wisdom of life

Chapter 7 The Appearances Man Shows (1)
Our appearance—that is, what our being looks like to others—is usually given too much weight by us, and this is a peculiar weakness of our human nature, although a little reflection shows us that, What other people think of us is not, in itself, crucial to our happiness.It is difficult, therefore, to explain why a man's heart is pleased, and his vanity is somewhat soothed, whenever he sees himself seeming to leave another a favorable comment.A cat will purr when it is petted.Similarly, when a person is praised by others, he can't help but beam with joy.As long as a certain kind of praise is within the bounds of one's expectations, he will be pleased even if the praise of others is obviously false.Such persons are comforted by the approbation of others, in spite of real misfortune, or even if the two chief sources of happiness, which have been discussed above, are rather poor and depleted.It is astonishing that, in any case, if their ambition to be well received by others is frustrated in any sense and degree, or when they are slighted, disrespected, or slighted by others, they will definitely feel sad and heartbroken. , and often feel deep trauma.So long as honor is based on this particular humanity, it is a substitute for morality and is effective in motivating many people to good behavior.But with regard to man's own happiness, and especially with regard to peace of mind and independence, which are closely related to happiness, this sense of honor has more disturbing and harmful effects than beneficial effects.Therefore, from the point of view of promoting happiness, we should restrain this human weakness; we should carefully consider and properly evaluate its true value, and minimize our sensitivity to the opinions of others, whether we are caressed or hurt by them. Both should be, since the two hang from the same thread.Otherwise, people can only be slaves to the opinions and opinions of others:

Words that mollify or cheer a man thirsting for praise,

But how insignificant!
— Horace

Appreciating our own worth and seeing what others think of us goes a long way toward our happiness.This said self itself includes all that is included in the time of our existence, the inner components of our existence, and the various benefits that we have discussed in the two chapters "Man's Self" and "Man's Possessions" .All of these work in our minds; while others' opinions of us only have an effect in other people's minds. It is an appearance that is presented in other people's minds with various conceptual things [1].It is true, then, that the opinions of others do not exist directly for us, but only indirectly—so long as their behavior toward us is not influenced and governed by them.Other people's opinions are worth considering only if they have an effect on something so that we ourselves are affected by it.Other than that, what happens in other people's minds is not important to us.And, when we finally clearly understand that in the minds of most people, there are superficial thoughts and petty ideas; these people have narrow vision and low sentiment; After this, we will gradually be indifferent to other people's comments.Moreover, we know from our own experience that once a man has no fear of others, or when he believes that what he says will not reach the ears of the person to whom he is said, he speaks from time to time of others in a contemptuous manner.We are much less troubled by the opinions of others, if only we hear how a gang of fools speak with contempt of the most eminent and great men.We also learn that when we place too much weight on other people's opinions, we are flattering them.

