Low-key life, high-profile work

Chapter 6 Lower your posture and win a wider space (1)
"Howling your head is the ear of grain, and raising your head is the seedling of grain." No matter in daily life or in the workplace, lowering your posture is a seemingly ordinary, but actually profound strategy in life.It is a kind of posture, but also a kind of demeanor, a kind of self-cultivation, and a kind of wisdom.Only those who know how to lower their posture can win a broader space for development.

Instead of fighting, let it go

An electric car rushed over obliquely, and the bus driver slammed on the brakes.The driver cursed, and the people on the electric car glared back.Because the bus braked too hard, the passengers in the back didn't hold on tightly and fell on the passengers in front.If it weren't for the crowds in the car, it might have collapsed, so before there was a commotion outside, the commotion started inside.Someone shouted impatiently: "You won't hold on tighter?" "The brakes are too fast, don't you see that everyone is unsteady? Just be considerate." The passengers behind said so.The passenger in front was annoyed: "What's your attitude? You're the one pushing me down, so I can't remind you? I've never seen you so shameless." "Who do you say is shameless! Say it again!" The aggressive one.The person in front said even more angrily: "I'm going to blame you! What's the matter? What's the matter?" The two sides were very close, and they didn't know who touched the other first, and they started fighting, and the bus became a mess.At this time, the driver couldn't care about the electric car anymore.

"Strong" physical contact is easy to happen in the bus - you hit me, I stepped on you, and various collisions are inevitable.Most of the passengers are strangers. Maybe you say "I'm sorry", and I smile and say "It's okay", and the dispute will be gone.But this is not the case. There are always a few narrow-minded people who turn such trivial things into big things. It is not new for scolding and fighting to happen in the bus.As the saying goes, "One slap can't make a sound", as long as one person is willing to let go of accusations or complaints, farce may not happen.

"The prime minister can pull a boat in his belly", you and I in ordinary life may not be able to practice the measure of a "prime minister", but being appropriately magnanimous to the small conflicts in life will certainly avoid fights and quarrels.In fact, we all know that these sesame and mung bean-like trivial matters do not seriously harm us, but "don't steam steamed buns to fight for breath", this is people's consistent thinking, and more unhappiness occurs as a result.It's not so much that self-esteem is causing trouble, it's better to say that my heart is not broad enough.

There was a prime minister named Wang Dan in the Northern Song Dynasty who never got angry.The madam wanted to know how good-tempered he was, so she quietly ordered the servant girl to bring him a cup of hot soup, and then intentionally spilled the soup on his court clothes—he was wet by the maidservant as soon as he put on the court clothes.Wang Dan stood up immediately, and asked the servant girl with concern, "You didn't burn your hands, did you?" The lady didn't say anything after seeing it.

As an official in the court, Wang Dan's mind is even more admirable.The courtier Kou has an upright temper, and he is even more merciless when criticizing Wang Dan.Later, even the emperor couldn't stand it, and whispered to Wang Dan: "Kou often speaks ill of you." If someone else, they might also write a book about Kou, telling his bad things.But Wang Dan said: "Your Majesty, I have been the prime minister for so long, there must be many things that I have not done thoughtfully. Kou criticized me for the sake of the country, and I have to accept it with humility." After hearing this, the emperor called him generous.

Later, Wang Dan was seriously ill, and before he died, he recommended Kou as prime minister, which surprised the emperor even more.Because he was often advised by Kou, the emperor did not want to appoint Kou, but Wang Dan insisted: "Besides Kou, I don't know who else is suitable for me." The emperor had no choice but to accept Kou as his prime minister.

Many people like to use their own standards to demand others, so discordant things happen from time to time.We have no way to change this communication environment, we can only try to change ourselves.Start from cultivating your own tolerance, let go of what should be let go, give in what should be retreated, and don't use your strength to compete with others.Otherwise, you fight and I fight, and the "smoke of gunpowder" rises again, which will cause more harm.

He Dun, a general of the Zhou Dynasty, was persecuted by the power minister Yu Wenhu because he was dissatisfied with the court's reward and complained. He was forced to commit suicide.Before he died, He Dun called his son He Ruobi and said, "I was framed by people for talking nonsense because I couldn't tolerate unfair treatment. You must remember this lesson." After finishing speaking, He Dun stabbed He Ruobi's tongue to bleed Come, as a warning.

