smelled the faint fragrance of sandalwood. Soon after, she saw a stone lotus flower hanging in the car. She let out a sound of surprise, looked towards Fu Beichen, and then made another sound of enlightenment. 

“What?” Fu Beichen tilted his head to look at her.

She shook her head: “No, it’s nothing.” There was no need to talk about minor details with someone she’d had a chance encounter with.

Later on the road, Yuanyuan flipped through the notes she had recorded, and couldn’t help but sigh sorrowfully: “As expected, studying ten thousand books is inferior to traveling ten thousand roads. Of course, if the road has a master to guide the way, then that’s even better, like a tiger that has grown wings.”

Fu Beichen heard this as he was driving and couldn’t help but smile. 

When they arrived at Gao Ling’s place, after the two of them got out of the car, Fu Beichen asked: “Are you going back to Jinghai tomorrow?”

“Yes. Ai, tonight I have to work against the clock to write my manuscript.” Tonight she would write it, tomorrow she would go back and revise it, and the day after tomorrow she would hand it to the editor-in-chief for trial…It wouldn’t be such a miserable death, right? Yuanyuan was still a little bit uncertain.

“Tonight I’m also staying here. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Yuanyuan spoke joyfully: “Then if I have any questions, it’s okay to consult you, right?”

“Naturally you can.” Fu Beichen smiled, then paused and said in a voice that wasn’t too fast nor too slow, “Tomorrow you can also go home in my car.”

“That’s really great!” Yuanyuan felt that this time in Jingdezhen, having a chance encounter with Fu Beichen was simply too lucky.

In the evening Gao Ling lent his work counter to Cheng Yuanyuan and dragged Fu Beichen out for a midnight snack. Gao Ling’s large work counter was especially easy to use. Yuanyuan turned on her computer and took out her notebook as well as the materials she had brought along. She spread them out beside her, prepared to frequently reference them.

The mountains at night were somewhat cold. Yuanyuan had previously finished showering and was wearing a black sleeveless dress. At this time, she felt a chill on her shoulders. She stood up, wanting to exercise for warmth, but who knew it would bring a burst of wind. The materials on the desk were blown off the desk. She crouched down to gather them, and a moment later, someone bent down to collect the very last piece of paper.

“How’s the writing?” It was Fu Beichen.

“Almost done.” Yuanyuan looked up at him. Without any reason, she felt a burst of happiness. As she moved to stand up, her head knocked against the corner of the table.

Yi, how come it doesn’t hurt? She glanced up suspiciously, only to find that Fu Beichen had employed his hand at the right time to block her from hitting the corner of the table.

“Sorry! I’m sorry, are you alright?” She took a look at his reddening hand and didn’t know what to do.

“It’s nothing.” Fu Beichen withdrew his hand, and after she responded with a shallow smile he asked: “Will you have any problems writing?”

“Yes, uh, no, I won’t.” Yuanyuan felt very apologetic towards him, and also embarrassed to trouble him once more.

Unexpectedly, Fu Beichen’s mind seemed to be empathetic2 and walked towards her notebook, asking: “Can I take a look?”

After receiving Yuanyuan’s nod of approval, he really sat down and earnestly read it from beginning to end. During this period of time, Yuanyuan stared fixedly at his side profile. Her heart couldn’t help but think: What kind of family was capable of teaching such a person?

Outside the door, a gust of wind blew in, and she involuntarily shivered.

Fu Beichen lifted his head from the backlight of the screen and inquired: “Are you cold?”

If he hadn’t been paying attention to her all the time, he would not have noticed such details. 

But Yuanyuan didn’t think much of it, bending her eyes into a smile and saying: “It’s fine. Right, where is Teacher Gao and the others?”

“He got drunk, I let Xiao Li drag him to his room to sleep.”

When Yuanyuan heard this, she couldn’t restrain herself from laughing out loud: “You’re living in his house, and you treat him like that?”