In any case, if a person does not derive happiness from the first two items of inner and outer wealth that I have already discussed, but only finds happiness in this third benefit, that is to say, he does not derive happiness from his true self. He is rather unfortunate if he derives his gratification and pleasure from his own representation of himself in the minds of others, instead of his own self.For in the final analysis the basis of our existence, and therefore of our happiness, is our animal nature.Health, therefore, is of the first importance to our comfort, and the next means of subsistence, that is, income without labor.Honor, position, fame--although these are considered by many to be of great value--are not equal to, or superseding, the crucial benefits; and when necessary, we should unquestionably give up the benefits of the first two This third benefit.For this reason, it would do much to increase our happiness to recognize the following simple truth: that every human being is and does inhabit first and foremost his own skin, and not in the opinions of others; therefore, we The actual personal situation--which is decisively influenced by factors such as health, temperament, abilities, income, women, children, friends, place of residence, etc.--is a hundred times more important for our happiness than what other people do to us. the opinion of.Misconceptions to the contrary can only cause us misfortune.If someone cries out that "reputation is higher than life", it is tantamount to saying that "human survival and comfort are of little importance, and what others think of us is the first problem".This is by any means an exaggeration, based on the simple truth that reputation—that is, how we are perceived by others—is often absolutely necessary to us in order to survive in this world.I will come back to discuss this further.But we have seen that almost all people struggle all their lives, go through all kinds of difficulties and dangers, and the ultimate goal is to make others look at themselves with admiration.People desperately pursue official positions, titles, medals, and wealth, and their primary purpose is to gain greater respect from others. Even people mastering science and art are fundamentally for the same purpose.All this but regrettably shows us the extent of human stupidity.Taking other people's opinions and opinions too seriously is a common mistake people make.This error may be rooted in our nature; or it may be accompanied by the steps of society and civilization.Either way, this mistake has a disproportionate impact on our behavior and career and damages our well-being.Specific examples abound: from the terrified, slavish "what will others say?" to the extreme case of the ancient Roman tribune Virginis stabbing her daughter in the heart.There are also some people who do not hesitate to sacrifice personal wealth, peace, health, and even life for the honor behind them.This error provides a convenient means for those who want to rule or dominate people.Therefore, among the various methods of training people, the practice of strengthening and cultivating the sense of honor occupies the first place.But for our happiness - which is our purpose - the sense of honor is quite another matter.I would instead caution people not to place too much weight on what other people think of them.But everyday experience tells us that most people still regard other people's opinions of themselves as the most important thing, and they pay more attention to other people's opinions than to those things that are active in their own consciousness and are therefore more directly related to themselves.In this way they turn the order of nature upside down, so that what others see is the reality of their existence, while the content of their own consciousness becomes an ideal part of their own existence; they regard derivative and secondary things as First things first.The image they have in other people's minds concerns them more than their own real existence.This folly of valuing as immediate what is not directly for us is called vanity, to signify the illusory and empty nature of this longing, this endeavor.Also, from the above discussion, it can be easily seen that this kind of vanity forgets the end for the sake of means, and it belongs to the same nature as greed.

In fact, our preoccupation with the opinions of others, and our apprehension in this regard, generally exceeds any reasonable degree, and we may even regard this as a common, or rather, A kind of madness that comes with it.No matter what we do, or don't do, our first consideration is almost the opinion of others.As long as we look carefully, we can see that more than half of the worries and fears we experience come from this kind of worry.It is the basis of our easily wounded ego--because of its morbid sensitivity--and all vanity, pomp, ostentation, pomp.Nine times out of ten the extravagance and ostentation disappear as soon as you stop worrying about and depending on what other people think.All kinds of honor and pride, although different in content and scope, are all based on the opinions of others.What sacrifices have been made for this!In childhood, the sense of honor is first revealed; in the following youth and middle age, fame, pride, etc. become more obvious; The capacity for sensual pleasures has been greatly diminished, and vanity and arrogance join with greed to divide the reigns.Vanity is most pronounced in the French, for it has a certain local color and usually degenerates into outrageous ambition, ridiculous national vanity, and shameless boasting.But such an approach made one's own efforts in vain, and the French became the laughing stock of other nations, and gained the nickname "Great Nation".I have here one striking example that particularly illustrates the perverse nature of the act of paying attention to the opinions of others.Here, the combination of the appropriate character and the situation is a wonderful example of this rooted in human folly, because it allows us to gauge the strength of the motives for such strangely odd actions.The following passage is taken from a report in The Times of March 1846, 3, on the execution of Thomas Weiss.Thomas Weiss is a handicraft apprentice who avenges the murder of his master. "On the morning of the execution, the prison chaplain came to the prisoner early to serve him. Weiss behaved quietly, and for the pastor's advice Not the slightest interest. On the contrary, the only thing on his mind was to be able to take courage and show courage in front of the crowd who saw him end his shameful life. He managed to do this. Walking in Wes As he walked across the compound to the gallows that had been erected in the prison, he spoke aloud - so that those around him could hear: 'Ah! As Dr. Dodd said, I shall soon know that A great secret!' At that time, he was bound with his arms, but he stepped up the ladder of the gallows without the help of others. After walking up the ladder, he bowed to the onlookers to the left and right. Gathered in The crowd below immediately responded with thunderous applause for the move."This is really a wonderful example: a person can already see the horrible death, and after this body, there will be the endless eternity.But at this moment, he didn't care about anything else, but only wanted to make a good impression on the rabble who joined in the fun!In France that same year, a count was sentenced to death for trying to murder the king.During the trial, he worried about being able to appear in the senate properly dressed.When it came time for the execution, he fretted over whether he would be allowed to shave.In the past, the situation was no different, as we can refer to the introduction to his famous novel "Guzmán de Alfaraci" written by Madio Aleman [31].The introduction to this book tells us that many lost criminals spend their last hours, which should be devoted entirely to saving their souls, writing and memorizing a short speech - which they intend to read from the top of the gallows ladder. this speech.In these particular examples we can see our own shadow, because extreme examples often illustrate things most clearly.In most cases, our worries, annoyances, worries, anger, and fears are really related to what other people think of us.All of this is as absurd as the actions of those poor sinners above.Much of our jealousy and hatred also spring from the same source.

