Modern social etiquette and eloquence

Chapter 35 Grooming and dress etiquette (1)
"A man depends on clothes and a horse depends on a saddle." "A man lives a face, a tree lives a skin." These two sentences fully illustrate the importance of grooming and clothing to a person.If you don't pay attention to your own dressing and appearance, even if you are naturally beautiful, you can't leave a good impression on people.But if you attach great importance to maintaining your own good image, then even if he (she) looks mediocre, he (she) can win everyone's love with his (her) dignified, natural and unrestrained manners.

[-]. Keep clean at all times in social situations
Two people with the same appearance may not be able to see the difference when they stand together, but if one of them is well-dressed and clean, while the other is slovenly and slovenly, people can tell them apart at a glance, and everyone will Willing to associate with a clean and tidy person.No one would compliment a dirty-looking person with taste, charm, let alone a relationship.

A clean and tidy appearance can leave a good first impression on people, and it is the most basic requirement of manners and manners. So what does a clean and tidy appearance include?

1. Maintain dental hygiene
White and clean teeth are the first appearance of a neat appearance, and it will add a bit of unexpected charm to people.In the process of interacting with people, having yellow teeth and black teeth will naturally reduce your self-confidence, and others will also feel uncomfortable in the eyes of others.People who don't know you are likely to think that you are a rough person who doesn't care about appearance, or even that you don't respect him enough.

2. Hand and nail cleansing
Hands can be said to be the second face of a person, and it is inevitable to shake hands when interacting with people.If you stretch out a pair of dirty hands, others are likely to think about you, and you may also put others in a difficult situation.Let's shake hands with you, your dirty hands make people look tired, don't shake hands with you, your kindness is hard to refuse.Therefore, in order to show respect for others, it is very necessary to pay attention to hand hygiene.

Whether the nails are clean or not directly reflects a person's attitude towards life and the importance attached to etiquette.Clean and beautiful nails give people a relaxed and comfortable feeling, and can create a wider space for the communication between the two parties.Otherwise, it is likely to affect each other's contacts.

3. No annoying smell

Bad breath, underarm odor, cigarette smell, alcohol smell, shoe smell, etc. are all factors that affect interpersonal communication. These smells will make you look dirty and slovenly, and make people "keep a respectful distance".

(1) Clear bad breath.

Bad breath is one of the scourges that destroys human communication.No one wants to talk to someone with bad breath, especially at close quarters.

(2) Underarm odor affects personal image.

Underarm odor is also called body odor.There is a sweat gland in the armpit of the human body. In addition to excreting sweat, it also excretes more metabolites, such as fatty acids and proteins. These substances will produce unpleasant odors under the action of normal parasitic bacteria on the skin surface. , especially in summer, when the temperature is high and the secretion of sweat glands is strong, the smell becomes even bigger.Some people have more sweat glands, and more of them are distributed in the armpits, so underarm odor is formed. People with underarm odor, I believe most of them have been troubled by it, but there is no need to worry about it. Perfume, deodorant, especially in summer, daily A second shower in the morning and evening can solve this problem.

(3) Smell of smoke, alcohol and shoes.

Relatively speaking, the smell of cigarettes, alcohol and shoes is not as serious as bad breath and underarm odor, but it will also affect personal image and social interaction.

Nowadays, many people like to smoke and drink. In fact, this is not a good habit. Smoking and drinking will not only accelerate the aging of the skin, make the skin lose its original elasticity and luster, but also produce an unpleasant smell.

The smell of shoes is the same as the smell of tobacco and alcohol, and it is also a taboo in image etiquette.

Keeping personal clean and hygienic can not only lay a solid foundation for shaping one's own image, but also shorten the distance between each other in the process of socializing and create conditions for enhancing feelings.

[-]. Instrument modification and improvement
The norms of social behavior form etiquette.Social etiquette is a treaty for people to communicate in life.As Dai Sheng said: "The reason why people are human is etiquette and righteousness. The beginning of etiquette and righteousness lies in the integrity, appearance, and speech."

"A man depends on his clothes and a horse depends on his saddle".This sentence fully illustrates the importance of dressing for a person.If you don't pay attention to your own dressing and appearance, even if you are naturally beautiful, you will certainly not be able to leave a good impression on people.Conversely, if a person pays attention to his own dress and does not treat it as a "section", he will beautify himself and win the respect of others.For young people, if they want to step into the society smoothly, start their long life journey, and win one success after another, they should make up their minds to start with "I", strive to improve their first image, and fully integrate themselves into the society. to the whole society.

