Modern social etiquette and eloquence

Chapter 25 Diplomatic etiquette and eloquence in foreign affairs (2)
On August 1968, 8, Premier Zhou Enlai said at the National Day reception held by the Romanian Embassy in China: "Dear Ambassador Duma, comrades and friends: my country and Romania are both socialist countries, and the relationship is very friendly. .” First of all, the relationship between “comrades” is highlighted, which is polite, but also very cordial, friendly, and natural.In comparison, on September 23, 1972, when Premier Zhou Enlai welcomed Japanese Prime Minister Kakuei Tanaka, he said: "Dear Prime Minister Kakuei Tanaka, distinguished guests, friends, and comrades from Japan." Because this time Kakuei Tanaka's visit to China was for the purpose of negotiating a solution to the normalization of diplomatic relations between China and Japan, a long-awaited issue that the people of the two countries have long expected to resolve, and he came with the confidence and determination that an agreement must be reached. The Chinese people and the government warmly welcome this of.It can be seen from the appellation that the Chinese people are very warm and friendly, but it is different from the previous examples.

3. Respect Habits
Once there is more than one person being addressed, it is necessary to be considerate and not to omit anything, and more importantly, to take into account the cultural habits of different countries.For example, in Chinese, it is customary to put men before women, such as "men and women guests", "scholars and women gather".According to Western customs, women are in the front and men are in the back.For example, when Premier Zhou Enlai gave a toast at the banquet welcoming President Nixon, he called it like this:
Mr. President, Mrs. Nixon,

ladies and gentlemen,
Comrades and friends:
……

President Nixon was the guest of honor and deserved to be addressed first.On the second floor, "ladies" come first. If you put "gentlemen" first, it is impolite.

Officials with higher status, such as ministers and above, can be called "Your Excellency", but the United States, Mexico, the Federal Republic of Germany and other countries do not have the habit of calling you Your Excellency, so they can be called "Mr."In international exchanges, married women are generally referred to as "Madame" and unmarried women are referred to as "Miss". The two should not be confused.If a married woman is called "Miss", it doesn't matter much, it is just a "pleasant mistake", but calling an unmarried woman "Madame" will cause strong dissatisfaction from the other party.Therefore, the address is very important. He is a person's "business card", which can show the person's authority and status.

[-]. Diplomatic rhetoric: try to avoid saying "yes" and "no"

In diplomatic activities, our side may sometimes be in an active position, and sometimes may be in a passive position.When accepting questions and doubts from the other party in a passive situation, how to answer and express your position becomes a very critical issue. A little carelessness will cause misunderstandings, leaks or other adverse consequences.At this time, the best way is to avoid expressing your opinion.However, it is impolite and inappropriate to directly refuse. The correct way should be: avoid expressing your opinion, but at the same time, you should not damage the face of the other party, destroy the atmosphere of the conversation between the two parties, and establish a good personal image in front of the international public. and national image.The common ways to avoid expressing opinions are as follows.

1. Topic transfer method

In the 70s, during the war in the Middle East, Kissinger led the US delegation to Egypt for peace talks with President Sadat.At the beginning of the talks, after Sadat said a few pleasantries, he showed Kissinger an Egypt-Israel disengagement plan.Sadat then took a drag on his cigarette and asked Kissinger for his opinion.

According to this plan, Israel will evacuate 2/3 of the ground in the Sinai area, which is difficult to do.Because it is very difficult to persuade Israel to retreat several kilometers on the west bank of the Suez Canal, so there is no reason to induce Israel to make such a large retreat; besides, what is Egypt's exchange condition for Israel to do so?Sadat was again vague on this issue.Therefore, Kissinger could not explicitly agree to this plan.However, the talks have just begun, and the United States and Egypt have only just started contact since the war, so it is unwise to reject this plan at this time.So, can you say "let's talk about quid pro quo"?No way!It is also very dangerous to talk about this thorny issue that makes it difficult for all parties to make concessions when the two sides have no basis.Therefore, the best way is to avoid this question and avoid taking a stand.At this time, Kissinger used the topic shifting method.Kissinger said: "Before we talk about the business at hand, can the president tell me how you managed to pull off that jaw-dropping surprise attack so successfully on October 10th? That was a turning point, and we What is being done now is, in a sense, an inevitable consequence of this turning point."