Clearly, there is no better way to promote our happiness—which depends largely on our peace and contentment—than to limit and dampen this human impulse.We want to limit this impulse to a reasonable and justifiable level-perhaps only one-fiftieth of the current level.If we can do this, we will also pluck this eternally painful thorn out of our flesh.But it is very difficult to do this: because it has something to do with our natural, inherent abnormal nature. "Fame is the last thing that the wise give up" - Tacitus [3] said ("History" No. 4, 6).The only way to prevent this common folly is to recognize its folly.For this purpose, we must be clear: Most of the cognitions and opinions in people's minds are false, absurd, and black and white.Therefore, these insights are not worthy of our attention in themselves.Also, in most cases, other people's opinions don't really matter to us.Furthermore, other people's opinions are generally not pleasant to listen to. If anyone hears what others say about him behind his back, and the tone of his speech, almost everyone will be very angry.Finally, we need to know that even the value of reputation itself is only indirect and not direct.When we finally succeed in getting rid of this common folly, our inner peace and joy increase unbelievably.Likewise, our demeanor and attitude become more confident, down-to-earth, more authentic and natural.The chief reason why solitude has a particularly favorable effect on our peace of mind is that we do not live in the sight of others.In this way, we don't have to worry about what others think of us all the time, and we can restore our true selves.In the same way, we can escape a great deal of real misfortune; for the pursuit of purely ideal things—or rather, other people's hopelessly stupid ideas—leads us into misfortune.We'll pay more attention to the tangible benefits we have and enjoy them undisturbed.But, as the Greek saying goes: "What is noble is unattainable."

The stupidity I'm talking about here stems from three main shoots: competitiveness, vanity, and pride.The difference between vanity and pride is that pride is the belief that one has some aspect of outstanding value, but vanity is the effort to convince others that one has some aspect of outstanding value.Along with vanity, in most cases, is the hidden hope that by arousing the certainty of others, we can actually have it in ourselves.Pride, therefore, is an inward, direct self-respect; vanity is an outward, and therefore indirect, effort to acquire this self-respect.Therefore, vanity makes a man talkative, but pride makes a man silent.But the vain man should know that it is easier for him to get the high opinion of others that he dreams of, if he keeps silent instead of talking—even if the most beautiful and beautiful words can come out of his mouth—he will be more easy to get along with achieve the goal with greater certainty.Not anyone who wants to be proud can become proud, at most he can only pretend to be proud.However, he would soon reveal himself, just as anyone playing a false role would soon reveal himself.Because only those who have an inner, firm and unshakable confidence in their outstanding strengths and extraordinary value can be truly proud.His conviction may be false, or it may be based on some external and general merit, but this is of no importance to his pride, if it is true, indeed, to exist.Just as pride is rooted in certainty, pride, like all knowledge, does not exist in our discretion.The great enemy of pride—I mean its greatest hindrance—is vanity.Vanity is about gaining the approval of others in order to build a good opinion of yourself on this basis, but having a solid good opinion of yourself is already a prerequisite for pride.