Appearance refers to a person's external appearance, which is composed of appearance, hairstyle and clothing.A person's appearance can reflect a person's mental state and etiquette literacy, which affects the "first impression" of people's communication, and has a greater impact on social success and career smoothness.

"Song History · Yang Chengxin Biography" records that "Chengxin is eight feet long, beautiful in appearance, good at speaking, and versatile".Appearance beauty is not only reflected in a person's appearance and body shape, but also closely related to a person's dress, makeup and accessories.Under certain social conditions, people always consciously or unconsciously form a common aesthetic view on a person's appearance, which is people's aesthetic standards for appearance.For example, Song Yu (Deng Tuzi's Lustful Fu) described a beautiful woman who is all over the country: "The most beautiful woman in the world is Chu, the beauty of Chu is the minister, and the beauty of the minister is the son of the Dong family. The son of the Dong family is one of the most beautiful. If it is divided, it is too long, if it is reduced by one point, it is too short, if it is powdered, it will be too white, and if it is applied, it will be too red." The so-called "just right" is probably the case.

The famous Italian painter and human anatomist Leonardo da Vinci proposed that the proportions of the various parts of the human body conform to certain "golden section laws". 1/7, the body length is reduced by 1/4 when kneeling, and 1/4 when lying down, and the width of the two armpit is equal to the width of the hip.The frontal width of the thigh should be equal to the width of the face, the distance between the eyes should be equal to the length of one eye, the length of the ears should be equal to the length of the nose, etc.This is a natural standard of human body beauty and an integral part of appearance beauty.But there are not many people who are born with beautiful appearance, suitable fat and thin, suitable height, beautiful complexion, healthy and strong, and beautiful lines.For the vast majority of people, it is necessary to cover up their deficiencies through dressing, makeup, and accessories, maximize their strengths and avoid weaknesses, and create a visual aesthetic.

Instrument modification should adhere to the following principles.

(1) Attention should be paid to the fitness, and the grooming should be suitable for appearance, body shape, and personal temperament; it should be coordinated with one's own identity and occupation, and conform to and reflect one's own identity characteristics and inner plain intentions.

(2) Attention should be paid to the integrity, and the modification of each part should be in harmony with the whole.

(3) Appropriateness must be grasped, no matter in the degree of decoration, or in the number of accessories and decoration techniques, we must grasp the proportion, be natural and moderate, and pursue the effect of carving without trace.

(4) "According to local conditions and current conditions".It is to require the instrument modification to change accordingly due to changes in time, place and occasion.

[-]. People with a smile are always welcome
People are emotional animals, and it is human instinct to laugh. A sincere smile can shorten the distance between people and affect other people's emotions.When you are walking on the street and meet a stranger who asks you the way with a smile, you will be happy to help him or even take him for a while.If what you see is not a smiling person, but a gloomy face, at this time, you will probably also look down, and send the other person away with a sentence of "I don't know" or "I don't know".

Smiling can not only affect oneself but also infect others, and can eliminate barriers and misunderstandings between people.

After you had a quarrel with your friend, when you suddenly meet one day, you send her a sincere smile, and your previous worries will naturally disappear.If the other party returns you a friendly smile, the two parties will surely be able to reconcile as before.If you put on a "bitter face" when the two parties meet, not only will the conflict not be resolved, but it may intensify.

"Smile is the shortest distance between two people." Laughter is inseparable in interpersonal communication. A world without laughter is no different from hell.

To evaluate whether a person understands etiquette and self-cultivation depends not only on his dress and manner, but also on whether he often smiles.

When interacting with people, you might as well add a smile, which is the most powerful tool to connect the two parties.As long as you smile sincerely and kindly, you can open the hearts of others and achieve the goal of mutual trust.

In social activities, smiling is the most beautiful etiquette.Not only does it make people amiable and respectable, it's also a highly profitable, risk-free investment.

Whether in business negotiations or in workplace interactions, a smile has become a signal representing peace, friendship, care, and greetings.With a smile, strangers who meet by chance may become confidants who talk about everything; with a smile, enemies who bear mutual hatred may become best friends;

Smiling is the best manner and etiquette, and it is the best meeting gift for others.It uses sincerity, tolerance, trust, politeness, friendliness, kindness, etc. as energy to light up the green light for people's social communication.