Sadat squinted, took another drag on his cigarette, and smiled.So he gave up the request for Kissinger to express his position, but spoke at Kissinger's request.Kissinger was able to avoid taking a stand because he deflected the subject in a respectful way.Kissinger took the initiative to ask about that matter to compliment Sadat, to establish his negotiating position, and to prove that he did not come to this negotiation from a weak position. s right.All in all, he restored Egypt's honor and pride.

2. Joke avoidance method

After the talks between Egypt and the United States, Sadat and Kissinger jointly met with reporters.A reporter asked Sadat: "Mr. President, will the United States stop airlifting military supplies to Israel from now on?"

"Your question should be addressed to Dr. Kissinger," Sadat replied.Although he knew very well at this time that the airlift was coming to an end, he still avoided the question.

Kissinger immediately said: "Fortunately, I didn't hear what question this reporter asked."

Regarding the sensitive and confidential issue of whether the airlift will be stopped soon, both sides avoided it. Sadat used to divert attention, while Kissinger used "haha", that is, joking and avoiding.

3. Nonsense avoidance method

On September 1965, 9, Chen Yi, Vice Premier and Foreign Minister of the State Council, held the first press conference since the founding of the People's Republic of China in Beijing. Nearly 29 Chinese and foreign journalists attended.During the meeting, Japanese reporters asked about China's development of nuclear weapons, and specifically asked when the third atomic bomb would be exploded.For this kind of question, of course we have to avoid it, but Chen Yi did not say "no comment" and other stereotypes, but said humorously:
"China has exploded two atomic bombs. I know it, and you know it too. The third atomic bomb may also explode. When it will explode, please wait and see the communiqué."

The audience roared with laughter.Of course, everyone knows that China exploded two atomic bombs; when the third atomic bomb is exploded, reporters will of course pay attention to the communiqué.The problem is that the reporter wanted to know at this time, but Chen Yi deliberately said some "nonsense" words like this, not only avoiding sensitive issues, but also showing wit and humor.

[-]. Diplomatic speeches should be appropriate
In diplomatic activities, speaking must be polite and measured, otherwise, it will easily lead to three consequences.

(1) Failure to convey the information to be conveyed.

(2) Make the other party misunderstand the information he conveys.

(3) Passing out information that should not be passed on, leaking state secrets.Therefore, maintaining the proper etiquette of diplomatic rhetoric is also one of the principles that must be followed in foreign exchanges.So, how to make the words reasonable and restrained?

1. Precise language
Many sayings and words (mainly synonyms) in the language have the same basic meaning, but there are subtle differences between them. These differences are often negligible and interchangeable in general social communication, but in foreign communication But he is very particular about it, and he must not be careless, let alone talk about it.

In 1959, when US Vice President Nixon visited the former Soviet Union, he asked the former Soviet leader Khrushchev about the submarine plan of the former Soviet Union.This question has already involved the relationship between the two countries and military secrets that have an impact on the balance of power in the world, and Nixon's motivation for raising such a question at this time is also extremely subtle.But Khrushchev blurted out: "We can build as many submarines as we can." Such careless and rude words are likely to cause serious consequences. At this time, Mikoyan who was present gave him a trick. He gave a warning wink and said: "What the chairman means is that we can build as many submarines as we need for defense purposes." In diplomatic activities, such incidents that need to be repaired after the fact should be avoided.

2. Euphemistic and subtle
In diplomatic activities, there are many sayings that cannot be said directly, otherwise the effect will be greatly weakened, or even the opposite situation will occur. At this time, the words should be tactful and reserved.The advantage of doing this is that not only can the discourse have a certain degree of flexibility, but it can also avoid embarrassing situations for yourself or the other party.