Pride is generally attacked and vilified by people, and I suspect that the vilification and vilification comes primarily from those who have nothing to be proud of.Faced with the shamelessness, arrogance and ignorance of most people, no matter which person, as long as he has a certain advantage, he must keep his own advantage in mind and don't forget it.For if we benevolently ignore our own merits, and share in the misconception that we are the same as others in our dealings with others, then others will openly and frankly identify us as such.I recommend the above remarks especially to those who possess superlative merits, that is to say, real and personal merits, because these merits do not act upon the senses moment by moment, like medals and titles. , so that people can remember it.Otherwise, "the stupid pig in turn teaches the goddess of wisdom" (Cicero) will be played out alive. "Trick a slave, and the slave will disdain you"—that's a great Arabic proverb.And, do not reject this saying of Horace: "You must force yourself to take pride where it is due." Modesty is a virtue—this saying is a clever invention of a fool; Telling yourself like a fool subtly brings everyone on the same level.The result of this is that in this world, it seems that there are no other people except fools.

The cheapest form of pride is national pride.A man tainted with national pride betrays the fact that the man lacks personal qualities of which he can be proud.Had this not been the case, he would not have seized upon those things which he shares with millions of others.People with outstanding personal qualities will see the shortcomings of their own nation more clearly, because these shortcomings are always in front of their eyes, but every poor fool has nothing in this world that he can be proud of. There is only one last resort: be proud of the nation to which you belong.For this he was compensated.Therefore, he is full of gratitude, and is ready to defend all the shortcomings and stupidities unique to his nation with "teeth and nails".The fact that the Germans have no national pride is a testament to their admirable honesty.But those among them who ludicrously pretend to be proud of the German nation are not honest - this is mainly the work of the "German brothers" and the Democrats.They flatter the German people in order to lead them astray.They even say that the Germans invented gunpowder; I don't agree with that.Lichtenberg [4] raised such a question: "Why don't many people pretend to be Germans? If a person wants to improve his status, he would generally prefer to pretend to be French or British. Why?" In addition, A person's unique personality is far superior to national character, and a person's unique personality should be valued a thousand times more than national character.Since nationalism concerns the masses, there is, frankly, little to say about it.In every country narrowness, perversity, and baseness are expressed in some form, which is called national character.Disgusted with the national character of one people, we turn to that of another until we are disgusted with it as well.Every nation makes fun of every other nation, and their ridicule is right.

The topic we have been dealing with in this chapter - how we appear in the world, that is, to others - can be divided, as has been said above, into reputation, position, and reputation.

In the eyes of the public and the Philistines, status and titles are very important; they play a huge role in the operation of the state machine.But for our purpose of increasing happiness, a few words will bring them to an end.The value of status is conventional, that is to say, false; its function is to gain the false respect of others, and it is nothing but a farce for the masses.A medal is a bill of exchange, which extracts popular opinion; its value is determined by the credit of the issuer of the bill.In addition to replacing monetary rewards and saving a lot of financial expenditure for the country, the awarding of medals is also a very practical and appropriate arrangement—the premise is that the awarding of medals must be done fairly and selectively.The masses have nothing but eyes and ears.They especially lack judgment and have a poor memory.Many achievements and contributions made by people are completely beyond their comprehension, and some achievements and contributions will be understood and applauded by them in the moment, but they will forget them soon after the time passes.I think this method is very appropriate, that is: through the cross or star medals, we should always shout to the public, "The people who wear these medals are different from you. They have made contributions and achievements!" Medals are awarded indiscriminately and thoughtlessly, and the medals lose their value.Therefore, the awarding of medals should be done with the same care and delicacy as a merchant signing a bill of exchange.The "Pour le mérite" [5] engraved on the Cross is a superfluous sentence.It goes without saying that every medal should be for merit.

Discussing reputation is much more complex and difficult than discussing status and titles.First, we need to define reputation.To this end, it may perhaps suffice to many if I say: Fame is an external conscience, and conscience an inward renown.But this explanation is more flowery and fancy than clear and thorough.Therefore, I think that, objectively, reputation is the perception of our worth by others; subjectively, it is our scruples about the perception of others.Because of this subjective quality of reputation, it often has some beneficial, though never purely moral, influence on those who care about it.

