Scene language skills that college students must know

Chapter 35 Scene 35 - When Exploring Sensitive Issues
Chapter 35 Scene 35 - When Exploring Sensitive Issues
In daily life, when we encounter some sensitive issues, we often want to know what the people related to this issue think about it,
However, because of the sensitivity of the question itself, it is inconvenient for us to directly ask the other party's views on a certain issue, which requires us to take a roundabout approach.
Tactics, inquire from the outside, and use ingenious communication language to find out the real situation and true attitude of the other party. "Know the enemy

"After that, we can play by ear and act according to the situation. There are two situations in the temptation. One is that we cannot let the other party perceive our true feelings.

The second is to tell the other party our intentions tactfully.Therefore, how to test others and achieve the desired effect also has a lot to do.
Many techniques and methods. ?
([-]) Use compliments to test?
Everyone likes to be praised and flattered.People will have all kinds of self-satisfaction psychology when they are praised.And this psychological expansion is

It will disturb people's rationality, make people paralyzed, and relax their guard against others.In response to this general psychological characteristic of people, there are

experimental
The tempter often praises the other party first, arouses the vanity of the other party, draws the relationship closer, and makes them relax or even dispel their guard against us.

With a little inducement on this basis, the other party is likely to tell something that he is unlikely to reveal in a waking state, so as to reach my goal.
their probing purpose. ?
The chief eunuch An Dehai, who was deeply favored by the Empress Dowager Cixi, went out to Beijing to play in the name of going south to buy dragon clothes.Tongzhi emperor's security of dictatorship
Dehai was dissatisfied for a long time, so he secretly ordered Shandong Governor Ding Baozhen to hunt him down.When An Dehai traveled to Tai'an, he was lured to Jinan by the governor.

Fu Tai Yuanmen.In order to ascertain whether he held the passport issued by the Queen Mother Yizhi or the Ministry of War, the governor specially sent a man named An
Inquire before the case.An Wenbing pretended that he had never seen the world, and said to An Dehai with admiration: "An Qin, you are ordered to go south this time, there must be
Empress Dowager Yizhi.I have been on the job for so many years, and I haven't seen it yet, can you open my eyes to the little one? "An Dehai nonsense said: "I came here last night.
I was in a hurry, didn't bring it, and stayed in Tai'an. "An Wenbing followed closely: "I heard that the servants never leave the envoy, how could they stay in the

Tai'an?Maybe it's because An Qin doesn't trust his younger brother? "An Dehai was helpless when he was questioned, relying on the support of the Queen Mother, he said arrogantly
Tell the truth: "To tell you the truth, I, An, is a close minister of the Empress Dowager. I have been ordered to go south to handle affairs, so I don't need to issue an imperial edict."

An Wenbing deliberately flattered and agreed: "Of course, of course. Just based on Mr. An's dignity, it can be seen that he is an emperor's messenger. There is no need to take
What Yizhi! In this way, An Wenbing found out the truth of what he wanted to know from An Dehai's mouth, and assisted Ding Baozhen
hunt it down. ?
In the above story, the clever An Wenbing grasped An Dehai's always arrogant and indulgent psychology, first expressed his admiration to him, and then persuaded him.

Encouraging him to take out the handbook to "open the little one's eyes", An Dehai became arrogant, relaxed his guard against An Wen's case, and even said
He exposed the truth that he had nothing to rely on, and caused himself to be killed.

([-]) To test with extraneous voices?
Due to the seriousness of some important topics, many more sensitive issues are often inconvenient to be discussed on the table.for

To avoid such sensitive issues from hurting both parties, smart communicators often put their own attitudes on issues in small talk outside the topic

Among them, imply that the other party makes a judgment or choice on this topic, and then judge his attitude towards the topic by understanding the other party's attitude towards the off-topic
attitude. ?
In August 1959, Mao Zedong met with the American Du Bois couple at East Lake in Wuchang.Mao Zedong said: "I also feel old,
But I still have energy, and I can still swim the Yangtze River every year, and I have swum in other rivers in China.If you have no objection, I
I want to swim in the Mississippi River, but I guess Mr. Dulles, Nixon, Eisenhower, etc. may object. "?
Du Bois replied, "On the contrary, these three probably want to see you swimming in the Mississippi River, especially near the mouth of the river.
tour. "?
Mao Zedong said lightly: "Really? If so, I will set off in a few days. Even if I am a tourist,
Not talking about any political issues, just swimming in the Mississippi River.If Eisenhower allowed it, I'd like to see him play high

As for golf, maybe I'll visit Mr. Dulles in the hospital again. "?
Mao Zedong's words became the earliest sign of the normalization of Sino-US relations in 1972. ?
In the 50s, it was a period of hostility between China and the United States. Naturally, the plan of the two governments to restore normal relations is a very sensitive topic.

This issue involves the attitudes of both China and the United States.In order to avoid direct confrontation on this sensitive issue, Mao Zedong made an impromptu trip to Mississippi

On the topic of swimming in the Bihe, he tactfully put his friendly attitude towards the United States in it, so as to test Du Bois's reaction.Du
Beuys understood it, and also put the US's attitude towards Sino-US relations in the chat, and the two politicians went beyond the topic.
The gossip revealed the attitudes of the two governments. ?
([-]) Use analogy to test?
When dealing with others, we often hesitate to say something directly because of some requirements due to various reasons, and we often hesitate until the time comes.
In the end, I couldn't speak clearly, which delayed many important events.If our brains are more active, such a small

The best skill: Before telling your own plan, first tell the other party about the similar practices that others have done, and test the other party's feelings about it.
Hold an attitude, and then according to the other party's affirmative or negative attitude, we can know how to speak and do things. ?
An employee intends to transfer from a company to climb another branch, but is worried that if the company leader disagrees with him, it will leave a bad impression on others.