Although smiling is the best etiquette, there are also some taboos.

(1) Avoid fake smiles.The so-called fake smile refers to a fake smile. Not only does this kind of smile not produce good results, but it will affect your personal image.

(2) Avoid sneering.The so-called sneer refers to a smile with anger, sarcasm, dissatisfaction, and helplessness. This kind of laughter shows frivolity and arrogance, which is quite different from the effect of a smile.

(3) Avoid laughing strangely.The so-called weird smile, as the name suggests, refers to a smile that is yin and yang. This kind of laughter is full of threats and ridicule, which makes people feel uncomfortable, and then produces boredom.

(4) Avoid flattering and laughing.The so-called flattering, sycophantic, and purposeful laughter refers to the kind of laughter that makes people creepy and increases their vigilance.

(5) Avoid snickering.The so-called snickering refers to snickering behind one's back, this kind of laughing is inevitably suspected of gloating and complacent.

A smile is a sign of self-cultivation, the best manners and etiquette, a symbol of friendliness and politeness. "Everyone with a three-point smile."In the process of interpersonal communication, whether it is an acquaintance or a stranger who meets by chance, a smile can shorten the distance between the two parties and convey each other's kindness.As the saying goes: "Look at each other and smile away all kindness and hatred." It can be seen that a smile plays an important role.

[-]. When standing, you must have a standing posture, and when sitting, you must have a sitting posture
Gentleness, calmness, generosity, and politeness have been a sign of civilization since ancient times.In modern communicative studies, behavior is also one of the important means to measure a person's communicative ability and level.Indeed, polite behavior is a kind of self-cultivation and one of the important means of showing manners and etiquette.

Behavior refers to the general term for various postures that a person's body exhibits in life.It mainly consists of lying posture, knee-bending posture, upright posture and some other auxiliary postures.People complete various activities through changes in various body postures, so as to show their unique physical charm.

Good or bad behavior, beauty and ugliness not only have a great impact on personal health, but also have a certain perspective on people's psychological status.In a sense, human behavior is also a kind of language. It is silent, but sometimes it is more expressive than vocal words.

The same person will have different body postures on different occasions, whether static or moving, fast or slow; the same posture will have extremely subtle differences at different times and in front of different people.Each change can send out different meaning signals and convey different information to people.However, changes in behavior are ultimately caused by changes in people's mentality. Any kind of behavior unabashedly reflects a certain psychological state and inner quality of a person at that time.

Behavior is a mirror of the inner workings of a person.When we evaluate a person's quality, we often take his words, deeds and actions as the object of investigation.It is neither necessary nor advisable to postulate and put on airs in life.But small things in life, behavior, and a little carelessness will also affect the overall situation.In life, beauty comes from all aspects. Elegant and generous behavior is the expression of the dynamic and static beauty of the human body, and it comes from the person himself.

It can be seen that in daily life, behavior has a great influence on people. It determines a person's external image, taste, quality, and self-cultivation. Therefore, it is necessary to master some behavior etiquette.

In daily life, the human body can assume various postures, such as standing, lying down, lying down, kneeling, standing upright, etc.Under normal circumstances, people often express themselves in public communication situations by standing, sitting, walking and other postures.Different postures have different functions and performances, which reflect different mentalities of people and leave different impressions on others.

Different postures have different relative etiquette requirements. The etiquette of behavior mainly includes the following requirements.

1. Standing requirements
Standing posture is a static modeling action of a person, and it is the basis and starting point of other postures.A graceful standing posture can show a person's self-confidence and leave a good impression on others.

The correct standing posture should be chest up, shoulders slightly back and flat.Straighten the neck, close the chin, raise the head, and place the arms naturally drooping on both sides of the body, or put the hands together in front of the body on the lower abdomen.

When a man is standing, his feet can be shoulder-width apart, and his hands can also be crossed at the back of the waist to reflect the masculinity of men, and the requirements for other parts remain unchanged.

The most graceful posture for a lady to stand is slightly sideways, at an angle of 45 degrees to the horizontal, facing straight ahead.The feet are T-shaped, and the right (left) foot is located in the middle and back of the left (right) foot; the rest of the requirements are the same as above.Such a standing posture can show the graceful and slender figure of women, and at the same time fully reflect the feminine beauty of women.