As long as a person is not completely depraved, he will have a sense of honor and a sense of shame, and he will cherish the former.The roots of the sense of honor and shame are as follows.There are very few things a single person can do. He is just a Robinson Crusoe abandoned on a desert island.He can only be useful if he lives in a group with other people.Only after the human consciousness has been developed can he realize his own situation.Once so, he will have the desire to be seen as a useful member of human society, a man capable of fulfilling his manly role, and thus entitled to share in the benefits that society brings.To be such a man, he must first do what every human being needs to do well; and second, he needs to do what is expected and expected of him in his unique position.But again, he soon realized that the question was not so much whether he considered himself a useful person but whether others thought so.From this comes his eager desire to have other people's good opinion of him, and his incomparable value for other people's opinions.Both arise from this inner feeling in man--what one calls "honour," or "shame," as the case may be.When a person knows that he is about to lose the good opinion of others, although he knows that he is innocent, or that the fault he has committed is not serious, but he still blushes, this is the result of a sense of honor or shame.On the other hand, nothing strengthens a man's courage in life so much as the certainty of the favorable opinion of others, which promises him that all will unite to protect and help him, by means of which he is stronger than himself. With more walls of protection, he can stand against the disasters and hardships of life.

There are all kinds of relationships between people, and a person must gain the trust of others in this multi-faceted relationship, that is, to get others' good opinion of him.From this came various reputations.The relationship between people is first of all the relationship between you and me, followed by the fulfillment of promises, and finally the relationship between men and women.Corresponding to these relations are the honor of citizens, the honor of government officials, the honor of men and the honor of women.Each reputation can be further divided into finer items.

Citizenship, covering the widest range, is based on the premise that we must unconditionally respect the rights of every human being, so that we may not pursue our own interests by means that are unjust and unlawful.This is the condition for harmonious communication between people.As soon as we commit an act that clearly violates the above premise, and suffer punishment for it-provided, of course, that the punishment must be fair-civic reputation is gone.Reputation rests, after all, on the certainty that a man's moral character is invariable; so that a single bad act is a sure sign that, should the same situation be repeated, the man's future conduct will be the same. with the same moral substance.This can be proved by the word character in English. The word character also means reputation and fame.Therefore, once a reputation is lost, it cannot be regained, unless it is lost by some misunderstanding, for example, by someone else's slander or by judgments made on the basis of illusions.It is precisely because of this that there are laws against slander, insult, and anonymous defamation of articles, because insulting abuse is a kind of sloppy slander, and it has no basis for statement.The meaning is well expressed in this Greek phrase: "Abusiveness is casual and hasty slander" [6] - that is, the content of the abuse is nothing.Of course, the man who abuses another shows that he cannot point out the real and actual faults of the abused; otherwise, he would substitute these as antecedents, and leave the conclusions to his hearers with confidence.But he doesn't do that.He offers a conclusion, but not the premises.He could only pretend that it was done for convenience.It is true that the "citizen" in the civic honor is also the "middle class" [7], but this honor applies to all social classes, even the highest class, without exception.No one can give up this reputation.Citizenship is serious business, and no one should take it lightly.No matter who a person is or what his occupation is, as long as he destroys sincerity and trust, he will lose sincerity and trust forever, and the resulting bitterness must be inevitable.

In a sense, reputation has a negative character, whereas reputation has a positive character, compared with prestige.For reputation does not mean that others think that so-and-so has some special quality that is unique to his subject;So the reputation just goes to show that this one is not an exception.But reputation suggests that this man is an exception.Prestige is something to be fought for, whereas reputation is just something to keep.According to this, lack of popularity is obscurity, which is negative; but lack of fame is disgrace, which is positive.We must not confuse the negative nature of reputation with its passive nature.On the contrary, reputation has a completely active feature; it only starts from the person himself and is based on the behavior of the subject, rather than being determined by other people's actions and external encounters. The so-called "things that depend on us".This, as we shall shortly see, is the distinguishing mark between true honor and knightly or false honor.Attacks on reputation from the outside are possible only through slander and insult.The only response to this attack is to make the slander public, to make the detractor public.