In 1954, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill visited the United States, and President Eisenhower held a state dinner for him at the White House.At that time, Churchill was very old. At the state banquet, Mrs. Eisenhower saw that Churchill seemed to have difficulty cutting meat with a table knife, so she quietly helped him cut the meat, and said politely: the knives on the White House table are not very sharp.If Mrs. Eisenhower said bluntly: "You have difficulty cutting meat, let me cut it for you!" This may be interpreted as saying that Churchill is old, which will definitely arouse Churchill's dissatisfaction.

When Nixon was running for president of the United States in 1960, Japanese Prime Minister Shigeru Yoshida visited the United States and gave Nixon a sculpture, which he said was made especially for Nixon by a Japanese artist.Then Yoshida Shigeru casually mentioned that the title of this sculpture is "Victory" deliberately pretending to be understated.Instead of directly wishing Nixon a successful election campaign, he presented a sculpture titled "Victory". This act itself was relatively implicit, and the way the title was selected aggravated the implicit nature of the matter.At that time, the campaign was Nixon's biggest concern, and he couldn't help smiling knowingly after hearing such implicit words.

3. Leave room for
Sometimes, it is impossible to accurately distinguish the scale of words. The best way is not to say too much, but to leave room for maneuver.At this time, a word can be replaced by the method of concept replacement.For example, in the No. 1 Sino-US Joint Communiqué, "all Chinese on both sides of the Taiwan Strait" was used to replace relevant words that were difficult for both sides to accept; secondly, suggestive language can be used.This conveys the message being conveyed and best prepares you for changing or interpreting the decision later.For example, in the Middle East crisis, the Israeli army surrounded the Egyptian Third Army, and the former Soviet Union wanted to take action. The United States asked the former Soviet Union to "not take unilateral actions" and said "if it is taken, it will have extremely serious consequences."This language is a highly suggestive language.This hint seemed extremely polite.If you directly say, "If you take unilateral action, we will do so", it may infuriate the other party.One word prospers the country, one word mourns the country.Diplomatic rhetoric can indeed sometimes have very serious consequences.

[-]. To resist, but also to cultivate
In foreign exchanges, due to different or opposing interests, verbal confrontation often occurs.But this kind of confrontation has specific requirements: on the one hand, it must be righteous and powerful, and be able to defend its own and national interests; on the other hand, it must pay attention to self-cultivation in order to establish a good international image.To this end, pay attention to the following two points.

(1) Speech is relevant, and the sentence is quick.

When countering the opponent's unreasonable words and deeds, your own words must be related to the opponent's words, and at the same time be able to quickly pick up the words and phrases in the opponent's speech, and start a rebuttal.

In the autumn of 1955, German Chancellor Adenauer visited the former Soviet Union and held talks with Khrushchev in Moscow.Both are very tenacious and conceited.The conversation between the two sides was full of confrontation, tit-for-tat, and tit-for-tat.Responding to a German proposal, Khrushchev once said:
"Before I agree with you, I'm going to visit you in hell!"

Adenauer immediately fired back: "If you see me in hell, it's only because you got there before me!"

Adenauer seized on Khrushchev's words about going to hell and launched a swift counterattack.

(2) Be calm and restrained without losing etiquette.

Sometimes the other party's words are very "aggressive", at this time, I must not be furious and swear.In doing so, on the one hand, it will destroy the self-image, and on the other hand, it will also weaken the counterattack force of one's own words due to emotional agitation.A masterful and powerful counterattack should be emotionally balanced, courteous, and self-restraining.

In 1957, Nixon visited the former Soviet Union.Before that, the U.S. Congress passed a resolution on enslaved nations.During the talks with Nixon, Khrushchev vehemently criticized the resolution, and yelled angrily: "This resolution stinks, it stinks like a horse's fresh shit, and there is nothing worse than that. It stinks."