At the beginning, He Ruobi could still keep in mind his father's teachings, telling himself to take a step back in everything, learn to be patient, and not talk nonsense.Later, he was rewarded for helping Yang Jian seize the Northern Zhou regime and became a general in the early Sui Dynasty.With the rise of his status, He Ruobi put his father's dying warning behind him, and began to complain full of dissatisfaction with the appointment of officials by the imperial court.Soon, He Ruobi was dismissed from his official position by the court, but he still refused to learn the lesson, and instead complained more, so he was arrested and imprisoned again.Gongqing believed that He Ruobi was too angry, so he asked Emperor Wen of Sui Dynasty to execute him, but Emperor Wen of Sui Dynasty couldn't bear to execute him because of his meritorious service, so he demoted him to the people.Although Emperor Wen of the Sui Dynasty restored his official rank a year later, he was jealous of his personality and called him three major shortcomings: jealousy, self-righteousness, and no king.Since then, he will not be reused again.Even so, He Ruobi still did not change his complaints, and offended Prince Yang Guang again.Emperor Sui Yang was furious and executed him.He Ruobi ended up in the same fate as his father.

"Slandering the government, misfortune comes from the mouth", this is the common cause of the tragic fate of the He family and his son.If they were as magnanimous as Wang Dan, would they still speak freely?
Control your mouth, it is better to control your heart.The mouth is only the spokesperson of the heart, and with a broad mind, some problems will no longer be problems.

To change yourself, first start with changing your heart. When your heart is big, things will be small.Instead of holding back whining and complaining, it is better to have no complaints in your heart.

Wisdom
Those with small magnanimity will turn small things into big ones and create all kinds of disharmony; those with large magnanimity can abandon their personal face and interests, and turn hostility into friendship.The former just lost face in order to save face, and even lost more; the latter did not count gains and losses, but won respect.

Respect for differences and be kind to others

Shangguan Wan'er is the granddaughter of Shangguanyi, an important minister in the early Tang Dynasty. She was born in a noble family, but her life was very rough.When she was 1 year old, Shangguanyi was discovered by Wu Zetian because she wrote the abolished imperial edict for Tang Gaozong Li Zhi. She was convicted of treason and died in prison.At the same time, her family was ransacked and her family was wiped out, and Shangguan Wan'er and her mother became palace servants.When Shangguan Wan'er was 14 years old, Prince Li Xian and ministers Pei Yan and King Luo Bin planned to defeat the military, and Shangguan Wan'er also participated in it to avenge her family.Later things came to light, the crown prince was deposed, Pei Yan was beheaded, King Luo Bin escaped death, Shangguan Wan'er thought she would be executed for sure, but her fate turned for the better.

Wu Zetian is a person who loves talents. Shangguan Wan'er once wrote a poem "Colourful Book Complaint", which was favored by Wu Zetian.She didn't believe that such a good poem was written by the young Shangguan Wan'er, so she asked her to compose an impromptu poem with the theme of cutting ribbon flowers.Shangguan Wan'er thought about it for a while, and then wrote: dense leaves are cut and spit out, and new flowers are cut and stretched one by one.Although it is not wrong to climb the bar, picking the pistil is not enough.The origin of the spring solstice is issued, and the autumn is not yet willing to sparse.May I ask peaches and plums, what is the desire for chaos?Wu Zetian wanted to test her courage, so he pointed to the sentence "Excuse me, how do you want to mess with each other?" and asked her if she was insinuating and scolding herself.Shangguan Wan'er said: "Your Majesty, I heard that there is no fixed interpretation of poetry, it depends on the state of mind of the interpreter. Your Majesty said that I was insinuating, and the slaves did not dare to quibble."

After Wu Zetian heard this, instead of being angry, she praised: "Good answer! I killed your grandfather and your father, and you are at odds with me. Do you hate me?" Shangguan Wan'er replied calmly: " If Your Majesty thinks it is, the servants will not dare to say no." Wu Zetian thought this answer was very good, and then praised Shangguan Wan'er's grandfather, Shangguan Yi, for his literary talents, and pointed out that the abolition of the imperial edict was against the law. Be loyal to yourself.In this way, Shangguan Wan'er stayed with Wu Zetian.

Shangguan Wan'er should have been hanged, but Wu Zetian thought she was a talent, so she ended the matter with tattooing.Wu Zetian also said: "I want to influence her with my own power. If I can't influence even a teenager, how can I influence the world?" In the end, Wu Zetian achieved these two points and became the only one in Chinese history. The orthodox queen.