The esteem of the old seems to be based on the fact that the young have a pre-existing reputation, but that reputation has not yet been tested; their reputation is therefore a credit.But for older people, during their lifetime they have proved by their actions that they still have a reputation.Neither age nor experience alone is sufficient reason for requiring the young to pay homage to the old, for animals too can reach a certain age, and even some animals live far longer than man; and experience It's just a deeper understanding of the development of the world.But all over the world, young people are asked to show respect to older people.The debilitating effects of advanced age demand more care and consideration than respect for the elderly.But it's worth noting that people have an innate, and therefore indeed instinctive, respect for gray hair.Wrinkles are a more definite sign of old age, but they are not at all reverent.People don't speak of a respectable wrinkle, they always speak of a respectable gray hair.

The value of reputation is only indirect; for, as already discussed at the beginning of this chapter, it is only when what others think of us decisively influences their behavior toward us - or only sometimes - that other people's opinions of us have value.But as long as we live with other people, what they think of us affects how they behave toward us.In a civilized country we depend on society for our property and safety, and we need the help of others in everything we do; and others deal with us only when they have confidence in us.So, what others think of us has a higher value, though this value is always indirect rather than direct.I cannot assume that other people's opinions have immediate value.Cicero's statement coincides with what I have said here, when he said: "Chrispus and Diogenes said of a good reputation: a good reputation has its practical uses; apart from these advantages, we It is not worth the slightest effort to acquire a good name. I agree with them." Again, Helvetius [8] discusses this truth at length in his great work "On the Spirit", and he concludes that : "We love the respect of others not because of the respect itself, but only because of the benefits that people's respect brings to us." Since the means are not more important than the ends, then the "reputation is more precious than life" has been exaggerated by people. An adage is, as I have already said, an exaggeration.

This is all I have said about civic honor.Public reputation is the general perception that a person who holds public office has truly possessed the qualities required, and that he discharges his duties as a public servant scrupulously under all circumstances.The more important a person plays in state affairs, that is, the higher his position, the greater the influence he produces, and the higher the public's requirements for his intellectual quality and moral quality corresponding to his position.Therefore, an official has a higher level of honor, and what shows him this honor is his title, medal, and the respectful attitude of others to him.By the same standard, a person's social status also determines the corresponding special class of honor, although the public has problems in judging the importance of social status.Because of this, status is discounted in terms of showing honor.But people have always given higher honor to those who have assumed and performed extraordinary responsibilities, than to ordinary citizens.The reputation of the latter is chiefly based on those negative qualities which constitute it.

The honor of public office further requires those who hold public duties to maintain respect for the position they hold.This is out of consideration for his colleagues and his successor.To do this, he must strictly perform his duties.Beyond that, he cannot be indifferent to all attacks on him personally or on the office he holds; .Instead, he must use legal means to prove the attacks were unjust.

People with public honor also include those who have served the country, doctors, public school teachers, and even public school graduates, that is, everyone who has been officially declared qualified to engage in a certain spiritual and ideological work and has voluntarily committed himself to it. for such work.In a word, all such persons who serve the public also enjoy the honor of public officials.True military honors also belong to the class of public honors, based on the fact that every man who volunteers to defend his country actually possesses the requisite qualities of courage, strength, and fortitude; and that he is prepared to defend his country to the death , will not abandon the flag that has sworn allegiance for anything in this world.I have here taken the term public honor in a much broader sense than the conventional sense; the conventional meaning of public honor is nothing but the respect that citizens have for public office in general.