Fu Beichen only shook his head and said: “The wine was really bad.” After saying so, he also said: “The mountains are cold at night, you should go add a coat. I’ll stay here and help you keep watch.” He spoke so gently that Yuanyuan felt she couldn’t completely refute. Without any better option, she obediently went upstairs.

When she came back downstairs, she saw that Fu Beichen had already tidied up the table.

“I think your report is not bad. I altered it a little, tomorrow you can take a look.” Fu Beichen finished speaking, turned off the computer, and closed it shut.

“Puchi,” Yuanyuan laughed. “You’ve turned it off, I have no choice but to listen to you.”

Fu Beichen raised his head to look at her and asked: “Shall we go for a walk?”

“Alright,” Yuanyuan gladly accepted.

The courtyard was filled with burnt and broken porcelain, vases and pots, large and small, all kinds were there. The moonlight was like water, and each piece of porcelain stood proud and aloof, emitting a cold light as if they had left behind a lifetime to stand alone.

Fu Beichen stood for a long time, gazing at those badly damaged artworks, his expression in the dim lighting hard to distinguish.

“Why doesn’t Teacher Gao just take care of these defective pieces by reducing the price?” Yuanyuan asked in a low voice.

For a long time, Fu Beichen didn’t say anything. Just when Yuanyuan thought he hadn’t heard her, she heard him slowly recite one line: “Porcelain is like jade, it’s better to be shattered jade than unbroken tile.3 It can be seen that Gao Ling cherishes them, so he would rather leave them be. He’s unwilling to offer them at a reduced price.”

The moon and stars were scarce, and they were surrounded all around, high and low by the cry of insects. As soon as one subsided, another arose. Yuanyuan gazed at the porcelain on the ground and could not help repeating the sentence: “It’s better to be shattered jade than unbroken tile…”

Fu Beichen turned his head to look at her. As if talking to himself, he said: “I seem to remember, in the past I also asked a similar question, and that’s how someone answered me.”

“Who?” Yuanyuan asked without thinking.

Fu Beichen hesitated slightly, then smiled and shook his head: “I forget.”

It seems that I still have the skill of remembering people better than others, Yuanyuan’s heart thought.

She lifted her face to look at him, only to find Fu Beichen was also looking at her fixedly. The look between his brows and eyes was profound and indistinguishable, which made her feel a little at a loss for a while. She had no choice but to turn her head and look towards the distant mountains. Soon after, she stole a glance at Fu Beichen again. He was now looking at the porcelain.

Yuanyuan thought she must have seen his expression wrong just now.

The next day, because Gao Ling had gotten drunk, he still hadn’t woken up once. Yuanyuan and Fu Beichen were courteous and considerate people. They had bothered Boss Gao a lot at his place, so it was necessary to say goodbye to their host in person. Fortunately for Cheng Yuanyuan, this day was still considered as part of the “business trip”, so as long as she returned to Jinghai City within the day then being behind schedule was no problem. Fu Beichen also didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Therefore, the two of them spent the morning in Boss Gao’s unglazed porcelain room, watching the masters busy at work. Once in a while they spoke some lines, mostly pertaining to ceramics. In this way, it felt like time passed by unexpectedly fast. 

When it was almost noon, Boss Gao woke up at long last. For neglecting his guests, Boss Gao felt deeply apologetic and resolutely urged them to stay for lunch. Finally, when Fu Beichen and Cheng Yuanyuan left Gao Ling’s home, it was almost twelve o’clock. Boss Gao sent them off and enthusiastically invited them to come again next time.

“Teacher Gao, you’re so polite. I haven’t left yet but I’m already thinking about the next time I can come again,” Yuanyuan said with a smile. 

“You’re welcome anytime.” Gao Ling patted his chest, then pointed at Fu Beichen and said quietly, “But when you come, remember to bring Expert Fu along with you. I desperately want his guidance.”

Fu Beichen smiled in silence. Yuanyuan pretended to be angry and sighed: “It turns out Teacher Gao merely used me.”