These words were so vulgar that even Khrushchev's interpreter blushed when he heard them, and it took him a while to translate them.In this regard, Nixon of course had to "counterattack".You know, when the interpreter was translating, Khrushchev was staring at Nixon.But how to fight back?If you curse a lot, it is obvious that the counterattack is weak.Nixon recalled that before his visit, the background materials prepared for him by the staff mentioned that Khrushchev had been a swineherd when he was young. He also remembered that he knew that horse manure was often used as fertilizer when he was a child, but once his neighbor used A load of pig manure, it really stinks.So Nixon looked into Khshchelov's eyes and replied in a conversational tone: "I'm afraid the chairman is wrong. There is one thing that smells worse than horse manure, and that is pig manure."

Nixon's demeanor was calm, but his words revealed sharpness, so his counterattack was extremely strong.Khrushchev was so angry that he had no choice but to change the subject and talk about other things.

In addition, "counterattack" must focus on the target, and should not be too sensitive and full of doubts, which will lose demeanor and self-restraint.

During Khrushchev's visit to the United States in 1959, the leaders of the two countries chatted over lunch.Eisenhower wanted to lighten the conversation by asking Khrushchev what he liked best to do on vacation.Khürstshov said he liked to swim on the shores of the Black Sea or go hunting in the countryside.Eisenhower said he enjoyed going out fishing and golfing, but he found it difficult to avoid being distracted by the phone during conversations.After listening to the interpreter's translation, Khrushchev said angrily: "We also have telephones in the Soviet Union. In fact, we will soon have more telephones than you in the United States." It should be said that Khrushchev was too sensitive and lost his response. Some demeanor and self-restraint.When confronting, it is best to see the strength of the opponent clearly.

[-]. Confidential talk is also useful in diplomacy
In diplomatic activities, most of the issues that have to be dealt with are related to national interests. Of course, private matters cannot be the topic of conversation.However, if you insert some personal topics at the right time, it will make the atmosphere easier and make the other party feel good about yourself and your country.

In April 1953, German Chancellor Adenauer visited the United States. Nixon and Dulles, as representatives of President Eisenhower, went to the airport to meet Adenauer.Adenauer's visit is of great significance to the relationship between the United States and the West Germany.The Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany has never visited the United States. Adenauer is the first official visitor from the Federal Republic of Germany since the First World War. In addition, it is only eight years since the end of the Second World War. How will the United States receive Adenauer? Denner, will indicate whether the hostility caused by Hitler and the Nazis has eased.In his welcome speech, therefore, Nixon decided to convey a message: Adenauer's visit marked the restoration rather than the establishment of constructive relations between the two countries.So, how did Nixon convey this important message concerning the relationship between the two countries?He took advantage of the topic of personal matters.Nixon said:

"The two world wars have turned the goose-stepping nationalist and militaristic Prussian-Nazis into an image of Germany and a part of American folklore. It is often said: 'The German soldiers either Stuck in your neck, or get on your knees.’ But I know there is another side to Germany and the German-American relationship. Mrs. Nixon’s mother was born in Germany. My own mother majored in German at university and has always spoken highly of the The achievements and levels achieved by major German universities. At Duke Law School, I learned from Professor Ron Fuber that German scholars had a profound influence on the development of Western law.”

Nixon used the experiences and knowledge of his mother-in-law, mother and himself as topics, which gave a good start to the talks between the two sides.On this basis, he also mentioned that there was a statue of a Prussian officer just a few steps away from the hotel where Adenauer was staying.This Prussian officer had served under President George Washington, in charge of the training of the Continental Army, and achieved great military success.Americans, Nixon said, will never forget what this officer and millions of other Germans have done to America.

Adenauer was greatly moved by Nixon's words. He said to Nixon: "I thank you for your generosity. You praised the friendship between the United States and Germany, and did not mention the past few decades." Afterwards , the two sides held constructive talks.

(End of this chapter)