Gu Xijue's "Warm Love" Collection

Chapter 87 Full of My Love for You (26)
If you don't do anything everyday after marriage, you will die

On the first day of the weekend, Xiao Yu called a friend there: "It costs me [-] yuan to replace a small part in my car, but the replaced one is less than [-] cents for scrap iron! It's a scam."

Then the other party said something, he sneered, "Master, I don't have any money." After a pause, "But my wife does, hehe."

I was thinking that I have been walking on the moonlight road, when did I get rich?He only heard him answer again: "That's right, I said it's because you're angry that you don't have a wife. How about it? Hahahahaha! It's so cool!"

... Shaking S?

The car needs to be repaired, Xu Weiyu called the 4S store to make an appointment: "Hello, a ×××, the license plate is... come tomorrow afternoon."

The other party paused for a while and said, "I'm sorry you made a mistake. This is the Housekeeping Service Center. What service do you need?"

I thought he was going to hang up, but he immediately asked, "What service do you have?"

"Part-time workers, family nanny, etc."

So he called a part-time worker to clean up the house tomorrow, and finally hung up the phone with satisfaction.

I watched him for a while, and had to wonder, did this guy "make the wrong call" on purpose?Lazy him.

That day, when the part-time worker was sent away the next day, Xiao Yu was watching TV, and his colleague called. He was so lazy that he pressed the loudspeaker button and put it on the table to listen.A female voice was playing on the TV and said: "Don't go, I was wrong, please don't go!!"

The other party asked in a low voice: "Are you arguing with your wife?"

Wei Yu: "No."

The other party: "Oh, I was scared to death. I also want to say that if you quarrel with your wife, then you don't come to work tomorrow, lest we be angered by you and receive a strong threat to our lives."

Sitting next to me was deeply speechless.

Afterwards I asked Xu Weiyu: "Have you ever lost your temper in your unit?"

"No." He said, "I just said that if one day I get divorced, you guys remember to lock up all your weapons, that's what I said."

"..."

On National Day, our family and Xu Weiyu's family went to a restaurant for dinner.

When he walked into the restaurant, he heard Wei Yu talking to his father: "Can you help me deal with the ticket?" His father said decisively: "No."

Then at the banquet, he started to drink alcohol to his father, and when his father was drunk, he patted his son on the shoulder and said, "When we're drunk, we'll help each other."

Wei Yu resolutely put down the wine bottle, turned around and said to my dad: "Dad, is it alright to change the relationship now?"

This guy is really not afraid of any elders.My dad was always serious, but he also made me laugh out loud.

What a treasure.

On the way home, I asked him: "I see you've been drinking, let me drive it, and you can take a break."

"It's just two cups, besides, the city is fine."

"Most of your tickets are from the city, okay?"

Wei Yu said melancholy: "Don't be so direct, by the way, dear, can you lend me your driver's license? I may not have enough points..."

"..." I severely criticized, "Be more careful next time!"

"That's for sure!"

"What if there is another ticket?"

"Borrow it from you again!"

"..." After talking for a long time, it was all nonsense.

During the holiday, I accompanied Xu Weiyu's friend to see the car. Weiyu seemed to have established the name of "auto expert" in his circle of friends, including mine. Wei Yu stopped in front of a black car and asked, "How is this car?"

Salesperson: "Absolutely!"

The people next to us were silent, even the salesman realized that he just had a brain twitch, but Xiao Yu nodded seriously and said, "Well, not bad."

"..."

Go to the bathhouse to take a bath at night.I finished washing first, and waited for Xu Weiyu in the hall, but I didn't see him after waiting for half an hour.

It was only later that I found out that this guy fainted inside... After he fainted, he was taken to the changing room. A male staff member was blowing him with a cooling fan. After waking up, this guy yelled vaguely : "I don't want special service!" It is said that the people next to him laughed like crazy.

After getting in the car, he leaned over and wiped my tears with my sleeve, "I've been seen all over, my wife, you must soothe my soul when you go back."

"I didn't see it."

"Usually you watch it alone!"

"..."