As for the honor of sex, it seems to me that we need to examine more carefully, and to search for the origin of its principles.This will also prove that all kinds of honors are after all based on considerations of practical interest.In essence, gender reputation can be divided into female reputation and male reputation; and, from the perspective of both men and women, this kind of reputation can be completely understood as "team spirit".But a woman's reputation is far more important than a man's, because the relationship a woman builds with the opposite sex is of the utmost importance in a woman's life.Feminine honor is thus the recognition that, as an unmarried girl, she has never given herself to a man; but as a wife, she has given herself only to her husband.The importance of such recognition is determined by the following reasoning.A woman demands and expects everything she needs and desires from a man.The male demands only one thing primarily and directly from the female.Therefore, the two parties must make such an arrangement: the man can get what he wants from the woman, but the condition is that he must take care of all the tasks of the woman and the children born of the combination of the two parties.The well-being of all women depends on this arrangement.For this arrangement to work, it was necessary for the women to band together and show "teamwork".Thus the females form a whole, united against their common enemy, the male, who, by virtue of his natural superior powers of body and mind, possesses all the advantages of the world.Women must subjugate them and capture them; only by possessing them can women appropriate those earthly benefits.To this end, the motto of female honor is: Never have sex with a man outside of marriage.Only in this way can men be forced into marriage - a form of their surrender; only through this can women be secured.But this goal can only be perfectly achieved through the strict implementation of the above-mentioned admonishment regulations.So, in a true team spirit, all the women watch closely to see if the other female members abide by this precept.Therefore, every girl who betrays all women by having sex outside of marriage is ostracized, cast out, and stigmatized by her fellow-sex; well-being would be compromised.The woman thus lost her reputation.Women could no longer associate with her, people shunned her like a man who stinks.The same fate befell a woman who committed adultery with a man because, as far as her husband was concerned, she had not kept the contract of surrender she had signed with him.Because of such things, men will be afraid to sign such a contract again.The salvation of women depends entirely on the signing of contracts by men.Besides, the adulterous woman loses her civic honor as well as her feminine honor, because of her violent breach of her promise, and the element of deceit in her practice.So people have this pardonable saying, "a girl who has fallen," but not "a woman who has fallen."In the former case, the seducer can restore the innocence of the girl by marrying her; body.After gaining this clear insight, we see that the cornerstone of the female honor principle is a wholesome and necessary, yet carefully calculated, community spirit based on practical interests.Thus we can see the immense importance of this feminine honor for the existence of women.This reputation, therefore, has a great relative value, but it is not absolute; it is not a value which transcends life and its purpose, and therefore can only be acquired at the cost of life.Therefore, we cannot applaud the exaggerated and tragic farce of Lucrece and Virginis.So there was something so offensive about Eminia Garrotti's ending that we left the theater in a bad mood.On the other hand, female honors aside, we cannot help but sympathize with Klaassen in Egmont.To push the principles of women's honor to extremes is to forget the end in favor of the means, as in so many things.This exaggeration of the reputation of women is therefore to give it an absolute value, but it has a relative value more than all other reputations.In fact, we may say that the value of a woman's honor is only that of a custom in the conventional sense.Regarding this point, we can see from Thomasius's "On Mistresses": In almost all countries and periods in the past, until Martin Luther's religious reformation, concubinage was legally allowed and recognized .According to this law, a concubine can maintain her honor; not to mention the temple of Militia in ancient Babylon.Of course, there are circumstances in some countries, especially in some Catholic countries, where the external form of marriage is impossible.There, there is no divorce.It seems to me that it is more ethical for rulers to have mistresses rather than enter into mismatched marriages with them.Because children from such mismatched marriages will claim inheritance after the legal heir dies.So there was always the possibility, albeit a small one, that this marriage would cause a civil war.Moreover, such an unsuitable marriage, that is to say, a marriage entered into regardless of all external circumstances, is at bottom a compromise between the woman and the clergy--both of which we have to be careful. Make no concessions if possible.We have to further consider: every man in the country can marry the woman he likes, and only one man is deprived of this natural right.This poor man is the king of a country.His proposing hand belongs to his country, and it can only be given for the sake of the country.Moreover, he is a mortal, and he also longs to be able to do whatever he wants.Therefore, to prevent or blame a king for trying to have a mistress is an act that is neither just nor grateful, and at the same time narrow.Of course, this mistress cannot exert any influence on the rule of the country.As far as observance of female honor is concerned, from the point of view of the mistress she is somehow an outsider of the general rules.This is because she gave herself to a man who loves her and she loves, but this man will never be able to marry her clearly.In general, the many bloody sacrifices that women's honor entails—the killing of babies, the suicide of mothers—show that the principle of female honor is not purely natural.Of course, a girl who gives herself to a man in violation of the law commits a breach of faith against the entire female sex to which she belongs, although the covenant is a tacit and unsworn covenant. .Under normal circumstances, the girl's interests are most directly injured by her actions, and for this reason, her stupidity is more important than her baseness in this matter.