“Not at all,” Gao Ling cried out with grievance, then squeezed his eyes and said: “Yesterday night while we were getting midnight snacks, it was Beichen who said that if you came to interview again, he wouldn’t mind…”

At this time, Fu Beichen finally opened his mouth: “It seems Boss Gao has not woken up from the wine last night, so we won’t accompany you and your insanity.” He opened the car door as he talked, indicating for Yuanyuan to get in the car. Fu Beichen was a little exasperated. If he spoke a mediocre pleasantry, that Big Boss Gao would misinterpret it and give it another meaning.

Actually, Yuanyuan didn’t think much of it. Without delay, she said goodbye to Gao Ling and got in the car. After waiting for the car to start, she rolled down the window, tilting her head to the side and admiring the scenery along the way. She thought, when she got old, she must return to her hometown to enjoy a life in retirement, where there were mountains and rivers.

Fu Beichen glanced at Yuanyuan’s tousled hair as well as her thin shirt and opened his mouth: “Today it’s really windy, be careful about catching a cold.”

Yuanyuan reached out and casually smoothed her hair, smiling as she said: “I’m not cold.” Immediately after, she noticed that his slightly frowning eyebrows tightened again, so she perceptively rolled up the window without delay.

Fu Beichen was refined and elegant as he drove the car: “Where’s your home? I’ll directly send you home.”

Yuanyuan truly didn’t want to inconvenience him: “It doesn’t matter, you can drop me off wherever it’s convenient and I’ll take the bus back by myself.”

“Do you still think you’re on a long-distance bus?” Fu Beichen smiled, “Or perhaps, it’s not convenient to tell me your home address?”

“That’s not it…” In that case, Yuanyuan had to tell him about the fact that she had once seen him at Cheng Bai’s house in the past. She hadn’t mentioned it before, but she was afraid that he was someone who might feel burdened. She briefly explained to Fu Beichen the relationship between her family and Cheng Bai’s family – although the two families were not blood related, but because her father had had a good relationship with Uncle Shenghua, Uncle Shenghua helped her family a lot, more than an actual relative would. She was now also living in Uncle Shenghua’s home. And when she was young, it had also been at her uncle’s house where she had seen him for the first time.

Fu Beichen listened until she was finished, then softly laughed: “So that’s how it is. It looks like we really are brought together by fate.”

“Right!”

Inside the car, it was temporarily quiet.

Fu Beichen’s radiance swept over the person beside him. He took a light, drawn-out breath, allowing his heart to wring with emotion. It was thin, but seemed as if it had penetrated deep into his flesh and bone.

 

The “yi” sound Yuanyuan makes is an exclamation of surprise. The “puchi” sound is supposed to be a laughing noise, she’s not saying it.

Surprise! I finished my final early and had some time to update. I’ve still got another exam on Wednesday, but I’ll try to update at least once before the weekend. 

把桩师傅: According to Baidu, the one in charge of firing the kiln is honoured as the bǎ zhuāng shīfù. There’s no graceful way to translate it because it kind of means pile master, so I left it as Ba Zhuang because it’s just a name. 心有灵犀: The heart has rhinoceros horns. Rhinoceros horns are thought to be telepathic. In the translated text, I said he was empathetic, but it’s actually much deeper than that. The phrase is used for people who have romantic feelings for each other. Their hearts have rhinoceros horns, or a tacit understanding. They know what the other is thinking or feeling because they are telepathic with each other. Here, Fu Beichen knows Cheng Yuanyuan is sorry and embarrassed, so he changes the subject. 宁为玉碎，不为瓦全: Better broken jade than intact tile. This is part of a Chinese proverb that means death is preferable to dishonour. Jade is highly valued because of its cultural relevance to Chinese people, so in this proverb it is considered very honourable to be jade, even if it is broken. It’s better than lowering yourself and being an intact piece of tile, since a tile has no significant relevance and is “beneath” jade. In the context of the story, Fu Beichen is saying that the porcelain is like jade, and it’s better to be broken than to have their value lowered just so they can be cleared out when they are actually very valuable still.