On the way, he kept mumbling like Xianglin's wife: "I've been seen, alas, what should I do, I feel so world-weary after being seen, what should I do, naked, shameful, I feel like I'll never love again It's..."

I said, "Is that an exaggeration?" I'm tired of the world, and I don't know how to love...

He immediately raised his voice and said, "Yes, my body was originally exposed only for you, but now..." I interrupted him, "Your parents, grandparents, and some elders, probably many people have seen you Naked, right? Although it was when I was a child, but when I grew up, didn’t you say that when you were in college, you took a bath and compared yourself with others? Uh, won’t you be shocked when you compare yourself with foreigners?”

Wei Yu: "Say! Who are you?! Where's my wife?!"

"..."

I would be very lazy intermittently, I didn't want to move, I didn't even want to wash clothes and cook, but I felt pimples in my heart if I didn't wash my clothes after changing them, so I called Xu Weiyu into the study and said, "I'll give you a hundred, and I'll wash the clothes."

Xu Weiyu paused, I thought he was going to say that I was unhappy, but in the end he said: "He's not that cheap."

"two hundred?"

After washing, he ran back and said, "This customer, do you want to have another bed service or something, as long as one hundred."

Me: "No need."

"Fifty, fifty!"

"..."

"Upside down, upside down!"

"..."

In the evening Xu Weiyu surfed the Internet and saw a piece of news that questioned a ladyboy for plastic surgery.

Wei Yu: "Did I spray it on the spot? The most important parts of her face have undergone plastic surgery publicly, and it's okay to use a knife in other places? Now the news is getting more and more boring."

"..."

When he looked in the mirror while washing, he looked left and right, and said, "My face is 360 degrees without any dead angle."

While I was brushing my teeth, I nodded his chin, "There is foam left in this corner, probably in a dead corner, so I didn't see it."

"..."

Xu Weiyu got up early in the morning and fumbled in my pocket, and I said, "What are you doing?"

Wei Yu: "Darling, give me some money."

I thought to myself, I can't be so poor, so I asked, "Did you go out and do something that I don't know about?"

Wei Yu looked at me with deep meaning, "Did you finally know?"

The words "eating, drinking, whoring and gambling" immediately appeared in my mind, only to hear him say again: "Didn't I silently give you all my little coffers? Try to be a good man in the new era and leave nothing for myself Money, and then when you suddenly find out one day, you will hug me and say 'husband, you are the best'! However, the reality tells me that the canteen at work has to be paid for by yourself, so, boss, please give the little one Ten yuan for the meal."

I was speechless for a long time, "Which clothes are you stuffing in?"

So the two spent the morning looking through their coats.

My cousin was teaching at a university, and I went to listen to her lectures when I had nothing to do. I didn’t say hello to her in advance that day, but I picked her class time and sat in the back seat.A classmate next to me asked me softly: "You seem to have skipped several classes, classmate."

I didn't know how to answer, so I smiled without saying a word. The male student was very persistent, and asked again: "Aren't you from our class?"

I said, "I'll listen."

The other party said decisively: "Anyone who wants to sit in on a university class? Then give me your number, and you can roll my name for me, and I'll treat you to dinner."

Someone beside him laughed, "He wants to fuck you!"

The boy blushed and retorted, "No."

This guy should be real or not, he just wanted me to call him by name, but I explained to the classmate next to me who was secretly booing and encouraging him to chase me, "I got the certificate."

The next day, my cousin told me in surprise that some students in their school were said to be married!
I:"……"

Go to the cinema with Xu Weiyu and a couple of friends (the man and Weiyu are brothers).

In the middle of the movie, the buddy said, "Tsk tsk, this is a crime with a high IQ."

Xu Weiyu said slowly: "I can see the crime, but I don't have a high IQ."

Dude: "Dude, don't you think there's a lot of depth in this movie?"

Wei Yu: "It varies from person to person, it may be quite deep for you."

Buddy: "I said sister-in-law, is your husband attacking me personally?"

Me: "..." I don't know much about it, so I don't want to express any opinions on it.

(End of this chapter)