Wu Zetian's style of dealing with people shows a kind of extraordinary bearing.Dare to keep the enemy by your side, how many people have there been throughout the ages?For those who oppose us, small-minded people will confront them tit for tat;If we were to "love our enemies" or even respect them, this is something most of us would never even think about. "It's enough not to have the same knowledge as them, why should we affirm them?" Ordinary people may think so.

In life, the most important thing is not how much wealth or friends you get, but what evaluation you get.This is advocated by traditional Confucianism, so all dynasties have attached great importance to the compilation of history books.Although Emperor Wu of the Han hated the historian Sima Qian for not writing himself perfectly, he still gave a certain degree of forgiveness.The emperor is often annoyed by those ministers who advise, but he will not be furious because of their well-intentioned criticism.Because all this will remain in history, they don't want to be badly judged by future generations.Ordinary as you and me, although there are no official historian records and comments, but people's words are awesome.Everyone does not exist independently in society. Our every move is always seen by our eyes, and there will always be people who gossip.That being the case, shouldn't we leave a good name?Respecting differences and being kind to others is an important way to win people's hearts.

A graduate applied for a job in a famous advertising company.He successfully passed the first round of tests and became one of the 10 finalists.The second round of testing is very simple: each finalist designs a work according to the requirements, and then displays it in public, and asks the other 9 people to rate and write comments.In this round of tests, the graduate admired the works of three of them. Although he hesitated in his heart, he still gave them high marks and wrote down his evaluation sincerely.At the end of the second round of testing, he was selected, and among the 3 people with better works, only one was selected.

After entering the company, the president's words made the graduates understand why they were selected.The president said: "The 10 shortlisted people are all very good, they are the best in their profession, but the company is more concerned about whether everyone can appreciate each other. It is understandable that a mediocre person cannot see the strengths of others, because his ability is limited. ;If someone with a high professional level like you still can't see the strengths of others, it is narrow-minded and will bring great obstacles to our team building. I am sorry for the few who were not selected, they lack appreciation Each other's hearts, and that just happens to be more important than professionalism."

Competition is the characteristic of this era, and we cannot avoid competition whether it is in our daily life or in the workplace.Appropriate competition can promote our growth.Since it is unavoidable, we should tolerate our competitors and learn from them with appreciation.If you can make up for your own shortcomings with your opponent's strengths, this is the best.

To be kind to others is to be kind to yourself.If your mind is broad enough, there is nothing in this world that cannot be tolerated.

Wisdom
We will encounter all kinds of roadblocks. If we can influence them, the resistance will be greatly reduced virtually.Please open your mind and reverse your attitude towards dissidents.

deal with other people's mistakes

According to legend, there are two strong men in the forest: a lion and a tiger.The other animals in the forest were also divided into two groups: one group followed the lion, and the other group followed the tiger.The lion and the tiger refused to give in to each other, and both wanted to dominate the forest, but the two sides were evenly matched, and there was no result in the fight.The tiger saw that the identity of the king could not be finalized, so he sent an owl to fight, agreeing that the two sides would fight in the open space by the river, and the loser would leave the forest forever.The lion agreed to the tiger's challenge.

The day of the duel has come, and the two sides have set up their battles early.In the first game, the tiger sent the black wolf to play, and the lion sent the yellow dog.The battle began, and the black wolf and the yellow dog were biting each other.The black wolf became more and more courageous in the battle, and the yellow dog gradually became overwhelmed and lost the battle.The tiger successfully won the first round. It blew its whistle triumphantly, and went back proudly to celebrate the victory for the black wolf.The yellow dog was covered in bruises and was in a panic.It came to the lion in shame and waited for punishment.But the lion said to it: "Winning or losing is a common matter in military affairs, and this is the first round. It doesn't matter, you are injured, go back and recuperate!" The yellow dog was moved to tears.

The second game started, the tiger still sent the black wolf to play, and the lion was going to send the leopard to fight.At this time, the yellow dog suddenly roared and rushed towards the black wolf, biting the black wolf's neck.Hei Lang struggled for a long time, but couldn't break free, so he had to beg for mercy and admit defeat.Seeing that the black wolf had lost, the tiger angrily led the crowd back to the camp.After returning to the camp, without waiting for the black wolf to speak, the tiger rushed over and killed it. All the animals present were petrified.The tiger said viciously: "Whoever dares to lose tomorrow, Hei Lang is an example!"

The next day, when the tiger woke up, he found that there was no one around him.It turned out that everyone saw that it was so cruel, so they went to the lion overnight.Seeing that the situation was over, the tiger left the forest helplessly.