The bad impression of being at ease with one's job is not conducive to future work, and the company has favored me by sending me to higher education

After two years of advanced study in the government, how can I speak this way?After careful consideration, he took advantage of a small talk to propose to the manager
This question: "Manager Wang, some young workers in our unit want to move their homes, do you think it's okay?"

This is a natural law, and I am in favor of the reasonable flow of talents. "this
See you at the staff
The manager's attitude was pertinent, so he extended a step and said: "What if this person is me?" The manager thought for a while and said, "That's not going to stop

, As long as there is a place to ask, you can also be high. "Through such a conversation, the employee saw the manager's open-mindedness,

Not long after, he formally wrote a transfer application to the company leaders, and the matter was completed immediately.
([-]) Use conventions to test?

Do not directly ask the other party's attitude towards a specific practice, but first quote a common saying or story to test their general attitude towards a certain type of behavior.

from which one learns about the attitude the other party may adopt on a particular issue. ?
For example, we can quote a common saying or tell a story, and ask the other party to evaluate the truth contained in it, so as to find out the meaning of the opposite party.

Party's general view on a certain type of practice. ?
Liu Huang, the sister of Liu Xiu, Emperor Guangwu of the Eastern Han Dynasty, had just lost her husband, and she was depressed and very sad.Liu Xiu was worried that her sister would be in bad health

, intending to choose a good husband among the ministers to match up for her sister. ?
Liu Xiu's sister took a fancy to a minister named Song Hong.One day, Liu Xiu summoned Song Hong.He bent down and said to Song Hong:
"As the saying goes
:'The rich are easy to pay, and the expensive is easy to marry. 'When a person is rich, he needs to change a new group of friends;

Wife, this is human nature! "?
Song Hong said solemnly: "I heard that 'friends who are poor and humble should not be forgotten, and wives who are poor will not go to court.' It means that friends when poor and humble are forever
It must not be forgotten that the wives of the poor and lowly CCP who are suffering can never be separated. "?
After hearing this, Liu Xiu praised Song Hong, regretted it very much, and never wanted to make decisions on him again. ?
The emperor's sister fell in love with a minister with a family, which naturally made the emperor feel embarrassed.If you ask directly, and if the other party gives
If you refuse, you will lose face.Therefore, Liu Xiu adopted the method of quoting common sayings first, and learned of Song Hong's opinions on marriage issues.
From his opinion, he inferred that he would definitely not agree to his sister's request, so he stopped asking. ?
([-]) Virtual situation?

If you want to find out what the other person thinks of you, but it is inconvenient to directly export it, it is more appropriate to use the virtual situation test method at this time.Place
The so-called "virtual situation" can be told stories, for example, or expressed in other forms such as poems, couplets, and jokes.

. ?
Candidates for imperial examinations in the Tang Dynasty often had the custom of submitting papers to celebrities, that is, going through the back door-asking celebrities to introduce themselves to the host.

The servant of the Ministry of Rites who holds the exam.

Zhang Ji, a member of the Ministry of Water, is not only a famous poet, but also enthusiastic about promoting future generations.The young poet Zhu Qingyu has spotted him and wants to
He recommended it, but he didn't have the cheek to insist on it, so he wrote a poem to find out the truth.The poem reads like this: ?

Last night, the red candles were stopped in the bridal chamber, waiting for the Xiaotang to visit my uncle and aunt. ?
After putting on makeup, he asked his husband and son-in-law in a low voice: Is the thrush in season? ?

He compared himself to a newly married daughter-in-law, Zhang Ji to the groom, and the imminent exam to the new daughter-in-law going to see her in-laws.myself this
The future honor and disgrace of a new daughter-in-law depends on whether her parents-in-law love her at first glance. Can she not be nervous, so he has to ask "my own love?"
"Groom" "thrush eyebrow depth", how do you dress up, okay??

Zhang Ji knew what Zhu Qingyu meant at a glance. He had known that Zhu Qingyu was a talented man, so he immediately replied with a poem and answered clearly:?
The Yue girl's new makeup appeared on the mirror, knowing that she is bright and beautiful, she is even more pondering. ?
When Qi Wan is not enough, people are precious, and a Ling song can defeat ten thousand gold. ?

Zhang Ji compared Zhu Qingyu to Cailing girl, who is beautiful and good at singing. Although the clothes are not luxurious, she has her own unique advantages and is popular

People love it.That said, rest assured that the exam is not a big problem. ?
Zhu Qingyu wanted to ask Zhang Ji for recommendation, but he was too embarrassed to ask directly, so he wrote a poem to Zhang Ji, comparing himself to a man who is about to meet someone.
The new daughter-in-law of her parents-in-law was nervously asking Zhang Ji, the "husband-in-law", how she was doing with her make-up.this fictitious

The setting of the environment just hints at Zhu Qingyu's current situation and mentality.Therefore, it is easy to be understood by Zhang Ji, who quickly responded with the same

Way to Zhu made a reply.

(End of this chapter)