Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 25 Yang Kang opens a restaurant in the United States

Chapter 25 Yang Kang opens a restaurant in the United States
1
Anthologies are very unscrupulous. Some editors often include works that are pleasing to the eye without authorization, and then have to wait until the author finds out and comes to collect debts before paying the manuscript fee and sending a sample book.Those who are smarter will make a statement at the end of the book to show their sincerity, but this kind of delaying strategy is not a panacea.For example, once I found a copy of "50 Must-Read Novels in This Century" on the bookshelf of my grandfather's house. On the last page it was impressively written "Many writers failed to distribute sample books and manuscript fees in time because they could not be contacted. Let's get in touch."Looking at the list of authors again, Gogol, Turgenev, Shen Congwen, Lao She, O. Henry, Guo Moruo, Lu Xun... It's a ghost if you can get in touch!Are you thinking with your bladder?

2
I plan to go to Japan to play, so I went to apply for a passport.When I arrived at the government affairs center in my hometown, I took a form and filled it out.There is a filled-in sample draft on the wall, instructing the rookies to follow the example.I went over and saw that the name column of the sample form said "Guo Fu", and the family members section said "Father: Guo Jing, Mother: Huang Rong, Uncle: Yang Kang", and the working status of Guo Jing and Huang Rong was "unemployed", Yang Kang It is "opening a restaurant in the United States"!What kind of setting is this!Unexpectedly, the dead civil servants working here have such a sense of humor...

3
One of Dad's friends is obsessed with Qzone.That day my dad asked me: "There was an earthquake in Taiwan a while ago, did you feel it?" I said no.Dad said: "I didn't either. I only found out after reading my friend's QQ space. He wrote on QQ space: Just now, my house suddenly shook, which scared me! I knew it It must have been an earthquake!"

... At that time, you should run away immediately instead of updating the space!

4
I remembered my first experience with Japanese food.It was when we went to Beijing to play in 2006, and our friends invited us to eat there in Xidan.At that time, I was very greedy. As soon as I saw that the menu was full of things that I had known for a long time but had no chance to see, I ordered a portion of everything, including sushi.It turned out that when I ate all the sushi, I was unfortunately full...but the other dishes came one after another, and soon I was overwhelmed.My friend reminded me that there is no left over food left in the buffet, and you will be fined for leftover food.I said: "Then help me eat a little." Everyone said: "It doesn't matter! Who told you to order so much." But they still thought of a way to help me.

One said: "Whoever of you has a bag, open it, and we will pack one quietly and take it away."

One said: "You just stuff your mouth with food, then go to the toilet, take the opportunity to spit it out, and after a few back and forth, you can consume some."

Another opened the lid of the earth vase steamer and teapot and said, "We can stuff our unfinished daily food in here and let the stupid waiter take it away."

Another pointed to the sake bottle in his hand and said, "There should be some in it."

... What a frightening human intelligence!

5
My sister told me about a classmate in her class, saying that he was good at cheating in exams, and he was all high-tech.One time when he was taking an English test and had to write an essay, he quietly took out his mobile phone to search for an essay, and quickly copied it.But soon he was caught.I asked my sister, "Why?" My sister said, "The last sentence of that English composition means 'the above is the standard answer'. I don't know, but I copied it together."

I:"……"

6
My sister is now a sophomore in high school.Seeing one of her papers on the table that day, I couldn't help feeling nostalgic, and ran over and said, "Let me do it, I wonder how many points I can get now?" My sister handed me the paper .After a while she asked: "How is it? How many points do you think I can get?"

"...I can't even understand the title!"

7
Xiaolu bought me a pair of jeans, and the price was as high as 600 yuan. This was the first pair of jeans in my life, and also the most expensive piece of clothing in my life. I was so distressed that I shivered.Every time I wear it, I am very careful, and I have a strong feeling of "can I really put my butt in such an expensive thing?"Then I felt that my lower body was really jeweled, as if it was tightly wrapped by a lot of banknotes!
When I went home during the Ching Ming Festival, I specially showed off these pants in front of my family to convey Xiaolu’s kindness and kindness to me.Grandpa was shocked at the time. He stroked my thigh... no, stroked my jeans, and murmured in a bloody tone: "No way, it's so expensive?" I was very satisfied with this reaction and said: "It's that expensive."

Then the next day, when my uncle, my grandpa and I sat in the car borrowed by my cousin to visit the grave, my grandpa started talking again.He tugged at my trousers and said, "Look, these are the trousers his girlfriend bought for him. They cost more than 600 yuan, which is really too expensive." For me who have never worn good clothes in my life, how much vanity has been satisfied.

As a result, the uncle smiled, pointed to his pair of pure cotton trousers and said, "It's normal, good trousers are very expensive. Look at my pair, they cost more than 800."

I "..." with my grandpa.Then the cousin turned around and said, "600 is indeed not expensive. My boyfriend's pants have never been under [-]."

sorry!I am a poor man!
8
Tomb-sweeping in the Qingming Festival, I went up the mountain with my grandfather and uncle.The new road is full of thrills, and it is possible to add a few dead people at any time.It was very hot, and we took off our clothes one after another when we reached the top of the mountain.At this time, the uncle asked: "Is there a toilet here?"

I pointed to the lush trees around me and said, "Just go behind any tree and solve it."

Uncle said, "Good idea, but do you have any toilet paper?"

I "..." for a while, and said, "Do you want paper money?"

The uncle thought for a few seconds and said, "No more."

Then when my grandfather and I began to worship our ancestors, my uncle disappeared mysteriously.Grandpa asked dissatisfiedly, "Where did he go?"

I said, "Should go shit."

Grandpa said: "Wow! Others are so hot that they sweat when they go up the mountain, but this person is actually defecating!"

Soon the uncle returned with a new look.

9
I usually go home once a month or two.This trip was to go back to celebrate the Ching Ming Festival. Before leaving, I said to my sister, "I'm leaving later."

"Well, get out of here." My sister said.

"Don't miss me too much."

"Don't worry, it won't."

"Don't pretend. Don't think I don't know. You often cry alone after I close the door."

"I haven't cried for a long time."

"How many dark nights, because you missed your brother, you hugged the pillow helplessly and wept."

"Pillows have only one purpose, and that's for me to sleep on."

"You stinky kid! Your brother is leaving, can't you say something warm? Brother is very sad!"

"If you want to go, go!" My sister slammed the door shut.

... What about the brother-sister relationship?How is the sibling relationship? !
10
After staying in the world of nerds for a long time, I often have wonderful associations and conditioned reflexes for some irrelevant things in real life.For example, that day, I accompanied my mother to burn incense, and as soon as I entered the temple and saw the words "Daxiong Palace", I couldn't help but sigh: Daxiong is really not easy, there are all treasure halls.

11
Recently, I was reading Roald Dahl's biography "Good Boy-Childhood Story". There was a passage that mentioned "big hard candy" and "penny" frequently, so I had to mistake it for "poop candy".

(End of this chapter)

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