"No gold is pure, no man is perfect", everyone will inevitably make mistakes.It is not terrible to make mistakes, what is terrible is how to deal with mistakes.Blindly complaining is one way, criticizing and accusing is one way, severely punishing is one way, and letting go of the past is also one way, which way is the best?Carnegie said: "There is no need to cry over spilled milk." Since something has happened, wasting time and energy to blame will not help, but will be emotionally resisted by others.That being the case, why not treat people leniently and say, "There is nothing good that can be corrected if there is a mistake."Only by giving others a chance to make corrections can others make up for their mistakes and the situation can ease.Tolerance is a kind of positive energy, which comes from the gratitude of those who have made mistakes.

One day in 1963, Jack Welch was sitting in his office when there was a loud noise in the factory opposite.The factory exploded, luckily no one was injured.It turned out that a chemical experiment was going on there, and it was investigated that a spark caused the explosion.Jack Welch, who was in charge of the plant, had to report to group executive Charlie Reed.

When Jack Welch finished his report nervously, Charlie Reed showed no abnormality, and said in a normal tone: "I want to know what you learned from this incident, can you still modify the reactor program?" Jack Welch didn't expect to be asked this question, and Charlie Reed didn't complain or get angry.Charlie Reed said again: "Should we continue this project? We'd better figure out this problem now, and we can't solve this problem at the end of mass production, right?" Without any criticism, Jack Welch passed this level without any risk.From then on, he worked more carefully and later became the chairman of General Electric.

"When people make a mistake, the last thing people want to accept is punishment, but encouragement and rebuild confidence." Recalling this incident, Jack Welch said that Charlie Reed's tolerance left a deep impression on him.

In many cases, the mistake is not the mistake itself, but the attitude of people towards the mistake.Treating mistakes in a negative way will add to the mistakes and cause greater losses. It is wise to actively teach people to correct their mistakes.Mistakes do not mean failure. As long as you relax your mind and treat mistakes correctly, mistakes can also generate productivity.

Wisdom
Mistakes have already been made. Instead of wasting time and increasing the pressure on those who made mistakes, it is better to take a step back, give people a chance to correct their mistakes, and give yourself a chance to be a good person.To be kind to others is to be kind to yourself.

Forgetting is sometimes a virtue

The husband put the unwashed clothes in the cabinet and forgot to take them out. Sun Jing complained when she found out: "Look at you, put the clothes you took off and hide them in the cabinet. I can't wash them because I can't see them. After a long time, they will be washed." It’s not easy to wash, and it will stain other clothes in the cabinet.” Husband said: “If you take it out to wash now, it’s over.” Sun Jing was a little unhappy, and said: “I’m reminding you. Just follow up Like last time, you put your stinky socks in the closet for several days, making it smell bad, and you haven’t learned your lesson this time.” The husband was originally smiling, but now he was a little angry, and said: “Okay! Good! I know I was wrong, so I must keep it in mind this time, okay?" Sun Jing saw that her husband's attitude showed signs of coping, so she couldn't help but add another sentence: "Don't just talk about it, it's already wrong More than once!" Husband was a little dissatisfied: "Then what do you think I should do?" Now Sun Jing said somewhat: "You still don't admit it! You forgot, the problem of toilet leaking last time, if it wasn't for me every day Urging you to fix it, I don’t know how much water leaked that month! And the door of the bedroom is broken..." "Aren't you finished? Didn't you just forget to take out the clothes in the cabinet for you to wash? Bigger This little thing made me commit a heinous crime!" the husband said impatiently.As soon as Sun Jing heard it, she shouted again: "Hey! I don't like to hear a few words from you, and I can't do anything well!" Don't marry!" As soon as these words came out, one could imagine Sun Jing's reaction next.The couple had a fierce exchange of words, exposing each other's embarrassing things, and finally the two broke up unhappy.

It is normal for couples to quarrel. What is abnormal is that some people have to pour out the previous things every time they quarrel, and go over the old accounts again.Everyone was already in a bad mood, so the conflict escalated step by step.What was originally a trivial matter turned into a merciless war between the two sides that exposed each other's scars in the end.

Time is a very magical thing, it can change the original appearance of some things.So when parting, people always like to say "please remember my good places and forget the unpleasant things I brought you", because people know that good places will become warmer after years of baptism, and unpleasant places will pass by. The precipitation of time has become beyond recognition.

It can be seen that in people's eyes, forgetting is not a process of passive disappearance of memory, but a process of actively choosing to ignore.Maybe the memory still exists, but open-minded people are willing to ignore it, and those who can't let go are willing to keep it.

(End of this chapter)