When standing, prevent the body from staggering and the center of gravity is unstable.Do not lean against the wall when standing, showing a listless look.In addition, you should not put your hands on your waist or hug your chest, as it looks domineering and unacceptable.

2. Sitting posture requirements
A dignified and elegant sitting posture can also show a person's static beauty.The essentials of the correct sitting posture are: keep the upper body straight, do not bend over, do not lean forward against the edge of the table and lean back on the back of the chair, keep a distance of about one punch between the upper body and the table or chair; keep your knees together, and do not separate your legs; The feet hang down naturally, stretching forward without crossing, or stretching out the legs one after the other, even in a figure-eight shape.Fold or hold hands with palms down, place them on one side of the body or on the knees, and keep the head, forehead, and neck as they are standing.When sitting and talking, the upper body and legs should be turned to each other at the same time, and the eyes should look squarely at the speaker.

When a man is seated, his feet can be flat on the ground, his knees can be slightly separated, and his hands can be placed on the left and right knees.In addition, men can also sit with their legs crossed and stacked, but the legs and feet on top should not be "erlang legs" upward, let alone shake their legs at will.

When a lady is seated, keep her legs together and put them on one side of her body. There may be a slight difference between her feet. If her legs are slanting to the left, put her right foot behind her left foot; Put your foot behind your right foot.In this way, it can reflect the nobility and elegance of women and give people a pleasing feeling.

3. Gait etiquette

Gait, that is, the posture of walking forms the dynamic beauty.Anyone can walk, but whether they can walk out of etiquette, demeanor, and elegance still needs to rely on usual practice and attention.

The ancients said: "Walk like the wind." It means that you walk lightly and quickly like the wind. The correct gait etiquette should be: look straight ahead with both eyes, raise your head and chest, upper body upright, abdomen retracted, waist straight; body center of gravity Land on the center of the feet, not deflected.When walking forward, the center of gravity should be moved from the middle of the feet to the front of the feet, the arms should be close to the body and swing back and forth naturally with the steps; the fingers should naturally bend towards the body.Keep your walking path as straight as possible, with moderate strides.

4. Other gestures and etiquette

(1) Pick up objects from low places.When you want to pick up an object that has fallen on the ground or placed in a low place, it is best to approach the object, keep your upper body upright, and squat down with one leg.In this way, you can easily achieve the goal and show your beautiful posture.That kind of posture with straight legs, lower waist and hips or squatting with legs is not advisable.

(2) Up and down stairs.When going upstairs or downstairs, the upper body should keep straight, and walk to the right, do not lower your head, and keep your eyes straight ahead.The footing should be light, and the center of gravity is generally located on the sole of the front foot for stability.

(3) Take a car.When you want to get into the car, you must first sit sideways on the car seat, then move your legs and feet into the car door at the same time, then adjust your body, and sit comfortably.When getting out of the car, the legs should be moved out first, and then the body should be moved out of the car.The wrong and extremely indecent posture is to get into the car with your head down first, bend your waist and raise your buttocks, and then step in with your feet in turn, as if crawling;

The incorrect postures mentioned above will affect a person's image and cultural accomplishment.In conclusion, for individuals, maintaining good posture will benefit them for life.

[-]. Clothing is the most appropriate "language"

Social life is ever-changing, and people's personalities have formed many differences. Some people are lively and cheerful, some are straightforward, some are gentle and refined, and some are quiet and delicate.Imitation is not beauty, patchwork is not beauty, fashion is not necessarily beauty.Clothing should be true to personality, and clothing is your spokesperson.

1. The color of clothing

The color of clothing is the most leading and most sensitive in human perception.During the development of people's cognitive ability, aesthetic awareness and clothing culture, all nations in the world have endowed different colors with the same or similar social meanings; Recognize and pass on from generation to generation through education, traditional habits, etc.

Different colors can cause different psychological effects of the perceiver, and have different symbolic meanings.Generally speaking, the symbolic meanings of various colors are as follows.

(1) Red: It symbolizes excitement, enthusiasm and happiness.

(2) Yellow: It symbolizes luxury and bright.

(3) Blue: Symbolizes tranquility, wisdom and profoundness.

(4) Orange: Symbolizes vitality and warmth.

(5) Green: Symbolizes vitality and peace.

(End of this chapter)