Masculine honor is elicited by feminine honor.The team spirit of the opposite party requires every man who concludes a marriage, that is, signs a covenant of surrender that is beneficial to the opposing party, to pay close attention to whether this agreement is implemented, so as to prevent the agreement from being sloppy and lax in the implementation of the covenant. lose its firmness.And since the man has given everything for the deal, he will be assured of what he made the deal for, which is to have the woman to himself.Male honor therefore requires that a man must resent his wife for breaking the marriage and punish her at least by separating from her.If he tolerates what his wife does with open eyes, he will be shamed by the whole male society.Still, the stigma is not as serious as the stigma of suffering the loss of a woman's honor.On the contrary, it is a minor blemish, since for a man he has numerous other major social relationships, and his relationships with women are only of secondary importance.Two of the great dramatic poets of the new era have twice made male honor the subject of their works: Shakespeare in Othello and The Winter's Tale and Calderon[9] in The Doctor's Honor and The Secret Insult, Secret Revenge".Besides, the masculine honor demands punishment only on the woman, not on the woman's adulterer, who is punished more than necessary.This confirms that masculine honor stems from masculine teamwork.

The various forms and grounds of honor which I have examined so far are common to all peoples and ages, although the grounds of women's honor have been shown to vary slightly, locally and for short periods of time.There is, on the other hand, a kind of honor quite different from the honors which prevail everywhere above.Neither the Greeks nor the Romans had the slightest notion of this honor.Even today, Chinese, Indians and Muslims know about it equally little.This honor originated in the Middle Ages and took root only in Christian Europe.It now functions only among a small group of people, namely, the upper classes of society and those who cling to them, and this honor is knightly honor.Because its principles are quite different from those of honor which we have been discussing so far, and are even diametrically opposed to them—because the latter make men of honor, while the former require men to live in the empty name of honor—I, therefore, The principles of knightly honor are specifically listed one by one. These principles are the unwritten conventions of knightly honor, and they are also a mirror to reflect this honor.

1 Knightly honor is not the opinion of others about our worth, it is purely dependent upon others expressing their opinion.It is irrelevant whether the opinions expressed by others are genuine, let alone whether they are well-founded.Therefore, although others may have bad opinions of our way of life, they may despise us, but as long as they dare not speak their own opinions, our honor will not be damaged.Conversely, although we barely get all others' high respect for us with our own qualities and behaviors (because it does not depend on other people's subjective arbitrary), if there is anyone-no matter how despicable and stupid this person is —Show us contempt, and our honor is bruised; if not remedied, we lose it forever.This honor does not depend at all on what others think of us, but only on whether others say what they think.It is sufficient grounds for my statement that other people can take back their slanderous and insulting words; if necessary, they apologize for their words, so that it will be as if nothing had happened at all.Whether or not the other person has changed his mind about what constitutes an insult to the other person, or why - those things are not at all important to the whole thing.As long as the original statement is declared invalid, then everything will be intact.It is not, therefore, the aim of chivalry to deserve the respect of others; it employs intimidation to force it.

2 Knighthood does not depend on what a man does, but on what others do to him.The honors I have discussed so far depend, on principle, on what we say and do, but chivalry honor is the opposite: it depends on what anyone else says and does.The honor of chivalry rests in the hands of others, or rather, in the mouths of others.The honor is gone at any moment—if any man is willing to seize any opportunity—unless it is regained by the person attacked by the procedure I shall soon describe.But in doing so, you risk losing your own life, health, liberty, property, and peace of mind.From this it follows that although a man's actions are just, selfless, and noble, his heart is most pure, and his mind is also excellent, but if anyone will insult him, he will be ashamed. There is a risk of losing his honor at any moment.The slanderer may be nothing more than a worthless villain, a garrulous gossip of the utmost stupidity, a bored libertine, a gambler—in a word, a person who is not worthy of our attention and concern.But when he slandered others, he did not necessarily violate the laws of knightly honor.In most cases, it is this type of people who like to do things that insult others.As Seneca said, "The more contemptible and ridiculous a man is, the more he tends to slander." That's true.This type of person is most likely to be irritated by the type of person we have described above, because the two opposite types of people hate each other; besides, seeing obvious advantages in others can only arouse the silent resentment of worthless people. .Therefore, Goethe said:
Why do you complain about your enemies?
Could these people be your friends?

(End of this chapter)